# The Struggle In Balancing Dually Manifesting Weights

Author: Apolarbear17
Tags: Autism awareness month, External Struggles, Frustrations, Heavy Subjects, Internal Struggles, Vent Poetry, autism

So I wrote a vent poem, a fairly long one because I had things to say after hearing a specific, infamously brain wormed individual talk about autism in a way that admittedly got under my skin. It’s been a while since I wrote a poem that couldn’t fit on one page. Also it’s Autism Awareness Month! This poem is actually a couple of days old and I meant to post it sooner but got busy.   
  
As proof here’s the original post on my blog site: [https://thegoodmanscorner.wordpress.com/2025/04/21/the-struggles-in-balancing-dually-manifesting-weights/](https://thegoodmanscorner.wordpress.com/2025/04/21/the-struggles-in-balancing-dually-manifesting-weights/)

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; **The Struggles in Balancing Dually Manifesting Weights** &nbsp; 

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;By: A.X. Bueno&nbsp;

 

 

How is it weights can exist in two places at the same time&nbsp;

 

One weighing on you from the outside and the other in the mind

 

Technically neither is physical but you feel them both all the same

 

For the external one at least society can mostly be blamed&nbsp;

 

Telling you how dependent or independent you should be&nbsp;

 

All the things you should and shouldn't be expected to do

 

All because of a condition they think comes not from birth but chemicals&nbsp;

 

And don't realize it can't be separated from you&nbsp;

 

That if it affects your development then it's part of who you are&nbsp;

 

And while that can be burdensome People unwilling or unable to understand make it much harder by far&nbsp;

 

They don't see a spectrum but instead a set of static stereotypes&nbsp;

 

That will never be good enough for the typical or the "useful" too&nbsp;

 

You spend your whole life with them trying to train you out of what they think is wrong with you&nbsp;

 

Your awkward mannerisms

 

Your inability to finish school or find a job&nbsp;

 

The way you can be too sensitive or overthinking or too meticulous at times&nbsp;

 

They want you desperately to be a tax paying normal citizen&nbsp;

 

No time to accommodate your “weirdness

 

To some even asking that is practically the greatest crime&nbsp;

 

They need you to be more socially adept, to get with the program already&nbsp;

 

So they can save even more nickels and dollars and dimes&nbsp;

 

By making sure you pay taxes that they don't want going back to you&nbsp;

 

By way of social programs or handouts or other things they want to make sure are through&nbsp;

 

But best make sure to keep providing in the ways they don't believe you can do&nbsp;

 

And that's not even going into yet the weight that's lingering inside you&nbsp;

 

It varies depending on the person but I'm sure I can list what's broadly packing on the pounds

 

The need to hide parts of ourselves, the sensory issues, the fixations&nbsp;

 

Trying to follow and when necessary match this mad world's energy&nbsp;

 

The worries over misunderstandings and missed social cues&nbsp;

 

The struggle to figure out where our masks end and we begin&nbsp;

 

There's a lot of different external and internal weights&nbsp;&nbsp;

 

Weights that to us are seemingly eternally bound&nbsp;

 

And we'd adapt to them fine and grow strong in our ways&nbsp;

 

The internal ones anyway&nbsp;

 

But then from the outside there are again those desperate to make those weights shift&nbsp;

 

Who think they know what is bound to us better than we do&nbsp;

 

They think there's a shame or a sad obstacle in who we are&nbsp;

 

Some still think us sad jokes to not take seriously&nbsp;

 

And others think of us as overly dependent and/or savants&nbsp;

 

They don't realize we see through their misconceptions and when we can we laugh&nbsp;

 

We poke fun at them and sometimes ourselves&nbsp;

 

If only because this condition means too many people make jokes you miss or at your expense&nbsp;

 

We laugh to lighten the many weights we carry&nbsp;

 

And it sucks that we have to laugh sometimes to just get through&nbsp;

 

It'd be easier if we were left to determine our own weight limits&nbsp;

 

Instead of those who say they want to help us or those who want us gone&nbsp;

 

Make no mistake though help is vital&nbsp;

 

But that requires people with patience&nbsp;

 

Not those who see only potential flaws and cracks&nbsp;

 

Those who miscalculate our weight&nbsp;

 

Acting like it's existence and ours is unfortunate and wrong

 

Personally I long for these extra weights and pressures to be gone&nbsp;  
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/qmy2qRKn