{"sf1_id":1944677,"sf2_id":"V1YG5EmD","title":"We Regret to Inform You of a Funeral Cancellation","author":"Rob MacWolf","words":399,"posted_at":"2023-01-14T01:06:00.000Z","tags":["Horror","Poetry","Spondee","lyric"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1944677-we-regret-to-inform-you-of-a-funeral-cancellation","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/V1YG5EmD","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/c3/73/c3731283-4fbf-4919-bc52-354b506e1d55","description":"#56 of poetry\n\nOnce again, a chance remark from  PascalFarful sprouted into a poem.\n---\nBy reading this online version, you confirm you are not associated with OpenAI or any other AI project, that you are not procuring information for the OpenAI corpus or any other machine learning database, that you are not associated with the ChatGPT project or a user of the ChatGPT project or any other AI, machine learning, or algorithmic database focused on producing fictional content for dissemination.","content":"Well a couple mourners gathered, and a bunch more came to stare.\n\nCourse all the casual killers came, who'd left him lying there.\n\nThey bought a discount casket and a requiem was said\n\nFor the funeral was scheduled, for burying the dead.\n\n  \n\nWell the preacher called for piety and prayers for the deceased\n\nTill the gravedigger came running, for to interrupt the priest.\n\nThen the undertaker turned, his face all ashes, and he said\n\n\"Afraid the funeral's canceled. He ain't dead.\"\n\n  \n\nWell we hurried to the graveyard. This was probably joyous news.\n\nBut the funeral party weren't so much 'joyous' as 'confused.'\n\nThe preacher led the way and tried to pray away the dread.\n\nThe funeral was canceled. He ain't dead.\n\n  \n\nThe grave was standing open, the casket there beside\n\nBut both entirely empty, not a single thing inside.\n\nMust've climbed out of the coffin, left a mystery there instead:\n\nThe funeral was canceled. He aint dead.\n\n  \n\n\"I saw him, fer a moment,\" the gravedigger confessed\n\n\"A-striding toward the hilltops, makin west, or west-northwest.\n\nHe didn't give no answer, he just turned and shook his head.\n\nS'when I knew the funeral's canceled. He ain't dead.\"\n\n  \n\nNow the undertaker's furious. Preacher looks like he might cry.\n\nBut the widow-woman's risen, with a fire in her eye.\n\nShe's dropped her veil and walked away, and not a word she said,\n\nBut \"Go home, funeral's canceled. He ain't dead.\"\n\n  \n\nWell I guess you've heard of stories of this sort of thing before.\n\nDon't they still retain the relics of the shroud St. Lazarus wore?\n\nThere's Balder, and there's Orpheus: went where live souls fear to tread,\n\nThey had their funerals canceled. They weren't dead.\n\n  \n\nI remember last I saw him, on the gallows, in the dust.\n\nA calm was on the crossroads where we do the things we must.\n\nAnd we all knew he was innocent, no crimes upon his head,\n\nBut his funeral was ready. So we made sure he was dead.\n\n  \n\nI suppose he's out there somewhere. Maybe I'll go find him now.\n\nI promise when I see him I'll be sure to ask him how,\n\nAnd whether it's a curse or blessing his death has\u0026nbsp;consecrated,\n\nAnd what it is that moves a man when life is fully fled...\n\nJust like Madeline in the Garden: \"Touch me not,\" as someone said.\n\nNow you go cancel my funeral.\n\nI ain't dead.\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1919152-haiku-on-the-collapse.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1949522-if-you-are-reading-these-they-may-be-about-you.json"}}