# Feeling Red

Author: Alexander Crestfallen
Tags: Coyote, Fox, Gay, M/M, Sci-Fi, Short Story

Well, I had an idea a while back and this is what came out of it. I'm not sure if this is it, but I had fun writing it either way. 

I'd also like to give RuthofPern a big 'Thank-you' for the help he's given me.

* * *

"Hey Red!"

 

I fumbled my next step as the call drew my attention to the end of the hall where my colleagues were standing at the door, waving at me.

 

"You know that was our last performance, right?"

 

Lyle was the one talking.  He was always the one that talked for the group.  Probably because he was a wolf, and, I suppose, a natural leader.  His cute looks, boyish charm, and natural charisma were probably the main reason people flocked to him.  Personally, I didn't see what everyone else did, but he was popular and well-liked, so who was I to judge?  I normally didn't mind his antics so much, but it did irritate and annoy me on occasions.  Calling me 'Red,' for example.  He also had a habit of voicing his thoughts as if we all shared them.  But then, I suppose the majority of us did, even if I often didn't agree with them.

 

I did, however, still my flailing feet and regain my balance, saving some of my dignity in front of my co-workers. Although ex-co-workers now would probably be the best term. I'm talking about the word you call people you worked with for couple years and then stopped being their work-buddies because you aren't working with them anymore.

 

Of course, they didn't know that. They'd learn that come Monday.

 

I also knew perfectly well that tonight was our last performance and had to stop myself from snorting at Lyle's ridiculous question.  How could I not, when it was single most talked about topic for the past few weeks?  

But I wasn't going to tell Lyle that to his face - he wasn't someone you could easily reason with, and while he might sport some moderately stellar looks, sarcasm usually passed him by.  Instead, I walked to the edge of the stage and sat down, looking at the congregation that was looking at me expectantly.

 

"Yeah," I called back.  "I know."

 

It was short and simple, something to get through Lyle's thick-head.  Even he could understand a simple 'Yes.'

 

"We're going out for a celebration drink, you coming along?"

 

"Nah, I think I'll skip this one.  Maybe I'll join you guys next time," I replied.

 

That was my rote response and everyone knew it.  It was what happened after every performance: They - and by 'They' I mean Lyle - would ask if I wanted to go out for some drinks and I would decline.  That's how things were, and tonight was no different.  At least, not in that way.  Not in the standard back-and-forth that usually happened after every performance.

 

"Suit yourself!  Talk to ya later, Red!"  Lyle said with a shrug as he turned his back to me, probably for the last time.

 

And with that, they were gone, leaving me sitting and staring at the door through which they had disappeared.  It was a weird feeling, realizing that I would never see any of them again. Weird described exactly how I felt; happy, sad, confused, and a dozen of other feelings that I couldn't even begin to describe, let alone put to words.

 

Without wanting to, I noticed my eyes were slowly drifting through the concert hall and I couldn't help reminiscing over my time spent here.  There were many memories, both good and bad, and, if everything went well, I wouldn't be here in the morning to make more or to share in any that would happen after my departure.  It's a very somber thought, realizing that a chapter in your life is ending.  At least I would be starting a new one.  Whether that's a good or bad thing I would have to figure out later; I still had the present to take care of.

 

And the present was calling my attention to Tim, who sat down next to me.

 

"Finally done, huh?" The coyote asked me.

 

It was a perfectly Tim-like thing to say.  Leave it to Tim to come up with something Tim-like.  In a different life-time, he and I might have been something.  We'd probably be a cute couple too, with him being a nice enough coyote and me being a slim fox.  If he'd hit the gym and lift a few weights, then we might have been in business...but for now, no.  And a no now meant a no later, since I didn't expect to come back anytime soon.  A lifetime would be too soon, so maybe in another two lifetimes we'd be able to hit it off.  But not today, not tonight, and not tomorrow.  I still had the present to take care of, and Tim wasn't a part of it or my future.

 

"Yup.  How long has it been?" I asked.

 

I couldn't help but ask.  I didn't keep track of how many days it had been since all of this had started.  But Tim would know.  God knows he keeps track of stuff like that.  Nobody knows why, but he does. Some call it weird, but most pass it off as a quirk.  If that was the worst thing about Tim, he was better off than anybody I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

 

"How long?  Probably two, two and a half years.  It's probably closer to probably closer to the latter, though."

 

He was rubbing his chin in thought, like he always did when thinking about something. Most likely something involving dates and numbers and figures; he always was at his best when working with those.

 

"Took longer than you thought, didn't it?"

 

Again, another perfectly Tim-like thing to say.  He didn't really beat around the bush much, and this was no exception.  That's another thing I liked about the guy - that he was direct and to the point.  It might have been sexy on another occasion and in another life, but again, not now.

 

"Not really.  Well, maybe just a bit.  But I signed the contract, so there wasn't anything I could do about it.  It wasn't that bad, anyway, just not what I was used to, or what I expected," I answered.

 

That was the truth at least, and Tim knew me well enough to know when I was telling it.  He was the closest thing I had to a friend in these past two years, so the least I could do was be honest with him, even if it was only just this once.

 

Tim was still rubbing his chin, averting my gaze as he scooted closer to me, looking at the empty theatre.  "So, I can't help but notice that you didn't go out with everyone else."

 

Of all the things to mention, he would bring that up.  He knew perfectly well that I never went out with the guys, and there was no doubt in my mind that he knew that I knew.  But Tim will be Tim, and Tim will point out the obvious, for whatever reason that is.  I suppose only Tim knows what Tim thinks, as it probably should be.

 

"Nah, it took me two and a half years to save up the money I needed and I'm not going to spend it on strippers and booze.  Interplanetary transportation isn't cheap you know, so I'll need every last credit I have."

 

I could see him chew that over in his mind for a few seconds, digesting that information and parsing what the important parts and the not-so-important parts were before he answered me.

 

"About that," he said, giving me a long look. "I've wired the last of your money into your account.  You don't need to worry about that."

 

Good old Tim.  If there was anyone I could trust on this world, it was him.  Faithful and dependable to his friends, you could count on him to come through when it counted.  Kinda like how he came through for me just now.  I would owe him one, if for some God-forsaken reason we ever met again.

 

"Thanks," I said.

 

That's all I really had to say, but it was enough.  I could tell by the way his lips seemed to pull upwards just a bit.  Nothing you'd notice unless you were looking for it, or unless you knew Tim.  I'd spent enough time with Tim to notice.

 

"No problem," he said.  He had gone back to looking around the empty hall, no doubt thinking about what he wanted to say next.  That was fine; I could wait for him.

 

I don't know how long we sat side by side in silence.  It wasn't uncomfortable, since we were both okay with saying nothing.  This silence was a pleasant silence.  It was a silence where two people could simply enjoy each other's company.

 

I was the first to break that silence.

 

"Hey, Tim?  Did I ever tell you that I was in the army?"

 

He turned his head at that, looking me straight in the eyes.  I could almost see the gears turning in his head.

 

"No, you didn't, but everyone kinda knows, or at least guessed.  We've all seen your dog tags.  It's not like you made an effort to hide them or anything."

 

True, that, but not the point I wanted to make.

 

"Tell me, have you ever read what was on them?"

 

A simple enough question.  Tim didn't even take time to think before he spoke.  "Not really, but I'm guessing it says your name, right?"

 

I couldn't help but smile at that.  It was a good guess, and as reasonable as any you could make.  I couldn't really blame him for assuming what he did, since there wasn't anything to say otherwise.

 

"Not quite.  It doesn't say 'Sasha Reed' on them."

 

The look on his face that brought on was confusion.  I could see a question forming on his lips, but I silenced him by raising a paw.

 

"It says 'Nathan Cole'."

 

I could see him about to interrupt me, but, again, I silenced him with my paw.  I did, after all, want to tell him my story - if only a sliver of it - and I'd be damned if he stopped me from doing so.

 

"Nathan was my boyfriend.  We were supposed to be married after our tour of duty was over.  If everything would have gone according to plan, I'd have been married for a bit over a year now, I think.  We exchanged tags to remind us of our promise to get married."

 

I wiped at my eyes and was surprised to find my paws coming back wet.  I had promised myself that I wouldn't cry.  Guess that's one promise I didn't keep.

 

"What happened?"

 

I felt a pair of arms encircling me and holding me tight as Tim hugged me.  I wasn't expecting it, but it was nice and comforting so I went along with it.

 

"Pirates.  They blew up our ship as we entered orbit here.  We were just supposed to stop long enough to get some more supplies and stretch our legs before we went back to Sector eight, but then everything went south.  I was doing maintenance on the escape pods when we were attacked, so I got away fine. Can't say the same about the rest of the crew, or Nathan."

 

I'm ashamed to say it, but I was openly crying at this point.  It was only by some blessing that my voice didn't crack when I spoke.  It was a small miracle, and one I was thankful for.

 

Tim just held me while I silently cried on his shoulder for what was probably longer than I had a right to, but he didn't object.  He just held onto my quivering, spasm-wracked body and softly petted my fur and cooed soothing words into my ears.

 

After my tears and my sobs had subsided, after a while of just holding me, he sighed and looked at me once again, but not in the same way he normally did.  He was actually looking at me; not just a glance, but he was taking in my person, as if seeing me for the first time and, probably, the last.  I couldn't help but notice that his eyes looked a bit sad.

 

"Why didn't you try the embassy?" He asked.

 

I snorted at that.  What a stupid question.

 

"You know as well as I do that there's no embassy to Sector eight here.  And you can bet your paycheck that the army doesn't give a damn."

 

Tim didn't speak for a bit after that.  He simply held my gaze for a long time.  Or at least it felt long.  It was probably only thirty seconds at most.

 

"You're really going," he said.

 

It wasn't so much a question, more of a statement.  I think he knew that as well as I did.

 

"Yeah.  I've stayed here longer than I should have anyway," I replied.

 

I wasn't prepared for the paw that he offered me.  I'm sure I must have had a look of surprise splayed across my muzzle since he smiled a bit at my expression. "It was nice working with you, Red. Hope everything goes well in your future."

 

I honestly couldn't help but smile at Tim.  He honestly cared, and that's more than I can say for most of the people I've had the pleasure of meeting in my life.

 

"Thanks, Tim.  Give the guys a good ribbing for me, would ya?  It'll help keep them in line since I'm not here to show them how to dance properly," I said as I shook his paw.  I really did mean it, too.  Tim was one of the few people I genuinely liked as a friend.  I'd miss him the most.  

"So, I guess I should probably go.  I still need to pack a few things and I don't want to miss my ride," I said as I jumped down from the stage and turned to look up at Tim.

 

"Yeah, I guess you should probably do that.  Interplanetary transportation _is_ expensive, you know."

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/znJPlEqe