{"sf1_id":1287119,"sf2_id":"YnL7BBmL","title":"Disconection","author":"Nenekiri","words":356,"posted_at":"2018-01-10T03:44:00.000Z","tags":["Poem","personal"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1287119-disconection","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/YnL7BBmL","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/9a/68/9a68354a-f5b1-47b3-a799-bdfd0b74932a","description":"#2 of Poetry\n\nThis is a free-verse poem that I still really like. Again more of a personal poem and probably not related enough to furry, but what can you do?","content":"I tend to feel like myself, most\n\nTimes I wake up and I can't tell\n\nThat anything is different. Truth\n\nBe told there isn't a difference at all.\n\nI want to think that He is other than me\n\nBut, deep down I know we are tied\n\nTogether. I pull away and slingshot\n\nLike a rubber band right back into old habits.\n\nDays go by and I wonder when the elasticity\n\nWill give out\n\nIt's going to happen, just as it has before.\n\nI go out and find a better band to bear\n\nThe bruises that belie my better sense of being.\n\nAnd it's always a surprise!\n\nIt never should be; I can feel Him well before his\n\nArrival. He comes to sever the ties I make\n\nTo keep Him at bay. He should know better.\n\nWhen I was young, He would come and I would bat\n\nHim away like a playful kitten. Calling Him nonsensical\n\nAnd irrational, I held all the cards and He could barely\n\nPlay. Now that age has worn on my ego and esteem\n\nHe rises like a fanciful dream, whispering horrid thoughts\n\nInto my head. Through all the years He learned to gamble,\n\nWhich gambits were the best to ply at my mind. Cracking\n\nMy resolve until there is but a mass of unrecognizable energy.\n\nHe has a name, but I won't say it here\n\nNames hold great power you see, and it is my humble\n\nOpinion that he holds too much already.\n\nI usually win the fights he starts but there are parts\n\nThat scare me. And yet I push on and on and off\n\nThough many still would scoff, at the nature of it all.\n\nI build walls of emotions and fences of fortitude\n\nWhilst I stack the bricks of my empathy and shout\n\n\"I will not be like Him!\"\n\nAnd he comes like he always does, rending my hard\n\nWork asunder in a blaze of thunder that rivals Zeus himself.\n\nBut in between the cracks in the concrete and the chips in the walls,\n\nIs a structure left standing in defiance\n\nFor I will not give compliance\n\nTo Him.\n\n","series":{"name":"Poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1287095-dragon-haiku-storms-of-old.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1287489-forest.json"}}