# Porcupine Cuddler (ADHG) Author: PapaDelta Tags: ADHG, Contemporary, Cuddling, Greentext, HMOFA, Human, Humor, Porcupine, Third Person A porcupine girl tries to make it as a professional cuddler. It doesn't go well. ~600 words \>Porcupine girl loves humies, all her friends are professional cuddlers, decides to enter the cuddling market despite being totally inexperienced \>Her very first customer just so happens to be one of these professional reviewers \>He suggests they lay on the couch to start off, motions for her to lay down first so he can lay on top of her \>She has to awkwardly explain how she can't do that or her quills would ruin the couch so they just end up sitting side by side \>They turn on the TV and it turns out her notflix subscription just ran out so they have to settle for public programming \>An awkward silence develops but she's too shy and inexperienced to know how to break it \>After what feels like an eternity he suggests they move to the bedroom to continue the cuddling \>She jumps up excited at the chance to turn this cuddling session around \>They move to the bed and slip under the covers, laying side by side \>She runs her nails through his hair and desperately tries to remember what all her friends told her to say to customers to make them feel at ease \>"Hey Anon, you have really nice...uhh...you're just such a nice young man-I mean boy! You're such a nice boy. No, wait, you're a good boy, ya that's it. You're such a good boy Anon." \>"...thanks" \>"Don't mention it! And you have such nice hair. It's so smooth and uh, voluminous, and it's such a nice brown color. It really reminds me of, ummm, you know it's kind of like...dirt. But I mean that in a good way! You know dirt is important, it like, helps plants grow and things." \>"...can you please stop?" \>"Sure! S-sorry if I did anything to offend you. I-I didn't mean it." She apologetically stammers \>For a brief moment they lay on the bed and she continues to hold him close \>Things seem to be improving with how relaxed he seems to be getting \>That is until he gives a pained shout and scrambles off the bed, one of her loose quills having stabbed him on the foot \>She desperately tries to apologize but he just puts his shoes on and stomps out the door \>She checks cuddlr on her phone and sees a new review from the guy \>"Without a doubt one of my worst cuddling experiences to date. Awful at small talk, awful at physical contact, and I left her house with a bloody foot and I only got called a good boy one time. One time! 0/10 do not use." \>First she's sad, then angry, then she eventually tries to get over it \>Until it's been a week and so far no one has hired her to cuddle them \>The fact that this one stinking humie ruined her chances of ever being a professional cuddler drives her up the wall \>She makes a new account this time with the profile pic of a wolf and fake bio \>Waits until the same guy hires her \>Last time was a miserable failure, but this time she'll do better \>She gets lessons from her friends, reads a mountain of books on human psychology and cuddling tips, watches hours of cuddling tutorials on youtube, buys a manequinn to practice her moves on \>This time she'll show him just how affectionate porcupines can be, quills and all Source: https://sofurry.com/s/dePrzVqn Part of the series Garden of Greens (Anthology) Previous: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2013671-tiger-pool-adhg.md Next: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2020479-muzzled-gf-adhg.md