{"sf1_id":2176860,"sf2_id":"YnLBYNxe","title":"Chasing the Sun - Chapter 64: Let Us Start Again","author":"hashtse_apxan","words":4250,"posted_at":"2024-09-09T17:51:56.000Z","tags":["Character Development","Drama","Friendship","Gay","Gay Relationships","Leopard","M/M","No-Yiff","Panther","Plot Development","Romance","Series","Slow burn","Story Progression","Story Series","Wolf","walk"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2176860-chasing-the-sun-chapter-64-let-us-start-again","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/YnLBYNxe","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/8c/8b/8c8b3c63-e157-498f-aaef-9b8192f32d61","description":"Baby steps... baby steps to trust each other...","content":"Kevin had always been very cute when he was enthusiastic.\n\n“Come on, you grandpa. The sale is gonna end soon!\" The wolf looked back at him, smiling wide and tail wagging. The mall in front of them looked lively, as usual on a weekend night.\n\nOcto just pocketed his hand with a smile, following the wolf inside.\n\nFollowing the wolf through the sea of people, they walked to the supermarket part of the mall. Once arrived, Kevin wasted no time getting a trolley and walking to the shelves, putting some items there as they were still in stock. He chuckled, letting the wolf lead him at his pace.\n\nAs he followed the wolf around the supermarket, he looked around. It was quite crowded here, and the noise was starting to annoy him. Kevin, however, still looked excited, even comfortable. There was a spring in his steps, especially when they walked towards the meat section.\n\n“So, chef, what do you recommend for meat?\" He asked him, ready to get whatever he told him.\n\nOcto looked around the cooler, especially at the discounted meat cuts. They were buying groceries for themselves and Kevin's family, so he had to be conscious of the prices. “Well, what do you want? Chicken or duck or something else?\"\n\n“Hmm.\" Kevin looked back at the cooler. He picked a discounted chicken package and investigated the packaging, making sure to also sniff it. Canines and their strong sense of smell, Octo thought in amusement. “Good enough.\" He said before putting it into the trolley.\n\n“Wait, no. This one is better.\"\n\nTaking the package from his hand, Kevin looked at it, then shrugged and put it into the trolley. “Now ducks. Also, do you want some doves?\"\n\n“Sure, here's my regular.\"\n\n“Isn't it a bit expensive? Like, we're not gonna make steak with it anyway.\"\n\n“Are we?\"\n\nOcto grinned as he asked that. Kevin instead chuckled and put it in. “Aye, chef.\"\n\nDone with the meat section, they walked away. The panther looked at the trolley; there was already quite a pile there thanks to Kevin putting almost all the items on sale.\n\nNow by the last shelves in the food section, the wolf slowed down. He looked up intensely at the milk cartons on display, then put two cartons of almond and oat milk into the trolley. Thankfully, their favourite brand was on sale, and 25% no less. Octo put two more cartons in, to which Kevin chuckled.\n\nFinally done with the food section, they walked away. Kevin was taking his time looking around the noodle shelves, putting some of them into the tray. Octo watched him, curious. “I thought you don't really like noodles.\"\n\n“It's for Tom.\" answered the wolf with a smile. “Wolf loves noodles.\"\n\nOcto chuckled. “Yeah, that's true.\"\n\nThey continued browsing around, with Kevin looking around for stuff that caught his fancy and Octo following him. Occasionally, he'd put some stuff into the trolley, but for the most part he let the wolf lead him. As he did so, he couldn't help but watch the wolf. Kevin was quiet now, a contrast to earlier when they arrived. He looked deep in thought, occasionally smiling when he looked at some stuff on the shelves. His tail was also still aside from the occasional waving.\n\nOcto put a box of biscuits into the trolley and asked him. “You alright?\"\n\n“Yeah, I'm alright, just…\" Kevin smiled. “Feeling nostalgic, I guess.\" He reached for a box of cookies and put it in, tail now wagging happily.\n\n“Mhm?\" He hummed, not convinced by the answer.\n\n“Really, dude, just nostalgic.\" The wolf laughed and wrapped his arm around his neck. “Come on, let's continue.\"\n\nOcto looked at Kevin as they walked to the hygiene section. The wolf did look fine, and his tail was still wagging gently. He figured that the wolf just liked that there was a big sale tonight, but that didn't seem to be the case since he always seemed to be happy whenever they went out.\n\nHe was about to let it go and just enjoy the night when Kevin spoke up again. “You know, it's just… I feel happy like this. Dunno, I just am.\"\n\nLooking up at him, Octo asked, “What do you mean?\"\n\n“Just… happy being in the crowd, I guess.\" Kevin chuckled before letting him go. “Like, I'm not just some outsider who can only watch and not join, but I'm actually part of it. I know it's usually the other way around, people usually want to be left alone or at least not in the rush, but I don't know, I'm just happy there.\"\n\nThere was a glint in the wolf's eyes, nostalgic longing behind that joyful face. He also smiled, not smirked like usual. Octo couldn't help but smile along; though he didn't really understand what he meant by that, it wasn't something strange. There was a charm in being in a crowd, he reckoned. “Yeah, guess I can see that.\"\n\nKevin gave a small, gentle laugh. “Sorry to bring the mood down, though. “Guess I'm getting too sappy for this kinda shit.\"\n\n“No, no, it's alright.\" Octo quickly answered, wanting to make the wolf feel comfortable. “It's really alright, wolf.\"\n\nHe patted the panther's shoulder. “Let's go to the cashier and pay, don't wanna buy more than what we can carry.\"\n\nIt was almost always like this with Kevin, Octo thought. He wasn't complaining, of course, he knew that everyone had different experiences and needed different ways to open up. Heck, he wasn't even without blame; he still had some reservations about opening up to the wolf. He had his reasons, of course, but he was sure Kevin also did.\n\nThey talked as they continued browsing the mall, but it was only about easy, regular topics. Octo was still thankful for that, though. He wanted to get some food before going home, but Kevin reminded him that they still have food from earlier this morning.\n\n“Dude, the pasta soup you made is fire!\" The wolf exclaimed as they walked past the restaurant section. “Let's finish that tonight before it goes to waste.\"\n\nOcto chuckled at his enthusiasm.\n\nExiting the mall, Kevin was already leading him to the bus stop, but he decided it would be nice to walk home. Besides, they didn't buy that much, and they could always take a bus or tram when they got tired. “Hey, how about walking home?\"\n\nTurning to him, the wolf gave a puzzled look. “You sure?\"\n\n“It's just what, 3 km? 3,5 km? It's not that far.\" He shrugged.\n\nKevin looked at the bus stop, then at their bags, then shrugged. “Alright, sure.\"\n\nThe city was very much still lively around them. They walked through busy streets, chatting and commenting about the city and comparing it to Ausalt-on-Haye. Octo knew he made the right decision to come here; Barrowisle felt much more welcoming.\n\n“You know what's funny? I used to wish that the bus route would extend to at least near the road to my old house. I even made a makeshift schedule for it because that meant I could go to school faster! But it's still not done when I go to high school, and then I just kinda gave up and joked that it's gonna be finished when I finally get a job.\" Kevin laughed. “And now I have a job _and_ have already moved out yet it's _still_ not built yet!\"\n\nOcto laughed along. “They just didn't care, did they?\"\n\n“They care bollocks, _knap!_ My mum used to vote for them because they promised to extend the bus network. Well, guess how long has it been?\"\n\n“Long enough that it's now your turn to care bollocks, it seems.\"\n\nThat made the wolf guffaw and punch the panther's shoulder.\n\n“I mean, wolf, I didn't even take the bus much and even then I still wanted them just because I wanted to sneak out more often!\"\n\nKevin shook his head gently. “Can't you just sneak out like, you know, walk out the door and go outside?\"\n\n“Nah, security cameras all over.\" Octo pointed at a visible security camera on a hotel lobby they happen to walk by. “And I was, to quote my dad, 'obligated to be out of the house with supervision', which just meant that either my parents know, or my butler knows, or even worse, my butler accompanies me.\" He shuddered. “I mean, don't blame Nico. I used to be a rascal growing up and I'm pretty sure I gave that poor tiger a hard time.\"\n\n“Fuuuck, you mean we could've met and stolen some soda bottles in front of 8-12s?\"\n\n“Exactly! And why stop at soda bottles? I could steal an entire 8-12!\"\n\nTheir thundering guffaw made some passersby avoid them as they walked.\n\n“Damn, panther, sounds like you were even more of a brat than me, huh? I mean, stealing an 8-12? You mean keys or something?\" Kevin nudged him, shifting his package to his other hand.\n\n“Yep. And, uh, don't tell anyone.\" He leant closer to the wolf. “I used to be a bit more… guess you could say, careless with money. I even wanted to 'buy a school' so that I could get away with skipping classes. And why did I skip classes in the first place? Because I kept acing them.\" giving a fond laugh, he moved away.\n\n“Duuuude. I skipped classes because I kept failing the exams!\"\n\n“My parents were 100% against it of course. My mom even met the class teacher and told him to give me more difficult lessons and homework. Oh yeah, this was also around the time I used to lock myself in my dad's study.\"\n\n“Did you ace the more difficult lessons and homework?\"\n\n“Actually, no! And back then it made me both angry and determined.\" He grinned at the wolf, then looked away with a sheepish face. “Also a bit afraid because I didn't want to show them to my parents.\"\n\n“What, they'd punish you for not acing the classes?\"\n\n“Yeah. They'd take away my PlayBox and Gamekid for a week if I get lower than 90, and after I get a laptop, my laptop, too.\"\n\n“Yo what the fuck? Lower than _90?!\"_\n\n“It is what it is.\" He shrugged.\n\nThey walked into a small, lively park. Some were just hanging out, while some looked like they were working on their group homework. Children were playing happily, some in the playground whilst some in the park area. Octo chuckled when Kevin yelled at a group of teenagers playing basketball, roasting them for bad aim and giving them some tips to play. They invited him to play, and the wolf considered it before turning the offer down and thanking them for the invitation.\n\nAfter that, they walked into the quieter parts of the city. With residential areas all around and occasional shops and coffeehouses, the air is gentler here. Kevin teased him again about being bested by Max when it came to making coffee, to which he just embarrassedly admitted defeat. He took his phone, glancing at the clock before pocketing it back. They've only been walking for almost an hour.\n\n“You know… I… I still can't believe I'm here right now.\"\n\nUpon hearing that, Octo looked at the wolf. “What do you mean?\"\n\n“It's… uh… well, just glad to be here, that's all. I wasn't exactly… I guess you could say, I didn't know if I deserve what I have now. Wait, it's your turn carrying this bag.\"\n\nHe took the bag from the wolf, not saying anything to encourage him to continue.\n\n“L-let's just drop it.\" Kevin shook his head, a gentle smile on his face.\n\n“No, Kevin, please.\" He put his free hand around the wolf's shoulders to reassure him. “It's alright.\"\n\nThere was no answer for a while, until finally the wolf grunted and his ears went down. “Don't laugh at me for being sappy, you got it?\"\n\n“Absolutely. I won't.\"\n\nKevin took a deep breath, as if steeling his resolve. “My family wasn't the best, you know. My dad…\" Octo noticed the tension in his body and his raised hackles as he said that. “He used to beat me, well, us, me, my brother, and my mother when I was little.\" The tension seemed to dissipate as quickly as it appeared, though the raised hackles were still there. It seemed as if the wolf was admitting defeat. “I didn't know it back then, but he didn't just beat us physically, but also mentally.\" He gave a dry chuckle. “I'm sure you'd laugh if I told you that I used to be a cry-baby, small and weak. Even my brother used to pick on me.\"\n\nOcto did not laugh, only looking down in acknowledgement. Letting the wolf tell his story.\n\n“Did you notice the small scar on my right shoulder when we first had sex? If you do, well, that one is thanks to my dad. And a spoon.\"\n\nHe noticed that not the first time they had sex, but the first time he saw the wolf topless. “A spoon?\" He let the wolf's shoulders go.\n\n“Yeah.\" He chuckled again. “One positive thing my dad gave me and my brother is his stature. And his long fur. And the ability to make anything a weapon when needed. I remember cowering in front of him when I gave him my failed exam sheet and how his head hit the upper cabinet in our kitchen. I also remember hitting that cabinet a few times, so our heights weren't that much different.\"\n\nHe nodded again, listening intently.\n\n“He left when I was finishing middle school. He left to buy some milk, and… never came back.\" He laughed mirthlessly, and Octo could see several drops of tears from his eye, one which the wolf promptly wiped away by pretending to sweep his fluff back. He also noticed that the wolf's hackles went down after saying that as if he was relieved. “Fucking dickhead ran away from his family. That's a failed wolf. Guess the best he'd ever get from us is that we didn't care.\n\n“Didn't know whether that was a bad thing or not, because I remember not caring. Heck, I even felt happy for a few days because no one would smack me for failing exams. But that quickly proved to be not good since my mom then had to work extra to provide for us. It got so bad that I remember skipping lunches because I couldn't afford it.\n\n“So yeah, I pretty much grew up poor and without a dad, or even, grew up knowing that dads aren't good. I used to bully other kids for talking about their dads. Hell, even my mom taught me how to trim my fluff! Mainly because Shaun was also becoming a fucking selfish asshole who also bullied me. Couldn't fully blame him, though. He knew dad earlier than I did, so I'm sure dad had been more severe on him. And he also pushed me to start hitting the gym, so it's not all negative. Oh, and picking fights, too. People loved to pick fights with a small, shy wolf, emphasis on 'wolf' because it's Ausalt-on-Haye we're talking about.\" He chuckled again, but it faded quickly, replaced by a deep sigh. “Only my mom kept me safe, even against my brother.\"\n\nOcto nodded, now understanding why Kevin seemed to have a soft spot for his mother as well as old ladies in general. He could be an asshole one moment and turn into a sweet, gentle lad to an old lady the next.\n\n“Maybe that's why I… I don't talk much about myself to anyone. I didn't even know what I wanted to do or even what I wanted to be. For wolves, anything can be taken as a weakness, you know, especially when… when it's my own fault. Like, I know it's not _fully_ my fault but still…\" Kevin sighed. “Sometimes, just sweeping the problem under the rug helps, even if no one likes it. In the end, no one would care anyway. But now I know it's not a healthy way to cope. I used to think that with my dad gone, all our problems also went away. It's only recently thanks to university that I realised, the problem is still there, and now it's turned even bigger.\n\n“Kinda sappy to say, but my dad might be gone, but his shadow looms long. But hey, there weren't many occasions where I could be sappy when everything could be taken as a weakness, so guess I deserve that one.\" The wolf laughed again.\n\nThey went quiet for a while, letting silence speak their feelings. The panther took in what the wolf just explained, understanding how much he really kept to himself. It wasn't pretty, but what the wolf said just now was right. Sweeping the problem under the rug would do no good. “I'm… sorry… for the way I acted all this time. If only I'd kn—\"\n\n“No, Oct, don't apologize.\" Kevin took a deep sigh and wiped his tears. “Okay, apology accepted, but it's not your fault.\"\n\n“Had I known…\"\n\nKevin gave a gentle grunt as a reply, letting the wind caress his fur.\n\nThey went silent again. To him, it felt rather awkward, but when he looked up at Kevin, he saw someone who was, while not at peace with his past, he at least was in the process of accepting it.\n\n“Well, your turn.\"\n\n“W-what?\"\n\n“Your turn to tell your sappy, corny background.\" Kevin grinned at him, trying to appear cheerful despite his wet and puffy eyes. Octo didn't push him; after all, this was what the world taught the wolf, to hide what he felt. “I'm already crying, it's now your turn. Also lemme carry that bag.\"\n\nThe panther gave the bag, then shook his head. “That bag is the bag of not-sappy, now?\"\n\nHe nudged the panther's shoulder. “It's our emotional support bag now.\"\n\n“Tch. Well…\" He trailed off, taking a deep sigh. Hands in pockets, he tried looking back at his life.\n\nWhat did he do to deserve this? He did not know. He had been trying to be a good, nice person all his life, yet he knew he was far from it. He always blamed his family, so he always thought that he was bound to it, to material pleasure that burdened them to become its guardian. He might be a good person, but his history was nothing but.\n\n“I was, uhh… well, I'm the only son of a rich family. I think you can already see the problem.\" He started, looking down. “I grew up being taught and prepared to one day take the family honour and responsibility. I used to be spoiled like hell, you know, imagine a stereotypical rich kid who only wants what he wants, yeah, I used to be that kid.\"\n\n“Wait, seriously? I'd never imagined!\"\n\nHe smiled drily. “I know, right? But that's not… that doesn't show the reason. Already from primary school I was given responsibilities one after another. Acing classes, taking care of my room, tending the garden, and I used to hate every second of it. I mean, we had a butler and lots of maids, surely they could do that? But no, my parents said I need to learn to 'bear the responsibilities', as they said.\n\n“My little brother was born when I was six. Sure, my parents told me that he'd become my responsibility, but it was the first one I actually wanted to do. I loved my brother more than anything, even… more than my parents. When I did all the chores, I thought of meeting my little brother afterwards.\" He smiled at the thought. “He was… well, he was the dumb leopard who kept messing my bedroom and getting me to chase his tail.\"\n\nKevin chuckled at that. Octo chuckled along, then he took another deep breath.\n\n“He then passed away at nine years old from cancer.\"\n\nKevin's expression instantly changed. “Shit, panther, I'm really sorry to hear that.\"\n\n“It's alright. It's been… it's been so long.\" He crossed his arms. “But yeah, it was kind of a turning point for my family. I locked myself in my room after the funeral, angry at my parents for letting that happen, and my parents decided to not have any more kids after that. Not only that, they also… it felt like they realised that they'd been giving me so many chores and responsibilities, so they reduced them. With that, I was allowed to focus more on classes, but the damage had already been done.\"\n\nOcto chuckled. “If you're thinking of a dark, brooding panther when you think of me, well, that was the moment. I focused on myself so much that I barely had any friends. I began taking what my parents said seriously, and they did give me more attention, but I was already rather numb.\n\n“It was also around the time I began to take the 'family' part seriously, which meant I went with my parents to rich people's business, y'know, the boring, all-for-reputation stuff. And it also soured my opinion as well as wellbeing. I mean, I was a high-schooler, but instead of homework and friends and communities, I instead focused on reputation and appearance. It fucking sucked, you know, basically they didn't allow you to have a personality. You must be perfect. Everything had to be meticulous. There was no place for imperfection.\"\n\nThere was no place for imperfection, that was the mantra he used to keep replaying in his head, there was no place for imperfection.\n\n“Inside, though, I didn't know that I'd actually been sweeping my problem under the rug, like you said. I was still devastated by my brother's death. He gave me a reason to live, corny as that is, and I didn't allow myself to look for another in fear of having it taken away from me again. I even began to resent the life I had. Sure, I had money, but… you get tired of buying all the latest and greatest until it becomes numb.\n\n“I guess that's also why I decided to move here for university. I applied to Barrowisle, moved here, and I swear it felt like a breath of fresh air. Oh yeah, if you met me during the first year, I'm sure you'd find me an arrogant panther.\" He chuckled. “Heck, even the coach got fed up with me. Still, finally I got away from the suffocating life in Ausalt-on-Haye, and I finally met people who treated me like a person, and it felt amazing. You know, Max was actually the first guy I met. We met during orientation.\" He smiled, looking at the wolf.\n\n“Really? And he made friends with you even though you were still in the brooding panther phase?\"\n\n“Yeah.\" He gave an honest chuckle. “Max is too precious, you know.\"\n\nKevin chuckled along. “Yeah, he can be precious at times.\"\n\n“He's actually also the first one I actually considered to be a friend. Adorable dog went into my dorm room to drag me to football practice. I think it was not long after the preliminaries? I forgot. The team's mood was high.\"\n\n“You both got chosen to the main team?\"\n\n“Well, not the main team, but the first-year team. It was… not long after Max became the captain if I remember correctly. Max was both the captain and the mood booster of the team.\"\n\n“Guess I can see why Tom was able to bend him over.\"\n\nThey laughed at that.\n\n“But that aside, yeah, that's my story.\" He smiled at the wolf, and his smile widened when he was pulled into an embrace. “So, if you think I'm too serious sometimes…\"\n\n“I can just drag you out of your room to football practice, noted.\" Kevin grinned.\n\nOcto shook his head fondly. “Dumb wolf.\"\n\nThat made Kevin guffaw.\n\nA warm silence settled between them, especially as Kevin softly rubbed his shoulder as if giving him reassurance. The street was lively, the sky clear, and he was thankful for what he had.\n\n“Thanks, though.\" Kevin said, making him perk up. “For telling me.\"\n\nHe looked at the wolf, and unlike the usual, he saw a soft, gentle smile there.\n\nThe wolf gave a deep breath and looked back at the street. “I never thought someone would trust me enough for that. I feel honored.\"\n\nOcto closed his eyes and smiled, echoing the wolf's feelings. “And I never thought I'd trust someone enough for that.\"\n\nKevin laughed again, shaking his shoulder.\n\nThis felt… freeing, indeed. Small steps, he remembered, small steps that mattered. He already began to trust someone. Staring at the red wolf beside him, he couldn't hold back a smile. He'd never thought he'd fall for him, this dumb, handsome, rude, and loveable wolf who gave him another perspective on life.\n\nThe wolf was so different from him, yet also so refreshing. There were so many things they disagreed on, but they managed to make compromises. He knew he couldn't expect the wolf to change, so he accepted him as he was. Rude, horny, and most of all, willing to be better.\n\nHe should strive to emulate that last one.\n\n“Hold the bag.\"\n\n“Nah, you hold it.\"\n\n“Dude, it's _our_ emotional support bag so we gotta hold it together.\"\n\nOcto rolled his eyes, then accepted the bag.","series":{"name":"Chasing the Sun","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2170343-chasing-the-sun-chapter-63-a-proper-gift.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/2199386-chasing-the-sun-chapter-65-dreaming-of-freedom.json"}}