{"sf1_id":280666,"sf2_id":"qmyggzP1","title":"cursed ramblings!","author":"TGryzor","words":591,"posted_at":"2011-08-25T20:38:00.000Z","tags":["Hate","Love","Pain","Sorrow"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/280666-cursed-ramblings","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/qmyggzP1","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=280666\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"","content":"these ramblings is what happens when i get too much time on my hands and set my mind on a trail of an inner whirlpool that wont let me sleep, so i wrote them down for once and i dont really know what to call these \"ramblings\". personally i view everything from my mind that i put into text/paper, a horrible abomination. if you like it im ok with that. ( oh and theres nothing wrong with me, i just got bored and started speaking to myself.)\n\nwhats this? im alive again. but how can this be?\n\ni can feel something inside of me.\n\nit feels so good but where do i go?\n\ni feel like im going to explode.\n\ni want to see you\n\nbut do you still even care about me?\n\nno where to run, no were to hide i feel like im burning inside,\n\nno one to stay no one to see that this person is still me.\n\nso what do i do? i can not deny, that this thing eating me alive.\n\nno one to listen, no one to care but ill make it through this i swear.\n\neveryday i search for that place where i can be free\n\nbut now that ive found it, the only thing wrong with it is me.\n\nwhat is paradise when your all alone\n\nno one to hold no one to love\n\nno one to say that ill miss you every day\n\nwhy is it that when i go your so close\n\nbut when i stay your so far away?\n\nthis, is not my time, i must move on, cause i will not pay for your crimes, this life is so unfair, when everything turns on a dime, take my trust, throw it away, so i swear to god ill fuck you up one day. i will not sleep i will not speak, until i give you your sweet release.\n\nif you want my heart you can take it\n\nbut you need to know that i cant live without it.\n\nnothing makes sense\n\nwhen they get their laughs\n\nits at my expense\n\noh god, what do i do?\n\nwont someone please show me\n\nwhat a kind heart can do?\n\ni am just so eager\n\ni cant even wait\n\nfor someone to open my cage.\n\nso far off the road\n\nso lost out in space\n\nnot enough words to describe my place.\n\nwhat have i become? this insturment of death\n\nused by everyone, family and friends\n\nare all just bugs crawling in my head.\n\ni toss and turn, all night in my bed\n\nevery sound in the dark, that fills me with dread.\n\nsleeping with both eyes open\n\na knife in my hand, waiting for someone or something\n\nto enter my house of the damned.\n\nwhat am i doing? i need to get back out there\n\nand give them a scare, back into submission\n\nthey know im here to continue my mission.\n\nis this what i will continue to be?\n\ni wish someone would take control of me.\n\nbut until then i will fear no evil,\n\nfor i am a fate worse than death.\n\nbring me to my knees, make me pleade, make me beg, if you can do these, you will be inside my head, give me pleasure, give me pain, aslong as theres a reward in this dream, be my mistress, but you better not make it easy on me, i will not stop i will not cease to give you what you seek, but i will expect a treat.\n\n  \n  \n\n"}