# That Gay Goth Dog: New Beginning

Author: StormTierSkywolf
Tags: Abuse, Blush, Canine, Curse, Dog, Fear, Forced, German Shepherd, Harsh, Hate, Heartbreak, Male, Pain, Real Life, Sad, Torture, Violence

#66 of That Gay Goth Dog

"Fuck! Again!? REALLY?!" I growled loudly at my computer, which just crashed for the fourth time tonight. "Fuck" i said and slummped in my chair. I looked over at my clock, and the the numbers read '4:54AM' and i growled.   
  
Man, i remember when hayden was here... i remember when Aaron was around.. Seth.. Alex, oh alex.. I remember all the moments.   
i growled loudly as my memories came back.   
"FUCK!" I spun around and punched my metal head board on my bunk "FUCK!" i yelped and held my hand, which was now bleeding. tears filled my eyes as i fell to the ground.   
"GOD!" i yelled and looked up, out the window, to the stars in the sky. "PLEASE, GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!" i yelled before bursting out crying and held my paw to my chest. "please, just please" i whimpered.   
I looked up, and around my room, nothing but a mess. Food plates piled up, 

plastic containers from take out bars, stacked in the corner. My keyboard, my old PSR, dusty and cluttered with bills, paper work, and old notation of songs.  I got up and dusted off one of the pages and blinked reading the lyrics that were upon it. "Would you fall through the dark.

Feel the wind in your hair  
Would you embrace the ground  
And end your life right there  
Or would god reach his hand  
And that moment you fly  
Or if he chanced to blink  
And then, that moment you die  
You die"   
the lyrics made my ears tear up as i heard haydens voice sing in my head  
  

 "Stare into the dark  
As the abyss keeps calling  
Try to take a step  
But then the mind keeps stalling  
Can a single question  
Just go on forever  
As a single thought goes on  
It's now or never  
Never really took much  
never really had to  
only had a small crush  
Problem was that it grew"  
A slight pain started growing in my chest, as i reached into my pocket and pulled out a lighter. Lighting it, and just letting the flame heat the metal around the safty cap.  
  
"Be who you are  
What you were  
What they see  
From eternity's viel  
Tell me  
Which one is me  
On this night  
keep me close  
On this night  
Breathe my air  
On this night  
Hold me tight  
Feel my heart  
Beating there"  
  
And as i finished the line, i pressed the red hot metal cap against my flesh, and fur. Burning. Charring the skin and fur, causing me to open my muzzle in pain, but not yell.  
  
"im worthless" i growled and punched my self in the head.  
  
"who wants to know me, who wants to be my friend, who wants me to be in their lives.. no one, i got nothing." i cried and threw the papers from the keyboard, onto the ground. "  
MEMORIES!" i yelled and spat on the pages of old songs, old lyrics. "you were a waist in my life" i growled. "i need to start over, i need someone new" i looked up at a few numbers of some people i met though my years with Who's To Blame. "i think its time for a new band.. " i smiled evilly, my mind just laughing demonically as i thought of a new band, thought of the new wonders, adventures, and tails. "I no longer have a husband, i no longer have my friends, lets start a new."   
i took the first card, the picture on it was one of another German Shepherd. His name was Ralph. Looked like a strong pup, normal colored fur, but on his right ear, he had some industrial piercings, and a guitar in his left paw. "Lets give you a call." i said calling the number.   
  

 "Hello?" a soft voice said over the phone.  
"Hey, is this Ralph?" i asked.  
"It is, may i ask who is this?" i heard his voice shake a bit, hesitantly.  
"Its Jeremy, we met a month or two ago. i got your card from Guitar Center when we ran into each other playing Stinkfist. " i said with a chuckle.  
  
"AH! yes, hey man whats up?" i heard his voice brighten.   
"Im looking for something new, and i need a guitarist, you interested?" i asked.  
"HELL YEAH! tell me when and where, and ill be there!"  
  
"sounds good, let me see where my new practice spot is, and ill text you the adress!"  
"Sweet, thanks man! cant wait to work with you!" he said and hung up, in excitment.  
i sighed softly and spoke out to my self. "one down, three more to go.. lets see what happens!"

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/yndOEW7m
Part of the series That Gay Goth Dog
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