{"sf1_id":1980068,"sf2_id":"Rm0XAMZm","title":"Electroluxe!, Chapter Three.","author":"BoxCrate","words":2548,"posted_at":"2023-04-25T04:28:21.000Z","tags":["1960s","1970s","Cat","HMOFA","Human","Mild Retro-Futurism","Robot"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1980068-electroluxe-chapter-three","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/Rm0XAMZm","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/93/98/939874ca-ed24-4b6e-9f97-0d9931dca1b1","description":"Imported from SF2 with no description.","content":"\\\u003e\"Are you people insane? Did the way I wrote my address on the order form make me look like a skunkfucker or something?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"S-sir, I'm not even sure what that means!\" The rep stuttered.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Then get someone on the line who does!\" You say with finality, tired of dealing with someone who clearly has no answers for you.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"A-alright sir, I'll put you on hold and get the head of the sales department on. Does that sound OK?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThey've been bouncing you around the lines for what feels like hours now, but you don't have a clock in your den to know just how much of your life you're not getting back.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Freaking dandy.\" you huff.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe line clicks and the sudden intrusion of soothing jazz tones corrodes your sanity further.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou take the handset off your ear, laying it face down on the table as you pinch the bridge of your nose.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eTaking a deep breath, you lower your hand to the mint green owners manual.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe cover depicts a stylized black and white cat robot with bright yellow glowing eye screens.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eNot the color that you'd imagined for their eyes, but it could've been anything on that old black and white tube.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eJust like how you hadn't imagined she would be a cat.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eNot even one of those 'catgirls' that the Japanese were fond of, but the full nine lives. Button nose, tiny fangs, ears, tail and all.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThey'd left normal hands on it, but you supposed it would need them to do much of anything.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eIt also had long, flowing black hair that you would've found very nice on a girl.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eBut, unfortunately, still a cat.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou turned back to the booklet and opened it to the first page.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'Thank you for purchasing a fine Pioneer-Standard home product!'\n\n \n\n\\\u003eRight.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou skip all the thanking nonsense, and single out the beginning of the actual manual.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'So you bought yourself an Electroluxe?'\n\n \n\n\\\u003e_Sure did!_ You sneer in your mind with the most mocking tone you can imagine.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'There are many things a new Electroluxe owner should know before waking up their unit for the first time.'\"  \n \\\u003e'The most important being, your Electroluxe home companion is personalized! [SHE] is the only one on this earth named [JULIE] with [BLACK] hair!\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Julie, huh? Not a bad name…\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou heard a soft click, and looked back to the fuzzy robot.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eBut nothing changed.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eMust be the house settling or something.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou return your attention to the manual.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'Besides that, there are a few important steps that should be taken before you wake them!'\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'First: Make sure that your included charging dock is secured, and plugged in to any standard 120 volt wall outlet.'\n\n \n\n\\\u003eCheck.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'Second: Make sure their vision is unobstructed. Electroluxe housekeepers have a tendency to become confused if their eyes are working, but can't see anything.'\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThat's a little concerning, but check.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'Third: Make sure to give them plenty of space to get oriented! Electroluxe housekeepers may be compact, but they still need plenty of room to find their bearings!'\n\n \n\n\\\u003eHopefully your den is big enough for that.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'Once you've completed these steps, [JULIE] is ready to be powered on! Just say: “[JULIE], wake up!\" and watch the magic happen!'\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYeah right. Maybe when we get this whole 'cat' thing sorted out.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eSpeaking of, you can hear a faint voice tweeting out of the handset.\n\n \n\n\\\u003ePicking it up, you put it to your ear, and ready yourself for a customer service nightmare yet again.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Hello-hello! Anyone still on this line?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Yeah I'm here.\" You respond to the chipper voice.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Great! My names Gary Neintach and I am the head of sales here at Pioneer-Standard Northwest. What's your name, son?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Anon Mous.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Pleasure to meet, Anon!\" He said, the sounds of lightning fast typing just barely leaking through to your ears.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I see that you've recently purchased a Super Deluxe model PS-68 Electroluxe housekeeper. I would offer my congratulations, but its seems you're having some problems. May I ask what's the matter?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"It's a cat.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I'm sorry?\" He confusedly replied.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"It's a cat, Gary.\" You deadpan with fake chipper in your voice. “A robot cat standing in my living room.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eSilence.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"That's… a little odd.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"You read my mind.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Can I ask the sex, hair color, and name of the unit you have?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Female, Black, Julie.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe typing through the phone grew faster and louder.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe soft click behind you went ignored yet again.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Alrighty. And have you told Julie to wake up yet?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"No, I haven't told her to wake up.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Well, you can rest easy knowing that you can trust your eyes. Says here that Julie was accessorized in the image of a bicolor cat.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Why?\" You carefully ask, not entirely sure if you want the answer.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Such information is private and belongs to Julie's intended owner.\" He said stiffly.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eWell, that answers that.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"What kind of nut buys a robot meant to look like a cat, anyway? The idea alone makes me a little sick to my stomach.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Unfortunately also private.\" He said.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe line went silent as you both couldn't think of anything to say.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Well, now what?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eGary took the opening to try to allay your concerns.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e“Luckily, since she's never been powered on, and therefore hasn't 'imprinted' on you, so to speak…\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Don't-\" You quickly interrupt. “Don't use the word 'imprinted' please.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e...Sorry.\" He sighed into the handset.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Since she hasn't marked you as her _owner_,\" He said, emphasizing the change in phrasing. “You're safe to box her back up and wait on the next available return truck.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Great, and how long would I have to wait for return shipping and a different Electroluxe?\"  \n \\\u003e\"The logistics manager is getting back to me on that first part, but I can let you know that unfortunately the Super Deluxes were a _very_ limited run, and a replacement would end up being you waiting for next year's model.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Damn. That's a long wait for something I spent six cars worth of money on. Is there any way we could just have a body kit delivered, or send it in to have it's cosmetics replaced?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Unfortunately that's not an option. Sixty-eights go through a lot of training to prepare for life in the homes of their new owners, and they have plenty of time to get accustomed to the way they look.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"You're telling me that's not something you can just reprogram?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Unfortunately no, their programming isn't really all that structural. It mostly just pokes their intelligence core to do things rather than acting as a list of everything they do like in older models. They work exactly like we do, just railroaded.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"So what's my course of action here?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Being honest? Just send her back and wait for the other guy to complain about him getting the wrong one, or wait until next years model. Both would take about the same amount of time.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"God dammit.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I Agree.\" He says solemnly. “Could a couple hundred bucks in compensation help at all?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"You know Gary, I don't really want the money back. I'm just going to get her back in the box and wait for a letter. Sound good?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Works for me. I'll go ahead and get started with this return filing and get logistics on that letter for you.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e“Thank you.\" You reply before remembering how you started the call.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e“Oh, could you tell that customer service woman I apologize? I was really worked up and kind of took it out on her.'\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Of course I can, and I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that. Have a nice day.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"You too, bye.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou sigh, shoulders slumping as you drop the handset into it's cradle.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eWell, at least the wait is over.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eAll you have to do now is pack it back up and wait.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eAgain.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou rest your head on the desk for a short time, frustrated.\n\n \n\n \n\n+------------+\n\n \n\n \n\n\\\u003eIt's gone.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eIt's fucking gone.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou turned your back for five minutes and the damned robot turned on and skittered off.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eWhy did it even do that? You didn't tell it to wake up yet.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eEither way, staring like a drooling moron at an empty box isn't going to solve your problem.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou plod over to your mudroom window, pushing the dusty curtain out of the way to take a careful look up and down your block.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe dim sodium streetlamps that dot the neighborhood do little to light up the way.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eBut even with the poor visibility, it doesn't seem like it's outside.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThat would be very hard to explain to your neighbors.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e_Oh, nothing serious, just a robot cat_ _woman_ _in a frilly maid outfit_ _that was sent to me by mistake._\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe thought made your skin crawl.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou continued looking.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eNothing in the kitchen.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eNot in the den anymore (obviously.)\n\n \n\n\\\u003eNor the garage, backyard, or laundry room.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e_Where the hell could it have even gone?_ _Why would it go anywhere?_\n\n \n\n_\\\u003e_You're getting a bit frustrated and concerned by the time you finish searching the ground floor.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYour first clue comes when you find a fuzzy black triangle resting at the bottom of your stairs.\n\n \n\n\\\u003ePicking it up, you can tell it's definitely an ear.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eJust like the one in the accessories box.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThat's weird, you taped that box back up.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eAnd another one further up the stairs.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eBy the time you reach your bedroom door following tiny tufts of black fuzz you hear faint crying.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThat doesn't seem right. Why would they program them to do that?\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou twist the doorknob, and step into your bedroom.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e_Could've sworn I heard crying in here._\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe muffled sound of someone screaming into a pillow emanates from your closet.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eAh.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou slowly walk to your closet door.\n\n \n\n\\\u003ePutting your hand against the handle, you hesitate.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eGary said that they're just like people.\n\n \n\n\\\u003ePerhaps you should try treating her like one, instead of barging in just to shut her off.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Julie?\" You ask the door.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe crying pauses, the only thing you hear for a long moment is labored… breathing?\n\n \n\n\\\u003e_They breathe? These things keep getting more and more interesting by the second._\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThat's besides the point.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I'm coming in, okay?\" You continue.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"N-n- Please! Just L-leave me in here and I won't be your problem anymore!\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe tiny pang of guilt grew.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I'm coming in now.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou try to twist the knob.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eIt slips in your hand.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Julie, unlock the door please.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"J-just l-let me-\" She tried to reply, her 'breath' hitching her to a sobbing standstill.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Julie. Please open the door.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe soft whimpers behind the door grow quiet, but not gone.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I-I'm sorry.\" She apologizes, fumbling with the lock.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eSwinging the door open, you take in the sight of the poor thing.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eBoth of her ears are most certainly gone, and her now deep blue eye screens look up at you, a mix of fear and sadness that brutalizes the pocket of guilt in your throat.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eHer previously mint green sleeves were dampened to the same navy shade.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eA selfish part in the back of your mind hopes that you don't have to refill something for that.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eGod, why would they design them to look so pitiful. Is it just to make you feel like even more of a bastard than you are?\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe hell does she even need tears for?\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I know \\*hic\\* I disgust you.\" She chokes out. “Please, just tell me to wipe my core so you don't have to deal with me.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I'm not disgusted by you.\" You say sincerely. “And I don't like the sound of that second part. No.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I know that's n-not true.\" She spat, wrapping her arms around herself. “You said so on the phone. I heard it.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eShe looked away as her eyes smoothly shifted to a hazy purple, her colorless 'eyelids' slanting in a cartoonish frustrated look.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou could have died from cuteness, if not for circumstances.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I was _not_ talking about you.\" You insist more forcefully, pointing a finger at her. “You did nothing wrong.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou kneel down to her level, and put a hand on her shoulder.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eShe seems to calm a bit, waiting for what you have to say.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eHer catlike face just doesn't look quite right without the ears, does it?\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou sigh.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Look…\" You start, not really sure exactly where you're going, but talking anyway.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I was really not expecting what I saw when I opened that box. I got spooked and said some things I probably shouldn't have when I thought you couldn't hear. That was wrong of me.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eShe rested her hands in her lap, her eyes still buzzing in purple, but more softly.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eThe cartoonish angry slant of her eye screens made you feel just as scorned as when your mother scolded you as a kid.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eDidn't make it any less adorable.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"And when I said that thought made me sick to my stomach, I meant whoever bought you. It's just not something I could see someone in their right mind doing. I'm sorry.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eShe huffed, and her eyes shifted back to a sad cool blue.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I'm sorry, too.\" she said “I shouldn't have ran away.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eWas that really so wrong of her?\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou should tell her she didn't do anything wrong.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Can we just start over?\" You ask.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Please.\" She whispered, not meeting your gaze.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I'm Anon. Welcome to my home.\" you say, extending your hand.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"J-julie. It's nice to meet you, Anon.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eAfter shaking her hand, you held up the one holding her ears.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"So how do these go in?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eTurns out, very simply.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou just put the shiny metal pegs into the shiny metal sockets.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eMonths of preschool training put to good use!\n\n \n\n\\\u003eEach gave a surprisingly hearty clunk when she locked them into place.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e'Like a masterlock.' she says.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eNeat.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"There, better?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Thank you Anon.\" She replies shyly, softly running her jointed fingers along an ear.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eA short, disconcerting silence takes over the cramped space.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou break it quickly, before the awkwardness can simmer into real discomfort.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Why don't I show you around, eh?\" You say, offering your hand to the now much calmer robot.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"It's almost 11:00 sir. I wouldn't want to keep you from sleep for my benefit.\" She says, rubbing her hands together nervously.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Oh.\" Your eyebrows jump in surprise.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYou really did need to get a watch. That phone call really ate four hours of your life while you weren't looking.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Tomorrow's my day off anyway, it's no trouble.\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I really must insist, the key to a long happy life is good sleep!\" She says with what you can only describe as the fakest chipper you've ever seen.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eMaybe she just needs some time.\n\n \n\n“Well I suppose that gives you plenty of time to charge up then. Big house, lots of ground to cover.\"  \n \\\u003eYou shake your hand a little with a smile, and she hesitantly takes it\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"I'll show you your room as a sneak peek tonight, what do you say?\"\n\n \n\n\\\u003eHer eyes blinked at your hand around hers, flickering from deep blue to a more subdued sky hue.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eShe looks back up at you, and you pull her up.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eEven after all that, she puts on the tiniest of smiles.\n\n \n\n\\\u003eYeah. Some time should do it.\n\n \n\n\\\u003e\"Okay.\"","series":{"name":"Electroluxe!","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1975115-electroluxe-chapter-two.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/1986146-electroluxe-chapter-four.json"}}