{"sf1_id":365437,"sf2_id":"214aVlre","title":"Vladimir Putin Show!","author":"Wolf Trooper","words":1363,"posted_at":"2012-04-14T21:36:00.000Z","tags":["Fox","John Stossel","Obama","Rick Santorum","Ron Paul","Vladimir Putin","Wolf"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/365437-vladimir-putin-show","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/214aVlre","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/80/d0/80d09481-01b9-4a77-bf08-6bcbc3f4e4ea","description":"","content":" **Vladimir Putin show part one!**\n\n\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; So this is just a filler while I work on some of my other projects. This was inspired by ArticWolf's Radio show so I'd thought I'd give it a try! Based originally on the Kim Jung il show, it was supposed to star Kim Jung Il, but because the leader of North Korea is dead, I picked the next best thing! This is my first time doing a comedy skit so feel free to leave any comments telling me how I can improve. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY! Disclaimer: All of these characters are portrayed in a fictional manner and this skit does not reflect their actual political views or actual personalities.\n\nAnnouncer: You're watching to the state funded Russian television programming. WATCH OR YOU WILL BE SENT TO THE SIBERIAN GULAGS!\n\nDifferent Announcer: And now! Live from downtown Moscow! It's the big man on campus, Vladimir Putin!\n\n\\*Vlad comes out and waves at the audience while this song plays: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCywlKDTtEc](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCywlKDTtEc)\\*\n\nPutin: What up Russia! How we doing today?\n\n\\*Audience applauses\\*\n\nPutin: SILENCE!\n\n\\*Audience shuts up immediately\\*\n\nPutin: Today is a very special day because we have several guest speakers today. Our first guest speaker is libertarian investigative journalist and the man who shatters conventional wisdom, John Stossel!\n\n\\*camera points to John Stossel\\*\n\nStossel: Good to be here Putin\n\nPutin: Please call me Vlad!\n\nStossel: Okay Vlad. It's good to be here.\n\n\\*camera points to me\\*\n\nPutin: We also have several other guests today too. Also joining us today is military fiction author, political commenter, and former U.S. Army Ranger, Jason aka, Wolf Trooper!\n\nWT: Good to be here\n\n\\*camera points to ArticWolf451\\*\n\nPutin: Also joining us is\u0026nbsp; professional SoFurry writing and the author of the \"My Wonderful Little Sister\" series, which by the way is my favorite series on SoFurry, ArticWolf451!\n\nAW: Yo!\n\n\\*camera points to Jacob King\\*\n\nPutin: We also have my all time favorite Latino comedian with us. Unfortunately, George Lopez was unavailable so I went what I could get a hold of.We have Jacob King!\n\nJK: WHUT UP RUSSIA! \\*waves his arms in the air\\*\n\nPutin: I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO SHOUT 'WHUT UP RUSSIA'!\n\nJK: \\*sarcastically\\* Sorry\n\nPutin: Yeah you'd better be. And our next guest is that hyperactive fox we all know and love, AceFox27!\n\n\\*camera points to\u0026nbsp; AceFox who is in a drunken slumber in his chair snoring loudly\\*\n\nPutin: Uhhh... is he okay\n\nAW: Yeah he just got wasted on Mountain Dew and tequila before we got here so he's kinda out of it.\n\nJK: We've been trying to wake him all day.\n\n\\*Starts poking him with a stick\\*\n\nAW: Cody, Cody, Cody, Cody, Cody\n\n\\*Wolf Trooper gets up\\*\n\nWT: Don't worry. I'm gonna use an old family technique on how to wake drunk people up.\n\nAW: Oh and what's that?\n\n\\*Walks up to AceFox and pulls out a glass bottle of moonshine)\n\nWT: Watch.\n\n\\*Smashes bottle on AceFox's head shattering the bottle and drenching him in vodka\\*  \n AceFox: \\*wakes up confused\\* Huh.. Wuh... Where am I?\n\nWT: Dude we're on TV!\n\nAceFox: Oh... \\*looks around at the audience\\* since when did we sign up to be on the Kardashians.\n\nAW: Dude, they're Russians they all look that that.\n\n\\*Putin puts on this face: [http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/259/943/694.png](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/259/943/694.png)\\*\n\nPutin: Anyway. Also starring with us today is former Texas Representative and current runner for the US Presidential Republican nomination, ladies and gentleman Dr. Ron Paul!\n\n\\*Audience starts cheering while the camera points to Ron Paul\\*\n\nRandom Audience member in the front row: BOOOOO!\n\n\\*Jacob King points at the booer\\*\n\nJK: Hey! That guy booed Ron Paul!\n\nPutin: Hey, Jacob, let me take care of it. GUARD!\n\n\\*Spetsnaz commando shows up carrying an AK-103 rifle and shoots the booer in the head killing him\\*\n\nPutin: \\*Laughs\\* Bull's-eye. And our final guest today is, a political rival of Ron Paul and according to a worldwide poll, the most dangerous man alive, Rick Santorum!\n\n\\*camera points to Santorum\\*\n\nSantorum: It's great to be here Mr. Putin and...\n\nPutin: NO ONE CARES!\n\n\\*Obama pats Putin's shoulder\\*\n\nPutin: Oh and Obama.\n\n\\*A tomahawk suddenly flies through the air and nearly misses Obama's head by inches\\*\n\nObama: HEY WHO THREW THAT AT ME!\n\nAW: \\*under breath\\* Damn!\n\n\\*Turns back to Ron Paul\\*\n\nPutin: So Dr. Paul your running for the Republican nomination for the upcoming U.S. presidential election?\n\nRon Paul: Yes I am.\n\nJK: RON PAUL 2012!\n\nPutin: SHUT UP!\n\nJK: NEVER!  \n Putin: GUARD!\n\n\\*Spetsnaz guard whacks Jacob in the shin with his rifle\\*\n\nJK:AH!\n\nPutin: There then now we can get some peace and quiet...\n\n\\*Wolf Trooper's phone suddenly starts ringing.\\*\n\nWT: \\*Checks caller ID\\* AW!!! HER AGAIN!\n\nAceFox: The GF?\n\nAW: Nah. You see, me and Jacob decided to pull a little prank on Jason. What we did was hack his phone with someone else's phone number and now every time that person tries to call someone they keep calling him.\n\nAceFox: \\*laughs \\* So who's the unlucky person?\n\nJK: Your wife.\n\nAceFox: \\*puts on this face: [http://brothersofthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Fear-Face.gif](http://brothersofthebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Fear-Face.gif)\\* YOU WHAT!\n\nAW: Why? What's wrong with that?\n\nAceFox: Dude do you know my wife? She's crazy!\n\nAW: I know that's why we chose her.\n\nAceFox: \\*puts on a straight face\\* Okay. As long as Wolf doesn't trash talk her we should be safe.\n\nWT: I DON\"T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE! YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO YOU CRAZY BITCH! AND QUIT CALLING ME!\n\n\\*Turns off phone\\*\n\nWT: Yeesh! I don't know why but some crazy lady keeps calling me!\n\n\\*AceFox, ArcticWolf, and Jacob stare at him with an expression of shock\\*\n\nWT: What?\n\nPutin: \\* pulls out a PP-2000\\* ENOUGH OF THIS! WE WILL CONTINUE WITH THE INTERVIEW AND IF YOU GUYS DON'T CUT IT OUT NOW I'LL SEND YOU TO SIBERIA! GOT IT!\n\nEveryone: Okay, okay!\n\nPutin: Yeah. So Ron Paul you're running for the presidential nomination right.\n\nRon Paul: Well I'm trying to and I'm not backing out. I'm in 'til a nominee is announced.\n\nSantorum: And that's gonna be me!\n\nStossel: Didn't you just drop out of the nomination campaign?\n\nSantorum: \\*has a look of embarrassment on his face\\*\n\nPutin: So Stossel what do think about Ron Paul winning the election?\n\nStossel: I think it will be the greatest thing to ever happen to America. For the first time since the United States was first formed we will have a leader who will think with logic and reason rather than speculation and assumption.\n\nPutin: AceFox what do you think about Ron Paul being president?\n\n\\*Notices AceFox is missing\\*\n\nPutin: Where'd he go?\n\nWT: He went to take a piss.\n\nPutin: Oh okay.\n\n\\*Meanwhile Arctic is aiming a crossbow at Obama's head.\\*\n\nPutin: Artic?\n\nArtic: \\*Gets startled and accidently pulls the crossbow's trigger.\\*\n\nSantorum: \\*Gets struck by the arrow and falls off his chair while making this scream: \u0026nbsp;[http://wilhelmscream.net/](http://wilhelmscream.net/)\\*\n\nPutin: I'll come back to you later. So Jacob what's your opinion on Ron Paul becoming president.\n\nJacob: \\*Not even paying attention\\* Dudes!\u0026nbsp; Look what I got! \\*pulls out a bottle of pure Russian alcohol\\* RUSSIAN MOONSHINE! \\*Starts chugging down the entire bottle.\\*\n\nPutin: \\*Walks up and grabs the bottle of Jacob's hand\\* GIVE ME THAT! Where'd you get this anyway!\n\nJacob King: I found it.\n\nPutin: \\*Tosses the bottle aside\\*\n\nAceFox: \\*Walks into the room after taking his pee break\\* Man I've gotta stop drinking so much Mountain Dew it makes me pee every five minutes. \\*Suddenly the bottle that Putin just tossed hits his head and shatters. Falls over unconscious while a pool of blood forms on the floor\\*\n\nPutin: \\*Stares at what he just did\\* Oh come on! I just had to clean this floor after I threw a glass bottle at my last guest host. \\*Groans\\* We'll be taking a short commercial break while I clean this floor.\n\n\\*Warning: This next scene contains graphic explicit sexual. Anyone under the age of 18 should not watch this!)\u0026nbsp;\n\n[http://www.redtube.com/8982](http://www.redtube.com/8982)\n\nEveryone: \\*[http://boards.altgn.com/images/smilies/rage/misc-seriously.png](http://boards.altgn.com/images/smilies/rage/misc-seriously.png)\\*\n\nStossel: Uh Putin?\n\nPutin:\\*Completely embarrassed\\* I swear to God that was supposed to be funny Doritos commercial!\n\n\\*Awkward silence for the next 30 seconds\\*\n\nPutin: And now our real commercial break!\n\n[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnKJSsc7v0Y](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnKJSsc7v0Y)\n\n  \n  \n\n"}