{"sf1_id":127210,"sf2_id":"B1Qdl9bn","title":"The Academy - No Apologies Needed","author":"SrA havenofimage","words":534,"posted_at":"2010-02-21T02:35:00.000Z","tags":["Military","Snow Leopard","marten","trust"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/127210-the-academy-no-apologies-needed","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/B1Qdl9bn","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/18/08/18082313-217b-4405-a31a-1be6c8d89524","description":"#10 of The Academy","content":"\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; We hadn't been taken back to campus, I don't know why.\u0026nbsp; I sat in a waiting room of the military hospital we had been brought to.\u0026nbsp; The rest of the squad had gone to bed in the bunks that we had been provided.\u0026nbsp; I couldn't sleep though.\u0026nbsp; As far as I knew, Jessica was still out cold.\u0026nbsp; Teague had tried to talk to me, but I had mostly ignored him.\u0026nbsp; I knew I should be happy, but I couldn't quit thinking about that one mistake.\u0026nbsp; I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder.\u0026nbsp; I started and turned around.\u0026nbsp; It was Jessica.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"Hey Kirian, mind if I sit with you?\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; It was the first time she had ever used my first name.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"Sure.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; She sat in one of the chairs next to me and smooted the fir on one of her arms.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"How do you feel?\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"Fine, I was a little disoriented when I came too.\u0026nbsp; The doctor said I yelled something about getting to the chopper.\"\u0026nbsp; She laughed softly.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; I felt sick.\u0026nbsp; How could she sit here and talk to me.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"Look, it wasn't your fault.\u0026nbsp; We all wanted to get out of there as fast as we could.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; I didn't say anything.\u0026nbsp; I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but I couldn't tell if she meant it.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"Tank told me what you did after I was shot.\u0026nbsp; That was quick thinking.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"I started thinking too late.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"No one blames you for what happened.\u0026nbsp; If anything, they respect you even more, I know I do.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"What have I done to deserve that?\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"You lead us to become the first squad in seven years to complete that.\u0026nbsp; No squad in seven years has ever made it out with fewer than two casualties.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"Makes you wonder about some the people out there leading our troops.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"That exercise is developed to be a learning experience.\u0026nbsp; Win or losse everyone who goes through it comes out better than those who chose not to.\u0026nbsp; It's not meant to be completed.\u0026nbsp; They set you up to fail.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"And I'm supposed to be proud because I didn't!\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"No, you're supposed to be proud because you led your team to win in a no win situation.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; I didn't respond to this.\u0026nbsp; I didn't know what to say.\u0026nbsp; I didn't know how my squad members could still trust me.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"I know you feel like you don't deserve it but, I will follow you anywhere, and I know the rest of the squad feels the same way.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; She got up and started walking to the bunk room.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"Jessica!\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; She stopped and turned around.\u0026nbsp; I got up, walked over to her and looked her in the eyes.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"I will never let it happen again.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \"I know.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; She left me standing there.\u0026nbsp; I didn't go my bed but turned and went back to the chair I had been sitting in.\u0026nbsp; She had made feel better.\u0026nbsp; I didn't want to admit it because I still hated myself.\u0026nbsp; I fell asleep alone out in the waiting room.\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"The Academy","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/127198-the-academy-assault.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/127295-the-academy-a-general-s-proposal.json"}}