{"sf1_id":2020477,"sf2_id":"dePrzVqn","title":"Porcupine Cuddler (ADHG)","author":"PapaDelta","words":565,"posted_at":"2023-07-08T04:18:15.000Z","tags":["ADHG","Contemporary","Cuddling","Greentext","HMOFA","Human","Humor","Porcupine","Third Person"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2020477-porcupine-cuddler-adhg","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/dePrzVqn","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/6b/c3/6bc386d5-5adb-4a09-817a-e5fd2fba8904","description":"A porcupine girl tries to make it as a professional cuddler. It doesn't go well.  \n  \n~600 words","content":"\\\u003ePorcupine girl loves humies, all her friends are professional cuddlers, decides to enter the cuddling market despite being totally inexperienced\n\n\\\u003eHer very first customer just so happens to be one of these professional reviewers\n\n\\\u003eHe suggests they lay on the couch to start off, motions for her to lay down first so he can lay on top of her\n\n\\\u003eShe has to awkwardly explain how she can't do that or her quills would ruin the couch so they just end up sitting side by side\n\n\\\u003eThey turn on the TV and it turns out her notflix subscription just ran out so they have to settle for public programming\n\n\\\u003eAn awkward silence develops but she's too shy and inexperienced to know how to break it\n\n\\\u003eAfter what feels like an eternity he suggests they move to the bedroom to continue the cuddling\n\n\\\u003eShe jumps up excited at the chance to turn this cuddling session around\n\n\\\u003eThey move to the bed and slip under the covers, laying side by side\n\n\\\u003eShe runs her nails through his hair and desperately tries to remember what all her friends told her to say to customers to make them feel at ease\n\n\\\u003e\"Hey Anon, you have really nice...uhh...you're just such a nice young man-I mean boy! You're such a nice boy. No, wait, you're a good boy, ya that's it. You're such a good boy Anon.\"\n\n\\\u003e\"...thanks\"\n\n\\\u003e\"Don't mention it! And you have such nice hair. It's so smooth and uh, voluminous, and it's such a nice brown color. It really reminds me of, ummm, you know it's kind of like...dirt. But I mean that in a good way! You know dirt is important, it like, helps plants grow and things.\"\n\n\\\u003e\"...can you please stop?\"\n\n\\\u003e\"Sure! S-sorry if I did anything to offend you. I-I didn't mean it.\" She apologetically stammers\n\n\\\u003eFor a brief moment they lay on the bed and she continues to hold him close\n\n\\\u003eThings seem to be improving with how relaxed he seems to be getting\n\n\\\u003eThat is until he gives a pained shout and scrambles off the bed, one of her loose quills having stabbed him on the foot\n\n\\\u003eShe desperately tries to apologize but he just puts his shoes on and stomps out the door\n\n\\\u003eShe checks cuddlr on her phone and sees a new review from the guy\n\n\\\u003e\"Without a doubt one of my worst cuddling experiences to date. Awful at small talk, awful at physical contact, and I left her house with a bloody foot and I only got called a good boy one time. One time! 0/10 do not use.\"\n\n\\\u003eFirst she's sad, then angry, then she eventually tries to get over it\n\n\\\u003eUntil it's been a week and so far no one has hired her to cuddle them\n\n\\\u003eThe fact that this one stinking humie ruined her chances of ever being a professional cuddler drives her up the wall\n\n\\\u003eShe makes a new account this time with the profile pic of a wolf and fake bio\n\n\\\u003eWaits until the same guy hires her\n\n\\\u003eLast time was a miserable failure, but this time she'll do better\n\n\\\u003eShe gets lessons from her friends, reads a mountain of books on human psychology and cuddling tips, watches hours of cuddling tutorials on youtube, buys a manequinn to practice her moves on\n\n\\\u003eThis time she'll show him just how affectionate porcupines can be, quills and all","series":{"name":"Garden of Greens (Anthology)","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2013671-tiger-pool-adhg.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2020479-muzzled-gf-adhg.json"}}