# ...Perchance to Dream.

Author: Drak
Tags: Dragoness, Human, Love, Suicide, Transformation

Hey all, just want you all to know, right off, that this is \*NOT\* my story.  
  
Was a story I ran across many years back that has slowly but surely disappeared from the general internet and figured it'd have a place here.  
  
I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did/still do.  
  
And on a side note, the song mentioned is titled 'Witch of the Westmorland'.  
Highly recommended you give it a listen.  
  
Enough ranting, enjoy the story. ;o)  
  
Ðrak  
  
  
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This is a work of fiction. Any similarity between my characters  
and living people is intentional (It's =my= fantasy!) and wouldn't be  
noticed by anyone other than those knowing me personally.  
A few notes: I don't expect many to be familiar with the  
setting.... It's St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada: My home town. Also,  
Screech is a type of dark Jamaican Rum popular here. It was apparently  
named after the sound made by one of the first Newfoundlanders to drink  
it straight.... But I digress....  
As this was my first work of fiction, I greatly appreciate any  
comments or criticisms you might offer. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy  
it....  
  

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"...Perchance To Dream"  
  
Copyright 1995 by Jonathan Martin ((C))  
  
"You come here often buddy?"  
The man across the bar from me was drunk, so I decided that  
ignoring him wouldn't be prudent.  
"I used to... haven't been here for a while though."  
That answer seemed to placate him, and he went back to his  
pint of Guinness.  
It was a Wednesday night; Talent Night here at the local  
Irish pub. Two guys who couldn't have been much more than the  
legal drinking age were up on stage with a guitar and a fiddle,  
enthusiastically belting out one of my favourite Stan Rogers  
tunes. Actually it was by Archie Fisher, but I had a suspicion  
they were emulating Stan's version.  
  
"Wet, rose she from the lake/and fast and fleet went she/  
One half the form of a maiden fair/with a jet-black mare's body"  
  
I always thought those lyrics were a tad strange. That was a  
thought, I told myself. They paled in comparison to my own  
experiences.  
I laid a tip on the counter for the bartender, waved to the  
musicians on stage (They were pretty good, after all) and walked  
out into the downtown night.  
It was strange how the lights of the dockyard gave an almost  
surreal air to the harbour. Almost as if the night was forever  
hovering there over the South-Side hills, waiting for its chance  
to roll in on the city through the protective bubble of mercury-  
vapour lamps.  
I turned and walked towards the west end of the city. It was  
about five kilometres to Bowering Park, where I met her every  
Saturday.  
I'd never really gotten over it. I still loved her, yet I  
often despised her for what she'd become.  
~ It just happened ~ was what she'd said.  
That was easy enough to believe. It wasn't as if any other  
explanation made sense. She'd just woken up one morning to find  
that her world had changed around her.  
And I'd woken up beside her to find everything I'd held dear  
was gone....  
I walked through the gates to the park, stopping for a  
moment to watch the ducks and swans fast asleep on the edge of  
the pond. I continued up the road, beneath the almost geological  
canopy of the trees, past the bronze statue of Peter Pan, erected  
by a grieving Englishman in the memory of his drowned niece.  
As I walked, her face found its way into my mind. She was  
beautiful, though not in the way I had once thought. Damn! Why  
did I still meet her like this? Maybe I was a masochist. I'd have  
to be, the way the sight of her drove white-hot needles of pain  
into my soul. I think seeing her perhaps gave me hope that my  
childhood dreams were possible after all, even if not to me. For  
some reason, that lessened the pain a little.  
Further up the path, the road gradually changed from a well-  
kept paved strip to a worn maintenance track. Hopefully the local  
teen alcoholics had packed it in for the night and were home  
vomiting up their guts by now. I reached a small, overgrown  
footpath leading down to the Waterford River.  
Looking around furtively, I ducked into the underbrush and  
scrambled down to the bottom of the ravine. As I reached the  
bottom, I made one last check to make sure there was nobody  
around. I was beginning to care less and less about whether  
anyone saw us. They probably wouldn't believe their eyes anyhow.  
Walking to the waters edge, I sat down on one of the large  
rocks that protruded into the river at irregular intervals. This  
gorge was really a beautiful place. A carpet of rough grass grew  
from near the shoreline and about 30 feet back gave way to a wall  
of huge pine and elm trees which extended about 50 feet up  
and bent inwards to almost meet the ones growing from the other  
bank.  
I was absentmindedly examining a vein of quartz in the rock  
beneath me when I heard the heavy backbeats of leathery wings  
behind me, followed by a soft thud. I was prepared for the voice  
that found its way into my head.  
~Hello Robert~  
I turned around slowly and faced the creature whom I had  
once called my wife.  
As with every time we met, I let my eyes survey her new  
body, starting with her eyes. They were luminescent, glowing a  
soft green in the 2:30 AM darkness. The ridges above them were  
patterned with crests that met in the centre of her head in a  
design resembling a medieval harp. Behind the eyes small horns  
pointed backwards, gently curving towards her back. Her short,  
blunt snout ended in two small nostrils, below which fangs  
protruded from her upper jaw. Her chin curved gracefully inwards  
towards her not-overly-long neck. A horizontal pattern of scales  
ran from her upper neck down to between her legs, where it  
continued along the length of her long, sinuous tail; a tail  
which ended in a cluster of thin, stiletto-like spines. These  
scales were mostly a shade of teal, while the scales which  
ensconced the rest of her were overall an exotic peacock, fading  
to a rich of teal on the outsides. Mounted on her powerful  
shoulders were her wings, folded almost flat against her back  
where her dorsal ridges made a sort of path down towards her  
tail. Her forelegs were powerfully muscled, almost exactly like  
arms, and were planted firmly in the ground between her  
similarly-muscled legs, shiny grey talons clutching the earth as  
she crouched there before me.  
"Hello love...." I had long ago stopped using her real name.  
It no longer seemed appropriate. My love for her, however, had  
never abated.  
Tears started to well up in my eyes, and I ran forward to  
bury my face against her shoulder. She smelled wonderful, as  
always. I must have stayed there for about 15 minutes, tears  
falling from my eyes to cascade off her warm scales, my body  
racked with fits of sobbing. I was almost oblivious to the  
coldness of her talons as they cradled my head and played with my  
hair, her warm aromatic breath on my face.  
Finally I disengaged myself and wiped off the tears.  
~You know I still love you~  
"Yes... I do... and I love you too. It's just so difficult,  
no, scratch that, it's bloody impossible."  
~How do you think I feel? I have a child to raise~  
I'd almost forgotten about that. She was pregnant with our  
first child when she was changed. Somehow, the pregnancy  
continued, albeit in an altered state and about 10 months later,  
she'd laid an egg about the size of a large watermelon. I'll  
never forget what it looked like. It was coloured the same as her  
scales, but as if it were coated with watercolour paints, and  
someone had smeared it with a wet cloth. At that point she was  
living in a rough-hewn cave outside of town which I had helped  
her carve out of a cliff. As neither of us knew how long Dragon  
eggs took to hatch, I didn't see her much after that until about  
3 weeks later when she managed to catch me with the good news by  
the river.  
I had so far seen my son 3 times. Always as he slept, as  
neither of us thought it would be a good idea show him a human,  
even if it was his own father.  
"How is the little guy?" I asked  
~Pretty good. He spends more time awake now, so I won't be  
able to see you as often.~  
I recoiled at the thought. I sometimes wondered if the  
weekly meetings weren't all that was holding me together.  
"I understand. Has he talked yet?" We had assumed that since  
she could talk, then our son could as well, eventually.  
~No. Not yet. I think he's more Dragon than I am. I'm  
beginning to doubt he ever will now.~ She must have interpreted  
my disappointed gestures correctly. ~Don't worry. I'm beginning  
to get the hang of his body and pheromone signals. They're almost  
as effective as spoken language~  
"That's good to know," I said sarcastically. "At least one of  
us may be able to bring up our child."  
~Don't worry. What happened to me could possibly happen to  
you as well~  
Wistfully I replied, "I'm not holding my breath. One out of 6  
billion aren't exactly great odds. You'd better go back to your  
cave. Give him a hug for me."  
~I will. 'Till next time, Dear Heart~  
"Yeah. ' Till next time...."  
She turned abruptly, spread her great wings, and crouched  
low. In a single powerful motion, she was off the ground, wings  
catching the air, and then, gone.  
I stared at the marks left by her talons in the grass, and  
slowly turned to make my way home alone.  

* * *
  
I awoke the next morning in my otherwise empty bed with a  
pounding headache. I probably shouldn't have drunk that bottle of  
Screech and was most likely still drunk. I stumbled to the  
bathroom and looked over my face in the mirror.  
I was still human.  
Like I expected THAT to change in the near future.  
I also looked like Hell.  
My eyes were sunken into their sockets, and bloodshot to  
boot. My beard needed to be trimmed badly and I was starting to  
grow a moustache. A trip to the cupboard for the clippers and my  
razor put a stop to that. The hot water made me feel almost  
human. Hah! Just what I needed. I convinced myself that being a  
raunchbag was NOT the way to solve my problems, then climbed into  
the shower.  
About 20 minutes later, I stepped out of the shower and set  
about straightening up the mess that I called my home. I wondered  
if her lair was as messy as this. I doubted it. After all, what  
use did she have for clothes, books or newspapers? I made a  
decent salary as a professional diver working for a small  
contracting firm, and for the large part, my disposable income  
went to decorating my house. There were dragons everywhere. On  
the wallpaper, the lamps, the end tables, and the walls. On the  
wall opposite my bed stood a 3-foot high oil painting of  
her. I had it done on commission from my descriptions, having  
told the artist they were from a dream. I still don't know why I  
surrounded myself with what had brought me so much sadness. I had  
always loved dragons before, and so had she. We had often  
fantasized about giving up our human bodies, both of us flying  
off to start a totally new life.  
The irony was disgusting.  
Now I loved a dragon, and she was the one I loved.  
I ate my dinner alone again that night, and drifted off to  
sleep with her image in my mind.  

* * *
  
A week later I was on the bank of the river again. This time  
in the pouring rain. I doubted the drunks had been out at all.  
The lack of wind caused the rain to come straight down, and it  
wasn't long before I was chilled to the bone, even though it was  
the middle of August. I was almost totally oblivious to the sound  
of her alighting on the bank behind me, and so I fairly jumped  
when she spoke.  
~Not fit for man or beast tonight~  
"Then why are we both here?" I replied with a hint of  
sarcasm.  
~What's wrong? You're not your usual chipper self~  
Obviously I wasn't the only one capable of being sarcastic.  
"Rough week at work, I guess. I had to spend quite a while  
in emergency recompression with nothing to keep me occupied but a  
copy of Margaret Laurence's 'The Stone Angel'."  
~Ouch~  
"I spent most of the time thinking of you, though. It hurt."  
Her tone was almost angry this time. ~You've got to get on  
with your life. Things can never be like they were before, as  
nice as that would be. You of all people should realize that~  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you."  
At this point she must have realized how wet I was, what  
with no coat of scales to keep me otherwise. She made a soft  
crooning sound and spoke again.  
~You look like a drowned rat~  
"I spend most of my week like this, remember?"  
She lay down on the bank and beckoned me with one of her  
talons.  
~Come sit next to me~  
I walked over and sat down beside her. She extended one of  
her wings to give me a shelter and swung her head inside to face  
me.  
"Thanks," I said, with real meaning.  
~Anything for you, Love~  
It was then that I noticed something different about her.  
There were patches of skin peeling from her wings, and her scales  
were duller in places. There were pale spots on her flank where  
whole layers of the protective plates had disappeared.  
"What's wrong?" I asked, somewhat alarmed.  
~Oh, that?~ I detected a note of humour in the voice. ~If  
you can believe it, I think I'm moulting~  
I laughed out loud and gave her eye ridges a loving rub.  
~I've already lost about half the spines on my tail. That  
should throw some people for a loop if they find them~  
"I'll say."  
I spent the next few hours there, tucked protectively under  
her wing. We talked about old times, shared experiences, gains,  
losses, and how we had grown apart over the past two years.  
~You really should get rid of that ring~ She tilted her  
head towards the simple band of gold which encircled my finger.  
~It'll scare away any interested parties~  
"So would you."  
~You know what I mean~  
"I could never see another woman as long as you're still  
alive."  
~And what if I met someone like myself, of the male  
gender?~  
"Then you'd have my blessing. You have a child to raise.  
Besides, I'm still technically married to you. It's totally my  
decision."  
~I don't think they had this particular contingency in mind  
when they wrote our marital vows~  
"Maybe not, but I'll always love you. 'Till death do us  
part...."  
  

  There was something sadder than normal about her parting  
that night. As she crouched to take flight, she turned and winked  
at me, threw back her head, and bellowed incandescent flame high  
into the night sky. She knew that I found it emotionally  
stirring. She exploded into the air and was gone in an instant. I  
stood there, the rain once again soaking my clothes with nobody  
to shelter me from it. Once more Alone.  
Something caught my eye on the ground. I walked over to  
investigate, and discovered one of her tail spines. About a  
finger-width wide, and a little more than a foot long, it was  
coloured a beautiful royal purple, and tapered to a fine point.  
I bent over to pick it up and turned away from the clearing.  
  

* * *
  
Next Saturday afternoon I was sitting in my armchair,  
sipping a nice, warm mug of tea, when I remembered that the spine  
was still in my jacket. I pulled the jacket off the hook and  
fished the curiosity out of it. Boy, that point was sharp! You  
could really do some damage with it if you weren't careful.  
Suddenly my words from the week before came rushing into my  
head with piercing clarity.  
"'Till death do us part."  
The words echoed in my head, and I suddenly knew how to end  
my anguish.  
I sat there for a moment, unable to believe I was actually  
contemplating what had come into my mind. A strange mixture of  
fear and excitement seemed to stop my heart in my chest, and  
a ball of ice slowly materialized in my stomach.  
What was I thinking?  
I was thinking about unburdening the one I loved.  
And myself as well.  

* * *
  
I don't know exactly how long the drive was, but by the time  
I got to the end of the road, my head was swimming with emotions  
and thoughts dredged up by the time in the car. I had wrestled  
with my doubts, trying to find reasons not to do what I was about  
to.  
I could think of none.  
At the end of the gravel service trail I parked the car,  
pausing for a moment to get my head together. I wore only a pair  
of black shorts, and a worn pair of runners. The precious spike  
was clutched in my hand. The keys to the car were tossed on the  
front seat, and the windows were rolled up. If anybody wanted the  
car, they could bloody well have it. With a final, gut-wrenching  
glance at the direction which to me represented humanity, I  
swallowed hard and set off into the woods.  
I walked for hours, until the sun finally set below the  
hills at my back, and then kept on walking. It was imperative  
that I made it before she set off on her weekly trip to the park.  
As I crossed the final half-kilometre of open headland before the  
coast, I could hear the rhythmic pounding of the waves on the  
ageless rocks below.  
I had to be careful here. These cliffs were treacherous  
under the best of conditions, and now, covered with salt spray  
from the North Atlantic, the simplest falter could be deadly.  
For the millionth time in the past couple of years, I wished for  
wings, but that was foolish. If I had wings, I wouldn't be doing  
this.  
Finally I was down on the ledge, facing the opening of her  
lair. A faint glow emanated from the inside and I stood there  
listening. Silence. They must be asleep. I tiptoed inside, up the  
incline to the small cavern that I had helped her sculpt.  
Carefully I moved my head around the corner and watched the  
sleepers.  
The smell of the place was beautiful, slightly different  
than her own smell, and I attributed it to the still bundle  
asleep in the lovingly-constructed nest in the corner. The  
remaining embers of a small fire glowed in the rough hearth, and  
threw a warm light over the chamber. The same light reflected  
beautifully off the myriad of peacock and teal scales as they  
rose and fell in the rhythms of sleep.  
Tears again welled up in my eyes, and I had to make a  
supreme effort to keep from sobbing aloud. She would be waking  
soon, and I hadn't much time. I gave a silent final goodbye to  
the wife I could never wholly love, and my son, who would never  
know, nor understand who his father was.  
My family, estranged by fate.  
Goodbye, my Love.  
I went outside to the ledge, and raised the beautiful point  
of the spine to my eyes. Silently, the wedding ring came off my  
finger and slipped over the tapered end of it. The band slid  
easily all the way down before stopping at the end. A touch  
confirmed my suspicions.  
It was stuck fast.  
The tears stopped abruptly and I held that piece of her  
aloft. The starlight reflected off the gold momentarily, and then  
it came down.  
I felt the spine penetrating my chest, my now-dying body  
recording its passage with a strange sensation of not pain, but  
coolness. I felt life leaving me, and slumped over onto my knees.  
"So this is what it's like?" I thought. The entrance to the cave  
spun crazily in front of my eyes, and then the darkness that  
ensued when the last of the embers inside died spread outwards to  
envelop me.  
  

  Presently I was aware of a strange sensation. I was  
suspended over the mouth of the cave, looking down on my body. I  
looked at the crumpled heap that I had once inhabited, and almost  
laughed. So people had souls after all. I had often doubted that,  
but here I was dead, yet somehow existent. What now? I thought  
hard and decided to wait until she emerged, not that I had much  
of a choice in this form. I couldn't really seem to move and it  
would take me a while to get my bearings anyway. I really didn't  
want to see her reaction and I was hardly proud of my deed.  
"The act of a coward," I had always said. I just couldn't  
take it anymore.  
There was a scurrying inside the cave, and I was aware of  
her moving in the short passage. She must have spotted the body  
from about halfway out, because she was on the ledge almost  
instantly, bending over the broken form. She stood there  
incredulously for a moment, then fell back on her haunches,  
apparently unable to believe what lay before her. She lovingly  
arranged the body, then pulled the spine from its resting place,  
examining the implement with which I had taken my final exit.  
When she noticed the wedding band, she bowed her head and cried.  
I'd never seen a dragon cry before, and it was the most  
heart-wrenching thing I have ever experienced. For the first  
time, I was really ashamed of myself. As she sat there, her  
great head jerked up and down erratically with draconic sobs.  
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and fell to the rock with  
audible plops. Without warning she threw back her head and roared  
her anguish at the night sky. The sound was almost indescribable.  
The best I can do is that it was like someone had hit about  
eighteen keys on a pipe organ, all in a minor key and none the  
least bit chordal. It penetrated my airy form and a sent strange  
sensation racing up my non-existent spine, radiating throughout  
my former extremities. I could stand to see this no longer. I was  
past regret for what I had done, and now I hated myself. I had  
thrown away my life and hurt the one I loved. I screamed in  
anguish of my own, throwing what would have been my head back as  
I did so.  
When my gaze returned to her, she was staring in my  
direction, eyes wide.  
Ghosts! Of course! I was a ghost! Maybe If she could see me,  
I could apologize to her, and somehow gain some small shred of  
peace for my tortured soul. She was still looking at me in  
disbelief.  
I made one motion toward her and was suddenly aware of a  
weird feeling. I didn't expect moving like this would be that  
hard.  
~Ouch!~ I stubbed my toe on a rock.  
Wait.  
Back up there.  
I was a spirit.  
Or was I?  
I looked down at my feet, yes, my feet, and saw that they  
were covered with the same smooth scales hers were. I looked up  
at my body and discovered that the rest of it was similarly  
ensconced.  
My hands.  
They were taloned, just like hers.  
She snapped out of her stupor and charged me, eyes glowing  
with a fire I had never seen. I tried to take a step away from  
her, but my limbs were clumsy, and I fell onto my back. Before I  
knew it, she was on top of me, her arms clutching me so tight I  
felt as if I would burst.  
~I...~ the words tried to escape my muddled mind.  
~Shhhhh...~ She silenced me and hugged harder. ~Don't wake  
me up. This might be a dream~  
I complied, and hugged her back as hard as I could with my  
unfamiliar limbs.  
~I'm sorry. I feel like such a cop-out~ I did.  
~Well, Someone thought you did the right thing~  
I hadn't yet thought about the how or why of the matter, as  
I was still in shock. To this day I haven't really accepted a  
single reason.  
Perhaps Someone took pity on my anguished soul.  
Perhaps it had something to do with where I got that spine I  
drove into my heart that August night.  
More likely to me, however, is the possibility that the  
Soul has powers far beyond what we are presently aware of, and  
that somehow, I tapped into that power.  
We lay there, trapped in an embrace for what seemed like  
eons and my new body suddenly interpreted her scent for what it  
truly was:  
Love.  
Her love....  
For me.  
She helped me down onto the ledge and I looked at her for  
approval for what I was about to do. She slowly nodded her  
beautiful head and I turned to push the body off the ledge and  
into the black darkness below.  
We stood there for a while, staring out over the ocean,  
our bodies touching on the narrow shelf of rock. When we turned  
around to retire to the cave, we discovered a tiny dragonet  
sitting in the entrance. He looked up at his mother for  
assurance, then eyed me suspiciously. Our eyes met, and I knew he  
understood.  
~D... D... Daddy?~  
I nodded my approval, and the three of us walked into the  
cave together.  
  

   
Eternally wishing for wings...  
  
Jonathan C. Martin  
  
  
[Don't ever stop, either! -ed]

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/XekKNB7e