{"sf1_id":1096038,"sf2_id":null,"title":"The Note (aka The Grand Delusion)","author":"The Wizened Raconteur","words":1157,"posted_at":"2016-11-13T18:25:00.000Z","tags":["Depression","Fiction","Suicide"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1096038-the-note-aka-the-grand-delusion","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/1096038","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=1096038\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#52 of Miscellany\n\nNo comments please. Just a little something I felt the need to write. Not even sure why I'm bothering to post it.","content":"By the time you read this, the\ncontents of this letter will prove to be rather pointless, and yet I have left it\nfor you to read in my absence. There is always a need for closure, and hopefully\nthis will provide you with some. I, on the other hand, will already have it.\nDead men have no worries.\nI am gone now; gone for good. I am\nnot partaking of some great journey to some fabricated place in the sky, nor to\nsome unfathomable depths in the fiery pits of some drug-induced imagining of hell.\nHow these concepts even got started is beyond my limited ability to reason out,\nthough they do basically seem like stories originally taught to children to\nfrighten them into obedience and submission. And by children, I mean not only in a manner of age, but in a general immaturity of mind.\nI have found that the living only barely\nworry about the living. And they worry so much about the dead. How strange is\nthat? Even within the confines of their limited thinking, the religious ones still\ngo to extremes when it comes to handling the carcass of that which was once a person.\nI have endeavored to hide myself away, where nature can do with my remains as\nshe will. As is proper. The thought of having my body drained, injected, preserved\nand then buried in a metal box is both disgusting and egotistical. What in the\nname of Hades would I ever want to come back here for? I left of my own accord;\nahead of my proscribed time; because I found living to be too great a burden.\nI have had that particular clarity\nof mind that sees beyond the great delusions most others live by. They find\nhappiness in their ignorance. I find such pathetic, weak-mindedness to be offensive.\nOh, I have longed for happiness, but there is a great burden to one's soul in\nabstaining from the usual sources of it. If I find any joy, it is in the world\naround me, in the things that have evolved on this planet alongside us, and in\nmany cases, far before our meager appearance on the face of this planet.\nSome claim a god created all of\nthis. A god? Again, a fairytale spoken out of ignorance. Which god then,\ncreated this world? Not everyone will agree. It's all up to whatever teachings\nyou were given. Given and accepted I might add. You have the right, nay, the\nresponsibility to question everything set before you. If your meal is bland and\ntasteless as compared to your neighbors, do you not have the right to question\nwhy? It is in asking that you receive an answer; or, I might say, you have the chance\nof getting an answer. Blind faith only makes you handicapped. Active pursuit of\nthe truth, and dare I say - the facts, is what sets you apart from the simple-minded\ndrudges that seek to anchor society in the past.\nBut there is always a price to\nfreedom. Others hate you for not being restrained by whatever tenets they find\ncompelled to follow. Creeds define them, as they define all of us, but which\nones do they follow? They follow those they wish to follow, and ignore those\nthey wish to dismiss. That is their choice, but it makes them hypocrites;\npretenders and dissemblers all.\nThey say to be good to everyone,\nbut what do they mean by everyone? Everyone that fits their mold of what is, or\nis not, a worthy soul? In the end; what it boils down to is this; their beliefs\ndo no mold them, but they mold their beliefs around what they feel is the\ncorrect way of dealing with the world. Instead of being the skeleton upon which\nto flesh themselves out in a manner that would make them better people, they\nuse their own ignorance, their racism, their anger and their hatred to be the flesh\nfor their skeleton of ideology and mythos.\nThis I cannot stomach. I could, I\nsuppose, if they kept their brash ignorance to themselves. While they say that\nmisery loves company, and ignorance is bliss, then I must wonder that these\npeople keep trying to infect others, and yet don't seem particularly happy in\ntheir wallowing, theist ways. Certainly, atheists, or even those who simply\nhave no opinion whatsoever; they do not go door to door trying to convince\nothers of their beliefs in a vain effort to legitimize their own stance.\nI do not believe in science. There\nis nothing to believe. Science is built upon foundations laid down as time\nprogresses. True, there are times when new information challenges the whole structure\ndown to its base, but unlike religion, this makes it stronger. It is based upon\nfacts, not flights of fancy. Not edited, reworded, translated bits of lore from\nages gone by, when magic was real and superstition could not be separated from\none's religious beliefs.\nBut I digress.\nYou will do as you see fit,\nmourning perhaps, or rejoicing, however you see fit. It matters not to me now,\nand it did so only marginally before I left. I have always desired to be part\nof something bigger than myself, but from all sides I find the rising muck of unintelligible\nmiasma to be choking - suffocating - debilitating - deathly despairing. I blame\nmyself, as I always have. Maybe I have a few more brain cells - rogue ones -\nthat refuse to accept what others can readily accept. I accept only what I see. I am Thomas; a\nhundred times over I am Thomas and have always been proud of that fact.\nScience does not break down when\nyou question it. It grows stronger. Your religion; does it do the same? Can it maintain\nits integrity upon close examination? Or is that why you are told to have\nfaith; to believe in the absence of proof? Wouldn't that be a fine way to run\nour justice system? But again, I am making you read more than is necessary, assuming\nyou are still reading this at all. In the end, all will be dark, of this I feel assured.\nFor if we go to some great beyond, then will we not go with all other creatures\nwith which we exist? And what of those who have done us wrong? What of\nmurderers who have \"repeated\". If they go to heaven too, how awkward will it be\nfor their victims?\nBut then, that would require\nthought. So just hug your faith. I'm sure it has been far more comforting to\nyour than my freedom. May your bliss always abound, but not so much that it\nfinds you taking someone else's away from them. That doesn't make you right, it\nmakes you a monster.\nAnd so ends my final words. Find peace;\nfind goodness, but mostly, find it within yourself."}