# JIH Chapter 2: Knife to Meet You

Author: Dextrose Overdose
Tags: Adventure, Alien, Cave, Fantasy, Female, Human, Isekai, Magic, Male, Monster, Salamander, Sword, knife

Jack, an unassuming holiday traveler, finds himself in a cave with unusual creatures.

It was a trick.

 

It had to be, there was no other explanation.&nbsp;&nbsp;I waved my phone around, trying to acclimate my eyes to the poor lighting.&nbsp;&nbsp;I sloshed through ankle deep water as I wandered back and forth where the door had been.&nbsp;&nbsp;It must be fiberglass walls shaped to look like stone.&nbsp;&nbsp;The same goes for those stalagmites, they had to be fake.&nbsp;&nbsp;Airplanes don't just drop you off inside a cave, that's ridiculous.&nbsp;&nbsp;I put my hand on the wall.&nbsp;&nbsp;The surface was slimy, wet and sure as hell felt like stone.&nbsp;&nbsp;Try as I might I could find no sign of the entryway that had been there only moments before.&nbsp;&nbsp;I attempted to beat the pommel of the knife against it but it was unyielding.&nbsp;&nbsp;All I succeeded in doing was making loud clanking noises.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Hey!&nbsp;&nbsp;Let me out!"

 

The only answer was a roar from something in the cave with me. Whatever that was, it was getting closer.&nbsp;&nbsp;I quickly turned the phone in the direction that I thought it was coming from, but it was difficult to tell from the echo.&nbsp;&nbsp;The light barely seemed to go past a few yards before everything became empty abyss.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

I turned my phone around to examine the screen.&nbsp;&nbsp;At the top it was showing zero bars with an indicator that meant it was searching for service.&nbsp;&nbsp;Next to that was the charge indicator that read 58%.&nbsp;&nbsp;Tucking the big knife under my arm, I began poking at the settings.&nbsp;&nbsp;It should have a flashlight option on it somewhere, but I couldn't for the life of me remember how to turn it on. To my right there was splashing water that was quickly getting louder.&nbsp;&nbsp;My heart started to hammer away as the reality of the situation—no matter how unlikely it was—was settling in. I was in a cave somewhere underground, in complete darkness, and something unseen, quite large, and possibly dangerous was closing in on me.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

The sloshing footsteps were almost on top of me, accompanied by the sound of a hiss.&nbsp;&nbsp;The footsteps approached with zeal and the sound of thrashing water.&nbsp;&nbsp;It had seen me and was charging!&nbsp;&nbsp;Unable to find the flashlight on my phone I quickly switched to the camera, raised it in front of me and touched the button.

 

The phone flashed brightly and briefly illuminated the cave.&nbsp;&nbsp;Something huge and white reared up and let out a horrific shriek.&nbsp;&nbsp;Unable to completely discern what it was, I took another picture.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was something slimy and monstrous.&nbsp;&nbsp;The creature screamed again and splashed down into the water, drenching me with the foul-smelling, warm fluid up to my chest and nearly dousing my phone.&nbsp;&nbsp;A third picture and I caught a glimpse of a long, white tail with pink spots as the beast fled.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

I stood for a moment, completely frozen in place with stark terror at what I had just seen.&nbsp;&nbsp;If the monster hadn't drenched me, the front of my pants would have been warm and wet anyway.&nbsp;&nbsp;My only reaction was to keep pressing the camera even after the threat had fled.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

I finally shook myself back to my senses.&nbsp;&nbsp;I looked down at my phone to flip through the pictures I had just taken.&nbsp;&nbsp;Empty cave, empty cave, empty cave, empty cave… tail…

 

The monster was massive, but I had no real reference for its size.&nbsp;&nbsp;Somewhere between bigger than a horse and smaller than an elephant.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was long and serpentine with at least six sets of legs.&nbsp;&nbsp;White as a sheet with light pink polka dots on smooth, amphibian skin.&nbsp;&nbsp;A huge, wide head with an equally gigantic mouth.&nbsp;&nbsp;Inside its mouth were thousands of sharp teeth.&nbsp;&nbsp;Even its tongue and upper palate were lined with them.&nbsp;&nbsp;On the sides of its head were exposed gills, like an axolotl or a waterdog.&nbsp;&nbsp;It had tiny, beady eyes.&nbsp;&nbsp;Not just two of them, I counted four pairs.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

I had to get out of the cave.

 

Now that the looming danger had gone it was easy to find the flashlight on my phone.&nbsp;&nbsp;I swept the light around me.&nbsp;&nbsp;I was in a large chamber with a ceiling so high that the light couldn't reach it.&nbsp;&nbsp;I only knew there had to be a ceiling because of the long, slender stalactites that protruded from the dark, some reaching to the floor.&nbsp;&nbsp;Everywhere I turned the light I had a sense that something was moving away just beyond where it could reach.&nbsp;&nbsp;I didn't like that I couldn't see the dangers around me, but there was some comfort in the fact that they were afraid of the light.&nbsp;&nbsp;Judging from the pictures I had taken I probably didn't want to see them anyway.&nbsp;&nbsp;I made one final attempt to find the doorway.&nbsp;&nbsp;Even with the flashlight I could find nothing.&nbsp;&nbsp;However, I found my luggage bobbing in the water.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Great," I muttered.&nbsp;&nbsp;Everything in it was going to be soaked with vile cave water.&nbsp;&nbsp;I picked it up, it was heavy and dripping.

 

“Just great."&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

At least it had wheels, even though they were barely of any use on the uneven, wet floor.&nbsp;&nbsp;I started walking, dragging the bag behind me through the muck.&nbsp;&nbsp;I had no clue which way to go, but away from the direction the white and pink mutant salamander monster had gone was good enough for the moment.&nbsp;&nbsp;If I ran into another one of them that wasn't afraid of the light, I don't know what I would do.

 

At that point I remembered that I had a weapon on me.&nbsp;&nbsp;The knife was still under my arm, but I had my phone in one hand and my luggage in the other.&nbsp;&nbsp;If I needed to, how was I supposed to use it?&nbsp;&nbsp;I found a spot in the cave that wasn't wet and I opened my luggage.&nbsp;&nbsp;I rummaged around the sopping contents until I found my necktie and fastened it around my head as a makeshift "Rambo" headband.&nbsp;&nbsp;Tucking the phone in at my forehead created a serviceable headlamp, keeping the light where I was looking and out of my eyes.&nbsp;&nbsp;The added benefit was it kept the phone from falling into the water as they're want to do.&nbsp;&nbsp;The manufacturer promised it was waterproof, but I didn't feel like testing that claim.&nbsp;&nbsp;I took off my jacket.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was fine for the snowy winter, but the cave was hot and I was sweating.&nbsp;&nbsp;I thought about taking off my long sleeved shirt too, but I felt better having something between me and whatever was dripping down from the ceiling of the cave.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

I briefly considered tossing the jacket away, but I didn't have the heart.&nbsp;&nbsp;I tied it snugly around my waist before I stuffed the knife sheath under it.&nbsp;&nbsp;I drew the weapon smoothly out of the scabbard, holding the blade aloft like a larp nerd pretending to be a knight.&nbsp;&nbsp;All I was lacking was a damsel clutching my leg to complete the illusion.&nbsp;&nbsp;I turned the weapon in my hand and the light glinted off the steel.&nbsp;&nbsp;At least I think it was steel.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was an odd purplish metal blade with a single, sweeping edge about a foot in length.&nbsp;&nbsp;Not exactly a _Conan the Barbarian_ caliber weapon.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was dainty, having almost no weight at all, but elegant and fit in my hand nicely.

 

The knife suddenly vibrated in my hand.&nbsp;&nbsp;“Hi! &nbsp;How are you doing?"&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“What the—?" I spit out in surprise as I dropped the weapon.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;It clattered on the stone floor and slid down into the water.&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Blub… blub… blub…" the water bubbled where the knife had fallen.&nbsp;&nbsp;I approached cautiously.&nbsp;&nbsp;Did that really happen?&nbsp;&nbsp;I reached in and pulled it out.

 

“Oh, wow!"&nbsp;&nbsp;The knife had a cheery woman's voice.&nbsp;&nbsp;“I thought I was going to drown!&nbsp;&nbsp;But then I remembered that I don't breathe.&nbsp;&nbsp;Ha-ha!&nbsp;&nbsp;Oh wait, that water stinks.&nbsp;&nbsp;How can I smell that?&nbsp;&nbsp;Gross!"&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“You can talk?" I noted the obvious with astonishment.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“I can?&nbsp;&nbsp;Neat!&nbsp;&nbsp;That means we have something in common!"&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

I turned the knife over, looking for some type of microphone or something.&nbsp;&nbsp;Maybe this whole situation an elaborate prank by one of those Youtubers with more money than sense.&nbsp;&nbsp;Decided to hijack my vacation for a few million hits.

 

“Hey!&nbsp;&nbsp;Don't look up a lady's pommel without her permission!" the knife admonished me.&nbsp;&nbsp;“What sorta girl do you think I am?"&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Sorry," I said, quickly turning the sword right side up.&nbsp;&nbsp;I didn't realize there was etiquette to this.

 

“Well…" it hummed pleasantly in my hand, feeling a little warmer, “...I suppose it's okay.&nbsp;&nbsp;You are kinda cute, in a meaty, fleshy, sort of way."&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Thank you?" I replied uneasily.&nbsp;&nbsp;Being called “cute" by an inanimate object was a new one for me.&nbsp;&nbsp;“It's just that I've never seen a knife that could talk before."&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“_KNIFE_?" the blade pulsated irritably.&nbsp;&nbsp;“I'll have you know I identify as a _sword_, thank-you-very-much!&nbsp;&nbsp;I mean, I'm a short sword, but still totally swordy and not knifey at all."&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Okay, I'm sorry," I apologized again.&nbsp;&nbsp;“It must have been the light.&nbsp;&nbsp;I can see how “swordy" you are now."&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Really?&nbsp;&nbsp;I mean… uh... yes, of course you can!&nbsp;&nbsp;Erm… thank you.&nbsp;&nbsp;So… um… I suppose you're my new master.&nbsp;&nbsp;Do you have a name?"&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

“Jack."

 

“Master Jack," it tested my name.&nbsp;&nbsp;“I guess that's an okay name."

 

I shook my head.&nbsp;&nbsp;Seems I was the proud owner of a ditzy knife with self-image issues. I finally accepted that it wasn't a trick at all.&nbsp;&nbsp;What was really happening is that I was dreaming.&nbsp;&nbsp;That's why it seemed real even though nothing made any sense.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was a very vivid dream, to be sure, but I was definitely asleep.&nbsp;&nbsp;Probably still on the airplane, snoring away with drool running down my shoulder.&nbsp;&nbsp;Hopefully not sitting in a pool of piss as well.

 

“What's your name?"&nbsp;&nbsp;Even as the question left my mouth it felt like a weird thing to ask of an object.

 

“I've had a lot of names given to me by lots of masters," the sword said.&nbsp;&nbsp;“Knightbane, The Singing Edge, Purple Vorpal, Saf Crusher, Shut-the-Hell-Up, and Zoe, just to name a few."&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

I grinned.&nbsp;&nbsp;“I like Zoe."

 

The sword made a huff.&nbsp;&nbsp;“Poo, I sorta like Knightbane," it grumbled, “but Zoe is fine."

 

"I suppose I should say it's nice to meet you, Zoe."&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

"It's nice to meet you too, Master!" it said with enthusiasm.&nbsp;&nbsp;"So, uh… now that we know each other are we gonna kill that ugly thing sneaking up on you or what?"&nbsp;

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/214B34rm
Part of the series Jack's Incidental Holiday
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