# Loona's New Friend Author: MoaBoa Tags: Anthro, Green text, Greentext, HMOFA, Human, Human/anthro, M/F, WIP, hellhound Loona is invited to a party by Vortex at his girlfriend's house where she finds a possible new friend. Though it's clear to all around that this new friend of hers is not your typical resident of Hell. \>be Loona \>get invited by Vortex to his girlfriends house party on the Pride ring \>looks like he was serious about helping me make some friends \>never been to this part of Hell before \>actually a really nice neighborhood \>double check the address he sent me \>this is definitely the place \>as I walk up the steps to his door, the sound of drunken demons and dance music gets louder \>nervous to see Vortex again \>last time I saw him I acted like an awkward spaz \>well, I've come this far \>why stop now? \>knock on the door \>hear someone inside shout out to someone that I'm at the door \>after a minute of waiting, the door finally opens \>instead of Vortex like I was expecting, standing there is a short, plump and obviously drunk sheep demon girl \>"Yo, Wassup! Need something, puppy?" \>I'm caught off guard by the puppy comment so it takes me a moment to respond \>"Umm, hey. I'm here for the party. I was invited by Vortex, can I come in?" \>"Oh! You know Tex? On sec!" \>she suddenly spins around and shouts at the top of her lungs "EY TEX, COME TO THE DOOR!" \>a moment later she waving at someone out of sight \>when Vortex arrives and spots me, he gives me a small smile and a nod \>"Heeey, Loona. Glad you could make it. This is my girlfriend, La'Kisha." \>seriously? \>THIS is his girlfriend? \>"H-hey Tex! Thanks for inviting me." \>shit, I don't want to look rude \>turn to the sheep \>"...Hello, how's it going?" \>shes too drunk to detect any possible hostility \>"Hello!" she says in a sweet tone \>"Babe, this is Loona, a friend from work. I said I'd help her make some friends so I invited her to the party." Vortex says \>before I could get a word in and introduce myself, the sheep girl speaks \>"Aww, that's so sweet, baby! Welcome to the party Loona! Nice to meet you! \>"I'm going to go back to getting fucked up. If either of you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen. Have fun!" \>she saunters off to the kitchen, leaving Vortex and me alone \>Vortex chuckles as he watches her leave before looking back my way \>"Well, come in. I'll introduce you to some cool people I know." \>he waves me inside and leads me into the living room \>holy shit there are a lot of people here \>I make a quick scan across the room \>there's all sorts here \>Imps, Sinners, a human, Hellhounds, a couple of Succubi \>wait a minute \>back the fuck up \>a human? \>look back and there is in fact a human guy just chilling on a couch \>his feet kicked up onto a coffee table \>a coffee table covered in drugs of all kinds \>all neatly organized in a fashion similar to what you'd see at a flea market \>why is there just some random, normal looking human in Hell? \>maybe it's just a disguise \>but why the fuck would someone be wearing a human disguise down here? \>decide to ask Vortex about him \>"Hey Tex, what's the deal with that guy in the human disguise?" \>"Huh? Oh, him. Funny story, actually!" \>"You should ask him!" \>before I have a chance to object, he's already pushing me toward the couch with me stammering the whole way \>get a good look at him \>very tall for a human, probably slightly taller than me but shorter than Vortex \>kind of lanky \>shaggy medium length black hair \>wearing one of those leather jacket/hoodie combos, jeans, heavy work boots \>he's actually kind of cute \>he notices us just as we get to him \>"Tex, my guy. Watcha need?" \>he gets up off the couch and gives Vortex a broish hand shake \>he gives me a quick nod \>"Who's this?" \>"Hey, bro. This is Loona, a friend of mine. She had a question for you." \>he grins at me \>"Oh? Is that right?" \>just then, a familiar voice could be heard shouting from the other side of the house over the music \>"BABE! HELP ME MIX THIS DRINK, I'M STRUGGLING!" \>Vortex laughs and gives me a pat on the back \>"Well, duty calls. I'll be around later." \>he walks off towards the voice of his girlfriend \>call out to him as he leaves \>"Okay cool, l-later Tex!" \>the guy sits back down and gets comfortable then motions for me do the same \>as I sit, I blurt out a greeting \>"So, umm. Hey..." \>"Sup. So, what's your question, Loona?" \>"Umm, okay. I wanted to asks what's up with the Human disguise. Seem pretty stupid to single yourself out like that." \>he throws his head back and laughs \>"Ha! Fuckin' knew that what you'd ask. It's always either that or "Can you hook me up?" \>"Well, to answer your question, it's not a disguise. I'm human." \>bullshit, this guy is messing with me \>"Bullshit, you're fucking with me!" I shout \>"I bullshit you not. I'm as human as tax evasion, no word of a lie." he replies \>"Then how are you here? If you died, you would of been turned into a sinner demon." I retort \>"I didn't die and wake up here. I was kicked through a portal." \>shit, I suppose that makes sense \>there was that one asshole kid that Blitzo brought back \>the kid that Blitzo killed \>and I helped dispose the body of \>probably shouldn't bring that up \>"Kicked through a portal? By who?" \>just as he was about to reply, a scrawny imp shuffles up \>"Hehe hey dude, any chance I could get some Molly?" \>"I'm in the middle of a conversation, red dick. Fuck off and come back later." \>"Aww come on, pleeeease? I'm trying to impress th-" \>"Do I look like I care, cunt?" \>the imp gets a desperate look on his face \>"I'll pay extra!" \>the human seems to consider this for a second then looks at me \>"You mind?" \>"Uh, it's cool. Do your thing, dude." I say to him \>the human and the imp have a back and forth using drug terminology I don't really understand \>he then grabs one of the bottles of pills on coffee table and puts three colorful little pills into a tiny plastic container \>the imp hands him a wad of money and the human makes the motion of handing the imp his drugs but pulls back \>"Go get us a six pack from the kitchen, then you get your drugs." \>without any self-respect or hesitation, the imp bolts off towards the kitchen \>he's only gone for no more than 12 seconds with a six pack of beer in hand \>"Here you go! Drugs now, please?" \>the human tosses the imp the little plastic box with the pills in it \>"There's a good man. Enjoy!" \>the imp clutches his prize and scuttles off upstairs \>with that taken care of, he reaches for the six pack \>he takes two bottles of Wicked Hot Slash Imports and hands me one \>free beer, fuck yes \>we both crack them open \>he takes a quick sip from his bottle while I down almost all of mine \>he gives me an amused look and gently kicks the other beers to my side of the coffee table \>"Right then, so what was it I was talkin' about?" \>"You were telling me how you got kicked through a portal to Hell?" \>"Ahh, right you are. Well..." \>he readjusts his sitting position and scoots closer to me \>"Back when I lived on Earth I had a partner named Carlito." \>"He was in charge of finances and all that stuff. Real smart guy. Good with numbers." \>"When we first started workin' together we were best friends. On top of the fucking world." \>"Problems started when he got into the heavy shit. It fucked his mind up and he went all schizo on me." \>"He thought I was planning on backstabbing him or something. Of course I wasn't, but crack does that to you." \>"Then he started getting into all that weird occult stuff. Most of it was total horseshit but some of it was legit, apparently." \>"Long story short. He got me drunk one night, somehow opened a portal to here and kicked me through." \>woah, that's a lot to take in \>with his story finished he takes a sip from his beer, shakes his head and laughs \>"Heh, crazy fucker." \>I tilt my head in confusion \>"You don't... seem all that upset about being sent here." \>he almost seems confused at my comment \>"What? Nah. Why would I be? This place is fucking sick. I love it here!" \>"Really? Why?" I reply \>"Everyone's a druggie, loads of interesting people, there's always wacky shit happening and the DEA has no jurisdiction here." \>"This fuckin' place is a paradise." \>he makes a good point \>most of the Sinner Demons seem to like it here in Hell \>"So you don't miss Earth at all?" \>"Fuck no! Well... Kind of. I do miss my dog." \>he's a dog person? \>... \>nice \>"O-oh, you had a dog? Tell me about them." \>he take another sip and signs \>"Yeah, she was a Pittie. Had her since I was 17. Named her Princess." \>nearly spit out some of the beer I was drinking from laughing when I heard the name \>"Seriously, dude? Princess?" \>"Oh, fuck off." he retorts \>"It's a good name!" \>"Sure it is. For a chihuahua or something." I say \>"Pfft, whatever. Thought was funny to give a killer a cute name so I went with Princess." \>wait, killer? \>"Back up! Did "Princess" kill someone?" \>he smirks to himself while staring at the ceiling \>"Yep. Took her for a walk one night shortly after adopting her. Still haven't named her at that point, mind you." \>"Then some heroin addict tried to mug me and she tore his fuckin' throat out." \>"Was a sight to see." \>damn, that's hardcore \>still a shit name, though \>"Holy shit, that's nuts. Sounds like she was pretty protective of you." \>"Yeah. She was a good dog. Like a gun that loved you back..." \>he take a swig of his beer and lapses into silence \>shit, he sounds bummed out \>probably should change the subject \>"So umm... What's it like being a drug dealer?" I ask \>"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I like it well enough, I guess." \>"Get invited to lots of parties, get to meet celebrities." \>"Not to mention I make loadsa money." \>then he gives me a curious look \>"What do you do work?" \>fuck \>should I lie?  \>I can't imagine he'll be cool with knowing I work for a company that murders people in the human world \>Or maybe he would be \>he doesn't really strike me as a beacon of morality \>"Alright. Every hear of I.M.P?" I say to him \>"Imp? That sounds weirdly familiar..." he muses \>"I think I fell asleep to a commercial that played for hours that was about a company called I.M.P." \>"It had a really catchy but annoying jingle that was stuck in my head for weeks." \>"Don't remember what they sold, though." \>bring up a picture of the company logo and show it to him \>"Yeah, that one. I.M.P stands for "Immediate Murder Professionals." \>"We get payed by Sinners to go to the human world and get revenge for them." \>his face lights up \>"No fuckin' way. That's so sick! So you're like an assassin or somethin'?" \>"No, nothing like that. I just answer the phones and act as dispatch when they're on a job." I say \>"But sometimes I go up there to help them with stuff up there." \>he nods \>"Ooooh okay. That's still pretty cool." \>"How would I go about hiring you guys?" \>oh shit, wasn't expecting him to be THAT cool with it \>"Wait, really? You want to hire us? Why?" \>"To kill my ex-partner, Carlito." he answers \>I raise an eyebrow \>"I thought you didn't care that he sent you to Hell." \>"I don't really mind it, no. It's more of a matter of honor, I suppose. He fucked me over, so I'll fuck him over right back." he replies \>"In the case, I could talk to my d- um, my boss Blitz and see about getting you an appointment." I tell him \>"Ha, Fuck yeah! Sounds like a plan." \>now's my chance \>"Great. So... I think maybe we should give each other our numbers." \>"So I can let you know you know when you can come in and talk to my boss!" \>he takes out his phone \>"Right right. Here." \>we exchange numbers and call each other just to make sure \>"Cool. Can't wait to meet your boss. Never met a hitman before." \>I'm looking at his number on my phone when I realize something \>"Wait! You haven't told me your name yet." \>he looks surprised \>"I haven't? Well fuck, I guess I haven't." \>"It's Ricky." \>yeah, he would have a name like Ricky \>after that we shoot the shit for the next couple of hours \>every now and again other party goers would buy drugs off him \>after some time, Vortex and his pet sheep joined us in the living room \>bringing liquor and mixers with them \>things start getting fuzzy after they arrived \>Ricky and Tex are telling me the story of how they meet but I'm too far gone to really keep up \>and then I blacked out --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \>be Ricky, drug slinging scumbag and proud of it \>be at a house party hosted by my friend Vortex \>shooting the shit with a Hellhound chick that Tex introduced me to named Loona \>she's kind of bitchy (pun intended) and rude at times \>which is good, I like women with a bit of fire in them \>I get the feeling that she hasn't had many chances to make friends \>she's fun to talk to though \>she's been knocking back those beers for the last two hours now \>Loona is officially fucking wasted \>she's got a stupid grin on her face and she's swaying back and forth \>I'm telling her the story of how me and Tex got acquainted \>just as I'm getting to the really juicy bit my phone goes off \>"Fuck sakes. One sec, guys." \>excuse myself and answer the call in a mostly vacant hallway \>Vortex nods in understanding and starts leading the conversation in my absence \>"Ricky here, who's this?" I say into the phone \>"Boss, we gotta problem." \>recognize the Polynesian accent over the phone \>one of my "workers" \>in my inebriated state it takes me a second to try and remember who I'm speaking to \>a giant bird Sinner demon named Tui \>out of all my Hellish workers he's been with me the longest, usually acting as an enforcer or bodyguard \>"Ahh, right. Hey Tui. Listen, I'm busy right now. Can this wait till later?" I ask  \>"Aww yeah nah, Boss. I caught Dingo stealing some merchandise." \>fucking great, just what I wanted to hear \>I'm drawing a blank on the name "Dingo", as well \>"Whatever, fine. Smack the thief around a bit, take it out of his pay and get him back to work. I really don't care right now, man." I say \>"No, listen boss. You don't understand. He tried to take ALOT, bro'." \>A lot? \>"Hold on, the fuck do you mean by "A lot?" I asked, anger starting to bleed into my voice \>"Me and the boys caught him trying to hand off a whole shipment to some of our rivals." \>hearing this, I just about shout into phone \>"WHA- WHO THE FU- What!? Why the shit are you talking to me for?! Jesus Christ, get my fucking drugs back!" \>"Hey, Hey! Boss, calm down! It's no worries, I took care of it. The shipments right here." he replies \>"I got Dingo tied up here at the warehouse on Agares street, as well. Thought you'd want a chat with the little fucka." \>take a moment to calm down \>"Ahh... Right then. Good shit, Tui. You were right to call me." \>try to remember where Agares Street is \>it takes me a couple of seconds, but I remember that it's on the Pride Ring \>it's a bit far from the Vortex's girlfriends house, if I'm remembering correctly \>"Yeah, I'm actually on the Pride Ring right now, should be there soon." \>Tui says goodbye and hangs up \>head back into the living room \>see that most of the party goers have staggered off home now, though there are some stragglers \>find Tex and La'Kisha talking about personal shit, all while Loona is splayed out on the couch nursing a mixed drink \>she's seems in her own world at the moment \>noticing me, Tex speaks up \>"Hey. Everyone good, bro? We could hear you from here." \>"Yeah, all good, man. Just some work shit. Gonna need to call it for tonight, though. Somethings come up." I reply \>looking around at the mostly empty living room, Tex nods \>"No problem, Ricky. See you around."  \>collect the few left over narcotics on the coffee table \>take a look at the absolutely intoxicated Hellhound on the couch \>"Loona, I'll see you around! Remember to talk to your boss for me!" I shout to her \>"Huhhhh... Buh Byeeeee~" she slurs \>Hell, she's really out of it \>"Tex, can you make sure this fucking drunk gets home safe?" I say \>hearing this, the Hellhound in question pushes herself up \>"H-hey, fu-\*hiccup\*-ck you!" \>"Haha, yeah bro. I barely had anything to drink, so I'm still good to drive. We'll take her back home in a little bit." he says \>"Yeah, Puppy can count on us!" La'Kisha interjects \>thank the smol Sheep demon for the party, give Tex a fist bump and head out \>quickly find my car out on the street and hop in \>start driving towards Agares Street \>the drive is dull and uneventful, leaving my mind to wander \>start getting progressively more pissed off \>I try to treat my workers good, pay them well \>and this is how this "Dingo" fella repays me? With a knife in the back? \>maybe I'm just too trusting \>trusting Carlito is the reason I'm down here \>hopefully these "Immediate Murder Professionals" guys can fix that little issue for me \>drive the rest of the way white knuckling the steering wheel \>whoever this Dingo cunt is, he's going to regret trying to fuck me over Source: https://sofurry.com/s/B1QZqwEe