# Poem: Flameout

Author: Varg Stigandr
Tags: Clean, Depression, Night, No-Yiff, Poem, Suicide

A terrible poem written... I don't really know why, proof read while half awake and put up here because I don't know what else to do with it.
You have been warned.

It all goes quiet  
  
  
  
  
That's when you know  
It's happening again  
  
The nose pitches forward,  
So you haul back on the stick  
For a moment a response  
But it's gone all too quick  
  
Your heart, like your head,  
Knows what's below  
Knows what is coming  
Knows where you'll go.  
  
'Mayday! Mayday!'  
You can cry all you want  
The replies pour back in:  
'We'll help!!' they taunt.  
  
But what can they do?  
Follow you down?  
Picking up speed  
as you hurl towards the ground?  
  
Even if they are there  
And you know that they are  
The smoke from instruments  
Coats the windows with tar  
  
You're alone either way  
And they can do nothing  
So why bother them at all  
You're better of bluffing  
  
'You ok?' they might ask  
It's 'I'm fine!' (you're insane)  
But telling them this   
Will only bring pain  
  
They can't bring your nose up  
Can't extinguish that fire  
They can't fix your engine  
Your brain sinking in mire  
  
Only watch in anguish  
As you plummet down  
Accelerating constantly  
Curving toward the ground.  
  
Stay silent.  
  
No one can help you  
You'll only cause them more pain.  
Suffer quietly  
You might escape this again  
  
Stay dark.  
  

 You're alone anyway  
In a crowd, in a wilderness  
The less that are with you  
The less you might crash with  
  
Do you want your friend by your side  
If it's a smoking hole in the ground?  
If you hit he should live.  
She'll get over the pain.  
  
There's a buffet  
And you're mashed  
Down into your seat  
As your brain levels out  
Probably over some street.  
  
You hurl on forward  
People notice  
you can't hide  
Not from all of them  
  
Calls come in  
You know what they say  
'Are you ok?'  
'Let us help you!'  
  
The radio's toast  
Understanding them is hard  
Call back even harder  
But they won't go away if you're silent  
  
Where's that damn thing anyway?  
You can't see from the smoke  
Can't find your checklist, your map  
Can't find your instruments, your radio,  
Anything, please!  
It's so hard to think  
  
'Go away.'  
Maybe they'll leave you alone.  
They don't.  
  
'Just snap out of it.'  
'Do cheerful things.'  
'Do fun stuff with us, it'll make you feel better!'  
As if you just flying through unpleasant weather.  
  
They mock you  
Though they mean well  
It's all pointless, hopeless, useless  
All is lost; you're in hell  
  

 You pull on the stick again  
You can roll left or right nice  
You bet you can dive  
Up, though, no dice  
  
The people are still around you  
People who care  
You wish they would leave  
Why are they there?  
  
They're making it worse  
Though not of their tool  
If you're alone be alone  
In a crowd is cruel  
  
Go away! You're hurting them!  
The guilt piles on  
Why can't they understand  
That they're hurting you too?  
  
So you're mean.  
You snap left and right.  
You run them away  
Through the radio you bite.  
  
You hurt them, you know  
But it's momentary  
The guilt is there but no more piles on  
For now the pain stays the same  
For now it's sedentary  
  
Night has been falling  
You're own personal dark  
You're own personal hell  
Will you strike something there  
Leave one final mark?  
  
This would be over with  
There would be no more 'again'  
  
It's in the black you notice.  
In the soot and the smoke  
  
There it is again  
  
...And again  
  
A faint flash of red  
The smoke glows, then it's gone  
  
To flash once again.  
  
You wipe grime on the window,  
You try to see out.  
There are lights off your wings  
To the left and your right  
  

 What?  
  
There's a flash again  
  
You can make out a tail, and wings.  
  
Flash.  
  
A cockpit.  
There's a figure  
Looking at you  
The radio stays silent.  
He only nods.  
  
To the left there's the same.  
The radio, in the black  
You fumble, you find it  
'What are you doing? Turn back!'  
  
'No.'  
  
Great. One of these people.  
  
'Go away,' you say.  
'Don't you know  
What happens out here?'  
  
In the next flash of red strobe  
her face looks grim  
  
'We do,' she says.  
'We've been here before and  
We're here again to go though it  
with you.'  
  
You stared out the window  
What should you say?  
Who the hell  
Wants to be in hell?  
Who would go through this again?  
  
'Are you nuts?' you say  
'Why?!'  
  
'Because,'  
the other pilot says  
'You're worth it.'

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/pnGZVO7m