{"sf1_id":1945558,"sf2_id":"4nAZRZ31","title":"\"Chucky\" (Requiem for my mate)","author":"Cris_Fireheart","words":424,"posted_at":"2023-01-16T08:06:09.000Z","tags":["Dark","Death","Depression","Drama","Drugs","Gift","Human","Longing","Love","Mate","Music","Noir","Poetry","Real Life","Reqiuem","Sad","Tragedy","Wolf","anniversary","heroin","life","memory","non-fiction","requiem","wonder"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1945558-chucky-requiem-for-my-mate","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/4nAZRZ31","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/ed/84/ed840976-e922-4694-bf23-bb03848b46b4","description":"I wrote this poem during a particularly depressing night recently. I was curled up in my bed and I couldn't stop thinking about my mate, who passed from this life before we had a chance to fully live it together. . We had each other. We had heroin. And we didn't need the world's consumerism or approval. We just needed US.   \n  \nHe proposed to me in June 2012 shortly after my 22nd birthday by giving me this key. He promised that one day he'd replace it with a ring. Sadly, that day never came. He overdosed on October 16, 2013. I still wear this key around my neck each day. The design on it has two Cs back to back. Our initials. I still kiss it every morning.   \n  \n\"Stay close to me...\"  \n  \nI love you, always.","content":"I'm stuck with a feeling; a pain that I buried,  \nReal deep in my heart.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI can't even sleep, 'cause the memory  \nThreatens to tear me apart.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI'm begging you, please, don't make me relive it;  \nI've suffered enough.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI need a release, so I picked up this pen  \nAnd went and filled my cup  \n  \nI reach for your key on my neck and  \nRemember a time I was loved.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nRemember the heat on my neck every  \nMorning when you would wake up.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nThat feeling of being protected from  \nEverything out in the world.  \n  \nOur lives were better when we could just  \nFace it together, and watch it unfurl.  \n  \nI still remember the day when you  \nWhispered your promise to me.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nGot on your knees and looked  \nRight up at me, smiling so wide  \nAs you held up a key.  \n  \n\"I know how we're living, and no,  \nIt's not perfect, but things will get  \nBetter. I promise; you'll see. \"  \n  \n\"And one of these days, when we're  \nBoth on our feet, I promise I'll get you  \nAn actual ring. \"  \n  \nI still remember that moment;  \nIt gets so emotional,  \nI can remember I cried.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nThen the reality hits me,  \nAnd I can remember  \nThe last time I saw you alive.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nBoth of us went to sleep peacefully,  \nBut only one of us woke up  \nTo open our eyes.  \n  \nTen years of searching for someone  \nTo hold me; in vain, it's just something  \nThat i never find.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nI don't think someone exists,  \nWho can make me feel bliss,  \nLike when it was just you and I.  \n  \nNow, every night, when I climb  \nInto bed all alone, I curl up  \nWith your key and I cry.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nThought about ending it all,  \nPraying that you'll still be  \nWaiting for me in the sky.\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \nSomehow, I can't do it;\n\n  \nI still hear your voice telling  \nMe to calm down, in the  \nBack of my mind.  \n  \nThe strength that you gave me  \nTo stand and be proud,  \nWhile everyone else was  \nStill dragging me down.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nThe way that you played your  \nGuitar on the stage, and could  \nCaptivate anyone just with  \nThe sound.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nAnd now, it's too late, you  \nCan't argue with fate,  \nIt'll fill you with hate, and  \nDrive you to harm.\u0026nbsp;  \n  \nBut there's something to say  \nFor the price I would pay  \nFor that\u0026nbsp;feeling of safety  \nI found in your arms...\n\n----------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nSleep well, my love.\u0026nbsp;You are still my first, my last, and my only one. After you, there have been none...\n\n--Chris (yeah... That's me. )","series":{"name":"Poetry, both old and new","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1926002-death-song-of-the-ceruni.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1945707-a-friday-night-on-main-street.json"}}