{"sf1_id":1649779,"sf2_id":"Rm0k8bKe","title":"Fishcreek","author":"Alacosia","words":1335,"posted_at":"2020-11-12T21:58:00.000Z","tags":["Alacosia","Argonian","Elder Scrolls","Ghost","Illusion","Magic","Paranormal","Skyrim","tes"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1649779-fishcreek","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/Rm0k8bKe","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/77/bd/77bdae52-6a3a-461d-80ec-db25ae0a39b4","description":"#1 of Alacosia\n\nOne of the first poems I finished that I'm actually satisfied with.","content":"On days when it rained, we came here\n\nTo celebrate our mutual tainted destiny, under the secure embrace of old willow trees\n\nTo listen to the soft sound of the rain hitting leaves, to get away from all we feared\n\nOn days where clouds masked the sky, shutting most in their homes, we came here\n\nHere where the sound of rain hitting the creek would drown out two souls' bonding\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nThe warm smell of petrichor still reminds me of you\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nLeaning against the same willow's bark, these memories return to me\n\nThe centipedes that crawled our ankles as if they were hills\n\nThe chirping of crickets and birds, the illusion of time standing still\n\nOh lover, reflected now in the water\n\nYou are not really there\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nSuch bitter sweetness fills my veins\n\nThe sour aftertaste of snowberries\n\nI wish our hubris never caught up to us\n\nI wish it hadn't rained that day\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI seethed with hatred back then\n\nBlood boiling from your transgressions\n\nYou forced blame on yourself\n\nSuch heinous self-righteousness\n\nAs if your very blood was made of light\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI've since witnessed bitter coldness and blackened nights\n\nI've seen the soft steam rise from nostrils and soft snow-covered boots\n\nThe more north I traveled, the more foreboding I felt\n\nThe aura of you remained\n\nIn the quiet emptiness of snow fields\n\nIn the howling of the wind\n\nPebbles suddenly rolling off the mountain struck me with fear\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI came to the husk of a sanctuary\n\nBegging to gain the knowledge for vengeance\n\nThe archmage saw something in my eyes\n\nAnd allowed me sanctum for study\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nEach quiet night forced me awake; nightmares plaguing my mind\n\nI awoke each time, shivered and gasping\n\nMy eyes focusing to see the slow snowfall instead of nostalgic rain\n\nTo see the familiar abyss that lie out the window, and something more\n\nFor the first time since your passing\n\nI saw you once again\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nDrifting just outside the tall window\n\nA thin, tattered tunic hypnotically wavering\n\nNo howling wind that night\n\nYour eyes black as fresh script\n\nDripping with ink scented sorrow\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI have seen colleague's flesh burn asunder\n\nI have seen summons turn against their masters\n\nThese tragedies had lessons attached\n\nYour death left me learning no such lesson\n\nYour nightly visits soon found themselves commonplace\n\nAnd with them came visions that betrayed memories\n\nI toiled through those long quiet nights\n\nAll while you hung outside my window\n\nIdle, with sunken eyes beckoning\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nMy lessons were of emotional control\n\nThe fundamentals of bending others' will\n\nCasting strings of invisible silk\n\nTo not rid the world of its permanent ink stain\n\nBut to change it to my own favorite hue\n\nI devoted myself to the art\n\nMy brushes: each emotion\n\nMy strokes: omnipotence cultivated and steeped in dark desire\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI sought sweet suffering for you\n\nTo cast those strings on those that dared touched you\n\nTo have them feel my concentrated pain\n\nTo watch as it eviscerated their mind\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nThe man I called archmage saw this desire in my eyes\n\nThe man acted as a seer one night\n\n\"Desire has made you blind.\"\n\nIt was the same as all talented casters of illusion\n\n\"The desire for more control will consume you\"\n\nHis eyes made his desires shine clear as diamonds\n\nHe saw a brilliant flame and proclaimed it a spark\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nA long quiet decade extinguished with single conversation\n\nI had learned everything, and sought the creek's comfort once more\n\nTo bring you peace, I knew I had to travel back\n\nThrough the night I rushed as fast as I could\n\nSeeking only to rest when I saw no snow\n\nAlas, sunrise was coming soon\n\nWith its first ray, I sought refuge in an abandoned cabin\n\nDarkness had made its home inside\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nIn quiet contemplation I sat, with small rations aiding my survival\n\nAbstract figures made themselves apparent in front of me\n\nDark ellipses and circles silently wavering with each twitch of my retina\n\nThe piercing quiet rang in my ears\n\nThe irregular shapes sought familiar form\n\nYou\n\nYou stared back at me, no emotion in your fake eyes\n\nFor the first time since your passing\n\nI heard you speak once again\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"The desire for more control will consume you\"\n\nThe archmage's voice hissed through your closed mouth\n\nInk dripped onto the old wood, flaring my nostrils\n\nI turned towards the ground\n\nBut the vision wouldn't vanish\n\n\"I enticed him! Threw myself onto him!\"\n\nNo more a hiss\n\nNow a familiar voice\n\n\"Lover?\" my voice quivered\n\nHead in my hands\n\nYou stared back\n\nBoth hands behind your waist\n\nA laced frown\n\nNo words came out\n\nMy own quickening heartbeat\n\nPounding in my torso\n\n\"You're almost at peace!\" I begged the apparition\n\n\"I'm scared...\n\nbut at least you're...\n\nyou're safe\"\n\nThe voice stopped\n\nThe ink from your eyes spilling out faster\n\nThe soft patter against wood\n\nThe soft patter splashing into my eyes\n\nSquinting didn't dilute the vision\n\nMy lungs pleaded for air\n\nThe stench of ink forcing me to cough and retch\n\nFrantic arms explored the walls\n\nBegging for a doorknob\n\nWhen they did, my body was suddenly thankful for the cold snow-covered earth\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nSoft vapored breath barely veiled the sunset\n\nThe freshness of frigid air cleansing my lungs\n\nWatery eyes were wiped\n\nI only had wished you could've been more grateful\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nThe roads south were dangerous for the weak\n\nInvisible silk kept me safe\n\nWith the sleight of my hand\n\nBoth man and animal saw no one\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nDays passed, and mountains turned to hills\n\nIn a narrow mountain pass, I felt the first drop on my head\n\nA more powerful placebic warmth has never been found\n\nThe rain showered, eased my heart, and seeped into my soul\n\nI fell to my knees to embrace it fully\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nUneventfulness filled the rest of the journey\n\nA wide plane before the southern forest\n\nObserving the sun's rays pierce the oaks and maples\n\nMy legs began to feel weak as I neared\n\nThrough the gate of the city known only for its graves\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nIn a tavern I had learned all I needed to know\n\nAnd then\n\nThe warm smell of petrichor choked my neck much like a noose\n\nStumbling outside, my lungs begged for air once again\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI fell to my knees in sorrow, and the creek played its same subtle song\n\nThe willow with its wispy branches cradled me as a mother would her frightened child\n\nHuddled, I succumbed to the grief and mourned for you\n\nI wept in memory of our time there\n\nFor your tenderness that I no longer would find in anyone\n\nI clutched the soft earth in anger, and pleaded for your return to me\n\nThrough stifled breaths I splashed the creeks water across my face\n\nAnd the memories began to begrudgingly drift away\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nNow, I lean here in quiet rumination\n\nMy inner qualms fighting amongst themselves\n\nHe escaped me, lover\n\nThe one that caused you the worse pain\n\nThe Gods placed him next to you for eternity\n\nHis grave ornate marble, framed with bronze\n\nYours a stick, framed with twine\n\nWith centipedes crawling over both corpses\n\nWith eyes staring into infinite abysses\n\nAnd ears filled with a piercing quiet\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nSomeone took his life from me\n\nTook your peace away from me\n\nI understand your sorrow, lover\n\nYour securing whispers granting me sanity\n\nYet driving me deeper into darkness\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI peer into the creek, and see you once again\n\nHollowed eyes spilling ink\n\nI watch as it flows down, poisoning the creek\n\nThose eyes allure me, beckon me closer\n\nCaptivated, I lose myself to them\n\nEmbracing the intricacies of your mind\n\nAnd through torrents of ink\n\nI begin to see\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nTruly see you how I remember\n\nThe soft glint of your eyes\n\nThe infectious smile\n\nBut in a flash, it's gone\n\nThe husk is the only thing that stares back\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \n\n"}