# Walking Away Author: DrianaLeSouris Tags: Confessions, Emotional, FEELINGS, Female, Fire, History, Love, Male, Starting anew, begging, broken heart, friends, past, water #4 of Poetry Written for Maddox Akite and Mala They say you have to learn starvation.  They say you have to learn desperation.  They say you have to learn loneliness.  But what they didn't say became my darkest nightmare.  The years became my ruin but the smiles became my salvation.  I had to give myself permission to walk away from the one I loved.  I was once told that you have to keep walking to learn the proper pain.  That's what I did when I walked away from you.  I can still remember the giggles that echoed in my ears.  I can still remember the way I would caress over your smile.  I can still remember the efforts you put to make my day better.  It wasn't only then that those struggles were what we faced.  It was simply heartbreak time and time again.  I know I said I would change.  I know I said a lot of empty promises.  I know I looked at the screen and shattered your heart to a million pieces.  Heartbreak isn't supposed to be beautiful.  Heartbreak isn't supposed to be a poem.  Heartbreak isn't what you and I write..  Heartbreak became what you and I did best.  That salvation became starvation.  That salvation became desperation. That salvation became loneliness. That salvation became my darkest nightmare.  Time came and left, now we are here dancing back and forth like water and fire. One year became two. Two became several more.  I've lost count. I know I lost my way.  I know you lost your way.  Everything that once made my heart race became controlled by this nightmare.  Everything started dying inside my very core.  I became lost and I don't know now where my salvation disappeared to.  They said you have to learn to crawl before you walk.  They said you have to learn to think before you speak.  They said you have to learn control before losing yourself to the mad hatter.  But, what they didn't say becomes your nightmare.  Yes, your nightmare.  I'm taking off my shoes and letting you step in them. Tell me about your salvation..  I'm begging you to tell me.  ~~~ I looked at your shoes for the very first time.  I can see everything starting to fade but here comes the tears racing instead.  Everything is no longer black and blue.  Everything is no longer black and white.  Everything is no longer a page.  They said I needed to learn to be strong.  They said I needed to learn to be quiet.  They said I needed to learn to be beautiful.  But, what they didn't say became my nightmare.  You became my salvation.  You came the air that I was breathing.  You became my smile.  You became the reason I drove myself crazy.  Write it out in the history books that my pretty mask was hiding too many secrets.  Crack it if you will.  Break it with your words.  I asked you to pin me against the wall and let me forget.  The worse came every time you broke my heart.  I thought I could live each time but you never know how far that rabbit hole really is.  Laughter, laughter, laughter became the voices in my head.  When they finally silenced I looked around and you were gone.  I waited like a porcelain doll for you to return once again.  I was beautiful.  I was poised.  I no longer held a broken mask.  But, as they said.. I needed my master.  I've told you my story. Let us start our dance again.  ~~~ We no longer listen to the voices of reason.  We no longer dance to the music they play for us.  Hand in hand.  Fire to water.  Beast to Beauty.  Let us start again.  Source: https://sofurry.com/s/rnaxqr9m Part of the series Poetry Previous: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1173287-black-glass.md Next: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1173289-nonexistent.md