{"sf1_id":125845,"sf2_id":"J1OaZdmj","title":"Roommates 18: An Understanding","author":"pyrostinger","words":3096,"posted_at":"2010-02-13T22:57:00.000Z","tags":["Panther","Wolf"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/125845-roommates-18-an-understanding","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/J1OaZdmj","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/c4/a1/c4a1cfff-f801-4d70-825a-af7ed59eb2b6","description":"#21 of Roommates","content":"Author's Note: Coming down to the ending... do enjoy.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nRoommates  \nChapter 18: An Understanding  \n  \nKiyara\n\n* * *\n  \n  \n\"Kiki, you really gotta eat something,\" Morti told me, dropping another bag onto my bed.\u0026nbsp; They were a different kind, looked more like dried fruit from the top, but I didn't really want to eat them.\u0026nbsp; Nudging them off the bed I returned to studying, while Morti frowned.\u0026nbsp; I know she meant well.\u0026nbsp; I know I hadn't eaten all morning and into the afternoon.\u0026nbsp; I didn't feel hungry, if that makes any sense.\u0026nbsp; I didn't feel much of anything, but I managed to force myself to attempt studying for the sake of my grades.\u0026nbsp; That was harder than it usually is, because thinking felt like fighting quicksand.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"You really need to stop beating yourself up over this, Kiki,\" she said quietly.  \n  \n\"What else am I going to do?\" I asked her, still reading.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nShe sounded like she was going to say something when my cell phone went off, vibrating.\u0026nbsp; I ignored it, and for a while so did Morti until it went off again as a reminder.\u0026nbsp; \"You got a message,\" she told me.  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"I know.\"  \n  \n\"...You want me to get it for you?\"  \n  \n\"If you want.\"  \n  \nShe sighed and went for my cell phone.\u0026nbsp; Her nails were painted yellow this time, I saw.\u0026nbsp; She picked it up and pressed a button and went silent for a bit.\u0026nbsp; \"You got a text.\"  \n  \nAnother button press.\u0026nbsp; \"It's from Sem.\"  \n  \nI had to admit she had my attention now.\u0026nbsp; I stopped trying to study; it's not like I was having a great amount of success with that anyway.\u0026nbsp; Sem contacted me.\u0026nbsp; To say what?\u0026nbsp; \"What does he want?\"  \n  \n\"He wants to meet you at the south cafeteria.\u0026nbsp; Couple hours from now, at 5, he says.\"  \n  \nI looked at her now, and she already was holding out my phone.\u0026nbsp; I took it and looked over the message.\u0026nbsp; Want to talk, meet me at S. cafeteria at 5.\u0026nbsp; That was it.\u0026nbsp; And he decided to tell me in text rather than call me.\u0026nbsp; What did it mean?\u0026nbsp; Did it even mean anything?\u0026nbsp; Against my better judgment, the tiny flutter of hope began to bloom.\u0026nbsp; Despite the impersonality of the message, he still wanted to meet with me.\u0026nbsp; So maybe it wouldn't be the last time I would see him, outside of a classroom.\u0026nbsp; I bit my lower lip.  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"Hm.\u0026nbsp; Well, I'm gonna go,\" Morti said suddenly.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nI actually looked at her now, though somewhat wildly.\u0026nbsp; She was worried, seemed to wince briefly before turning away toward the door.\u0026nbsp; \"Later,\" she said.  \n  \n\"Okay...\" I managed before she was gone, the door closing behind her.\u0026nbsp; Despite Morti's behavior, for the first time in a while I was starting to feel... well, something.\u0026nbsp; I was excited and my stomach reminded me what I hadn't chose to put into it.\u0026nbsp; Looking down among the bags that I had pushed off my desk, I found a bag of sour cream and onion chips.\u0026nbsp; My favorite.\u0026nbsp; Some more looking, and I spotted several bags of the same flavor, with different brands.\u0026nbsp; I started to feel a little bad for ignoring Morti, but probably the best way to make up for it was to eat something.\u0026nbsp; So, I opened a bag, took out a chip, and ate it.  \n  \nIt was pretty good.  \n  \nSem\n* * *\n  \n  \nIt was about quarter to 5 when I got to the south cafeteria.\u0026nbsp; Well, for the second time that day.\u0026nbsp; For the last couple of hours, I had been wandering pretty aimlessly about campus after ducking in here for a late-ish lunch or something.\u0026nbsp; Jeez.\u0026nbsp; I had no idea that I was even capable of sleeping that late.\u0026nbsp; Even on the weekends I was the guy that was up and about while some people were still struggling out of bed.\u0026nbsp; And yet, today, I wake up at, what was it, one?\u0026nbsp; I wasn't sure, and it didn't help that the whole... thing happened that morning.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; That was just something else.\u0026nbsp; I'm not even sure if I should believe Croy, because it didn't sound like me, or anything I would do.\u0026nbsp; Then again, I had been drunk, or so what must have been a hangover told me.\u0026nbsp; Did I really yell at him?\u0026nbsp; And over what?\u0026nbsp; He didn't tell me, so I was left to puzzle it out myself.\u0026nbsp; Ugh, screw it.\u0026nbsp; I had enough to deal with today, and right now I didn't want to deal with my crazy roommate.\u0026nbsp; But that was probably unfair, though.\u0026nbsp; If nothing else, the guy had cared for me while I was sick.\u0026nbsp; Morning thing aside, it was nice to know that he had even bothered.  \n  \nI fingered my phone for a bit when I went in line for food.\u0026nbsp; I guess I wanted to call somebody, though I wasn't really sure who or even what to say.\u0026nbsp; Sighing, I put it away, getting some of whatever was on the menu.\u0026nbsp; It looked alright; some kinda beef something with rice.\u0026nbsp; Smelled alright, too.\u0026nbsp; So some of that went on my plate, along with the today's dessert, and I went to go find an empty table.\u0026nbsp; Thankfully, the cafeteria wasn't so crowded.\u0026nbsp; Must be really early for the dinner crowd to get here.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; When I found a table, there was only really one thing to do aside from eat, and that was to decide exactly what I wanted to say to Kiyara.\u0026nbsp; She must be on her way already, going by the time.\u0026nbsp; But then a tray was placed on the table, opposite from mine.\u0026nbsp; When nobody sat down, I looked up and saw Morti.\u0026nbsp; \"Um, hi.\"  \n  \nShe had an odd look on her face.\u0026nbsp; If I was to guess, it looked like equal parts anger and contrition.\u0026nbsp; \"I'm worried about Kiyara,\" she told me without preamble.\u0026nbsp; \"I'm worried about her because she is going to worry herself sick, wondering exactly what the hell you're going to do with her.\u0026nbsp; She's upset, Sem.\u0026nbsp; Really upset.\u0026nbsp; To the point where she didn't even want to eat anything.\u0026nbsp; Unless she ate some of the crisps I got her, she will walk in here having not eaten a thing all day.\"  \n  \nShit.\u0026nbsp; That's probably the last thing I wanted to hear, even if it made some sort of sense.\u0026nbsp; \"...I'm sorry, Morti.\"  \n  \nShe started in what I'm guessing was surprise, then leaned on the table.\u0026nbsp; I wasn't looking at her face, more down and away from her, and occasionally glancing up at her face.\u0026nbsp; I could see her tail lash behind her in an irritated fashion.\u0026nbsp; \"You're sorry? You're sorry?\u0026nbsp; What are you sorry for?\"  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"I should not have yelled at her like that.\"  \n  \nMorti stared at me for a few moments, frowning and shaking her head.\u0026nbsp; \"I don't know whether or not I should be mad at you.\u0026nbsp; If I have a right to be mad at you.\u0026nbsp; See, I can understand you being upset because of what she did, but it's not like what you did was any better.\"\u0026nbsp; She looked up, her brilliantly green eyes studying me for a moment.\u0026nbsp; \"So if you're really sorry, I don't care what else you do, just get her to eat something.\"\u0026nbsp; With that, she took her tray and left.\u0026nbsp; I didn't get a whole lot of time to think about what she said, which was probably for the best.\u0026nbsp; Besides, I saw Kiyara not too long after.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nKiyara\n* * *\n  \n  \nI saw Sem wave to me, if hesitantly.\u0026nbsp; That seemed positive enough, but I paused, pushing my hair back behind an ear.\u0026nbsp; It was a nervous gesture, and the fact that I did it irritated me for a brief moment.\u0026nbsp; It didn't help that the appetite I had developed as I came here evaporated when I actually saw him.\u0026nbsp; Like it or not, I had to talk to him.\u0026nbsp; I had to know how we stood.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; I sat down across from him with my now overfull tray, ears pressed against my head.\u0026nbsp; I was surprised with how much I had managed to stuff onto my tray: at least two of the main courses as well as a plethora of sides and a few desserts to go with it.\u0026nbsp; \"That's a lot of food,\" he said to me, looking at me with a little smile.\u0026nbsp; \"Sure you're gonna eat it all?\"\u0026nbsp; I wasn't sure how I felt, but I didn't answer him.\u0026nbsp; He let out a little cough, then looked at me again.\u0026nbsp; \"I'm actually glad that you came, and that you seem to be hungry.\u0026nbsp; Morti was here not too long ago,\" he added quickly, when I looked at him with a frown.  \n  \n\"What did she tell you?\" I asked.  \n  \n\"That you haven't eaten anything all day,\"  \n  \n\"Mm.\u0026nbsp; Yeah, sometimes that happens,\" I told him, looking down again.\u0026nbsp; The tray and its contents were looking less appetizing by the second.  \n  \nThere was another moment of silence between us, which he broke by clearing his throat.\u0026nbsp; \"Okay, well, uh, lemme start.\u0026nbsp; Kiyara, I... well, I wanted to apologize for flipping out on you.\u0026nbsp; That wasn't right.\u0026nbsp; I don't care how justified I may or may not be, that still isn't right.\u0026nbsp; About that, though.\"  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; I wasn't really conscious of it, but I knew that at some point, I had pulled into myself, not looking at him.\u0026nbsp; Steeling myself for the blow that I knew was coming.\u0026nbsp; He took a deep breath while I held mine.\u0026nbsp; What I didn't realize is that I had left a paw out on the table.\u0026nbsp; It occurred to me that I did when he took it into one of his own.\u0026nbsp; I looked up at him, surprise plain on my face.\u0026nbsp; \"I guess what I'm trying to say is... well, I'm sorry for being so uptight.\u0026nbsp; It was just a bit overwhelming, all of that.\"  \n  \n\"Why are you apologizing?\" I asked him, frowning again.\u0026nbsp; \"I'm the one that made you so uncomfortable!\"  \n  \n\"Because I've had a bit of time to think about things.\u0026nbsp; And while I guess that was jarring, well... I dunno.\u0026nbsp; I just feel really bad for yelling at you about it, and... well, I'm gonna try to keep more of an open mind.\u0026nbsp; More importantly, I don't think I want us to end, Kiyara.\"\u0026nbsp; He gave my paw a little squeeze, smiling still.\u0026nbsp; \"If... if that's alright with you.\"\u0026nbsp; I quickly nodded.\u0026nbsp; \"Just one thing, though.\"  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"What is it?\"  \n  \n\"Warn a guy, next time?\u0026nbsp; I know you like surprises and all, but... only so much that I can handle.\"  \n  \n\"O-of course,\" I said, nodding again.\u0026nbsp; I was still bewildered that this was even happening.\u0026nbsp; I was... I was really, really hungry.\u0026nbsp; I pulled my paw from his, which left him frowning until I picked up a fork.\u0026nbsp; Then he laughed, and I couldn't help but flush.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nThe sounds of the other diners filled our silence as I cleaned my plate, but it was a much friendlier one than before.\u0026nbsp; Sem seemed to enjoy watching me eat; he didn't eat too much himself, just kept looking at me\u0026nbsp; with this stupid little smile on his face that didn't stop me from blushing or eating.\u0026nbsp; Gods, I must have looked like a glutton.\u0026nbsp; But it all tasted so, so good.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nWhen I managed to clear most of the food from my plate (and suppressing a belch), I looked up at him and put my paw over his.\u0026nbsp; He smiled back, then held up a napkin.\u0026nbsp; \"You got a little somethin'...\" he began.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"Where?\" I asked, going for my own.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"Got it,\" he said, and gently wiped away some food particle my tongue had evidently missed.\u0026nbsp; The little gesture left a warm, filling feeling in me that had nothing to do with the food I had just ate.\u0026nbsp; I love him, I realized.\u0026nbsp; I really do.\u0026nbsp; No wonder it hurt so much... and I can only imagine...  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"Listen, Sem, I know we just made up, but, I have a favor to ask you.\"\u0026nbsp; I gave his paw a little squeeze, which he returned.  \n  \n\"What is it?\" he asked.   \n  \nI leaned in, drawing him in as well.\u0026nbsp; \"It's about something you've been putting aside for a while now, and I think it's time you paid attention to it.\"  \n  \nCroy\n* * *\n  \n  \nI couldn't even begin to understand how Icarus could be positive about this.\u0026nbsp; I told him everything that had happened, and the first thing he said was \"well, you might still have a shot.\"  \n  \n\"...how?\u0026nbsp; How could I possibly have anything?\"  \n  \n\"He said he was open to the possibility--\"  \n  \n\"When he was DRUNK!\" I had told him, cutting him off.\u0026nbsp; \"Sober, it was business as usual!\"  \n  \nThat was pretty much how the entire conversation went.\u0026nbsp; Look, Icarus is my best friend, but I'm not about to hold onto some false hope.\u0026nbsp; If anything, I'm back to square one, maybe with some brownie points for helping him through the hangover.\u0026nbsp; Ugh... I should do something.\u0026nbsp; Anything.\u0026nbsp; I ended up playing a computer game, though I'm pretty sure I should have been studying.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; I was seriously considering taking a head-clearing walk when I heard a key digging into the lock.\u0026nbsp; I was not looking forward to seeing Sem.\u0026nbsp; I have no idea what could possibly go right.\u0026nbsp; The walk seemed like a much better idea by the second, so I grabbed a coat and started to head toward the door.\u0026nbsp; By this time, Sem was already through it, looking at me.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"Hey... uh, you going somewhere?\"  \n  \n\"Not really.\"  \n  \n\"Can I talk to you?\"  \n  \nOh, I did not like this.\u0026nbsp; I did not like the sound of this one bit.\u0026nbsp; I looked at him, and he had his ears pulled back like he was embarrassed about something.\u0026nbsp; Crap.\u0026nbsp; \"What about?\"  \n  \n\"Just, um, could you take a seat?\"\u0026nbsp; He pointed at the table.\u0026nbsp; I should have gone.\u0026nbsp; I sure as hell felt like I should have gone, but some apparently masochistic part of me wanted to stay and hear him out.\u0026nbsp; So I closed the door, and I sat down at the table, with him across from me.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"What's going on?\" I asked, softer than before.  \n  \nSem sighed, looked away, and seemed to take a moment to gather himself.\u0026nbsp; I was liking this less and less.\u0026nbsp; \"I wanted to talk about, well... us for a second.\"  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; Oh, gods.\u0026nbsp; It was hard to keep myself from cringing.\u0026nbsp; \"What do you mean?\"  \n  \n\"I've, uh,\" he stopped and cleared his throat.\u0026nbsp; He still wouldn't look at me.\u0026nbsp; \"I've become aware of late of some... tension, between us.\"\u0026nbsp; I don't think it's right for us to keep living together.\u0026nbsp; I don't want us to be roommates anymore.\u0026nbsp; I'm not attracted to you.\u0026nbsp; Stop hitting on me.\u0026nbsp; I'm not gay.\u0026nbsp; I couldn't stop myself from filling in the blanks.\u0026nbsp; It was horrible.\u0026nbsp; I wanted to tell myself to shut up, it was painful enough hearing it unfold without thinking up possibilities for him.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"What do you mean?\" I forced myself to say, delaying the inevitable.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nHe scratched the back of his head.\u0026nbsp; \"It's just...\"  \n  \n\"What's wrong, Sem?\"  \n  \nMaybe it was in the way I said it, but he looked up at me, surprised.\u0026nbsp; Why the fuck was he surprised?\u0026nbsp; \"Croy, you okay?\"  \n  \n\"Why does it matter?\" I answered flatly.  \n  \nIn response, he got up and pulled the chair over until it was next to mine, and sat down again.\u0026nbsp; Now it was my turn to be surprised.\u0026nbsp; \"What's going on?\" he asked me.  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"Look, Sem, I've figured it out already.\u0026nbsp; I don't know why you're dancing around it so much.\"  \n  \n\"Dancing around what?\"\u0026nbsp; Why the fuck does he look so goddamned confused?  \n  \nI sighed.\u0026nbsp; \"Sem, I know.\u0026nbsp; I've been overbearing.\u0026nbsp; I've... jeez.\u0026nbsp; I understand, okay?\u0026nbsp; I'll just keep to myself until the semester ends.\"  \n  \nI really wanted him to stop playing so goddamn dumb.\u0026nbsp; The look on his face both baffled and pissed me off.\u0026nbsp; \"I get it, Sem.\u0026nbsp; You wanna move out, right?\u0026nbsp; Stop being so damn coy about it.\u0026nbsp; I get that I've pissed away my welcome, okay?\u0026nbsp; I get that I--\"\u0026nbsp; I didn't get much farther than that, because then he did something that really caught me off guard.\u0026nbsp; At first, I felt him grabbing my head.\u0026nbsp; Then, he was kissing me.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nThis blew my mind on several different levels, to put it mildly.\u0026nbsp; First of all, it's Sem for cryin' out loud.\u0026nbsp; If Sem isn't shy, he's reserved or reclusive.\u0026nbsp; Secondly, I had been pretty convinced that Sem was about to move out or something similar based on my hitting on him.\u0026nbsp; This, of course, seemed to prove me dead wrong, and you know what?\u0026nbsp; I can deal with being wrong about these kinds of things.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; I started to melt at some point.\u0026nbsp; Before it got too bad, the panther had pulled away from the kiss, leaving me blinking and staring at him.\u0026nbsp; He was flushing, and badly.\u0026nbsp; \"Um,\" he started, and I made no move to stop him.\u0026nbsp; \"How... how long?\u0026nbsp; Have you been, uh, attracted to me?\"\u0026nbsp; He still refused to look at me, and his voice trailed off at the end of the sentence to just barely audible.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"Since... since before the first party I took you to,\" I told him, also quietly.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nHe nodded.\u0026nbsp; \"I, uh... actually caught you.\u0026nbsp; Jerking it.\u0026nbsp; It was... confusing to me.\u0026nbsp; I didn't know how to react.\u0026nbsp; And um, I guess... I didn't know how to... react... and I didn't know... what to think, so... I didn't want to think about it.\u0026nbsp; You confused me.\u0026nbsp; But, um... now...\" Then he looked up at me, giving me the full force of his blue eyes.\u0026nbsp; \"Now, I, uh, wanna explore things.\u0026nbsp; With you.\"  \n  \n\"Explore... how?\" I held my breath.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \nHe managed a little smile.\u0026nbsp; \"Explore, like... 'your room or mine' explore.\"  \n  \nI blinked.\u0026nbsp; This was almost too much.\u0026nbsp; I didn't know what to say, and it looked like he wasn't too much better.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"Croy?\"\u0026nbsp; The smile had faded.\u0026nbsp;   \n  \n\"Yeah?\"  \n  \n\"Your room or mine?\u0026nbsp; Please... say something, I feel like I'm going to lose my nerve soon--\"  \n  \n\"Yours,\" I answered quickly.  \n  \nHe nodded, then grabbed my paw as he stood up.\u0026nbsp; He half-led, half-dragged me to his door with me still in a semi-shocked state, opened it, and pulled me in.\u0026nbsp; As he closed the door behind us, I knew there was no way I could fully suppress my excitement.\u0026nbsp; I just hoped I wouldn't scare him off.  \n  \n\u0026nbsp;  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Roommates","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/122898-roommates-17-retracing-steps.json"}}