{"sf1_id":553318,"sf2_id":"k1V4AQjm","title":"Defenses Down","author":"Rogal Ursus","words":242,"posted_at":"2013-06-20T02:52:00.000Z","tags":["Depression","Poetry"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/553318-defenses-down","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/k1V4AQjm","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/c2/23/c2231367-73d9-4632-9b31-acdb936e3f73","description":"#4 of Poetry","content":" **Defenses Down**\n\nEarly on, we build walls to protect ourselves\n\nTo protect those we care about\n\nTo protect the things we care about\n\nFor the most part, we go through our lives\n\nNothing happening and everything is safe\n\nOnce in a while though, things go wrong\n\nThose we love, including ourselves are hurt, harmed\n\nThe things we love are taken, destroyed\n\nOur lives change\n\nWe strive so hard to regain that feeling of safety\n\nBut sometimes the world, the universe has other plans\n\nWe become victims over and over\n\nOur lives never the same again\n\nOur defenses are shattered so bad\n\nThey can never be rebuilt\n\nWe will never again feel safe\n\nSafe with ourselves\n\nSafe with others\n\nSafe within the world, the universe\n\n* * *\n\n_As I write this, I am in a bad place right now. Recent incidents have my defenses shattered to the point, I'm not sure if I will ever be able to rebuild them. I have begun to open very deep and very old wounds. It's like slicing right to the bone, because that's how I feel. I feel like my defenses, my skin itself has been flayed from my body. (I know it's a bad picture.) But I really can't help it. I don't feel safe in my own skin, I don't feel safe letting friends see who I am, even feeling safe in my own house. And I don't know what to do next._\n\n  \n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/550843-eyes-open.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/582907-empty-house.json"}}