{"sf1_id":1951318,"sf2_id":"rn9wR0eD","title":"Lit Fuse","author":"Apatapa","words":5237,"posted_at":"2023-02-01T00:49:00.000Z","tags":["Age Difference","Alcohol","Anal","Biting","Charr","Deep Penetration","Deep Throat","Depression","Domination/Submission","Drunk","Fantasy","Feet","Feline","Fight","Fingering","Gagging","Guild Wars 2","Hook up","M/M","Masochism","Musk","Oral","Public","Rimming","Rough","Size Difference","grope","mental health","sadism"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1951318-lit-fuse","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/rn9wR0eD","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/55/23/55230c37-1ab8-4427-8bca-c9b3abc323b2","description":"CW: Depression, PTSD, brief mention of suicidal ideation\nOtharus has had enough. Tyria has no place for him but still he remains on it, killing time in search of pleasure. But some days are brighter than others and the charr must learn to appreciate that while he still can.","content":"The brandy burned.\n\nI sneered as I gulped it down and slammed my glass on the bar.\n\nI clutched the thick rocks glass in a meaty paw, teeth bared as I begged it to shatter under the pressure.\n\nBut it resisted.\n\nI didn't have the heart to really crush it.\n\nI knew it would hurt, and as ever I was the coward.\n\nThe thought only spurred on my foul mood.\n\nI glanced around, hopeful someone else had noticed.\n\nBut the Serrated Blade Tavern was full to the brim. It was a dinky bar in the busy Canton Factorium, the production district of the Black Citadel.\n\nHere worksman drank to kill the night after a busy day's work while I rotted in their midst.\n\n  \n\nGladium.\n\nI was surrounded by gladium.\n\nI was gladium.\n\nAnd how I resented it.\n\nAlone, no place in a warband.\n\nYet how I craved it.\n\nFor no warband deserved me, save the one I buried in Maguuma under piles of shrapnel and rubble of The Pact's once great fleet.\n\nI drank to remember them.\n\nI drank to forget them.\n\nI drank because it made me foul.\n\nI drank because it made me stupid.\n\nAnd when stupid, I could pretend I was happy for a time.\n\n  \n\nI snarled and tapped my glass twice on the counter in front of me.\u0026nbsp;\n\nThe barkeep hardly glanced my way as she poured me another round of brandy with a heavy hand.\u0026nbsp;\n\nShe was good to me.\n\nI smirked.\n\nReminded me of one of the brightest engineers I ever knew.\n\nI frowned.\n\nThe distractions never lasted long enough.\n\n  \n\nI'd been drinking since early afternoon.\n\nIt was now dark and I was sloshed.\n\nBut I kept throwing back fiery shots while I mused over the prospect of getting into a fight.\n\nThere was a group nearby passionately discussing the merits and politics of the Flame Legion. The pros and cons. With a few of them a little too smitten with the pros. Real juvenile, missing the point type shit.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnd the thought of sticking my snout where it didn't belong was enticing.\n\nTalk like that almost always ended in scars and broken bones and I was eager to say my peace no matter the reaction.\n\nBut before I could make myself their problem, a charr slipped into the empty seat beside me.\n\nYoung, a little lanky but well-groomed. His soft coat of charcoal fur looked recently clipped and he smelled faintly of burning pine.\n\nHis nose twitched as he sniffed the air around me, the corner of his lip raised. There was eagerness that lit in his eyes as he sized me up.\n\nI was at least twice his age. Heavy-set. My roan coat was shaggy and smelled of three-day old sweat and booze.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI reckon I could've snapped him like a twig.\n\nAnd from the way he was looking at me, there was every chance that was what he wanted.\n\n\"Odd night to drink alone,\" he started. He sounded pleasant. Frustratingly pleasant.\n\nI grunted and sipped my drink.\n\nI had him pegged already.\n\nLikely part of some rookie warband, stationed in Diessa to guard the pass to the Shiverpeaks.\n\nProbably passing through for the night, or running a message or gathering supplies.\n\nHim being here alone almost certainly meant his warband wasn't in town.\n\nI flicked my eyes to him, hoping for a reason to care.\n\nNone.\n\nHe looked plain, another blade for the Legions. Likely too confident in himself.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"What's troubling you?\" He asked.\n\nFar too pleasant.\n\nMust be fresh from the fahrar.\n\n\"You.\" I snorted.\n\nHe chuckled and clinked his glass against mine. \"Company not your thing?\"\n\nI snorted again, nostrils flared.\n\n\"I'll take it.\" He leant forward on his stool, plainly not taking my disinterest to heart.\n\nHe knew what he wanted.\n\nI sighed inwardly.\n\nPerhaps I wanted that too.\n\nAt the very least, it wouldn't end with me in an infirmary. I could stomach that.\n\n\"What's your name?\" He raised a brow.\n\n\"Otharus.\"\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"Mmm, good, strong name. I'm-\"\n\n\"Didn't ask.\" I hated the small talk. I knew what he was after, all he needed was proof I reciprocated, so I'd give it to him.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI stood up and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. \"We're going.\"\n\nA huge smile cracked on his face.\n\nHe really wanted me.\n\n\"Sure. I have a room.\"\n\nHe spoke like it was a necessity.\n\nLike I wasn't above rutting him in the alley behind the bar.\n\nLike I was considering doing regardless.\n\n  \n\nHe was a pushover.\n\nI could get anything I wanted out of him, but I wanted nothing but a distraction.\n\nSo he could lead me to privacy, and I'd welcome it for the few extra moments it burned out of this dreary night.\n\nAnything to help the time pass faster.\n\nAnd it meant a night indoors on a mattress.\n\nSomething I knew I wanted, and I knew was a good thing.\n\nI just didn't care.\n\nHe was rabbiting on as he led me from the bar.\n\nI grunted an acknowledgement when prompted, but none of it sank in.\n\nHe was meaningless.\n\nI was meaningless.\n\n  \n\nBut it stole time from the long, ceaseless fuse that was my life.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnything to get me closer to where I belonged.\n\nIf only I wasn't so much of a coward; I could join my warband faster.\n\nI rankled my nose.\n\nI hated thoughts like that.\n\nHated them. Cursed them.\u0026nbsp;\n\nFeared them.\n\nI growled under my breath.\n\nThe younger charr froze. \"You okay?\"\n\nI blinked.\n\nI'd forgotten he was here.\n\n\"Just hurry up.\"\u0026nbsp;\n\nHe peered at me a moment, then dipped forward and licked my lips.\n\n\"I'll make you feel good,\" he said.\n\nThe words hardly reached me.\n\nI was aroused, sure.\n\nBut I'd zoned out again.\n\nHe glanced around, we were alone on a side street.\n\nHe groped me.\n\nHe probably thought it was cute.\n\nI was obscene.\n\nI dropped a hand to my waist and tugged my pants down enough for my thick cock to poke straight out.\n\nFor my heavy nuts to hang in the cool night breeze.\n\nHe gasped.\n\n\"Fuck.\" He spun around on his feet, gazing in every direction to make sure nobody else could see. He squeezed the base of my cock.\n\nI crooned my neck and exhaled.\n\nBut he yanked up my pants.\n\n\"Almost there.\" He licked his lips nervously.\n\nI rolled my eyes. \"If I pinned you here and took you, would you fight it or welcome it?\"\n\nHe coughed. \"Not spending a night in a cell for your impatience.\"\n\nI laughed.\n\nIt was funny, his fear.\n\nPart of me wanted that to happen, so I could watch him another day.\n\nWatch him fret and fume in a cell.\n\nIt'd be amusing, for a time at least.\n\nBut even if we fucked out in the open, there was hardly a chance we got caught. Not here.\n\nRegardless, I wouldn't force myself on him.\n\nWouldn't dare.\n\n  \n\nHe led me down another street and let us into a small building.\u0026nbsp;\n\nHis apartment was simple and lacked the personality of a permanent abode.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI kicked my pants off.\n\nHe turned and stared.\n\nHis mouth opened as he eyed all nine inches of my arousal.\n\nI scratched my ass. \"Off you go then.\"\n\nHe blinked. \"Hm?\"\n\n\"Do whatever.\" I shrugged off my shirt.\n\nHe quivered a moment, his gaze shifted across my naked body.\u0026nbsp;\n\nHe stepped closer, a steady hand on my chest. He traced my pectoral and slid his fingers down to my belly. His other hand cupped my balls.\n\nI laced my fingers behind my head.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"You're so hot.\" He whined softly as he nudged his muzzle into my armpit.\n\nHe was not surprising.\n\nNot subtle.\n\nJust desperate.\n\nHe thrust his hips against my side as he smelled me.\n\n\"Freak.\" I snorted and caged him under my arm.\u0026nbsp;\n\nHis cock throbbed in his pants.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI bore my weight down on him, squeezing him into my flank.\n\nHe purred as he rubbed his face in my stink.\n\nHis chest heaved until he'd had his fill. He tensed back to withdraw but I only caged him tighter to my side.\n\nHe thrust his hips against me, whimpering as he sucked in breath 'til he knew he'd had enough.\n\nHis claws pricked my arm as he pulled away.\n\nI let him stumbled back.\n\nHis face sweaty and wild.\n\nHe blinked.\n\nA smile curved on his lips.\n\nHis pants tented.\n\nI took a step forward and slammed a meaty paw into his sternum.\n\nHe toppled onto his bed and landed with a thud that knocked the wind from him.\n\nI pounced.\n\nMy cock struck his muzzle with a wet thwap.\n\nI pressed my thighs against his head and yanked him up by his horns, which grew like perfect handles from his head.\n\nHe was a whore.\n\nHe knew he was a whore.\n\nHe was born a whore no matter what he thought himself now.\n\nHe opened his mouth and freed a haggard moan as I pressed my cock between his lips.\n\nMy balls dragged up his neck.\n\nHis hands grabbed at my ass.\n\n  \n\nIf he weren't so inviting I'd be softer.\n\nBut he was inviting.\n\nHe wanted this treatment.\n\nI could do so much worse.\n\nI tugged at his horns and forced him down on my thick cock.\n\nHe gagged as it hit the back of his throat.\n\nHe spluttered as I pushed in further.\n\nI snorted.\n\nThis didn't even feel good.\n\nBut the pained look on his face was stained with hunger as his hands pushed me harder into him.\n\nI lodged so much of my cock into his throat he seized and jerked away.\n\nHe coughed.\n\nA strand of spit hung from the tip of my dick.\n\nI rubbed it into the top of his snout.\n\nStill he stared at me with wanting eyes.\n\nThis was the treatment he craved.\n\nI slapped him with my cock.\n\nHe flinched as I struck him again.\n\nI grabbed him by the throat and tugged him forward.\n\nHe swallowed half of my cock.\n\nI tightened my hold on his neck.\n\nHe suckled at me, straining as he rasped air around me.\n\nIt was fun to watch the desire drain from his features.\n\nTo see a bit of fight on his face.\n\nThe reluctance with which he tried to pull back escalated to intent and bordered on desperation before I let him go.\n\nHe heaved in a long breath.\u0026nbsp;\n\nThen lapped the lip of my cock.\n\nHe dipped forward, eager for more.\n\nI snarled.\n\nHe would get what I give him.\n\n  \n\nI raised a leg and bashed my knee across his face as I turned.\n\nI sat on him, and moaned as his snout pressed into my crack.\n\nHe lapped at my hole. His nose nestled into the groove under my tail.\n\nThough he strained to breathe with my weight on him, he snorted as he pressed his tongue into my ass.\n\nWarmth rose through the hold alcohol had on my body.\n\nI leant forward and yanked his pants down.\n\nHis cock sprung out, slick with pre.\n\nBarely six inches with little girth.\n\nHis balls sat limply under. Drained. He was a whore and still he craved more.\n\nIt angered me.\n\nI grabbed the shaft of his cock and squeezed until he convulsed under me.\u0026nbsp;\n\nHis tongue lashed my hole through grunts and gasps.\n\nI didn't let go.\n\nI crushed his cock in my paw until he strained at my weight and yowled.\n\nI tensed my hand.\n\nJust for a moment.\n\nA shout left his throat.\n\nI rose off of him.\n\n  \n\nI gave him a moment's respite as he gathered his breath.\n\n\"So rough,\" he gasped.\n\nIt was a nothing statement.\n\nNo feedback, just acknowledgement.\n\nIt meant I could push him harder.\n\nI put a foot on his chest.\n\nI ground my pad into his shirt.\n\nMy claws tested the fabric.\n\nI clenched my toes and jerked back, tearing through the garment as I kicked it off of him.\n\nHis charcoal fur gave way to a gentle grey around his belly and crotch.\n\nHe had a knotted scar on his abdomen.\n\nDevourer wound.\n\nThe kind you were lucky to survive.\n\nI peered down at him.\n\nMost charr hardened up from their near death experiences.\n\nBut this one had no spine.\n\nI growled under my breath.\n\nHe wasn't a weapon.\n\nHe was lower than gladia.\n\nLower than me.\n\nI caught his eye.\n\nHis stare was full of adoration and I wanted nothing more than to crush it.\n\n  \n\nHe raised a hand to my ass and poked at my hole.\n\nHis claw circled the sensitive flesh.\n\nIt stole a gasp from me.\n\nI slapped his hand away and ground my foot into his chest.\n\nDidn't want his pleasure.\n\nBurn me, I could make him bleed.\n\nI could eviscerate him the same way I tore his shirt.\n\nBut he submitted under the weight of my body.\n\nHis cock throbbed as it leaked more precum.\n\nI glowered.\n\n  \n\nThe alcohol in my blood made me feel dangerous.\n\nI kicked him and let my foot linger in place as I rolled him over.\n\nHe grunted as he crawled onto his knees.\n\nHis tail swished to the side as he stretched to show off his pink hole.\n\nI brought a paw down on his ass so hard my claws pricked his flesh.\n\nHe moaned.\n\nI grabbed the base of his tail and jerked it upwards, hard enough to pull his knees from the mattress.\n\nHe snarled.\n\nI spat in his crack and stabbed a finger into his hole.\n\nThere was little resistance.\n\n  \n\nI think I could've killed him.\n\nHe was no charr to me.\u0026nbsp;\n\nNo respect for himself. For his body.\n\nHe submitted to me so freely.\n\nSo hungrily.\n\nLike a human.\n\nHis warband would be ashamed.\n\nBurn them all if the thought of disowning him hadn't crossed their minds.\n\nThese thoughts formed a vicious shell.\n\nIt was either my cock or a blade I'd leave impaled into him and neither felt more enticing than the other.\n\nWere I not naked and unarmed, I know what I would've done.\n\n  \n\nI forced my finger down to the knuckle.\n\nA shiver ran down his back as he exhaled.\n\nI crammed a second finger into his hole.\n\nHe was so warm and wanting.\n\nIt made me impatient.\n\nHe moaned out loud and all I could think of was pounding him into silence.\n\nI shoved hard against his hips and he lurched forward, curled upside down on his shoulders. I wrapped an arm around his torso and brandished my thick cock in his face.\n\nHe opened his mouth.\n\nI thrust into his muzzle.\n\nHe hacked a cough which cracked into a groan as I spread his asshole with my fingers.\n\nThis slut wasn't ready.\n\nI teased a third finger.\n\nHis entire body shuddered.\n\nHis tongue lapped meekly at my cock.\u0026nbsp;\n\nPleasure rose within me and capsized my anger.\n\nI had him. He was mine to enjoy.\n\nSo I should enjoy him.\n\nHe gasped as I pulled my fingers back.\n\nI could feel his anxiety rising as I drew in a steady breath.\n\nHe couldn't see what I was about to do.\n\nHe tensed.\n\nI dragged my broad tongue from the back of his balls right up to the base of his tail.\n\nHe moaned so pleasantly.\n\nThe tension dripped from his frame.\n\nI let myself moan alongside him.\n\nHe moved his head as he blew me.\n\n  \n\nMoments like this it felt like there was no weight on my soul.\n\nI circled his hole with my tongue, delighting in every slight motion he made in response.\n\nI pressed my tongue into him and gently thrust my hips. The warmth of his muzzle tingled right up to my belly.\n\nI nosed at his taint as I tasted his pre.\n\nIt was sweet.\n\nIt coated my tongue as I lapped back towards his hole.\n\nHe shuddered and groaned.\n\nI poked back into him, a smile tugged at my jowls.\n\n  \n\nBut he spoke.\n\n\"Fuck me,\" he gasped, muffled by my cock. His voice cracked.\n\nI paused midstroke. I clutched his ass cheeks so hard my claws pressed against his flesh.\n\nAnger coiled up within me again.\n\nThis fucking whore had ruined it.\n\nHe'd exposed himself again.\n\nThis freak.\n\nI spread his cheeks.\n\nHe was taking me now.\n\nReady or not, I no longer cared.\n\n  \n\nI picked him off the mattress and pressed my cock into his throat until he gagged.\n\nHe wrenched his head back and rushed in a quick breath before I dropped him straight on his neck.\n\nFeline reflexes kicked in as he scrambled to land on his feet.\n\nHe hit the mattress belly-first with a grunt. He raised his ass.\n\nI pounced on top of him.\n\nThe weighty head of my cock braced against his hole.\n\n  \n\nHe wanted this.\n\n  \n\nI speared into him.\n\nHe was loose, but clearly trained on charr his size.\n\nHe clutched the sheets in desperate bundles, his head bowed into the pillows as he snarled against the feeling of me widening his guts.\n\nHis voice rose with every inch I forced into him.\n\nHe cursed as I bottomed out.\n\nI exhaled and gathered my anger. It steeled me against the pleasure of his body.\n\nI started withdrawing.\n\nLike I was pulling a blade from his chest he shouted.\n\nIt was encouraging.\n\nI thrust forward, his harsh grunts were the only feedback I needed.\n\nMy balls smacked the back of his as I slammed the last inch into him.\n\nHow little he was.\n\nI could smack him around and never get tired.\n\nI craned my neck as I pulled back again.\n\nOnly this time he moaned.\n\nSome of the tension within him gave way.\n\nI pressed into him easier as he relaxed.\n\nIt only pissed me off.\n\nI gyrated my hips, gaining speed as he widened.\n\nI wanted him to curse and squirm but he only gasped and moaned.\n\nI bore my weight down on him.\n\nI wanted to crush him but he only curled, the sounds of his pleasure rose to my ears and stoked the anger.\n\nI hooked an arm around his throat.\n\nI flexed into a chokehold.\n\nHe wheezed but shuddered.\n\nHis hips jerked lazily on my shaft.\n\nHe liked this more.\n\nBurn me.\n\nI forced two thick fingers into his open mouth and crammed them into him as I thrust.\n\nHe convulsed under me.\n\nHis eyes fluttered as I pounded him harder and harder.\n\nHis hips squeezed back on me as tension rose through his entire body and broke with a wail.\n\nHis cock jerked and shot a splash of cum across the sheets.\n\nMy revulsion hit its peak, then shattered.\n\n  \n\nAnd for the briefest moment I came alive.\n\n  \n\nHe was spent.\n\nHe'd finished from getting fucked.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnd that padded my ego.\n\nMade me feel good. Actually good.\n\nI wanted to draw this out.\n\nWanted to bask in this pleasure.\n\nThis fleeting moment where I could be grateful.\n\nWhere I could conceive something more.\n\nSomething hopeful.\n\nThat this guy had given his body to me and through mutual desire arose carnal pleasure. Something I wanted again.\n\nSomething I could contend with.\n\n  \n\nI slammed my hips against his ass.\n\nI ground my cock into him and groaned wildly to every thrust.\n\nMy balls ached for release as they slapped against his taint.\n\nI dipped forward, body unable to hold upright as I humped at him in a drunken stupor.\n\nEach motion cracked like lightning through my body.\n\nPleasure blinded the miasma of alcohol.\n\nIt blasted depressed thoughts from my mind and left me primal, charged and ready.\n\nI snarled as I crushed him against the mattress.\n\nI collapsed against his back and sunk teeth into the base of his neck.\n\nMy jaws locked around the tender flesh.\n\nHe wailed as he reached for my head.\n\nHe held his arms to my cheeks.\n\nMy cock twitched so hard he jolted.\n\nMy vision clouded as the orgasm crashed onto me.\n\nI moaned out loud as I pumped him full of cum.\n\nI gasped and thrust until I was empty.\n\nSpurt after spurt of my seed filled his insides.\n\n  \n\nI rolled off of him, staring at the ceiling.\n\nPanting.\n\nDamp with sweat.\n\nThe taste of his blood on my fangs.\n\nHe lifted his head to look at me, a contented look in his eyes. He had a hand clutched to where I'd bitten him.\n\nThough he didn't seem troubled by it.\n\nAnd that made me certain he was used to it.\n\nDisgusting.\n\n  \n\nThe afterglow subsided rather fast.\n\nI was drunk, dumb thoughts bounced around my skull like scattershot rounds.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnd none of them were pleasant.\n\nHe crawled up to me, wordless as he collapsed.\n\nI grasped him to try centre my thoughts.\n\nHe curled against me, at peace.\n\nI stared at the snoring lump of contented charr in my arms and found only resentment I was too tired to action.\n\nSo I threw my head back and tried to sleep.\n\n  \n\nI woke in the middle of the night.\n\nA vivid dream had thrown me from my rest.\n\nA memory of falling.\n\nOf blood and fire and screaming.\n\nOf an emotionless jungle rising from the ground to shred and maim.\n\nI clenched fists, a silent sob in my throat as I sucked in hefty breaths to try calm myself.\n\nMy fur was damp with sweat.\n\nMy belly ached.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI felt sick.\n\nMy heart thudded.\n\nI was bleary-eyed and woozy.\n\nMy feet and fists felt like lead and a weight of dread sat cold on my throat.\n\nIt was hard to breathe.\n\nI shook myself down, glancing at my surroundings.\n\nI'd followed someone home.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI was in their room. Silver moonlight slipped through blinds on the opposite wall.\n\nThey lay on me.\n\nThey- he. He was snoring softly.\n\nI blinked.\n\nI didn't know his name.\n\nHad I forgotten?\n\nHad I ever known?\n\nI scrunched my face and took deep breaths.\n\n  \n\nI was in the Black Citadel.\n\nI was safe.\n\nI wrapped my arms around the younger charr sharing the bed with me.\n\nI held him tenderly, until my breath fell normal and my heart plodded at a resting pace.\n\nI gave him a gentle squeeze, thankful for his presence.\n\nHe exhaled, his eyes fluttered open.\n\nHe looked at me, tired and confused for a long moment.\n\nHe was expecting something.\n\nA reason why I'd roused him.\n\nI wanted to tell him.\n\nNight terror.\n\nThat I'd left my heart, mind and soul in the jungle.\n\nThat this dirty body shambling around under the false guise of sentience could only feel what I'd lost.\n\nBut then he'd be pleasant.\n\nTry to coddle me.\n\nDidn't want that.\n\nMight've needed it, but didn't want it.\n\n  \n\nSo I deferred to the same thing I always did when I needed a distraction.\n\nI reached for tantalizing thoughts.\n\nEnduring fantasies.\n\nThings that always excited me.\n\nI was getting hard.\n\nHe was easy.\n\nMy erection throbbed.\n\n\"Ride it.\" I spoke firmly.\n\nHe blinked and yawned.\n\nFor a moment I thought he might show some restraint, but he wasn't that interesting.\n\nHe arched his back as he crawled over me.\n\nHe spat into his paw and rubbed it up my cock.\n\nI sighed.\n\nHe lined himself up and moaned as he wriggled down. His dick twitched as it grew to half-mast.\n\nHe felt good.\n\nI yawned and stared at the ceiling.\n\nIt was hard to focus.\n\nBrambles shredded my concentration.\n\nHe bounced on me, his voice cracking under the duress of pleasure.\n\nI lay still, content to let him lead it.\n\n  \n\nHe got wild.\n\nI wasn't sure how long he'd been going at it when he shuddered and shot a load across my chest.\n\nI was still staring at the ceiling, trying my best to hold onto this moment.\n\nHe looked exhausted.\n\nHis pace stumbled for a moment, but he recovered and kept bouncing in my lap, expecting something to happen.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnd eventually, it stopped feeling good.\n\nMy own tiredness crept up on me.\n\nI started to soften.\n\nHe flopped into the sheets beside me, his breathing ragged.\n\n\"Sorry,\" he managed between rushed breaths. Like that was his fault.\n\nI yawned and rolled on my side. \"For what?\" I stared into his eyes.\n\nHe seemed embarrassed.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"You uh, didn't finish.\" He averted his gaze.\n\n\"Yeah.\" I used the edge of his sheet to wipe some of his spunk from my chest. \"And?\"\n\nHe went silent for a moment. \"Dunno. Feels like I did something wrong.\"\n\nI scoffed. \"Try again in the morning then.\" I turned my back to him. \"Tired.\"\n\nI wanted him to keep talking.\n\nHis voice was soothing. It helped me focus.\n\nHe clicked his tongue like he wanted to say something, but let it lie.\n\nDisappointment welled within me.\n\nI should've said something.\n\nShould've been kinder.\n\nI felt grotesque.\n\nLike I'd used him.\n\nAnd I had.\n\nI had used him.\n\nThe utility of the pleasure and distraction he brought me far outweighed anything else about him.\n\nIf not for that, I wouldn't be here.\n\nIt was harder to fall asleep this time.\n\nOnce he was snoring I cradled him and stroked fingers through his soft fur. That put me at ease and disarmed the bad thoughts until I could drift off.\n\n  \n\nSunlight filtering through the rusty iron blinds woke me.\n\nI blinked.\n\nWarmth radiated through my chest.\n\nHis muzzle was between my legs.\n\nHe was so desperate to please me.\n\nI yawned and stretched my toes.\n\nHe perked his head up, a wide smile on his face. \"Morning.\"\n\nHe was being pleasant again.\n\nI sighed and pulled him by the horns into my arms.\n\nHe held his naked body against mine and let out a contented purr.\n\n\"Last night was a lot of fun.\" He nibbled at one of my ears. I twitched my head to push him away with a horn.\u0026nbsp;\n\nHe slipped a hand between us and fondled me.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI stared into his eyes, unimpressed.\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"Can I?\" he asked.\n\n\"Don't care.\"\n\nHe tilted his head, surprised. \"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"I mean I don't care.\"\u0026nbsp;\n\nHe folded his brow. \"Got a hangover?\"\n\nIt felt exhausting to even answer.\u0026nbsp;\n\nOf course I did. And worse.\n\n\"I'll make you feel better.\" He tried to shimmy lower on my body.\n\nI held him in place. My claws pressed against his flesh.\n\nHe froze. \"Maybe not.\" He gave a nervous chuckle.\n\n  \n\nI was so, so sick of him.\n\n  \n\nHe lay back down against me, his arms tangled around me. His tail swished lazily back and forth between my thighs.\n\n\"Can I get you anything?\" He sweetened his voice.\n\nI grunted.\n\n\"Water?\" He smirked. \"More booze?\" He raised his brow.\n\nI grunted again.\n\nA frown flashed across his face, he lay his head down on my chest and went quiet.\n\nI was thankful for that.\n\nWe lay there for a time.\n\nIt was warm. He was soft, and both of those things felt nice enough for me to stay here.\n\nBetter than being alone, at least.\n\n  \n\nEventually he asked. \"What do you do?\"\n\n\"Fuck all.\"\n\n\"Ah. Uh, what can you do?\"\n\nI scrunched my face, hopeful I could say enough to shut him up longer. \"I can make things.\"\n\n\"Like, an engineer?\"\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"Mhm.\"\n\n\"A good one?\" There was so much hope in his voice. I hated it.\n\n\"I was part of The Pact's fleet.\"\n\nI hoped that sent the message.\n\nNeeded it to.\n\nIf he had the brains to see it, that said it all.\n\n\"Damn,\" he said, missing the point entirely. \"That's amazing.\"\n\nI glared at him.\n\nHe didn't notice.\n\n\"Listen, my warband's in need of an engineer, so if...\" he trailed off.\n\nI started laughing.\n\nAmusing.\n\nTerribly, terribly amusing.\n\nHis warband? He was recruiting?\n\nHe was a centurion then?\u0026nbsp;\n\nThis soft, desperate freak was a centurion?\n\nHard, heavy, unbridled laughter rumbled out of me.\n\n\"You want me to join your warband so I can fuck you every night.\"\n\n\"That's not-\"\n\n\"Fuck off.\" I snorted, still laughing.\n\nHe glared at me. \"I'm serious.\"\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"So am I.\" I pushed him towards my crotch. \"Blow me.\"\n\nI wanted to piss him off.\n\nBut he was soft.\n\nMalleable.\n\nWay too suggestable.\n\nStill desperate.\n\nHe grabbed my cock in one hand and slathered his broad tongue up my shaft.\n\nHe purred as he reached the tip. \"You should consider it.\" He lapped at my balls. \"And I'll do this whenever you need it.\"\n\nHe made his voice sickly sweet.\n\nIt curdled my desire.\n\nI was bored of him.\n\nThe thought of answering to a charr like him was sickening.\n\nMy warband would've chewed him to pieces.\n\nI grimaced.\n\nI could chew him to pieces.\n\nRight now.\n\n  \n\nI kicked and shoved him off my cock.\u0026nbsp;\n\nHe misread it and curled on his belly, presenting me his ass. The fur of his cheeks all ruffled and messy from last night.\n\nI snarled and lurched out of bed.\n\nI felt ill. The world spun as blood rushed from my head and a whisker of nausea crept into my belly.\n\nHe glanced up at me, hurt in his eyes. \"What's wrong?\"\n\nI didn't dignify it with an answer as I pulled my pants on.\n\nThe penny dropped.\n\nPleasantness fell from his expression.\n\n\"Don't you hate being gladia?\" He snarled at me, all that hurt sharpened on his face. \"Being so worthless? We'd-\"\n\nI growled.\n\nHe hissed. \"That's the best deal you're ever going to get.\"\n\nI had no desire to explain myself.\n\n  \n\nBut he was patronising me if he thought this was what I needed.\n\nSo I brought my hand down on his face.\n\nOpen-clawed.\n\nHe snarled and recoiled.\n\nI'd hardly struck him but blood was already welling in the three marks I'd gouged on his forehead.\n\nHe lunged at me, still weak.\n\nStill malleable.\n\nI grabbed him around the chest and heaved him high before slamming him onto the mattress.\n\nThe air went out of him.\n\nHe was lucky I hadn't thrown him on the floor.\n\nI could've. Maybe even should've.\n\nHe hacked a rough breath.\n\n\"What's wrong with you?\" There was so much bitterness in his voice, like a spurned lover. Like he knew me. Like he understood me. Like he thought that would hurt me, one last desperate claw at my heart.\n\n  \n\nI looked down on him, ready to be smug.\n\nReady to feel amused that this naked twig of a centurion would dare voice these things to me.\n\nBut fuck, did it make me feel like shit.\n\nHe'd gotten me through the night.\n\nHe was young, his life so painless and easy.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnd I'd given him more trouble than he deserved.\n\nWhy should I care he was soft? Desperate even. He was just being nice.\n\nFuck.\n\nI squinted, snatched my ratty shirt off of the floor and walked out.\n\n  \n\nThe clanging of metalworkers echoed through the streets.\n\nSomething clicked behind me. He'd locked his door.\n\nFair.\n\nI sighed and headed for home, Gladium Canton, where I had a shitty lean-to and a shitty bench where I'd wait out my day and watch the sun path the sky like the spark that burned through the endless fuse around my neck.\n\nI was as content as I was capable of being.\n\nI was a stripped bolt crunched in the gears of a faulty chopper, eager for the entire thing to crash and burn.\u0026nbsp;\n\nBut I'd buried another day.\n\n  \n  \n\n"}