{"sf1_id":1705625,"sf2_id":"dmW0zEnb","title":"Ballade Against Cheesemongery","author":"Rob MacWolf","words":197,"posted_at":"2021-04-11T18:14:00.000Z","tags":["Ballade","Cheese","Poetry"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1705625-ballade-against-cheesemongery","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/dmW0zEnb","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/36/bb/36bba902-685b-49a9-bfe1-89a32795fa94","description":"#29 of poetry\n\nOne of the things I love about the Ballade, as a form, is that it's equally adaptable to jokes as to serious poetry.","content":"The grocer's, for $6.95 per pound  \nHarvarti sells, in blocks of creamy beige  \nBespeckled with unthinkables (well ground  \nOr crushed) like nuts, or wine, or sage  \nAnd rosemary. At this I briefly rage  \nThen pass it o'er for cheap varieties  \nMy unsophistic hungers to assuage.  \nI do desire no vanity in cheese.\n\nI go, and madness does not fall behind:  \nIn tubs on frigid shelves they sell a paste  \nFlavored with cherries, or with garlic rind,  \nOr bacon. And withal there goes to waste  \nThe sweetest cream that e'er Galthea placed  \nBetween pastoral palms of devotees  \nIn Arcady, whose name is here disgraced,  \nAnd did desire no vanity in cheese.\n\nAnd lo! What woe behold I though I rail  \nAgainst whatever fiend devised this thing  \nCalled Pepperjack, to make the righteous quail  \nWith wax to mock and capsicum to sting!  \nMy muse fails, and I can no longer sing  \nUpon this sacrilege! The poet flees.  \n(He snatches Mozzeralla on the wing,  \nFor he desires no vanity in cheese.)\n\nPrince, you sent me pepper-corned Edam  \nWith citron-oil essence. Remove it please:  \nIts power to sour my gut, your soul to damn!  \nI do desire no vanity in cheese.\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1705623-ballade-of-the-recently-dispossessed.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1705633-haunted-ballade.json"}}