{"sf1_id":1163868,"sf2_id":null,"title":"Second Chances - Chapter 8","author":"Otter Miqmah","words":1165,"posted_at":"2017-03-24T04:04:00.000Z","tags":["Buck","Deer","Drama","Story Progression","Story Series"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1163868-second-chances-chapter-8","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/1163868","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=1163868\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#8 of Second Chances\n\nAn explanation and an apology.","content":"_'Dear Jude,_\n\n_'I hope this letter finds you well.\u0026nbsp; I wanted to apologize for the last time I saw you.\u0026nbsp; I didn't mean to run off like that.\u0026nbsp; Something came up, and I didn't know what to do, so I ran.\u0026nbsp; I miss you.\u0026nbsp; Not a minute goes by when I don't think of you.\u0026nbsp; I want to see your smile again.\u0026nbsp; It's been two weeks.\u0026nbsp; Or, I think it has.\u0026nbsp; It feels like longer.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'I'm not very good at writing letters.\u0026nbsp; But, you deserve an explanation.\u0026nbsp; I don't really know where to start.\u0026nbsp; I should probably tell more about my family first.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'My family is not healthy.\u0026nbsp; My grandmother got really sick last year, and my mom wasn't able to homeschool me anymore, which is why I ended up going to public school and meeting you.\u0026nbsp; Well, last winter, she died, and my mom took it really, really hard.\u0026nbsp; She stopped eating, and my aunt had to move in to help take care of her.\u0026nbsp; I'm sorry that I never told you.\u0026nbsp; I didn't mean to keep secrets; I just didn't want my burdens to become yours.\u0026nbsp; I guess they sort of did anyway.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'Well, my whole family pretty much fell apart at that point.\u0026nbsp; My dad got really mean and distant, and with my mom living as a ghost, I found salvation with you.\u0026nbsp; That's why I wanted to stay over so much.\u0026nbsp; And also why you never got to come over.\u0026nbsp; You would hate it there.\u0026nbsp; It was a prison.\u0026nbsp; There was no joy.\u0026nbsp; I hate it there.\u0026nbsp; I hate my family.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'Now comes a secret that I'm most afraid to tell you.\u0026nbsp; My hand is shaking as I write this.\u0026nbsp; I hope you can forgive me, but I will understand if you don't.\u0026nbsp; Two days before your birthday, my mom went missing.\u0026nbsp; My dad and my sister looked everywhere for her.\u0026nbsp; I did a little too.\u0026nbsp; But, as I was driving around, I realized that I just didn't care.\u0026nbsp; All I could think about was being with you.\u0026nbsp; My family would never accept me like you did.\u0026nbsp; I was hunting for the warden of my own prison with the devil to my own hell.\u0026nbsp; And you were my escape.\u0026nbsp; So, I stopped looking.\u0026nbsp; I stopped looking for my mom.\u0026nbsp; And I ran to you.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'My mom is dead.\u0026nbsp; They found her body in the river.\u0026nbsp; They think she jumped.\u0026nbsp; That call was my dad telling me that.\u0026nbsp; I could have saved her, Jude.\u0026nbsp; I could have stopped her.\u0026nbsp; I hope you can forgive me.\u0026nbsp; I know I cannot forgive myself.\u0026nbsp; I feel like a monster.\u0026nbsp; I don't feel like I deserve to live anymore.\u0026nbsp; I don't know what to do._\n\n_'When I got home, my dad had lost it.\u0026nbsp; He was throwing things in the house, yelling.\u0026nbsp; My sister had barricaded herself in her room.\u0026nbsp; I didn't stand a chance.\u0026nbsp; He beat me when I walked in the door.\u0026nbsp; I'm ok now, but the bruises are still tender.\u0026nbsp; I think my nose might be broken.\u0026nbsp; I'm not really sure.\u0026nbsp; I haven't gotten up the courage to look in a mirror yet.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'I miss you.\u0026nbsp; I miss your arms around me._\n\n_'Everything hurts.\u0026nbsp; Even my thoughts hurt.\u0026nbsp; I want to feel pain.\u0026nbsp; I'm glad I hurt._\n\n_'We only stayed in the house for another night.\u0026nbsp; My dad told us to pack up and we were leaving in the morning.\u0026nbsp; We didn't know what he meant, but we did anyway.\u0026nbsp; He took our phones, and ripped apart the computer, so I haven't been able to contact you.\u0026nbsp; I'm so sorry.\u0026nbsp; I didn't even get to say goodbye.\u0026nbsp; Had I known..._\n\n_'I don't know where we are now.\u0026nbsp; A town called Vista, I think.\u0026nbsp; We are in a weird motel right now, but my dad said something about finding an apartment that didn't ask questions.\u0026nbsp; I'm really scared, Jude.\u0026nbsp; My dad isn't well.\u0026nbsp; And we don't know how to protect ourselves.\u0026nbsp; My sister tried to run away a few days ago, and he almost broke her arm.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'He is beyond reason.\u0026nbsp; He mumbles to himself in his sleep about this being a test.\u0026nbsp; He is always around.\u0026nbsp; I have to write this in the bathroom in little chunks so he doesn't know.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'I wish you were here with me.\u0026nbsp; Well, not here.\u0026nbsp; Just with me.\u0026nbsp; Away from all of this.\u0026nbsp; Don't worry about replying to this.\u0026nbsp; He can't know I'm talking to anyone.\u0026nbsp; I'm not sure what would happen if he found out we are more than just friends.\u0026nbsp; Or, we were.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; If we still are after I told you my secrets.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'I miss your kisses.\u0026nbsp; I love you, Jude.\u0026nbsp; I hope you still love me.\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_'Love, always and forever,_\n\n_'Darrick'_\n\n_\u0026nbsp;_\n\n_\u0026nbsp;_\n\nMy hands shook as I folded the paper and carefully put it in the envelope, trying to not make any noise that could be heard through the bathroom door.\u0026nbsp; I had managed to sequester the paper and envelop away from my dad along with a few other items from the house.\u0026nbsp; It was my one chance at trying to reach Jude.\u0026nbsp; I licked the edge and pressed it flat. I flipped it over and stared at the blank white space.\u0026nbsp; I tapped my pen on my lip, closing my eyes and trying to remember Jude's house number.\u0026nbsp; I know it had a 3 and a 6 in it.\u0026nbsp; 3746?\u0026nbsp; 3756?\u0026nbsp; I had passed by those numbers countless times.\u0026nbsp; It was definitely 37 and ended in a 6.\u0026nbsp; 5?\u0026nbsp; It had to be 5.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI quick wrote it down.\u0026nbsp; I placed the stamp in the upper right corner then stared at the blank left corner.\u0026nbsp; I hadn't addressed an envelope more than a handful of times in my life.\u0026nbsp; Did I need to write a return address?\u0026nbsp; I'm in a motel, but I wouldn't be for long.\u0026nbsp; Do motels even have addresses?\u0026nbsp; What if they don't send it?\u0026nbsp; I have to write something.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI heard a knocking at the door.\u0026nbsp; \"Hurry up, we need to get out or they'll charge us for another day.\"\n\n'Darrick Helm, Vista.'\u0026nbsp; Good enough.\u0026nbsp; I flushed the toilet, and stuffed the letter into my waist band.\u0026nbsp;\n\nWe left the small motel room and headed back to the car.\u0026nbsp; We passed by a maid rolling a large cart, and I knocked over a pile of cups.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"Oh!\u0026nbsp; I'm sorry!\" I said, squatting down and helping to pick up the cups.\u0026nbsp; As the maid squatted down too, I handed her the letter and two dollars, the only money I had. \"Please put this in the mailbox,\" I whispered.\u0026nbsp; She reluctantly reached out and took it, putting it in an apron pocket.\u0026nbsp; I finished helping her clean up the cups.\u0026nbsp; \"Thank you.\"\u0026nbsp; I hurried to the car and got in.\u0026nbsp;\n\nMy dad hadn't seemed to notice my sly move, and we drove off.\u0026nbsp; I said a silent prayer in my head to make sure that letter got to Jude.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \n\n","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1162278-second-chances-chapter-7.json"}