{"sf1_id":497702,"sf2_id":"rn6Pa56e","title":"Silence","author":"Milo Smith","words":623,"posted_at":"2013-02-05T19:31:00.000Z","tags":["Depression","Heartbreak","sadness"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/497702-silence","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/rn6Pa56e","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/cc/7c/cc7cce6e-7a45-4652-996e-5b29fba88846","description":"A piece to express my feelings. Short, and only one story.","content":"Some like silence, they crave it like a drug.\n\nI hate the silence, sometimes quiet is violent.\n\nThere's no hiding. I'm forced to deal with what I feel.\n\nThere is no distraction to mask what is real.\n\nInside that silence it screams the truth, I am alone.\n\nI hear those hateful words that I don't dare tell them about.\n\nComing from the person who is supposed to love me unconditionally.\n\nSometimes I lay awake at night, looking over to that side of the bed.\n\nI remember the night we shared, where you held me against you as we drifted to sleep.\n\nAnd then I remember the morning. I woke up alone holding myself as my eyes gazed over to the now empty side.\n\nI guess that's a reoccurring theme in my life, being alone.\n\nI run my hand across that side when I close my eyes, hoping and praying that I might feel your warmth.\u0026nbsp;\n\nAt least the tears warm my face.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI try my best to go throughout my days, avoiding these feelings of hopefulness and believe everything is going well. And in the day, it works. They believe me and for a moment, I believe myself. I play it off well in the limelight.\n\nThe silence falters that. It's truth screams at me and threatens to destroy me.\n\nI can't take it.\n\nNo matter what I say, I'm not over you.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nThose two months leading up to that were incredible.\n\nYou said things, I said things. We both believed one another and couldn't wait.\n\nWhen I saw your smiling face, it took all my being to stop from grinning too widely.\n\nFrom stopping my car right there, tackling you in a hug and never letting go.\n\nAnybody can get an \"I Love You' but it's more emotional to receive and \"I Love You Too\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nAnd then, it all crumbled. That day, will go down as one of the worst I've ever felt.\n\nI walked you out to your car, and as I said goodbye and watched you go away, I broke down. The tears flowed\u0026nbsp;faster than I've ever felt.\n\nI cried myself to sleep that night, I couldn't open your door to see the empty room.\n\nYour scent was still on my sheets, reminding me of what I had lost.\n\nAfter a week, I opened your door. That scent was still there, taunting me and laughing as I cried again.\n\nI cried until the tears weren't there, but the deep ache in my heart was there.\n\nIt's still here, becoming a sadistic companion for me.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nThey all told me to get over it, to move on with my life.\u0026nbsp;\n\nI try everyday, but there's always something to remind me of you.\n\nEverything I do, everywhere I go. You are still there.\n\nThose three words aren't simply words, they reach out with roots to plant themselves inside your heart.\u0026nbsp;\n\nRipping them out only encourages faster growth. Like a weed.\n\nHow could they have changed so quickly? Those feelings of love and companionship.\n\nWhen I said them, I made a promise. You promised me they wouldn't change.\n\nWhat am I supposed to do with these leftover feelings of you?\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nIt's all crumbling. My life is crashing down around me.\n\nThe things that keep me going and show me there is still great things in the world, are slowly disappearing.\n\nAnd I fear as though, these tattered pieces that form to make up the puzzle that is me, are slowly shifting. Changing form and warping to create a puzzle that I don't recognize.\n\nThis silence burns like fire, melting the material that has become those pieces.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nI am a walking disaster.\n\nIt's too late, I can't be saved.\n\n  \n  \n\n"}