{"sf1_id":1743272,"sf2_id":"ynZPNMeY","title":"Portrait of a Lonely Wolf","author":"Rob MacWolf","words":461,"posted_at":"2021-07-22T01:09:00.000Z","tags":["Fanfiction","Iambic pentameter","Poetry","blank verse","echo","leo","sonnet"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1743272-portrait-of-a-lonely-wolf","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/ynZPNMeY","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/e2/79/e279b0cc-f3a2-4d00-ab6c-181b948d0a45","description":"#42 of poetry\n\nIt pains me to have to say this, but necessity is necessity: the fact that I have written something empathizing with and expanding on the point of view of a particular character does not constitute moral approval of all of that character's (fictional!) actions, nor should be it be taken as condemnation of another character, because why on earth would it?!","content":"For every day, somebody else has left.\n\nFor every day, another empty house.  \nFor every day is closer to the day  \nWhen he will be the only one still here.  \nThe only one to never find a way  \nTo any other place. His road goes but  \nIn circles. And he has nothing but time  \nIn incremental, identical days.  \nFor every day he wakes. He sates the need  \nBetween his knees. He weeps where none will hear.  \nHe washes, lest some guess that he does not.  \nFor every day he takes himself to work  \nFor pay with no more purpose: it cannot  \nBuy his way out, buy anybody back.  \nFor every day he then returns alone.\n\nHe goes nowhere but home again. Why would  \nHe go anywhere else? There is nowhere,  \nNor is there anyone to go with him.  \nFor every day he eats and does not taste.  \nHe used to drink. But alcohol undoes  \nThe numbness he is long reliant on.\n\nAnd every night he lies awake in bed\n\nAnd fears, each day a little more, that he  \nHas heard \"I love you\" for the final time.  \nThe family he loved are all long gone.  \nHe cannot join them, cannot have them back.\n\nOf course, when he was younger, he'd pretend.\n\nThat he was not alone. Then would he tell\n\nHimself some story of eternal love\n\nNot epic or heroic. Quite mundane:\n\nThat someone was beside him,\u0026nbsp;that someone\n\nTook care of him from day to day,\u0026nbsp;someone\n\nCould hear the words of casual love that he\n\nWould whisper in spare moments,\u0026nbsp;that his house\n\nWas not empty,\u0026nbsp;that his pillow was one\n\nWho shared his bed, as still his memory\n\nInsists somebody once was glad to do,\n\nWhen his arms were around them.  \n\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\n\n\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;But all that\n\nWent sour, went sordid,\u0026nbsp;turned to mocking dread\n\nWhen forced to face the facts outside his head...\n\n...so he no more permits himself to dream\n\nAs once he had, when young.\u0026nbsp;And ignorant.\n\nIf there were only someone by his side--\n\nHis hand reaches to search the empty space\n\nBeside him on the mattress--who would care\n\nThat every day somebody else has left?\n\nThat every day another empty house?\n\nThat soon would come the day of only two\n\nInhabitants remaining in the town?\n\nWhat need has he for anybody else?\n\n'Would have,' he means, or 'would have had,' perhaps.\n\nFor he has nothing now, nor ever will.\n\nFor every day, here, there is nothing left.\n\nExcept for him. And he no longer counts.\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1739353-either-your-god-hates-me-or-your-religion-doesn-t-work.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1746779-saturday-dedicated-to-the-god-of-cycles-of-violence-and-revenge-who-devours-his-children-but-also-of-harvest-and-the-lost-golden-age.json"}}