{"sf1_id":2030356,"sf2_id":"Xnrvz47n","title":"Disturbance in the Neighborhood (HMOFA)","author":"PapaDelta","words":517,"posted_at":"2023-07-28T21:35:43.000Z","tags":["Boar","Contemporary","First Person","Food","Greentext","HMOFA","Human","Humor","Hyena","SFW"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2030356-disturbance-in-the-neighborhood-hmofa","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/Xnrvz47n","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/52/e2/52e2da92-bc9b-40b5-b619-aff3d8e968aa","description":"This a little green I wrote a while ago but forgot to post anywhere.  \n  \nA family man gets a visit from a few hyena children, much to his displeasure.  \n  \n~500 words","content":"\\\u003eBe me, upper middle class family man who lives in a large house in the middle of suburbia\n\n\\\u003eHear the doorbell ring\n\n\\\u003eAh, that must be the mailman here to deliver my tenth amazon order for the week\n\n\\\u003eIt's probably either my gourmet coffee or new yoga mats the wifey ordered\n\n\\\u003eI open the door and-\n\n\\\u003eGross\n\n\\\u003eThree tiny little yeenlets stare up at me with their stumpy little muzzles, behind them is a red wagon filled with boxes\n\n\\\u003eLooks like two boys and a girl based on the flowers in her fur\n\n\\\u003eProbably stole them from Mrs. Smith's garden, I'll have to tell her to look out for yeenlets in the future\n\n\\\u003e\"H-hello mister.\" Says one of the boys. \"We're here to raise funds for our youth swimming team.\"\n\n\\\u003eImpossible, everyone knows yeens can't swim\n\n\\\u003eYet I can't help but feel the urge to entertain them\n\n\\\u003e\"And what are you trying to sell me?\"\n\n\\\u003eThe girl reaches into a box on the wagon\n\n\\\u003e\"Cookies!\" She happily answers. \"We got peanut butter ones and mint ones and chocolate ones and caramel ones and...\"\n\n\\\u003eShe goes on for what feels like an eternity\n\n\\\u003eDamnit, though I know if I give them any money they'll just buy guns, drugs, or booze I find myself unable to say no to a few boxes of minty sweets\n\n\\\u003e\"I'll take three, no, four boxes of the thin mints.\" I reluctantly state, my heart filled with shame\n\n\\\u003e\"Thank you! That'll be twenty dollars sir.\" Says the girl, retrieving my cookies\n\n\\\u003eI bring up my wallet and pull out a twenty\n\n\\\u003eGuess this is twenty more dollars in some catnip dealers pocket now\n\n\\\u003eI give her the money and she gives me my cookies\n\n\\\u003eThe future gang members wave goodbye and pull their cart away\n\n\\\u003eI wave back with a forced smile\n\n\\\u003eHow many bullets for a ghettoblaster can a twenty buy, I wonder\n\n\\\u003eI close and lock the door behind, moving to the kitchen\n\n\\\u003eThere I'm greeted by my boar wife and our litter of piglets\n\n\\\u003eShe's got her top off and is breastfeeding our two newest additions while at the same being snout deep in a bowl of cereal\n\n\\\u003eIt's spilling all over the table but I don't mind, she'll just lick it up later\n\n\\\u003eShe stops snorting and huffing for a few moments to look up at me\n\n\\\u003e\"What did you get?\"\n\n\\\u003e\"Just some cookies dear.\"\n\n\\\u003e\"For me? You shouldn't have!\"\n\n\\\u003eShe saunters over and snatches one of the boxes, tearing it open with a tusk and gobbling down a few of the minty desserts\n\n\\\u003eGod, the tusks on this woman are enough to make a man weak in the knees\n\n\\\u003eShe wipes the crumbs from her mouth and readjusts the two nursing piglets\n\n\\\u003e\"So, have my yoga mats come in yet?\"\n\n\\\u003e\"No dear. Not yet.\"\n\n\\\u003eShe huffs and walks away\n\n\\\u003e\"Damnit, how am I supposed to impress that bitch across the street when I can't practice anywhere! Downward dog my fat fucking ass.\"\n\n\\\u003eShe walks away and I can't help but stare at her jiggly posterior and swinging tail\n\n\\\u003eDayum","series":{"name":"Garden of Greens (Anthology)","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2030354-orange-mocha-frappuccino-wifwolf.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2030360-diamonds-in-the-dark-adhg.json"}}