# Roommates 17: Retracing Steps Author: pyrostinger Tags: Angst, M/solo, Violence #20 of Roommates Been a while, I know, since this has existed, but here it is.  Next one's on the way. Roommates Chapter 17: Retracing Steps Kiyara * * * I had one new message on my voice mail.  I'd gotten the call a few hours ago, stared at it as it rang and the little display told me that Croy was calling.  I didn't ignore it so much as not answer.  Why does he want to talk to me anyway?  He won.  What does he wanna do, gloat?  Shove in my face that Sem rejected me and is going after him? I sighed, because that wasn't right.  It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair to Croy.  Or Sem.  I don't know... I just wanted Sem back so badly.  So much so, that I was holding a pillow, the only one left that carried, if very faintly, his scent.  It was pretty much all I had left.  Ye gods, I felt pathetic.  I hadn't really done much for personal hygiene, and my fur was starting to suffer from it.  I could just feel snarls where there hadn't been since I was small.  All over a guy.  Just a guy... not any guy, though, but Sem.  Dammit.     I picked up the phone, more or less with the intent of deleting the message so the notification would clear.  The dial tone purred in my ear, then the voice mail message telling me that I had one new message.  Tell me something I don't know.  Then it started playing and... for whatever reason, I listened to the whole thing. "Hey Kiyara, it's me.  'Course, you probably know that already but... yeah, um.  You know, this is really awkward, you know?  You're upset... and you don't wanna talk to me really, outside of telling me to shut up and just go after Sem... but he's really upset, too.  You know... the kicker is that, tonight, there's this party... and I kinda intended on taking you up on your offer and actually going after him and seeing what's gonna happen.  But uh... my friend talked some sense into me, and I'm thinkin' that's not right.  It's... it's really not right.  So.  I figure I'm gonna get some... uh... liquid assistance.  Heh.  That sounds fuckin' horrible, doesn't it?  I dunno... I guess I'm rambling a little bit.  Look, the point is... at this point, I think I might rather see you two happy... then try to take him away from you.  Cuz... well, you're a good person, right?  'Course you are.  And we've all made mistakes, so... why don't I go and just try to make nice, you know?  See... see what I can offer, and hopefully... hopefully, I'll get to him about what's buggin' him.  Heh... honestly, I'm not sure why I'm calling and telling you this, but I guess... I dunno.  I guess I'm thinkin' out loud to you.  I dunno.  Anyway... I guess I'll talk to you later, okay?  See ya."  Click.     By the time the words "End of message" sounded, I had already curled into myself, squeezing out a few more tears.   Sem * * * I think I heard birds.   No, wait... that was a dream.  But I did feel the sun warm on my face, waking me up, and the sounds of the city gently filtering in after that.  Not many sounds... just some guys yelling or whatever.  I'm just glad they aren't doing construction work anymore.  Mostly because as my consciousness faded in, a big  headache was right behind it.   Damn... this must be what a hangover feels like.  Ugh... and it was just as advertised; very, very not pleasant.   So, I just lay there in bed, willing the headache to go away and feeling generally miserable.  My mouth tasted awful... I had no idea what went in or out of it last night.  Not completely, anyway.   Gods... what the hell did I do?  I felt... I remember just... wanting to get drunk to see what that was like and to see if it helped you... forget or something.  I don't know.  I don't think I was turning into an alcoholic because I just felt terrible.  Why would anybody want to do this to themselves?  There was this big, black fog between what happened last night and now, and what brain cells weren't crying out in pain were wondering what the hell happened?  And, for that matter, what was that smell?    I grimaced, and finally decided to stir myself, lurching my body upward.  Immediately, I got dizzy and ended up falling out of bed, narrowly missing the trash bucket that was beside it.  Ew.  That's what the smell was.  I didn't even wanna know what came up, I just gathered the bag and winced, picking myself from the floor and staggering out of my room.  The bag and it's unpleasant contents were disposed of, and I got myself some water to wash out my mouth.  My breath was probably just as bad, but honestly I was hoping there was some aspirin or something to help with the headache.  Didn't I get some a while back for the TV headaches?  Soon, I had a cup of water in my paw, the pills settling in my stomach, and I just sat in the TV room, trying to will the headache to go away.  Jeez, what day was it?  There's so much that I'm not even... what the hell happened last night?  All I could remember was one big, fuzzy, alcoholic haze sometime after I went to the party.  Crap.  Why the hell was I drinking so much anyway?    Oh... dammit.  Kiyara...  I sighed and leaned forward, looking into the cup before sipping on it.  I didn't want to think about Kiyara, but I forced myself to think in that direction.  It's unavoidable; she has one of my classes and I can't just stop seeing her.  I didn't even know if I wanted to stop seeing her.  With her, do the ends truly justify the means?  I mean, yeah, she's a kinky bitch, and she forced me to find out a few things about myself... but was it really so bad?  I mean... Kiyara... and Kiyara and Morti both... But the fact of the matter is that she still forced this on me.  Or something... ugh, I was probably just thinking too hard about this.  Well... I mean, I still like her.  I think of her fondly.  And really, it wasn't like she wanted to be mean or anything.  If she wanted to be mean, there were so many other things she could do.  I'm probably blaming her for my nerves.  I mean... it was nice and all but... out in public?  That's too much for me.   Ugh.  Gods, what a night.  I needed some more sleep.  Or something.  My head still felt fuzzy as I got up from the table, leaving the cup there.  I mean, I don't even know how the hell I got back to the dorm last night.     It was hard to think.  Really it was.  So I just came in, snapped the shades shut to the window that was right behind my bed, and in the welcome darkness sat down heavily on it.  Weird thing was, I saw something staring back at me, in a matter of speaking, when I looked between my legs.  This wasn't exactly the ideal time, but... endorphins often make the body feel much better, and since I felt like crap, I figured, hey, what's the harm to rubbing one out, right?  At least, however I got here, I had the presence of mind to strip down to my boxers.   In short order, the boxers were gone and I was feeling better.  The endorphin rush was nice, so so nice, and counteracted the throbbing head and other stuff from the hangover, whatever wasn't being taken care of by the pills.  But it started to fade.  That, and I had a little difficulty getting that final rush.  I started thinking, and I was kinda hoping it was alcohol making me seem all sluggish in that department.  Still, I had a thought as to what would put me over the top.  I sorta... didn't quite like the idea, but it was much, much better than having a throbbing headache.  But really, I should try and get over this.  I mean, it's just... it's just a method of getting off.  I think too much, even when I'm in a hang over.     'Course, thinking too much about such minutia as to whether or not a desire for a dildo in the ass in order to get me off left me open to the possibility that I wasn't exactly alone in my own bed.  So when I reached over to the far dresser, where I kept all that stuff (Kiyara lent it to me, and lube also), I was surprised when I bumped into a body.  And screamed, jumping up, upon learning who it was.   Croy * * * I was having a nice dream.   I forget how we got there, but me and Sem were in bed together.  We were making out... it was getting really hot.  I felt his paws caressing my body, and mine on his, and... it was just... too much, almost.  Of course I was rock hard, and when I snuck a paw south, I felt him just as bad.  Eventually, clothes were discarded, and it was him and me, naked as hell, both of us kinda checkin' each other out.  Thing was, Sem wanted to be on the receiving end, something I was more than happy to give him.  Ye gods, he was cute.  I went between his legs, with him all squirmy and blushy and biting on a finger, staring up at me with his big blue eyes, and I stroked over his belly, tellin' him everything was gonna be just fine.  I was gonna take good care of him, and I mean good.  I don't think I remember a time when I was harder, either.   It was really a simple thing to just... stroke at him, squeezing around his base.  I pulled him into my mouth, and his moans were so delicious.  I pulled from him, kissing at his cute little head, then down the shaft, to his balls, and giving my tongue a swipe around his backdoor.  He squirmed, but he trusted me.  I knew that Kiyara'd stretched him already, but I still went slow, lubing up a finger and easing it inside him.  He squirmed even more, but he was drooling, and not from his mouth.  Gods, he was beautiful.  He had his arms stretched out on the bed, his eyes half-closed, staring down at me.  Even when I was putting most of my attention into sliding first one, then a second finger into him, I could feel his gaze on me.  It was so pure, his attention.  And here I was, showing him the pleasure that a guy could bring another guy, pleasure he hardly knew himself.  I know it sounds cliche but... It just was.  I didn't care.  Even if it was kinda the opposite of my original fantasy, dammit, I just wanted to be in bed with him.     He was leaking now.  Almost like a faucet.  What amounted to a little puddle was building up on his crotch.  He had his face all scrunched up, and it was just... cute.  He was breathing, but a little heavy, but I could tell that he was ready.  Hell if I wasn't ready, too; it almost seemed like I didn't need the lube.  But I slicked up anyway, and he spread his legs, and then I pushed.  He started to screw up his face again, but I went slow.  "You okay, Sem?" I asked him.  In response, he screamed.  When he screamed again, I was jolted from my sleep, flailing and falling off the bed.  It took me a few moments to realize where I was, and I peeked up over the bed to see Sem staring at me from the other side.   "Croy?" he said, staring at me in obvious disbelief.   "Uh... hi?" I ventured. "What the hell are you doing in here?" he demanded.  And that was a fair question.  I probably would have answered it in a timely manner except as I went to stand, I noticed that I was still a little disoriented from the tumble.  So I ended up shifting and crouching behind Sem's bed in just my boxers.  This is gonna be the start of a beautiful mornin', folks.   "Um.  Well.  I slept here," I offered.   "You have your own bed," countered the panther in no uncertain terms.   "Yes, but you were drunk." "I was drunk?" "Very drunk.  Very very drunk.  Throwing up drunk." "Oh."  His ears flicked back, now looking to the side and thoughtful.  "And you..." "...was takin' care of you, makin' sure you had anything you needed, gave you water, that kinda deal." "Well, alright," he said.  I was feeling a little better, and I stood up.  And then he looked at me, his face suddenly contorting.  That was a very visceral dream, I thought briefly.  "Why do you have a boner?" he cried out, and I hid myself with my paws.   "Sem, I can explain--" "Get out of my room!  Get out of my room!" I got out of his room, trying to stammer apologies.  He slammed the door behind me.  Sighing shortly, I tried to remember where I put my clothes when my shirt and pants came flying out the door, followed by another slam.  Great.  Just great.  "Just, uh, just make sure you drink a lot of water!" I called out helpfully.  I heard nothing in reply.  That, and I had another problem.     I really, really needed to rub one out now. Sem * * * I didn't really understand what I felt.  I didn't really wanna know, either.  All I know was that I was in turmoil.  I think I blacked out for a few minutes, too.  Immediately after, I felt relieved, a little tired, with my messy paw wrapped around my cock and a dildo shoved up my butt.  That was weird for me.  That, and the fact that I was desperately in need of a shower or something, especially since there was a line of cum that had reached my nose.  I licked it off.  It tasted funny.  Everything was funny... and off.  I felt horrible, but still had a little endorphin rush going.  It... definitely wasn't the best thing in the world to be experiencing, ever. I was confused.  Mind and body.  That's probably the best way to describe it, because I couldn't think of anything else at the time.  I needed to get this taste out of my mouth.  I needed a shower. I somehow retained the presence of mind to grab some clothes as well as a towel, plus I remembered about the creepy hole and tried to stay far away from it.  Who did something like that, anyway?  That's just not right.  Thankfully, there were no holes of any kind in the stall I had chosen, though there was somebody else taking a shower when I went in, and they were in that stall.  Whoever it was was still going when I finished up and left.  The hell were they doing, waiting for something?  Ugh, whatever.   Still, the shower provided some measure of calm, and when I left I had actually started to feel a little better from my crappy state.  I wasn't exactly thrilled about going back to my own dorm, but I at least felt ready to face whatever was there.  Not that I had anything to expect; Croy was in his room.  Fine by me.  There was some orange juice in the fridge that was still good, so I finished it off and tossed it in the trash before I went back to my room.  It wasn't until I had gotten some clothing on that I felt ready to talk to Croy again.   Croy * * * "Croy?" "Yeah?" "Could you come out here, please?" Thankfully, I had taken care of business a little after Sem had left for his shower, and I has buried my nose in a book trying to keep my mind off of... well, him, and everything.  I also opened a window for a little bit because my room was starting to smell again.  Even so, I couldn't help but be very aware of Sem's re-entry into the dorm, as well as his movements around in there.   When he called me out, I put the book down, took a breath, and opened my door.  He told me to sit at the table, so I did.  He looked a little better, but had his head down, fingers interlaced across his forehead while his elbows held them up.  He didn't look up at me when he spoke.  "I feel nauseous.  I have a huge headache.  In general, I feel like crap.  There's also a big, fuzzy hole between last night and this morning.  What happened last night?"   I smiled a little, though he couldn't see it.  "Sounds like a pretty bad hangover to me.  I got some aspirin in the cabinet, if you want." "Please."  I got the pills for him and one of my bottled waters from the fridge.  He washed down two of them before speaking again.  "Alright.  While that's working, I still don't know what happened last night, Croy." "You kinda drank yourself pretty stupid, dude." "Feel free to elaborate," he told me with some heat.  So I did.   I had stumbled out into the street, trying to decide which way to go before going back toward campus on a whim.  I didn't know where Dail stayed.  Hell, I didn't even know if the otter was even going to take Sem back to his place.  I was scared and angry.  Angry at myself mostly for losing track of him, and allowing myself to throw more beer back.  I could almost feel the guilt sloshing around in my gut as I half-ran, half-jogged back toward campus, looking, looking, calling out his name.  It was dark that night, and I don't know if it was just my imagination's fault.  After all, I was picturing my roommate dead in an alley somewhere, his body mutilated or stabbed.  And that's not even counting what I was trying to anticipate Dail doing.     An alley is actually where I found Sem.  And Dail.  I took about a second to look at everything, and it was all I needed.  A dark, dank alley, the only light streaming in and Sem and Dail just beyond it.  Heavy breathing, and Dail --  about a head shorter than Sem --  had the panther pinned against the wall with an arm around his back.  I didn't know what he was saying, but he was muttering something.  Sem didn't like it; I saw him try to push off Dail but he wasn't as coordinated.  In that second, I was also painfully aware that the otter had worked down both pairs of pants to pool around ankles.   I reacted.  Dail didn't even see me coming, probably because he was too busy trying to stick it into Sem, dry.  I caught him square on his jaw, and he fell over cuz of his pants.  He looked at me in surprise, and he didn't get scared until I picked him up and punched his face again, letting him drop on the ground.  Picking him up again, I slammed him against the wall, holding him up by his shirt and baring my teeth with a growl I didn't even know I was doing until I felt it in my chest.  He looked scared now, but moreover I could smell fear on him.  That's hard to fake.     "If I ever see you near him again, you're gonna wake up in a hospital, if you wake up at all," I said, growling still.  "Understand?"  He was bleeding from his nose, I noticed.  Good.   Dail nodded, so I pulled him from the wall and threw him out of the alley.  He pulled his pants up and ran off in the direction of the party, so I went to go check up on Sem.  The adrenaline coursing through my body was starting to go sour.  "Sem, you alright?" He was still leaning on the wall, his tail with an arch to it near the base, but otherwise lifeless.  I called his name again, and then he moved, waving me off somewhat violently.  "I'm supposed ta be mad atcha." he told me. "Look, Sem, you're gonna feel this in the morning.  I was trying to help you avoid that, but you kept throwin' 'em back." "Wanna be drunk right now," he mumbled at me.   "Why?" "'Cuz I don't wanna think," he said, pounding the wall with his fist.  "'m sick of thinkin'.  Too much shit goin' on in m'head, and I wanted it out for a few hours."   My ears were pretty firmly plastered on my head.  Yet I couldn't help but continue to be distracted by his pantsless state.  "Sem, your pants--" "FUCK pants!" he yelled.  "Fuck you, too!  Fuck Kiyara, fuck public blowjobs, fuck surprises, fuck everythin'!"  He made another wild gesture, stumbling a few steps to the right and catching himself on the wall again.  I hovered closer to him.  "Why're my pants down?" he asked, though who he was asking I wasn't sure.   "Let me help you," I offered. "I can do it," he said, waving me off as he bent over.  He overbalanced and would have fallen had I not caught him.  He grunted, pulled up his pants, then blew chunks, some of it on my foot.  I sucked it up, shook my foot some to get the worst of it off, then helped Sem walk back to the dorm.  He leaned pretty heavily on me.  Guess he knew that he wasn't as stable as he claimed.  Near the doors to our dorm building, he decided to make conversation.   "Yo, Croy?"  His voice sounded a little too gravelly to be his, and if his head wasn't about two inches away from my own I'd have a hard time believing it was his.     "What's up, Sem?" "You like me, right?" I paused in answering while I manipulated us through the double doors.  Sem was at least some help, so maybe he wasn't as gone as I thought he was.  "'Course I do.  You're my friend."  I started to get out my school ID so we could get through the last door.   "Mean, like... fuck-me, like me." This qualification threw me hard, and I almost dropped my ID and Sem both.  I wasn't sure how to react, or even if the reaction would take with Sem being so sauced.  So I decided not to say anything. "Heh.  I knew it.  Yeah... 'course you like me.  Oth-- otherwise th' shit you've been doin' wouldn't make no sense."  I grunted, wrestling Sem's body through the last door, then got us both into an elevator.  Silence seemed like the best thing to do right now.  "Didn't see it b'fore... not sure I wanted ta see it... but I see it all now..."   It's at this point that I wonder whether or not I'm transparent.  And whether or not it's a good thing that Sem when drunk seems more observant than Sem sober.  I try and put it out of my mind as the panther falls silent and I drag him through the doors and into an elevator.  He started mumbling again, but I didn't catch all of it.  Our floor came and it was another task to get him to walk to our dorm, where I unlocked it and brought us in.     "Yeah, you're a good frien', Croy," I heard him say.   "Hush.  Drink this."  I brought out a bottle of water that was in the fridge.  I didn't know whose it was, but it was there and it was cold.   He took a swig.  "Really, man.  You're... you're a good frien'.  'M serious, man.  All... takin' care a me when I'm like this.  Bein' drunk ain't that fun, though.  It's like... I can't feel nothin'." "What?"  I was immediately alarmed.  "Sem, whaddya mean?" "Like," he paused and took another drink, "can't feel nothin'.  Like, can't feel happy or sad or nothin'.  Don't like bein' sad, but I don't like this, either.  Can't really think or nothin'."  His head swiveled to look at me.  "You know what, though?" "What?" He grinned.  "Bet if I wasn't thinkin' so damn much, we probably woulda fucked already."  He started to giggle, and then the smile was suddenly wiped from his face.  "Don't feel so good," he said.  I ducked into his room and got his trash can, giving it to him.  Sem smiled at me again.  "You're a good frien'," he told me, before he threw up.     I didn't tell him all of that, obviously.  The less he remembered about Dail, the better, so I just told him I found him in an alley.  The other part, about our little conversation, well... that I left out, too.  Besides, he was drunk.  You probably can't count on anything said while drunk.   After that, though, he nodded, then told me "thanks" before going off to his room again.  Shortly after that, he walked out with a coat on.  "Where you goin'?" I asked him. "For a walk," he said, then left. Things didn't get much better as a bit later, my phone rang.  "Hello?" It was Icarus.  "Hey Croy.  How'd the party go last night?" Great.  So what do I tell him?   Source: https://sofurry.com/s/3egG06eY Part of the series Roommates Previous: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/69282-roommates-16-party-hard.md Next: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/125845-roommates-18-an-understanding.md