# The Safeword is 'Papa' (ch.8)

Author: Agrius
Tags: Cuddling, Fennec, Finnick, Fox, Friendship, Gay, M/M, Nick Wilde, Red Fox, Zootopia, afterglow

#8 of The Safeword is 'Papa'

The air from the slowly-churning fan lanced my face as I laid there in the dark, gently combing my fingers through his fur. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

Nick had fallen asleep on me. &nbsp;The little cunt pocket.

&nbsp;

For the longest time I just stared up at the ceiling, watching the blades stir the air. &nbsp;I listened to the rhythmic rise and fall of Nick's breathing, menacing his flicking ear with the tip of a claw. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

I love you, you slimy piece of shit.

&nbsp;

His head weighed a ton on my chest, making it difficult for me to breathe. &nbsp;Can't say I minded though. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

I could feel his heartbeat through my belly. &nbsp;He squeezed me in his sleep like I was his stuffed plaything, snuggling down against me, a contented grin on his face.

&nbsp;

I love you, you enormous pain in my ass.

&nbsp;

His ear kept flicking underneath my chin. &nbsp;I carefully gathered it up in my paw, pressing it to my lips, kissing into it. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

I love you, you unimaginable bastard.

&nbsp;

Full disclosure: my ass hurt. Or rather, it was profoundly sore. &nbsp;Which I guess I should have expected, given the size difference between us. &nbsp;He probably rearranged some stuff up there while we were going at it. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

&nbsp;

The bedside alarm read 2:04 in big boxy fluorescent numbers. &nbsp;I slipped my paw into his, marveling at how our fingers dovetailed together so perfectly. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

I knew that it wouldn't last. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

Even then. &nbsp;Even there on the bed, as we held eachother. &nbsp;Even as I was falling head over heels in love with him, a part of me knew that it couldn't last forever. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

The day would come when I would fuck this up. &nbsp;When I would push him away for good. &nbsp;It had to happen. &nbsp;There was just no way it wouldn't. &nbsp;I knew myself too well to believe otherwise.

&nbsp;

I gathered his ear up again, pressing it back to my lips. &nbsp;"I love you," I whispered softly.

&nbsp;

"Mmmf," Nick stirred in his sleep, a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. &nbsp;"Love you too babe."

&nbsp;

I shook my head, throwing my arm up, hiding my eyes in the crook of my elbow. &nbsp;At the very least, once the shit finally hit the fan, I'd have this night to remember. &nbsp;The way he touched me. &nbsp;The way he kissed me. &nbsp;The feel of him pushing inside me for the first time. &nbsp;I'd get to re-live these memories whenever I wanted, up until old age and senility took them away from me.

&nbsp;

I made a silent promise right then that, futile though it was, I would try. &nbsp;I'd try my best to be the boyfriend he needed me to be, for as long as I had him for. &nbsp;Whether that was a few months or a year or two. &nbsp;And then, once the train finally rolled off the tracks, I'd go back to being the best friend I used to be. &nbsp;No awkwardness. &nbsp;No messy transition. &nbsp;Easy.

&nbsp;

I'd still love him, of course. &nbsp;Afterward. &nbsp;From afar. &nbsp;Maybe forever.

&nbsp;

But all that was well out of sight, far down the road. &nbsp;Right then, he was mine. &nbsp;I could kiss him, touch him, and play with him all I wanted. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

And y'know what? &nbsp;The thought of that had a little grin on my face as I finally drifted off to sleep. &nbsp;With Nick's head heavy on my chest. &nbsp;

&nbsp;

Listening to the gentle rise and fall of his breathing.

&nbsp;

**THE END**

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/k1VLJybm
Part of the series The Safeword is 'Papa'
Previous: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1185948-the-safeword-is-papa-ch-7.md