{"sf1_id":1173288,"sf2_id":"rnaxqr9m","title":"Walking Away","author":"DrianaLeSouris","words":620,"posted_at":"2017-04-19T08:35:00.000Z","tags":["Confessions","Emotional","FEELINGS","Female","Fire","History","Love","Male","Starting anew","begging","broken heart","friends","past","water"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1173288-walking-away","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/rnaxqr9m","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/7b/e8/7be818b7-63df-48b7-809a-badff4221d74","description":"#4 of Poetry\n\nWritten for Maddox Akite and Mala","content":"They say you have to learn starvation.\u0026nbsp;  \nThey say you have to learn desperation.\u0026nbsp;  \nThey say you have to learn loneliness.\u0026nbsp;  \nBut what they didn't say became my darkest nightmare.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nThe years became my ruin but the smiles became my salvation.\u0026nbsp;  \nI had to give myself permission to walk away from the one I loved.\u0026nbsp;  \nI was once told that you have to keep walking to learn the proper pain.\u0026nbsp;  \nThat's what I did when I walked away from you.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nI can still remember the giggles that echoed in my ears.\u0026nbsp;  \nI can still remember the way I would caress over your smile.\u0026nbsp;  \nI can still remember the efforts you put to make my day better.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nIt wasn't only then that those struggles were what we faced.\u0026nbsp;  \nIt was simply heartbreak time and time again.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nI know I said I would change.\u0026nbsp;  \nI know I said a lot of empty promises.\u0026nbsp;  \nI know I looked at the screen and shattered your heart to a million pieces.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nHeartbreak isn't supposed to be beautiful.\u0026nbsp;  \nHeartbreak isn't supposed to be a poem.\u0026nbsp;  \nHeartbreak isn't what you and I write..\u0026nbsp;  \nHeartbreak became what you and I did best.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nThat salvation became starvation.\u0026nbsp;  \nThat salvation became desperation.  \nThat salvation became loneliness.  \nThat salvation became my darkest nightmare.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nTime came and left, now we are here dancing back and forth like water and fire.  \nOne year became two. Two became several more.\u0026nbsp;  \nI've lost count.  \nI know I lost my way.\u0026nbsp;  \nI know you lost your way.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nEverything that once made my heart race became controlled by this nightmare.\u0026nbsp;  \nEverything started dying inside my very core.\u0026nbsp;  \nI became lost and I don't know now where my salvation disappeared to.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nThey said you have to learn to crawl before you walk.\u0026nbsp;  \nThey said you have to learn to think before you speak.\u0026nbsp;  \nThey said you have to learn control before losing yourself to the mad hatter.\u0026nbsp;  \nBut, what they didn't say becomes your nightmare.\u0026nbsp;  \nYes, your nightmare.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nI'm taking off my shoes and letting you step in them.  \nTell me about your salvation..\u0026nbsp;  \nI'm begging you to tell me.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \n~~~  \n  \n  \nI looked at your shoes for the very first time.\u0026nbsp;  \nI can see everything starting to fade but here comes the tears racing instead.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nEverything is no longer black and blue.\u0026nbsp;  \nEverything is no longer black and white.\u0026nbsp;  \nEverything is no longer a page.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nThey said I needed to learn to be strong.\u0026nbsp;  \nThey said I needed to learn to be quiet.\u0026nbsp;  \nThey said I needed to learn to be beautiful.\u0026nbsp;  \nBut, what they didn't say became my nightmare.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nYou became my salvation.\u0026nbsp;  \nYou came the air that I was breathing.\u0026nbsp;  \nYou became my smile.\u0026nbsp;  \nYou became the reason I drove myself crazy.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nWrite it out in the history books that my pretty mask was hiding too many secrets.\u0026nbsp;  \nCrack it if you will.\u0026nbsp;  \nBreak it with your words.\u0026nbsp;  \nI asked you to pin me against the wall and let me forget.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nThe worse came every time you broke my heart.\u0026nbsp;  \nI thought I could live each time but you never know how far that rabbit hole really is.\u0026nbsp;  \nLaughter, laughter, laughter became the voices in my head.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nWhen they finally silenced I looked around and you were gone.\u0026nbsp;  \nI waited like a porcelain doll for you to return once again.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nI was beautiful.\u0026nbsp;  \nI was poised.\u0026nbsp;  \nI no longer held a broken mask.\u0026nbsp;  \nBut, as they said.. I needed my master.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nI've told you my story.  \nLet us start our dance again.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \n~~~  \n  \n  \nWe no longer listen to the voices of reason.\u0026nbsp;  \nWe no longer dance to the music they play for us.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \n  \n  \nHand in hand.\u0026nbsp;  \nFire to water.\u0026nbsp;  \nBeast to Beauty.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n  \nLet us start again.\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1173287-black-glass.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1173289-nonexistent.json"}}