{"sf1_id":1794750,"sf2_id":"zeRzEpYe","title":"Poem: For My Mom","author":"zetasyanthis","words":215,"posted_at":"2021-12-11T17:50:00.000Z","tags":["Depression","Invalidation","Poem","Suicide"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1794750-poem-for-my-mom","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/zeRzEpYe","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/8d/d6/8dd6d7db-dd8b-4f10-825e-aa5b98dd38b1","description":"#1 of 2021 Mental Health Crisis\n\nA sad poem about the damage my mom has done. CW: Suicidal imagery.\n(And yes, I'm safe and getting help. Actually posting this from Sierra Tucson of all places.)","content":"CW for suicidal imagery.\n\n--------------------------------------------------\n\nI know people crying, weeping.  \nI know people, dying, same.  \nI know people with my faces.  \nI know people with my names.\n\nShould I weep for silence loudly,  \nShould I cry for hopeless depths,  \nShould I die on worlds so lonely,  \nthat I choke on my last breath.\n\nShould I die by silence, weeping,  \nShould I die because of plans,  \nShould I die by endless bleeding,  \nI will die by my own hands.\n\nI will die in brutal terror.  \nI will die in trauma, deep.  \nI will die in frantic heartbeats,  \nsurging crimson, bloody creek.\n\nAs I weep inside for pleasure,  \nAs I weep for blessed death,  \nI will weep for sex so sick and sweet,  \nit fin'lly gives me rest.\n\nI'll die in brutal terror.  \nI'll die in deep despair.  \nI'll die forever hopeless.  \nI'll die because I care.\n\nI'll die because of hopelessness.  \nI'll die because I dared.  \nI'll die because I hoped and dreamed  \nthat my mom would just care.\n\nI die 'cause she would never see.  \nI die 'cause she refused.  \nI die 'cause she'd not separate?  \nher child from her views.\n\nI die 'cause I felt worthless.  \nI die 'cause I felt used.  \nI die 'cause I felt dead inside.  \nI'm hung from twisted noose.\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"2021 Mental Health Crisis","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1794747-poem-just-now.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1794751-poem-home.json"}}