# Obamastory (very immature) Author: NovaSquirrel Tags: Obama, Pokemon, Transformation, t-shirt One IRC channel I was going to whined about how much I was talking about Obama and Billy Mays and stuff so instead I wrote a story I could post on the forum, which I was told would be a productive activity. Some parts were ripped directly from IRC conversations (specifically the part describing hitler) and the part at the end with anne frank was inspired by a fanfic of gofer-chan's.side-story to fix a plot hole warning this story is probably highly offensive if the word offensive is offensive STOP READING NOW if you think obama is doing a great job FUCKING STOP READING NOW IF YOU THINK THE WORD "FUCK" IS OFFENSIVE THEN OOPS I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS no I did not ask many of the people who got cameos in this if they wanted to be in it or not. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SO obama was spending over $9000 every day on burritos to throw at old people but they didn't like it very much in fact they regretted voting for him OH WELL. he was almost impeached but then he gave every old person an OLD PERSON TV that only had the Obama Channel which had speeches and interviews and stuff of Obama 24/7 and that somehow made it okay. the national debt was 999999999999 trillion after just two months as president. the economy was a fucking mess. so now Obama was sitting at his desk at the FUCKING WHITE HOUSE or something, fucking trying to order a copy of Bomberman and Billy Mays called him on the phone Billy:"HI BILLY MAYS HERE I HAVE AN AMAZING OFFER 'I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' TSHIRT ONLY $19.95" Obama:"shut up billy mays can't you see I'm busy" Billy:"BUSY WITH WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING UP THE ECONOMY" Obama:"no I'm not. shut up" ---and then vegeta came on the phone---- Vegeta: "well you spent like over 9000 dollars a day" Obama: "NO I DIDN'T FUCK YOU" obama slammed the phone down in rage and then it rang again Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR HOMO INSURANCE" Obama: "stop calling me to sell me homo insurance" Billy: "YEAH BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE CALLS YOU A HOMO YOU GET A DOLLAR" Obama: "why would I want that I'm fucking rich how else would I be able to afford THE OBAMA CHANNEL" Billy: "NO THAT ISN'T YOUR MONEY YOU RETARD! YOU KEEP SPENDING AND NOW WE'RE 999999999999 TRILLION IN DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vince: "hey buy shamwow" Billy: "SHUT THE FUCK UP VINCE NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vince: "WELL AT LEAST I didn't fuck up the ECONOMY" Billy: "OH RIGHT" Obama: "SHUT THE FUCK UP i didn't ruin the economy" Billy: "HEY AS A SPECIAL OFFER I'LL GIVE YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY SHIRT' ABSOLUTELY FREE" Obama: "oh hey FREE STUFF i'll take it ship it to my house immediately" Billy: "OH OKAY MR PRESIDENT HMMMMMMMMMMMM" so the special tshirt got shipped to the whitehouse in a box with PONIES ON IT Obama: "OH BOY OH BOY ITS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he opens it and pulls out the tshirt and it was actually the original "I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY" shirt AND IT GLOWED IN THE DARK. and he PUT THE SHIRT ON without actually taking the other one off. Obama: "OH FUCK ITS TIME TO WATCH POKEYMANS" so he turned on the TV AND HE TURNED INTO "BROCK OBAMA" Obama: "wtf I'm a pokemon gym leader" except he didn't actually have any pokemon he just looked like brock from pokemon AND THEN MISTY SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR Obama: "oh fuck you" and then obama was "BaROCKET Obomba" and no longer looked like brock NOW HE LOOKED LIKE EITHER A TERRORIST OR A ROBOT OR EVEN A TERRORIST ROBOT i can't decide which AND HE BLEW STUFF UP WITH MISSILES AND BOMBS Obama: "oh oops SORRY MISTY DIDN'T MEAN TO BLOW YOU UP" and then obama ate healthy snacks and was "BAROCCOLI OBAMA" and he BLEW THE FUCKING NATIONAL DEBT EVEN HIGHER BY BUYING WAY TOO MUCH BROCCOLI. and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Obama: "WTF BUSH YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THAT also you aren't kool aid man" and then he was barocket obama and blew up more stuff Obama: "...fuck" and then bush was kool aid man and busted through another wall Obama: "OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" and then Obama was normal obama and then BILLY MAYS BUSTED THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE BUY KOOL AID OH YEAH" Obama: "oh shut the fuck up billy. bush was already kool aid man" Billy: "THEN MAYBE I COULD be the KOOL AIDS MAN THAT WOULD BE SORT OF DIFFERENT" Billy: "ALSO WE DIDN'T SEND YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' SHIRT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO SEND YOU" Obama: "oh fuck I didn't notice" and then obama took off the shirt but the next time pokemon was on NOTHING HAPPENED the next time he ate healthy NOTHING HAPPENED the next time someone random showed up NOTHING HAPPENED SO BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY SHOWED UP AND WAS ALL "obama that shirt made you shift between barack and brock and barocket and baroccoli" Obama: "Oh FINE GEEZ" and obama put the shirt back on then Obama went to a rock concert and became BAROCKSTAR OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obama: "OH FUCK" and then obama did a guitar solo AN EPIC GUITAR SOLO A VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO A VERY VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO okay stop it with the stupid stuff sorry ANYWAY BAROCKSTAR OBAMA WAS VERY FAMOUS and then pokemon came on AND HE WAS somehow BROCKSTAR OBAMA and somehow did pokemon themed guitar solos it was very illegal AND THEN OBAMA GOT ARRESTED and there were CDi characters there and mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA DIS IS ILLEGAL YU NO" and then there was lots of toast (blame NovaBot) Fat Mario: "OH FUCK TOO MANY TOASTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS" and then obama was barocket obomba AND BLEW UP A WALL AND SNUCK OUT and nobody noticed it well actually someone did notice it mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL" but obama didn't care ALSO OBAMA COLLECTED $200 WHICH HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO and then became baroccoli obama and spent it on healthy foods AND THEN HE PASSED GO which was illegal OH FUCK WE AREN'T PLAYING MONOPOLY ... OH YES WE ARE OBAMA BUILT HIS FUCKING MANSION ON BOARDWALK with lasers and FUCKING DORITOS DISPENSERS actually no the doritos shot lasers   obama gets in his OBAMA MOBILE and drives to BOARDWALK MANSION AND THE FUCKING BILLYBOB GUY WAS THERE Obama: "get off my fucking house" bob: "oh okay" AND THEN HE DROVE TO # AND the topic was Persistence in bad habits BUT THEN OBAMA SET THE TOPIC TO "farte butte" AND GOT KICKED OUT BY A PONY OOPS I MEAN BRONY HIS NAME STARTED WITH A "K" and then obama drove to the store (SAW POKEMON ON THE TVs, WAS BROCK OBAMA) and bought some nerf guns and infinite pizza rolls with his credit card \ And I got my card so money's not an issue. \ it's a credit card except it adds to the national debt of the united states \ obama has 5 \ Stop that \ :\< and then crafted PIZZA ROLL GUN. but just then RICK ASTLEY ATTACKED THE CITY WITH PAPER DOLL MAN Onix: WOAH ONIX GO Onix: onix onix Obama: ONIX USE THUNDERBOLT wtf he doesn't have that move actually didn't I mention earlier that brock obama didn't actually have any pokemon? PAPER DOLL MAN USED HIS SOLAR RAY GUN AND MADE A PRINTER COME ALIVE and then it printed off furry porn OH OOPS............................................ ............................oh sweet that's hot fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap ANYWAY, THERE WAS BLOOD AND SPERM EVERYWHERE HE JUST KEPT SAYING, "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN" so obama EQUIPPED HIS PIZZA ROLL GUN and shot at rick astley BUT THAT FAILED BECAUSE HE JUST ATE THE PIZZA ROLLS aaaaaaa AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THERE WAS THAT FUCKING JON MAHON CYBORG FROM MY LAST STORY he shot a laser rocket from his nipple and blew up a building but then RICK ASTLEY GOT SCARED OF EITHER JON MAHON OR PAPER DOLL MAN AND HID so Paper Doll Man slipped quietly through the crack in the door to Rick's house and stole over 9000 copies of NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP (also there was PLAN X in the house) and then later JON MAHON FOUND OUT AND TOLD RICK ASTLEY and rick was absolutely furious and went after paper doll man but he kept slipping through door cracks and could never catch him or even find him now because he turned into a paper airplane and flew away but rick didn't know that so he gave up ANYWAY RICK AND JON MAHON LEFT THE CITY BECAUSE THEY GOT BORED Obama: "I WON :3" no you did not and then on the moon a paper airplane showed up at the house of some moon bunny named Inaba and then turned out to be PAPER DOLL MAN. although plan X was at rick astley's house, plan XXX was at Inaba's, which Paper Doll Man also wanted for some reason. It had a detailed plan for what would happen if he ever arrived at a certain yoshifox's house. so Paper doll man stole plan XXX and flew off but Inaba followed him in a spaceship over to a certain house, ON EARTH. Inaba looked around in the house but could not find the paper doll man anywhere... ...but sitting on the couch was a certain yoshifox. ;3 meanwhile Osama bin Laden had just blown up some guy's house and they were chasing after him but he went to the moon and nobody could find him because he was on the moon. The guy then went to NASA and asked for a spaceship but it costed too much and then later Osama blew up the moon and that was illegal but he never got arrested because nobody could find him because he was hiding on the moon. HOWEVER he remembered he blew it up and went to Mars instead and built a secret base with Martian technology. Inaba learned of this and noticed that Paper Doll Man had saved his life, causing him to become very obsessed with paper doll man. well fuck well Bomberman finally got delivered but Obama did not see the possible name pun and he became Barack Obomberman ... oops then someone random showed up at the door and he was BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN which was kind of illegal but not enough for people to care SO THEN LATER OBAMA DROVE TO PIZZA HUT AND GOT A PIZZA AND WROTE "FROM #BOTPLACE" ON IT AND DROVE 125 MILES TO GIVE IT TO A LOUPDRAKE IN TEXAS who was with jon mahon and an opposum who did not care because said loupdrake hated Obama BUT GAVE OBAMA THE "Big City Detergent Ball" which must be a super powered version of the Oxiclean Detergent Ball, right? :D no IT GOT SHIT ALL OVER HIS CLOTHES OH SHIT anyway normal jon mahon was there and he saw obama's awesome tshirt and got one for his own so he could do cool transformations but the author can't think of any good puns on Jon's name other than "JON MORON" and that's not very cool - well, maybe he could be SHAH JAHAN (didn't the author confuse the two once in 7th grade I think they did) but that was stupid so obama drove away from the loupdrake's house and tried to drive to Billy Mays's house but there was a fucking BILLY MAZE blocking it (obama's too dumb to get through the maze) so he went somewhere else back to his fuckin doritos laser house so then obama saw a guy's house getting lifted away into microsoft's anti-piracy department with a gigantic crane with a metal claw on the end because he downloaded windows 7 but he was playing fucking megazeux games so in his next speech he mentioned megazeux and talked about the guy who he called Guy \ get Obama to talk about MZX \ that would be horrible \ oh, god \ all reporters investigating me and then reporters investigated Guy and asked him questions in lots of interviews   so he drove back to # and the BRONY WHOSE NAME STARTED WITH K was high and he was married to a guy named juana really it was kind of disgusting. GET IT?????????? MARRIED JUANA -\> MARIJUANA. ?!!?!???!??? anyway he changed his name to KARL MARX because for lunch everyday he ate communism how he did it was he took a toaster-strudel and drew a hammer and sicle on it. and then a DIFFERENT brony whose name started with K who was not high nuked a country because they embedded Friday in their national anthem \ Requesting a layout nuke on Perfect Infinity \ For embedding a hidden autoplaying Youtube of "Friday". \ In his signature. and that was illegal so he went to jail ANYWAY KAWA had a phone and he saw the number 1101227 (phone thought it was a number) and touched it accidentally Kawa: oh fuck did not mean to do that and IT CALLED OBAMA SO THEY GOT INTO A CONVERSATION Kawa: Okay who is this Obama: THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES YOU DOPE Kawa: i am in europe Obama: GOING TO SEND YOU FIVE DOLLARS Kawa: what that's not my currency wtf so then obama hung up wtf so then OBAMA DROVE TO CANADA and then he forced some poor guy named tubular into his car BUT AFTER THAT he drove 125 miles to nova's house and he dropped tubular off and JUST FUCKING DROVE AWAY some very naughty things went on in that house and then obama drove to PEN ISLAND where everything was shaped like pens like seriously there were no coconuts the pens grew on trees so OBAMA MOVED "IS" over to be part of "PEN" and it was kind of inappropriate after that fucking penis grew on trees man FUCKING PENIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA so Obama went back home to the whitehouse and was going to take a nap in the oval office but then Hitler busted into the room after years of everybody thinking he's dead, and he was like, "IIIIIIIIII'M BACK!" and tore off his shirt, revealing gigantic pecs because he's been working out while hiding, and he starts beating the fuckin' shit out of everybody, starting with the French government. it was pretty stupid, and eventually Goku found him and decided to battle. BUT THIS CAUSED HITLER TO GO FUCKING "ARYAN RAGE" MODE WITH BLOND+SPIKY HAIR and BLUE EYES. and they were trying to shoot at eachother with kamehamehas and stuff and hit lots of buildings so obama played bomberman and went BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN and found them and tried throwing bombs at them to get them to stop but he had a terrible aim and that only blew up more buildings fuck so then Vegeta showed up and fucked shit up. but obama went home because he just didn't care well Nova somehow got power in Karl Marx's FUCKING HOUSE and well... \* tubular removes ban on huge\_boner!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on thick\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on /ban!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on osama\_bin\_laden's\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on glenn\_beck's\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on obama's\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on action\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on cunt!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on fuck!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on moldy.cheese!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on Bill\_Nye's\_cock!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on long\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on thick\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on astronauts.without.space.penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on astronauts.with.space.penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on this.that.space.penises.are.not.in!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on things.that.are.not.space.penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on space\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on erect\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on okay\_fine\_asshole!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on Nova\_that\_isn't\_funny!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on more\_unnecessary\_bans!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on I\_found\_waldo!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on find\_waldo!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on Nova\_stop\_that!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on unnecessary\_ban!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on power\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on old\_person\_penis!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on big\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on hairy\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on robot\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on child\_penises!\*@\* \<-- keeps Mare out \* tubular removes ban on medium\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on small\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on huge\_penises!\*@\* \* tubular removes ban on AlcaRobot\_Jr!AlcaRobot@\* \* tubular sets ban on AlcaRobot\_Jr!AlcaRobot@\* \* tubular sets ban on bttest\*!\*@\* \* tubular sets ban on \*penis\*!\*@\* \* tubular sets ban on \*waldo!\*@\* \* tubular sets ban on \*ban!\*@\* but that COMPLETELY RUINS EVERYTHING THE WHOLE POINT WAS HAVING TONS OF PENIS STUFF IN THE BAN LIST I MEAN GEEZ so Obama drove to Microsoft's anti-piracy department to rescue Guy and there were armed ninjas blocking the way but he just sniffed their armpits and they weren't armed ninjas anymore they were armpit ninjas SO THEY ATTACKED WITH ARMPIT FART NOISES which didn't put up any challenge at all and Obama just drove on through to the room with Guy in it and he took Guy and put him in his car AND GUY DREW AN AVATAR FOR OBAMA THAT WAS 40 PIXELS WIDE AND 56 PIXELS TALL IN TWO COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! obama thanked him and dropped him off at mcdonalds WHERE BILLY MAYS WAS SHOWING OFF HIS BIG CITY SLIDER STATION MAKING OVER 9000 BURGERS FOR EVERYONE vegeta was there and ate 3 BUT HE ALSO SOLD TONS OF PRODUCTS LIKE THE "WHAT CHILDREN? ELIMINATOR" and the restrooms were replaced with the BIG CITY TOILET that you could plug in anywhere to shit in guy ate like 2 burgers obama drove to UNITINU where everything was a palindrome and where people drove racecars and there were guys named otto and the national animal was the TACO CAT. and his shirt caused him to become OBABO ( http://imgur.com/gallery/QkQmz ) where there was also OSASO ( http://i.imgur.com/AykPy.jpg ) and then obabo went and saw there was a presidential election coming up the other canidate was amama and looked pretty fucking weird so obabo ran for president in unitinu and won because the other canidate looked fucking weird I mean it's like obabo except using the other half of the name mirrored. THE HIT TV SHOW IN UNITINU WAS NAMED "cailliou tlt ouilliac" and it was about a mirror imaged bald kid who made pizzas. BUT THE COUNTRY WAS AT WAR WITH MEXIOIXEM so obabo left (and became obama again) and OSASO fucking took over and unitinu blew up countries especially fucking MEXIOIXEM and cailliou became racist and eventually became "pinkie pie tlt oulliac" and that was the new hit show well OSASO teamed up with super saiyan hitler and goku and they were an unstoppable team SO OBAMA GOT CYBORG JON MAHON ON HIS TEAM WHO WAS (according to the Jon Mahon Chronicles) EVEN MORE UNSTOPPABLE he shot missiles out of his nipples and blew up buildings but never actually hit hitler or goku or osaso anne frank was hiding in one of the buildings so she jumped out right in time and hitler and goku saw her hitler wanted to get rid of her because she was a jew but goku FELL IN LOVE WITH ANNE FRANK and hitler and goku went off to fight somewhere leaving osaso vs CYBORG JON MAHON and obama (but it doesn't really matter since obama is a dumbass) so osaso ran away well everyone was fucking pissed with Obama FUCKING DRIVING EVERYWHERE instead of actually doing actual president things... and impeached him ( that means he ate a peach ) and jon mahon became president who was a very bad president and made farting illegal and he also got impeached Source: https://sofurry.com/s/3egjR461