{"sf1_id":1690617,"sf2_id":"k1V0qWml","title":"Reaching for the Stars - Chapter 34: Iridescent Warmth","author":"hashtse_apxan","words":3497,"posted_at":"2021-03-01T18:26:00.000Z","tags":["Character Development","College","Cuddling","Depression","Dog","Gay","German Shepherd","M/M","No-Yiff","Plot Development","Romance","Snow","Story Series","University","Wolf"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1690617-reaching-for-the-stars-chapter-34-iridescent-warmth","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/k1V0qWml","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/ac/66/ac66354a-0758-43eb-9c33-fd874528aa13","description":"#35 of Reaching for the Stars","content":"Tom stared at his reflection in the mirror. It looked tired, stressed, even depressed. The reflection's shoulders sagged as if it were carrying a burden too heavy for it. The eyes looked tired as if the person had already given up. He wanted to say that this was not him, that he was looking forward to spending the winter holiday with joy. Unfortunately, mirrors couldn't lie.\n\nHowever, what stood up from the rest was his right eye. It looked bright red, the iris, so bizarre, so... otherworldly. A contrast to his faded red left eye.\n\nAnd it couldn't see.\n\nNo matter how hard he tried, his right eye couldn't see. His vision was now imperfect, limited only to the other eye he had left. He was partially blind. Fuck Rodrigo's boss for kicking him that hard.\n\nMaybe his time was approaching. Doctor had said that his eyes might no longer be able to see, and he had come to terms with it. He had surrendered himself to the harshness of reality. Surgery was an option but he couldn't afford it.\n\nHe looked away and sat on his bed, burying his face in his arms. Sure, it made him look so awesome; red heterochromia looked so cool in films and comics, and his was no exception. However, he wondered how would people think of him, because no matter how, his eyes were different.\n\nDifferent.\n\nHe lay on the bed and stared at the ceilings. This one, he couldn't hide it. Scars, sure. Cuts, of course. Blood streaks, easy. But an eye is something everyone looked at. He couldn't just hide it because people would ask.\n\nWhy did the world hate him so much? He only wanted to be normal, _dammit_; was that too much to ask?! Normal life was enough.\n\nThe grey wolf took a deep breath. Covering it with an eyepatch would be the best option, but he couldn't go to the city without anyone noticing his eyes.\n\nHis alarm rang. It was 5 in the morning.\n\n_Rule one: do not stand out too much._\n\nWhatever. If people were going to see, then so be it.\n\n* * *\n\n\"He got away.\"\n\nRodrigo looked at the floor, leaving his boss to talk to his boss' boss. He disliked this part of his job because meeting the gang leader or the Big Boss meant listening to his insanity.\n\nAt least this time it wasn't his fault.\n\n\"No surprise there.\" The bear puffed his cigarette. \"I wasn't really expecting you to catch him, anyway.\"\n\nThe bison flinched.\n\n\"Apologies, boss, we--\"\n\nBig Boss cut him. \"Nonetheless, I expect you to bring me some information.\"\n\n\"Y-yes.\" His boss walked to Big Boss' desk, the footsteps very audible in the deadly quiet room. The room was cold, dark, and in his opinion, very uncomfortable for him. Like the rest of the building, the room was very disorienting.\n\nAs his boss walked closer to the desk, the guards slowly lessened their hold on the guns. Big Boss only looked at him when he put something on the desk.\n\n\"He is attending Barrowisle University, eighth semester. We couldn't find what major he is attending.\"\n\nBig Boss hummed.\n\n\"He has just finished his internship, but we couldn't find what company he worked in.\"\n\nRodrigo heard a gun clicking, and he closed his eyes.\n\n\"Good.\" Big Boss said, seemingly pleased with the information. But words could lie. \"Do you have anything to add?\"\n\nFeeling that he was being addressed, he opened his eyes and looked up slightly. \"No, sir.\" He actually wanted to tell that he met Red Wolf a few days ago when he was almost dead after a failed mission in that alleyway, but Red Wolf didn't kill him. The least he could do was to stay quiet. \"That is everything we found.\"\n\n\"Good.\" Leaning back on his seat, Big Boss made a gesture and one of his underlings came forward. \"Take this evidence to Caroline. She knows what to do.\"\n\n\"Yes, sir.\"\n\nHe then looked back at them. \"Dismissed.\"\n\nThe bison bowed, then turned around as the guards escorted them.\n\nIf only the exit were not paved with thorns and venom.\n\n* * *\n\nIt was barely 9, but people were already busy on the streets. Tom walked close to the buildings, trying to blend in. The coat he was wearing was thick and its hood covered his head, casting a shadow over his face. He looked intimidating, which was good because people wouldn't come close to him.\n\nGreat, he was going to spend the winter holiday and new year alone with only one eye functioning. Max and Octo left a week ago, while Martin and Lucy were leaving today. Even Kevin went back home. Next week was the last week of the year; he wished the shops were still open.\n\nHe noticed someone staring at him, but he ignored it. Stares were normal if he looked like this anyway. Back to the road like old times, he guessed.\n\n_\"Someone's staring.\"_\n\nTom put his hands in his pockets. _\"__I noticed. I can't figure out who is it.\"_\n\n_\"Me neither.\"_His ear flicked. _\"It's pretty far from here.\"_\n\nHe sighed and curled his tail closer to his body. _\"Lain, keep looking out for them.\"_\n\n_\"Will do.\"_\n\nDespite the constant stare he was feeling, he kept walking. Maybe someone was just curious about him; maybe the stare was not harmful and they were just wondering about his thick coat and the way it covered his face.\n\nHe had to think positively, lest his fur bristle.\n\nOkay, think about Max. Max was nice. Max was big. Max was friendly. Max was warm. He kept his gaze low as he crossed the road, imagining that Max was beside him and playing his phone instead. Yes, that would do.\n\nHe took a turn in an intersection, and his posture lessened a little. The stare was gone.\n\n_\"They're gone.\"_\n\n_\"Good.\"_\n\nTom pulled his phone from his pocket. It was 9, and the city was bustling in winter. Despite the piles of snow almost everywhere, people were walking here and there minding their own business. Some of the shops had already been closed.\n\nLooking up at a sign, he silently sighed in relief when the optics shop was near. He had no idea where could he get an eyepatch other than the optics shop. Probably it was also available in general accessories, but he was afraid it would be too crowded.\n\nHe opened the door to the shop when he thought it was safe. There were several customers there. He ignored them and walked inside where a shopkeeper greeted him.\n\n\"Good day! Is there anything we could he--\"\n\nThe shopkeeper's words were cut when he looked up, looking at him with wide eyes. The wolf could see the shock on the other's face. He narrowed his eyes in defence as the shopkeeper stared at his eye.\n\n\"I need eyepatches.\"\n\n\"R-right.\" She was snapped from staring at his eye. \"Over here.\"\n\nHe followed her, ignoring the stares he was getting from the other customers.\n\n\"What happened to you, i-if you don't mind me asking?\" she tried to start a conversation as she looked for the eyepatches.\n\nTom leant on the table. He didn't want to be frightening, but he thought his previous expression already gave it away. \"Long story. Let's just say I got punched in the eye.\"\n\n\"Must be a fight.\"\n\n\"You have no idea.\" He replied.\n\n\"Here they are.\" She put several eyepatches on the table, ranging from fashionable to plain ones. \"We don't have many, though.\"\n\n\"It's fine.\" Tom picked the plain white one. He didn't want to attract attention, so the other ones were noes. \"How much does this one cost?\"\n\n\"That one costs a quarter. This one costs half each.\"\n\nThe wolf looked to where she was pointing. That one seemed better, but the colour was too bright. \"I'll take the white one, four of them.\"\n\n\"Right away.\" She took more of it and put them in front of him. \"That would be one euro. Do you want to wear one now?\"\n\nHe narrowed his eyes again, and she took a step back with a forced smile.\n\nWhatever. Tom took one and pulled his hood down. He then put the eyepatch on to cover his red eye and looked at the mirror on the wall.\n\nHe looked... defeated.\n\nThe wolf let out a sigh and handed her the money. \"Thanks a lot.\" he said as he took the remaining eyepatches and walked away, fully aware of the whispers behind his back without Lain needing to tell him.\n\nThe wolf only flattened his ears and waved his tail as he opened the door, and the whispers stopped. He gave a small sigh, then exited the shop with the door softly clicked behind him.\n\n* * *\n\nMax walked to his home, gripping his head. Sometimes, he wasn't quite bright in life decision stuff, he admitted, but he met some of his high school friends; leaving early would seem rude. He didn't plan to stay up until this late, but it happened.\n\nHe took his phone from his pocket as he crushed the snow under his feet. Maybe he shouldn't go home by himself since he felt like falling any minute. He tapped his brother's contact and gave it a call. No answer, maybe he'd already been asleep.\n\nTom was several provinces away, unfortunately, so he couldn't just call him to pick him up. Ugh, it had only been two weeks and he missed the wolf already. Christmas just didn't feel quite right without him. Heck, he felt kind of empty without him. Best friends really stuck together, huh?\n\nHe wondered, did Tom celebrate Christmas? He wanted to say Merry Christmas to him last year, but the wolf didn't seem to partake in it.\n\nEhh, set the deep stuff aside for later. Better concentrate on the road and the direction for now.\n\nThe dog finally arrived at his home. He stumbled with the keys, but then unlocked it and went inside after a bit of difficulty. The lamps were off, but he could hear the television in the living room.\n\nHe took his coat off and put it on the hanger, shaking his body to get the remaining snow off. When he saw the snow all over the door, he realised it wasn't the correct decision.\n\n\"Hans, you there?\" he said, maybe his brother was in the living room. There was only a grunt as a reply.\n\nMax walked to the living room. Hans was sitting on the couch, watching the TV. He noticed there was a keyboard on the table, so maybe the older dog was hooking his laptop to the television.\n\nHis older brother looked up when he entered, an amused smile on his face. \"I remember telling you to get home before 10.\"\n\n\"Fuck off.\" Max said as he lay down next to him. \"You didn't pick up my call.\"\n\n\"I left my phone in my room.\"\n\nMax just grunted.\n\n\"You didn't drink, did you, Rob?\"\n\n\"I didn't drink.\"\n\n\"Good.\" Hans just laughed and ruffled Max's head fur on his thigh. \"Don't sleep on the couch, dumbass.\"\n\n\"I sleep wherever I want.\"\n\n\"Yeah, sure. Totally believe that.\"\n\nMax opened his eyes and glared at his brother, who just shrugged and went back to watching.\n\nIt was late in the night. There was no sound other than the television and occasional laughter Hans made. Max almost drifted to sleep if it wasn't for Hans asking him. \"When are you graduating?\"\n\n\"Next year.\" He simply replied.\n\n\"If things go smoothly unlike last time?\"\n\n\"At least I have college while you're just rusting over here.\"\n\nThe darker-furred dog pushed his snout away. \"I have a job, you know.\"\n\n\"What were you doing when you _didn't_ have a job?\"\n\n\"Duh. I took care of 'lil sis, you, _and_ had college.\" Hans grinned playfully. \"It's not my fault I graduated before you.\"\n\nMax just frowned and looked away.\n\nAmused at his little brother's reaction, Hans wrestled him on the sofa, making Max jolt awake and yell. \"Good thing I'm the older one, heh?\"\n\n\"Ack--get off!\"\n\nHe then released him and sat back down with Max lying hopelessly next to him on the sofa. \"Shit, you stink.\"\n\nThe younger dog just grunted and rolled to his side.\n\n\"Good thing you been working out over there.\" said Hans as he gripped Max's arms and back.\n\n\"Still love my muscles, thank you.\"\n\n\"How many girls did you do since we last met?\"\n\n\"Dunno. Didn't count.\"\n\nHans laughed.\n\n\"How many did _you_do?\" Max asked him back.\n\n\"Didn't count either.\"\n\nMax chuckled. \"Does dad know?\"\n\n\"Don't act like you never heard dad's crazy stories when he was young.\"\n\nThey laughed.\n\n\"Hey, dude, wanna work out together tomorrow?\"\n\n\"Sure, but the gym's probably closed tomorrow.\"\n\n\"Right, it's Christmas.\"\n\nThey fell into a comfortable silence after that. Max put his head on Hans' thigh, feeling like drifting to sleep. Of course, his brother didn't allow him to slip so easily. He rolled him over so that he was lying on his back. Max wanted to glare at him, but he ended up just staring at the ceiling wondering why did he have him as his brother.\n\nProbably he should be thankful instead. Many of his friends told him that they didn't get along well with their older brothers, while here he was, snuggling with him. Hans was supportive, nice, and really, a well-meaning arsehole in his opinion. They often gang up together just to annoy their little sister, much to their parents' dismay.\n\nHe should be thankful. Then, he should be annoyed. Especially now as Hans poked his nose just for the sake of poking his nose.\n\n\"Get to bed, don't sleep here.\" The older dog said with an easy smile. \"Trust me, sleeping on the couch isn't something you want to do.\"\n\n\"Already did that often enough.\" Max let out a sigh and sat up. \"Let's get to sleep already. What the hell are you watching this late, anyway?\"\n\n\"Eh, nothing in particular.\"\n\n\"Let's just get to bed.\" he stood up, stretching his arms and yawned.\n\nThat bastard just grinned at him. \"Miss snuggling with me already?\"\n\nMax kicked his foot, earning a laugh. \"Yes, now get the fuck upstairs!\"\n\nSometimes, he wondered why did they still do stuff together. While their parents were happy that they got along well even until now, they were full-grown adults with opposing interests and different opinions. Maybe it was because they were brothers, but that didn't explain why they still slept together sometimes--literally just sleep together, he still had his mind intact. It wasn't often anymore after Hans had his first wet dream, but still.\n\nBesides, people tended to have a hard time telling them apart. Perhaps despite their differences, they were really similar in posture and character, and the fact that Hans' fur was just several degrees darker than him might confuse people.\n\n\"You wanna sleep in my room or yours?\"\n\nMax took his shirt off and straightened his t-shirt underneath. \"Who says we're sleeping together?\"\n\n\"I'll just head back to my--\"\n\n\"Okay, okay! Mine if you want.\"\n\nHans just laughed and shoved him playfully. \"You're gonna wake everyone up like that.\"\n\nThe moment Max opened his bedroom door, he launched himself to the bed, feeling glad that he had something soft to sleep on. He moaned into the pillow, wanting to take his jeans off but too lazy to do so.\n\nHowever, his phone vibrated. He groaned and rolled over to his back. Ugh, just when he was about to sleep.\n\n\"Gotta say good night first, heh?\" Hans grinned at him and lay next to him.\n\nMax just hmph'ed and took his jeans off, taking his phone from his pocket in the meantime. There was a notification from his Chirper about a trending chirp.\n\nHe almost threw his phone at the useless notification. He'd been doing some digital detox Tom taught him but some of the notifications were still haunting him.\n\nSpeaking of Tom,\n\nThe dog put a pillow under his head and wrote a text to Tom, kind of wishing he could call him instead. It was late in the night; he knew he shouldn't contact the wolf now but he couldn't help it. He typed _\"Dude u asleep yet?\"_ and put his phone down.\n\nThe reply came not long after. _Tom Luis: \"Couldn't sleep nih, headache. I've taken the pill, though. Why aren't you asleep?\"_\n\n\"Is she asleep?\" his brother asked next to him with a teasing tone. \"You weren't asking her for some titpics, right?\"\n\nMax just glared at him. \"Just go sleep already. And stop wagging your tail!\"\n\nHans laughed again and pulled the blanket over them.\n\n_\"Met some old friends earlier and super tired but can't sleep\"_ He stared at his text. Well, he _could_ sleep, really, but, uh... _\"You wanna vidcall?\"_\n\nThat sounded like he was desperately missing him, didn't it? He wanted to retract the message, but Tom had already seen it. Well, he was doomed.\n\n_Tom Luis: \"Sorry, I'd like to but not right now. My head is spinning. I'm dictating my messages to you right now by the way.\"_\n\nHe let out a sigh at that, feeling relieved that Tom wasn't taking him as a creep. _\"Eh, that's fine. You drank too much?\"_\n\n_Tom Luis: \"No not drinking. This juice kind of happens sometimes.__\"_\n\n_Tom Luis: \"\\*just\"_\n\n_Tom Luis: \"Dammit how the f\\*\\*\\* can text to speech have typos?\"_\n\nUh... how could he reply to that message?\n\nBefore he could type a reply, a voice message came through. He played it as he pulled the blanket. _\"Y'know, you can just send some voice messages if you want to speak.\"_ followed by a small but tired chuckle.\n\nThat made Max chuckle along. Tom's voice always sounded right; he always sounded calming.\n\nHe tapped the record message button. \"Maybe I just wanna hear your voice before I sleep.\" That sounded cheesy but whatever, it wasn't like they had never said shits like that anyway.\n\nMax felt some vibrations, and he whacked Hans' arse when he realised that his brother was laughing silently.\n\n_\"Talk dirty to me.\"_ Even through the voice, he could hear the playful smile on the wolf's face.\n\nMax calmed himself from laughing, then tapped the record button. \"In the toilet, a dirt-covered Kevin is washing his socks and shoes with mud.\"\n\nThis time Hans laughed quite loudly. Max pulled his tail, \"Shut up, bro!\"\n\n\"I don't know if you're that clueless or if you're just playing along.\" Hans said, turning around to face him with that stupid grin.\n\nMax rolled his eyes.\n\nAnother message came, this time accompanied by a breathless laugh. _\"I'm not sure if you really mean to put Kevin as dirty.\"_\n\nHans' expression turned curious. He shifted closer to Max to better hear the message. \"Max, it's a guy?\"\n\nThe younger dog just moved away. \"Get off! You just said I stink.\"\n\n\"Max, really, it's a guy?\"\n\nHe sighed a bit. \"Yeah, it's a guy, which is why we're not sexting like you and Jennie yesterday.\" Hans' ears went down a bit. \"Anyway, where's Jennie?\"\n\n\"Don't talk about Jennie.\" The older dog groaned and lay on his back.\n\nMax grinned. \"Kevin is dirty. Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. Good night.\"\n\n_\"Night. Dream of me. Eh no don't dream of me lest my ears get warm.\"_\n\nThe dog laughed at the remark and put his phone on the nightstand. He then turned and snuggled himself next to his brother. \"Cold night, yeah, bro?\"\n\nHans didn't move, just staring at the ceiling. \"Why did you have to mention Jennie?\"\n\nMax pushed his snout away, earning a weak groan. \"Cheer up, at least I'm here to warm you up from cold heartless women like her.\"\n\nThat made his brother huff a little with a smile. \"You really are a terrible bundle of shit, aren't you?\"\n\nMax looked at him, then released his hold and turned his back to him. \"I take that back, go warm yourself.\"\n\n\"Oh, come on, I need some warmth!\"\n\n\"Go cuddle with her instead.\"\n\n\"I'd cuddle with her but you're the one who's here.\"\n\n\"That's fuckin' disgusting!\"\n\n\"I'm more disgusting than you!\"\n\nThey went quiet to take in the words he just said.\n\nMax then laughed as Hans quickly corrected his own words. \"Wait, fuck no! _You're_ more disgusting than me!\"\n\nEventually, they drifted to sleep while lying shoulder to shoulder under the blanket.\n\n* * *\n\n_I want to have Hans as my brother ;\\_:_\n\n_Maybe their interaction is too much as brothers but it's the reason Max doesn't feel too put off being touchy-feely with Tom. He's already used to being touchy with dudes... er, his brother._\n\n_Fun fact: once, Max cuddled Octo in his sleep in a hotel room after a match, leaving the panther clueless, confused, and turned on._\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Reaching for the Stars","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1687552-reaching-for-the-stars-chapter-33-lone-wolf.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1691913-reaching-for-the-stars-chapter-35-new-year-cold.json"}}