{"sf1_id":476090,"sf2_id":"GnDpbZKn","title":"Rein and Sunrise","author":"Ephemeral_Dreams","words":519,"posted_at":"2012-12-19T11:56:00.000Z","tags":["M/solo","No-Yiff","Poetry","Side-note too!"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/476090-rein-and-sunrise","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/GnDpbZKn","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/5c/29/5c298b6e-1b01-4410-b4ad-b502c86d819b","description":"","content":"Rein and Sunrise\n\nby Ephemeral\\_Dreams\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nYet another tick on the wall, merely a scratch.\n\nMuch like what I am, to this world.\n\nYet another click of the hammer, barely a catch.\n\nMust I be here as I am, to my life so whorled.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nCountless days pass, every morning without purpose\n\nTrying to make a reason, a justification to be alive.\n\nSuppressed ray through the glass, every mourning without remorse\n\nCrying to aches of another season, a realization to shrive.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nAdmitting my sins, big and small, conscious and unconscious.\n\nReliving my past, every painful day after another.\n\nStaring at the huge scar, invisible on my heart.\n\nGlaring at the large star, ever visible in the night chart.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nHolding the bleeding wound, staring at the rivulets between my fingers.\n\nBandages just a step away, unable to use it for one reason or another.\n\nI've wasted away many hours, trying to think of a reason.\n\nA cause for my Ironic disability, vying to find reason.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nOne anchor and one alone, holds me here.\n\nA steadfast presence that's held my reins back, kept me from washing away into the sea.\n\nAs tumultuous as the cruel, unforgiving ocean oft became.\n\nNone other has been there as he.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nTis my chagrin that I happen to desire the thing I cannot have.\n\nNever in my life have I wanted anything more, even death.\n\nBut alas it wouldn't be, even as I try to tell myself, time may change.\n\nI wouldn't deserve it even if he'd changed.\n\nI would fail it, like everything else I have.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nYet another sun rises, welcoming me to my birthday, a date that never meant much.\n\nIt passed without celebration or acknowledgement, for I have none to receive.\n\nIt's fortunate that I have not the experience of such things, else I'd be hurt.\n\nI used to despise the weak, the claims of pain reminding that they were alive.\n\nI used to spite the meek, the reins of the unmotivated that they needed a master.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nOnly to cold frigid winter air to warm my burning heart, useless.\n\nOnly if it'd freeze my poisonous thoughts, hopeless.\n\nI lie awake, wasting my times alive, waiting.\n\nWaiting for a love and master to take the reins and steer me into the sunrise.\n\nEven as I hold the reins.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\u0026nbsp;Something I wrote..after compiling my feelings for a while, after days of \"mm..i sohuld write,\" and\n\nvery, very weird dreams. ( I usually dream about 10 tiems a year, so it does hold some significance.)\n\nComments are appreciated. :)\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nAbove is Copyrighted to me. Do not distribute, vend, or use in any regard without my express permission. (c)\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nP.S: I'm seeking a writer of sorts to do something of a collab with. I'd like it to be a long series, at least 10+ chapters with serious plot and development going on. I've got the outline in mind. I'm good at details and creativity as long as they're not...interactions, per se. If you're interested, shoot me a note and I'll check out your works! :D\n\n  \n  \n\n"}