{"sf1_id":1260814,"sf2_id":null,"title":"Second Chances - Chapter 26","author":"Otter Miqmah","words":1820,"posted_at":"2017-11-09T05:45:00.000Z","tags":["Buck","College","Deer","Drama","Fighting","Fox","Gay Relationships","Story Progression"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1260814-second-chances-chapter-26","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/1260814","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=1260814\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#26 of Second Chances\n\nDarrick find his luck isn't improving.","content":"I sat in my desk and stared at the floor.\u0026nbsp; Why was the universe punishing me?\u0026nbsp; Out of everyone in that class, Jude had to be the one assigned to our big group project.\u0026nbsp; Maybe he did it on purpose; he must have talked to the professor or something.\u0026nbsp; My luck couldn't possibly be that bad.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI gazed at the pattern of the cheap school carpeting, focusing on a dark stain that had probably at one time been gum.\u0026nbsp; My brain refused to cooperate any further, so I just watched the groups gather in front of me, unable to do anything else.\u0026nbsp;\n\nMaybe it wouldn't be so bad.\u0026nbsp; There were four other members of the group.\u0026nbsp; Maybe I wouldn't have to interact with him.\u0026nbsp; I could still keep my distance with that kind of buffer.\u0026nbsp; It would be ok.\n\nI could see the fox's tail enter into my periphery view as he joined the others.\u0026nbsp; My eyes couldn't pull away from the carpet stain.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"Oh god, not that guy,\" I heard someone say and I felt eyes on me.\u0026nbsp; I pretended not to hear it.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\n\nThen the group dispersed, with the exception of Jude.\u0026nbsp; He stepped right on top of the stain.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"Looks like it's just you and me,\" he said.\n\nI felt something sink inside of me.\n\n\"I know it's not ideal, but-\"\n\n\"I need to pass this class,\" I interrupted.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"I know.\u0026nbsp; So do I.\"\n\nI looked up at the fox.\u0026nbsp; He looked concerned, but I felt the hatred well up inside of me the longer I stared.\u0026nbsp; \"I don't...\" I said.\u0026nbsp; \"Just don't...\"\u0026nbsp; I didn't know what to do or say.\u0026nbsp; I leaned forward and covered my face.\u0026nbsp; \"Fuuuuuuck.\"\u0026nbsp; I just wanted this to all go away.\n\n\"Look,\" he said, his voice irritating my ears already.\u0026nbsp; \"Neither of us want this.\u0026nbsp; But, we don't have much choice.\u0026nbsp; We can either be weird about it, or get the project done and go back to hating each other.\"\n\nI contemplated in the darkness behind my hands.\u0026nbsp; He was right.\u0026nbsp; There was no avoiding this.\u0026nbsp; The only thing to do is bite the bullet and get it done.\u0026nbsp; I dropped my hands and looked up at him.\u0026nbsp; I wasn't sure I could do it.\u0026nbsp; But, with a sigh, I stood up, grabbed my backpack, and we were on our way to the library.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI hadn't quite accustomed myself to the library at this new school yet.\u0026nbsp; My old college had a much larger one, which I found myself in often as a relief from my crappy apartment.\u0026nbsp; It was quiet, clean, and had late hours, so it proved to be a good escape even when I didn't have homework.\u0026nbsp; Here, I hadn't found the time yet to escape.\u0026nbsp;\n\nWe stationed ourselves at a table in the corner, and we set to work.\u0026nbsp; Jude tried to start up polite conversation, but I wasn't in the mood, and only replied to questions dealing with the project.\u0026nbsp; I did take a slight delight in seeing him unhappy.\u0026nbsp; But, realizing my glee in his suffering only made me feel guilty.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAs I quietly read a particularly boring section in my book, I found myself watching his paw softly tapping on the table.\u0026nbsp; Despite having seen him a few times now, I really hadn't ever actually looked at him.\u0026nbsp; He truly had not changed much since highschool.\u0026nbsp; He was a little taller, and his face had filled out more in his jaw, but his fur was still the same orange tint, and his eyes still flashed in the same way.\u0026nbsp; It's like the time hadn't had much effect on him.\u0026nbsp; He still had a playful air about him; the carefree attitude that made me so nervous when we first met.\u0026nbsp; His pen tapped on the edge of his book as he focused on whatever he was reading.\u0026nbsp; It was like I was still watching him, on the first project we worked on all those years ago; the project that started it all.\n\nI buried my eyes back in my book as I realized I was gawking at him.\u0026nbsp; My eyes shuffled over the same line of text as I tried to calm myself down.\u0026nbsp; My pulse was surging all the way to my hands.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"You ok?\" I heard.\n\nI looked up.\u0026nbsp; The fox was looking at me.\u0026nbsp; I struggled to stay collected.\u0026nbsp; \"Yeah.\"\u0026nbsp; I looked back down at my book.\u0026nbsp; I couldn't even remember where I had left off.\u0026nbsp; I heard the tapping of the pen on his book and I cautiously lifted my eyes enough to see if he was still looking.\n\nI felt lightheaded looking at him again.\u0026nbsp; It was so surreal to have him sitting there.\u0026nbsp; He was an unobtainable object in my life, and now he was just casually sitting there, tapping his pen to some rhythm in his head.\u0026nbsp; I closed my eyes.\u0026nbsp; I felt the summer breeze on my fur, arms wrapped around me, his cheeks gently rubbing up against my antlers.\u0026nbsp; How I longed so badly to feel that again, and he was so close.\u0026nbsp; He was just an arms span away.\u0026nbsp; I could feel him again.\n\nI looked down at my book.\u0026nbsp; No.\u0026nbsp; I couldn't.\u0026nbsp; My entire life was destroyed because of that desire.\u0026nbsp; My family was gone because of him.\u0026nbsp; I was beaten, starved, hospitalized and abandon because I loved that fox.\u0026nbsp; I couldn't let that happen again.\n\nI shifted in my seat and faced away from him.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"I just wanted to inform you,\" I heard, making me jump and look up at the librarian next to us, \"that the library is closing in 15 minutes.\"\n\nI grabbed my phone.\u0026nbsp; It had barely been two hours.\u0026nbsp; \"I forgot they close early on Fridays.\"\u0026nbsp; The frustration only added fuel to my anger.\u0026nbsp; \"I hate this school.\"\u0026nbsp; I closed my eyes and tried to focus on not screaming at the top of my lungs.\u0026nbsp; When I was centered enough, I opened my eyes again and looked around at the scattering of pages and books we had spread across the table.\u0026nbsp; \"I guess we start again tomorrow?\"\n\n\"I can't, I have a thing,\" he said.\n\nI felt a burst of rage again.\u0026nbsp; How were we supposed to finish this quickly if we couldn't get it done right away?\u0026nbsp; I opened my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it.\n\n\"I... well, I guess, if you're ok with it, we can work at my place tonight?\u0026nbsp; Until we get to a good stopping point, at least.\"\u0026nbsp; He was avoiding looking at me.\u0026nbsp; \"Like old times.\"\n\nI slammed my book closed.\u0026nbsp; He was setting up a trap again.\u0026nbsp; He was going to put me through it all once more, just for fun.\u0026nbsp; He hadn't changed at all since high school.\u0026nbsp; He just wanted to ruin me again. I quickly packed up my things.\u0026nbsp; The faster I was away from him, the better.\u0026nbsp; I zipped my bag up and left without a word.\n\nMy fury was seething from me as I walked out of the library.\u0026nbsp; My mind was turbulent with vicious thoughts; the pain of everything pulsing to my skin like fresh wounds.\u0026nbsp; How could I let myself begin to fall for this all again?\u0026nbsp; After everything, he still managed to get to me.\u0026nbsp; I needed to stop this before it went any further.\u0026nbsp; I stood outside the doors, waiting.\u0026nbsp;\n\nMy breath left smoky puffs in front of me in the cool fall air.\u0026nbsp; It floated in front of my face like the cloud of hate filling me inside.\u0026nbsp; Where was he?\u0026nbsp; Why was he taking so long?\u0026nbsp; I leaned up against a light pole, my eyes fixed on the doors.\u0026nbsp;\n\nThen I saw the orange fur and my body lunged forward.\n\n\"Fuck you,\" I heard spill from my mouth.\u0026nbsp; He turned.\n\n\"What?\" he said, realizing who said it. \"Why?\"\n\n\"Don't you fucking start this faggot ass shit again with me,\" I said, walking up to the fox.\u0026nbsp; He was shaking.\u0026nbsp; Good.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"Start?\u0026nbsp; ME?\u0026nbsp; YOU are the one who started it!\u0026nbsp; Or do you not remember anything?\"\n\nMy mind flashed white with fury as I looked down into his face.\u0026nbsp; \"Don't you fucking blame this on me!\"\n\n\"I didn't do shit!\"\n\n\"The fuck you did!\"\n\n\"I wasn't the one who fucking broke my heart by moving away without a single word, ON MY GOD DAMN BIRTHDAY!\u0026nbsp; How the hell am I supposed to take that?\u0026nbsp; Huh?\"\n\nI tensed my arms and he closed his eyes and winced.\u0026nbsp; I wanted to hit him.\u0026nbsp; I wanted to so badly.\u0026nbsp; I pictured his bloody face and it felt good.\u0026nbsp; It felt good thinking of him in true pain, the same pain I've felt all these years.\u0026nbsp; I glared at him, feeling like a spring about to launch.\u0026nbsp; But more pain wasn't going to help me.\u0026nbsp; He carefully opened his eyes and looked at me.\u0026nbsp; My vision started to blur as my eyes welled up.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"You have no fucking idea what I've been through,\" I said in a raspy whisper, trying to fight back a sob.\u0026nbsp; I looked his dead in the eyes.\u0026nbsp; \"You don't have a single god damn idea of the hell I've endured because of you.\"\n\nHe stared at me for a while.\u0026nbsp; I watched his eyes move around my face, studying me.\u0026nbsp; \"What do you mean, Darrick?\u0026nbsp; What did I do?\"\n\n\"You loved me.\"\u0026nbsp; I felt a new surge of tears in my eyes.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"And you loved me too.\" He said.\u0026nbsp; \"And then you left me.\u0026nbsp; I have never felt such pain in my life.\u0026nbsp; I missed you, Darrick.\u0026nbsp; I didn't know what to do.\u0026nbsp; What happened?\n\nI wanted to tell him everything.\u0026nbsp; I wanted to know what he did.\u0026nbsp; But I couldn't.\u0026nbsp; I turned and wiped my eyes.\u0026nbsp; I felt a paw on my shoulder, and I brushed it away.\u0026nbsp; \"I can't.\u0026nbsp; Not now.\"\n\n\"Do you want to come to my place and-\"\n\n\"NO!\" I yelled.\u0026nbsp; \"You destroyed my life once; I'm not letting you get the chance again.\"\u0026nbsp; I stepped back and cleared my eyes again.\u0026nbsp; \"I'll fucking finish the project on my own.\u0026nbsp; Fuck off.\"\n\nI rushed down the sidewalk, needing to be far away from the fox.\u0026nbsp; I didn't know where I was going, but I just kept walking.\u0026nbsp; The sunlight began to fade, and I ended up in an unfamiliar part of town.\u0026nbsp; I sat down on a curb and let my mind go blank.\u0026nbsp; My hands shook in the cold weather.\u0026nbsp; Or maybe it was my emotions.\u0026nbsp; My entire body felt sore.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI could never face Jude again without falling for him.\u0026nbsp; 'Stop what makes you do this' rang in my head.\u0026nbsp; She was right.\u0026nbsp; The fox needed to remain a distant memory.\u0026nbsp; And if that meant doing a six-student project on my own, than that's what needed to be done.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI placed my head against my arms.\u0026nbsp; My headache was getting worse.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \n\n","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1258802-second-chances-chapter-25.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1263566-second-chances-chapter-27.json"}