# Jon Mahon Christmas Special

Author: NovaSquirrel
Tags: Fart, Party, Santa, School

To celebrate Christmas I went and wrote this crappy Jon-themed story.

JON MAHON CHRISTMAS SPECIAL  
--------------------------------------------------  
HE'S MAKING A LIST  
AND CHECKING IT 9001 times  
GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY (in bed) AND NICE  
JON MAHON IS COMING TO TOWN  
He sees you when you're SHOWERING!!!! OH MY GOD  
He knows when you're awake  
HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY (in bed) OR GOOD  
SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!

JON MAHON was impersonating santa AND DOING A BAD JOB OF IT. (he did grow a pretty epic beard for it though)  
he took his 9001 detentions he had gotten over the years and CROSSED OFF HIS NAME  
and wrote OTHER PEOPLES' NAMES ON THEM. (illegal) and for the detention location  
he wrote in the address of some party place nobody knew about (not even him)

he was passing them out during lunch the next day with his friend SID SPACE  
in a santa outfit and said "crap......... LETS BE SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!" (nobody heard)  
so nobody knew it was him  
even though  
on the detention  
you could still read the crossed out JON MAHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
and the detention reasons were things jon was well known for! (farting in class)

also the date on the detentions was December 25th (nobody noticed this either maybe they're dumb I DON'T KNOW)  
everyone was all BUMMED OUT that they couldn't attend their christmas parties (NOT NOTICING that everyone in the parties had detentions too,  
 so there wouldn't really be any party because there'd be nobody there because AUGH I don't know..............)

so on december 25th everyone brought their party stuff to the detention!!!!  
AND DROVE TO THE MYSTERIOUS PLACE LISTED ON THE DETENTIONS  
wait a second if there's TONS OF KIDS in one place AND THEY HAVE PARTY STUFF  
THEN IT'S NOT A DETENTION AT ALL!!!!!!  
THAT WAS!??????!??????????? A PARTY INVITATION!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
darn you jon AUGH  
........ !??????????

then, when EVERYONE was inside  
A GIANT CALIFORNIA REDWOOD TREE CRACKED A VIOLNET SNOWSORM AND FELL AS IF HINGED  
BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE AND SNOWING EVERYONE IN AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!????????!?!??!?  
but hey it made a nice 30,60,90 right triangle

CRAP!!!!!!!!! so the people INSIDE THE PARTY PLACE  
were STUCK INSIDE for the time being!!!!!!!!!!!! D:

so HERE I WILL ESTABLISH A PARTIAL LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WENT TO THE PARTY  
celebrities: Barack Obama (with his awesome t-shirt), Osama bin Laden, Vegeta, Hitler, Anne Frank, (oops) Anne Frankenstein  
classmates: Josh, Jared, Sid Space, Karson, DANNY, Tyler, Alex (both Nuclear and Irritable Alexes), d-love/2kdre  
and the obligatory list of similarly named people: Billy Mays, Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Bill Cosby, Bill Gosper  
(the first three bills make up the BILLY ALLIANCE)

SO THE PEOPLE NOW HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO DO IN THE AWESOME PARTY HOUSE UNTIL SOMEONE HELPS............  
(or just enjoy the party)

d-love got a DISCO BALL AND SET IT UP  
ACTUALLY 99999 disco balls  
BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD LASERS AND WERE EVIL  
and was DJing and rapping and stuff  
d-love: "YO YO YO jon mahon YO"  
d-love: "gotta eat the toast"  
d-love: "'cause its christmas time OKAY?????????????????"

SO JON MAHON GOT OUT a giant candycane  
and used it AS A SWORD  
TO FIGHT OFF THE DISCO BALLS  
but wasn't getting very much progress

Jared: "ME NO LIKE DISCO BALLS"  
and Jared left! (somehow)

BUT THE DISCO BALLS WERE STILL ATTACKING  
until suddenly VEGETA WAS LIKE "KAMEHAMEHA!!"  
and blew up the disco balls with a huge energy blast  
that somehow did not damage the building or any guests

So THE BILLY ALLIANCE GROUPED TOGETHER  
AND DECIDED TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE WALL TO GET OUT.  
SO WERE BRAINSTORMING together until JON MAHON SUDDENLY FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
WHOSE FART BLEW everyone into "THE NIGHT BEFORE JON MAHON"

'Twas NOT the night before JON MAHON, when all through the SCHOOL  
Not a creature was FARTING, not even uh Jared! LOLOOLOLLOLOLOLO;  
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that JON MAHON SOON WOULD BE THERE;  
...but then suddenly a bee flew in and it stung someone who died and then they SUED IT FOR MURDER  
LANDING THEM BACK IN UHHHHH THE JON MAHON PARTY HOUSE  
BECAUSE THE JUDGE FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so they were back at the party house  
and suddenly Wendy from the restaurant named Wendy's came over  
and uh well  
SHE worked with IRRITABLE ALEX  
to create FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN  
WHO WAS ALMOST THE SAME AS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN  
EXCEPT HE ACTUALLY WAS A FROSTY AND also simultaneously product placement  
also he was evil and he throw snowballs at people

BARACK OBAMA WAS WATCHING POKEMON IN THE CORNER  
and turned into BROCK OBAMA (like in obamastory)  
and d-love started DJing some rock music  
which caused obama to then change into BROCKSTAR OBAMA

AND SUDDENLY PLAYED SOME REALLY RAD TUNES  
and he chased after FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN  
but Jon Mahon handed a super cool electric guitar to Brockstar Obama  
who accidentally made frosty the frostyman explode WITH DA POWER OF MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!1

JARED WAS SOMEHOW BACK  
and then there was rebecca whose last name was BLACK  
oops I mean there was REBECCA BLACK WHO WAS SINGING "FRIDAY" ENDLESSLY  
and JACK BLACK  
Hitler: "what does the scouter say about her annoyingness level"  
Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!"

and jack black who was obsessed with octagons  
drew an octagon  
Jack: "WE FOUND AN OCTAGON!!!!!!!!!"  
BUT IT WAS A MAGIC ORANGE OCTAGON  
AND WAS ACTUALLY A PORTAL  
so everyone went in thinking it was a way out of the party place  
but it actually just led to ANOTHER MAGIC OCTAGON that was BLUE  
!!!!!  
except it was always friday  
Jared: "ME NO LIKE FRIDAY"  
so they went back in   
and it was always NOT friday  
so rebecca black shut up finally

so JACK BLACK TRIED TO SING FRIDAY (in a really heavy russian accent)  
BUT THERE WAS A CHARACTER NAMED SLIPPERY SOAP FROM BLUES CLUES  
WHO WAS MAKING A SLIPPERY MESS  
but he slipped and fell on an octagon before he could finish  
poor jack

Jon Mahon did not actually have a real christmas tree  
so he took a fake robot one  
and put it up  
Sid Space: "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A FAKE CHRISTMAS!???????"  
Jon Mahon: "sure"  
Sid Space: "WHAT!"  
Jon Mahon: "WHATS THE MATTER DO YOU NOT LIKE YOUR FAKE CHRISTMAS!????"  
Hitler: "NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!"

but the fake robot tree came with a fake robot santa  
who was evil  
but Karson kicked its butt  
because he's goot at kicking robots' butts

so the BILLY ALLIANCE got together with nuclear alex (who knew about radioactive stuff)  
and josh had some uranium in his pocket.  
and the billy alliance decided they would make a machine that harnessed the power of jon mahon's illegal nuclear farts  
to blast a hole in the party house and get out

so the BILLY ALLIANCE with the help of NUCLEAR ALEX  
constructed a machine and inserted josh's uranium  
and jon mahon was given pizza  
and then jon farted  
and a GIGANTIC HOLE WAS BLASTED IN THE CEILING  
it was pretty impossible to get out through it though  
CONSIDERING IT WAS ON THE FREAKING CEILING

for some reason IRONICALLY after the hole was blasted the VIOLNET SORM disappeared and all the snow was gone  
(also the tree REVERSE-FELL as if hinged - if that's even POSSIBLE)  
completely negating any need for the hole in the first place.  
and to make it worse the fart made it super smelly all the way from here to 125 MILES away.

The billy alliance was FINED FOR DAMAGE TO THE PARTY HOUSE because the person DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VIOLNET SORM  
and thought the explosion was random and unnecessary  
AND THAT WAS ILLEGAL.

so they got out anyway  
and nobody cared  
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN  
THIS HAS BEEN A JON MAHON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/B1Q3kMVm