# Said Too Much

Author: crashheart
Tags: Poetry

#1 of Poetry

2005
I am remembering the words I've spoken already
it's not just that they haunt me, just as much as their replies
it's that I worry I don't have anymore to say

I've been discovering a lot lately..  
in words people say to each other, across inches and decades of miles  
we only have so many words of love inside  
I'm inclined to think from birth  
and we can let them forth, giddy and unchecked, and never get them back again  
once spent, that's it.  
I feel like Ive said some things in time, that maybe were meant for someone else  
down the line  
and I don't know what to do  
I've said a lot already  
maybe too much  
  
and what I've heard has me thinking  
how we sometimes let things go  
and regret it later  
how we sometimes wish, that our words would check out at the door  
agree to a curfew  
and take a cellphone with them  
and that cute guy they're out with, how we wish we could trust him  
to remain innocent  
but we cant  
  
some say love is blind  
I want it shot, deaf and dumb, tied to a chair and bleeding  
but I will put my knives away  
leave them glinting in the darkness  
I only want to pound something because I'm mad at myself  
and powerless to change  
  
some have written on love  
the whole world, one could guess  
a few scribblings to each at least  
the heart would write novels if it were able  
farbeit for me to add to the fray  
with fiery words of passion that will fade  
pass to ash and become dust in my mouth  
I've heard many things, that love is blind  
that love is fair, that love is all I need  
and I admit, I'm not the most experienced  
not enough to speak, no  
but I am enough to listen  
through the mindless reckless voices of this earth  
I listened to you

 and I couldn't shake from me the words you said  
each spoken quiet, from an honest heart  
one that was gold in its gentle spirit  
and with them came a realization, of something lost upon this world  
we are born with these words inside us  
words of love and devotion to give away  
and each one worth all the treasure of a thousand lifetimes  
once spoken...  
  
you told me in the quiet that I was special, loved alone among many  
that I was yours, no distance to sever  
and I counted myself lucky  
lucky like the heavens themselves had been signed over in my name  
and my wings strapped on  
lucky like the sea between us had just parted  
like my prison bars just fell away, this day.  
I knew that I was yours, and to be so felt so right  
fit within everything I am and made me whole  
I knew your words helped me  
awoke in me my quiet answers to them  
of thanks and belonging and joy and hope  
and every future we could find before our feet  
plans to walk them all  
together, and knowing nothing more mattered  
apart from that  
I knew my words trembled and fell shakily  
amongst the grass and flowers that circled  
perpetual, at your feet  
but that was alright  
you were content with my frailties  
and nothing more was all you wanted  
you and I were everything and enough   
and all we were was  
what we were supposed to be  
  

 these words  
burn brightly in the grate  
from flame to ember beneath the irons  
and I search my heart for what I have still  
these words  
have gone out like new wine  
poured and thrown the cork away  
unneeded, the best first  
they fell on you, a harvest field  
fertile 'neath the midday sun  
it shone  
and I was summer in your eyes  
bringing the change of seasons on my wing  
but you saw the calendar page turn before I did  
numbered each day  
like counting each heartbeat  
and in the space between them  
were sudden miles and empty dust  
and me, coughing, saying your name  
over and over again in your wake  
until it meant something to me  
willing you to speak again  
to fill the silence with your soft voice  
utter anything at all  
except these words  
  
I've been realizing a lot lately..  
in words people say to each other, across inches and decades of miles  
we only have so many words of love inside  
from birth we set them forth, giddy and unchecked, and never get them back  
spend them like bitter water after new wine  
I feel like Ive said some things in time,  
that were not meant to be mine  
they were bound for someone else  
and I don't know what to do  
I've said a lot already  
I've said too much to you

Source: https://sofurry.com/view/543904