{"sf1_id":254328,"sf2_id":"ve3VGaZ1","title":"This Used To Be My Eternity (Poem)","author":"SerenadeDS","words":1316,"posted_at":"2011-05-30T12:15:00.000Z","tags":["Ghost","M/F","Poem","Poetry","Transformation","Transgender","spiritual"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/254328-this-used-to-be-my-eternity-poem","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/ve3VGaZ1","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/c1/c9/c1c96054-2268-4f6f-9621-85e9f7871da1","description":"","content":"--This was written a while ago as well. Again, I was in an odd mood. I much prefer this piece though than the previous one. The title and the final line come from 'Le Portrait De Petite Cossette'--  \n  \nThere was a time when I was alone  \nInteracting with the world with but a phone  \nI hid away, in my room, my castle  \nHuman beings are too much of a hassle  \nThis was a problem, so I tried to resolve it  \nAh, hypnosis, that outta dissolve it.  \n  \nTrance came, trance went, from day to day  \nNothing seemed to get better, until thoughts went astray  \nAnd strange as it seems, what would I find?  \nBut a girl, quite young, floating free in my mind  \nShe was young, beautiful, and ripe with beauty  \nShe looked like she had a true sense of duty  \n  \nI left her quickly, wondering what I saw  \nIt wasn't long though before I answered the call  \n'This girl needs me!' I resolved rather fast,  \nSo once again, into trance I was cast  \nUpon entering though, the girl was not to be found  \nI sighed, grumbled, and kicked at the ground.  \n  \n\"Who are you?\" I asked, with a tremulous sigh  \n\"Why are you not to be seen by my eyes?\"  \nThe silence stretched for an uncomfortable hour  \nThe loss of this girl, was a loss of power  \nThen, a sound, like a soft, silent dove  \n\"I am Raine, and it is you whom I love.\"\n\n\u0026nbsp; Taken aback, I turned and saw,  \nThe girl from before, I could only gaze in awe  \nHer sapphire eyes, how they shone in the light,  \nHer pale skin, but a few shades from white  \nHer tumulous hair, blonde as the sun  \nHer ruby lips, showing, like roses redone  \n  \nShe curtseyed, I bowed, and then she spoke  \n\"Why are you here, when my form is but smoke?\"  \nI puzzled and stared, what could she mean?  \n\"Are... are you from the world in between?\"  \nShe blinked, then nodded, a soft small gesture  \n\"Yes, where my soul... has been captured.\"  \n  \nI blinked. \"Captured? What do you mean?\"  \nI was confused, was she not what she seemed?  \n\"I have been here, for many, many years  \nWaiting for my pleas to not fall on deaf ears,  \nSo please, please, take me from this place  \nI promise to remain in your good grace.\"  \n  \nIt wasn't easy to refuse, what could I say?  \nThis girl needed help, it was her lucky day.  \nI extended a hand, smiled, and said.  \n\"Well come with me, and rest your pretty head.\"  \nI retreated from the trance, bringing with me Raine.  \nLittle did I know, this would one day be my bane.  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; Upon bringing her home, one thing was seen  \nHer dress was far more elegant than that of my jeans  \nPerhaps my situation or thoughts were dire,  \nAs I slowly began to alter my attire  \nFrom shirts to suits, from jeans to pants  \nI thought for sure this would be my chance  \n  \nHowever, despite her claims, adoration was not found  \nSo I tried to impress her, with methods less than sound  \nI asked her of her life - both before and after her passing  \nHowever, she was secretive, very little amassing  \nShe told me of life, she told me of death  \nBut not of what she said to me with her first breath  \n  \nI was on the verge of giving up my pursuit  \nShe was too quiet, almost as it was her repute  \nI sighed, and backed off from her personal life  \nRemembering it was only causing her strife  \nI left her to her own devices for now  \nWith but a simple word, and a very slight bow  \n  \nOne day came, I was standing alone,  \nI heard her words, almost a soft, calm drone  \n\"Why have you left me Lover? We've barely begun.\"  \nI sighed. \"Because I believe you mistake me for the wrong one,\"  \nI stood there, silent, staring with a pallid face,  \nAnd then I felt her arms, a spiritual embrace.  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; \"I am not mistaken,\" She said in my ear  \n\"When I spoke, you did not mishear  \nI've been looking and searching for one like you  \nAnd just as we meet, you believe we are through,\"  \nI sighed and leaned back, her voice so soft  \nPerhaps I wasn't wrong, my thoughts were aloft  \n  \nI smiled softly, she did care after all for me  \nHer soft gentle smile was all I needed to see  \nBefore I knew it though, I was beginning to fall  \nPassing through Raine, until I couldn't see her at all  \nFaster and faster I continued my descent  \nBut what had happened? What had this meant?  \n  \nSurrounded by blackness, without a single light  \nUnsure of what had happened, had it shifted to night?  \nNo, that couldn't be, night never grew this dark  \nSo where was I in this land where life is stark?  \nI curl against myself, in the land of black  \nPerhaps closing my eyes would lead me back  \n  \nMy eyes opened to a familiar sight  \nMy bed, my pillows, my sheets - I was alright!  \nI pulled myself from the entangling covers  \nI was alive! Now Raine and I could be lovers.  \nBut something was wrong, something felt off  \nI looked over myself, and choked out a cough  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; My legs, they weren't mine, nor were my hands  \nNot my face, my body, feet where I stand!  \nWait... my face... It looked like mine...  \nBut it was femenine, softer, beauty divine.  \nI was shorter, looked younger and somewhat familiar  \nBut even a good friend wouldn't see where I was similar  \n  \nI looked to the sky, asking what was going on  \n\"Where are you Raine?! Where have you gone?!\"  \nSilence, and then, a small soft tone.  \nIt was Raine's voice again, I wasn't alone!  \nBut, strange, she was nowhere to be seen,  \nBut there was it coming from? What did it mean?!  \n  \n\"Thank you so much, you've helped me a lot.  \n\"Now I can live, instead of waiting to rot.\"  \nI blinked, and puzzled, what did she say?  \nI tried asking, but my words held no sway  \nShe smiled again, only this time, I did as well  \nOnly then did realization become clear as a bell.  \n  \nIn trying to gain Raine's adoration,  \nI had triggered a transformation  \nNo longer would I go through life as a boy,  \nBut rather, a girl, which Raine would enjoy.  \nTears welled up in my eyes as my fate sinked in  \nI wasn't a girl! I was male within!  \n  \n\n\u0026nbsp; Then Raine spoke, and my mind went numb  \nIt seems, to her will, I was starting to succumb  \nI asked her why, why had she done this?  \nTrying to find out before I fell to the abyss  \nShe smiled that smile, as I awaited her reply  \nWhat had I done to lose myself as a guy?  \n  \n\"For years I waited, and waited for one  \nWho would find me, and cause this curse to be undone  \nI waited, and waited, and almost gave up hope,  \nAnd then you appeared, and I believed I could cope.  \nRest assured, I sitll love you, for breaking my curse,  \nIf I hadn't found you then, things would have gotten worse.\"  \n  \nI silently wept as my will ebbed away,  \nMy self was leaving, I had been betrayed,  \nI wept, and I wept, until the tears stopped their flow,  \nAnd then, I felt my thoughts begin to slow  \nSoon I would be gone, just a faded memory,  \nAnd Raine would live on, wild and free.  \n  \nI asked one more time, why had she done it?  \nShe smiled that smile, and answered to wit:  \n\"All those years I waited, and waited for you,  \nYou came, I was elated, there was nothing else to do.  \nFinally, the answer came to my question that was causing me strife...  \n'Who will love me enough to sacrifice his very life?'\"  \n  \n\n"}