{"sf1_id":563485,"sf2_id":"P1EAJXA1","title":"How I Arrived","author":"Riverweasel","words":3695,"posted_at":"2013-07-15T04:45:00.000Z","tags":["Ferret","Lizard","M/solo","Mustelid","NC","Pain","Rape","Violence"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/563485-how-i-arrived","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/P1EAJXA1","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/e1/b7/e1b7030a-acd3-4ea4-bae7-390e16b01700","description":"#1 of The Mental Institution\n\nAn abused ferret's cry for help turns to horror and disaster and he's left to pick up the pieces of his own broken shell. Not a story you'll find yourself smiling to.","content":"My cheek stung as I slowly stumbled down to my room, trying to hide the tears that  \nso desperately tried to break through the surface. Yet again, he had come home  \ndrunk, and yet again, my mother passed all blame of everything onto me. He had  \nstormed down to my room and dragged me out, leading me up to the kitchen to  \nscream profanities at me and then eventually beat my body down, demanding I get  \nback up so he could punch my face again.\n\nI made it through four rounds this time before his fist landed squarely with my  \njaw and I collapsed on the floor, my head reeling, maw throbbing too hard to  \neven produce a sound. Surely, I had lost teeth this time, but my focus quickly  \nturned to instinctual self-defense after his foot hit my ribs with a hard kick.  \nGasping as sharp pain lanced through me like a shockwave, my flexible body  \ncurled up protectively, but that only spurred him forward as his feet kicked me  \nrelentlessly, shot after shot to my now exposed spine. I barked and squealed  \nuntil I had been hit so many times that I couldn't make a sound anymore.\n\nMercifully, I felt his foot simply press against my back, but it was short lived. With yet  \nanother spit laced insult, he shoved me with his leg and I found myself  \ntumbling down the stairs to the floor below. As I laid there, too physically  \ndamaged to move, I heard my father stroll back to the fridge, knowing he was  \ngrabbing the bottle of whiskey to pour himself some more. Clawing at the floor,  \nI did all I could to hide myself, hoping that if I disappeared from sight, he'd  \nat least forget about me for the rest of the night.\n\nBlood dripped from my nose and I found myself nearly choking on the same liquid in my  \nmouth, managing to swallow the copper flavored juice before gasping in as full  \nof a breath as I could. Finding the strength to crawl, I made it to the door,  \nlifting myself up to my feet before gingerly limping the rest of the way. Sleep  \ncame quickly, the only solace in this world of pain. I had neither the strength  \nnor any energy left to care about my unfinished homework, even though that  \nwould surely be the reason for the inevitable beating tomorrow. However, for  \nnow, any escape was beautiful.\n\nNormally, I was able to hide the pain while I was at school, putting on the persona of  \nthe cool kid who didn't care about his education. I was the ferret who sat in  \nthe back of class and either slept or just did his own thing. My grades were  \nterrible and though I had the intellect to achieve far better than just D's,  \nsurvival was my priority, not school. Being a junior in high school, I had  \nalready worn thin on all my teachers and no one seemed to really give a damn  \nabout me or about anything I did.\n\n\"Sable Thomas, are you even listening to me?\" My ears flicked a little bit as I  \nwearily stared up at the ignorant substitute teacher. I could hear the sounds  \nof muffled laughter as my classmates waited in baited humor to hear what I  \nwould say. Considering I had stopped giving a damn about this place years ago,  \nmy response was both immediate and automatic. With a humorless chuckle of my  \nown, I replied.\n\n\"I'm sorry, what was that?\" Several other furs couldn't hold it back any longer and  \ntheir laughing only seemed to infuriate the raccoon and as the seconds of  \nwordless noise continued on, I knew where I'd be sent. A few ticks on the clock  \nlater and I was grabbing my unopened textbook and leaving the class, allegedly  \non my way to the principal's office. I had no plans on actually going there  \nthough, as I made a detour to the bathroom to release the pent up frustration  \nthat built up like a volcano.\n\nWhile some guys jerked it off and blew white spurts into the toilet, I found that to  \nbe far too unsatisfying, not to mention undeserved. My release was far sharper,  \nfar less pleasurable, but with what I did, I had complete control of when I  \nfelt and how long I felt it. Rolling up a sleeve on my left arm, I saw the  \nlines on my arm, the ladder that stretched from my wrist to just below the  \nelbow, a timeline of recent history as I moved up so the previous wound could  \nheal back up. Pulling out the small pocket knife I kept constantly hidden in my  \ncargo pants, I locked the door to a stall behind me.\n\nAs a ferret, one would normally think that I would be energetic or outgoing, clever  \nor witty, but I only thought of myself as a failure. My father always liked to  \nuse more decorative words, but it all boiled down to the fact that I couldn't  \nmeasure up to his standards. The anger I felt towards him didn't compare to the  \nhate I directed at myself. This was the only way I could release enough pain on  \nmy own body to keep me from killing myself to just put an end to it.\n\nTaking a deep breath, I brought the blade to my wrist, feeling the sharp edge bite  \ninto the skin hiding underneath my ugly fur. It took little effort for the  \nknife to break through as I slid it heavily over the reopened cut, hissing as  \npain rushed through my arm, holding my arm over the open toilet as blood  \ninstantly began streaming down my paw. Both emotional and physical pain coursed  \nthrough me as the tears I held back all the time at school and in front of my  \nfather streamed down my face. I hated myself, detested my very existence,  \nwished for death, but it never came to me.\n\nI kept flexing my paw, increasing the rate of the bleeding, biting my lip as I  \nshuddered. Tears felt like they were streaming down my face as fast as the  \nblood did with my paw. What was it that I was doing so wrong? Why did my  \nparents hate me, why did my dad beat me? The same questions haunted me, but as  \nusual, there were no answers for it and so I just stood there, letting the  \nblood flow, feeling the small rush of adrenaline start to pump through me as my  \nbody reacted to the loss of blood.\n\nNormally, after a few minutes, I would start to put pressure on the cut to help it  \nfinally clot, but yesterday's beating had been severe, and so consequently,  \nthere was more to release. I had easily streamed out a half pint of blood by  \nthe time I began to feel lightheaded, lowering myself to my knees to keep from  \nfalling. I barely heard the bell ring, signaling the short break between  \nclasses, but I didn't care. I was unlike any stereotypical ferret; I wasn't  \nmischievous and my humor was only fueled by a mutual relationship of disgust  \nbetween the world and myself. Again, the teacher would only glare at me as I  \nwalked in, ignoring the sullen attitude, writing me off as just a future  \nfailure, a mustelid that would simply live off welfare for the rest of his  \nlife.\n\nOther furs walked into the bathroom, taking the time to relieve themselves before the  \nnext class break, but as the noises settled back down, I heard the unsettling  \nnoise of someone being pushed around, the clear voice of Tracy, followed by the  \nincoherent agreements from his followers as they shoved some unfortunate fur  \nagainst...my stall door. I flinched as I heard the door shudder, scooting myself  \nback against the toilet in order to try and keep myself hidden. Morbid  \ncuriosity caused me to look at the bottom flap of the doorframe, the small  \nopening where a bushy white tail flicked about nervously, the short silence  \nbefore the real storm.\n\n\"So,\" Tracy began it all, the goat speaking aloud, \"my  \nfriends here tell me that you looked at one of them funny.\" Tracy's evil laugh  \nechoed quietly in the restroom. The barnyard ungulate's father was a big school  \ndonor, and a very irresponsible parent, using his power in the school to keep  \nthe administrators from doing anything to his son. This gave him free rule  \nthroughout the building and he knew it and abused it.\n\n\"I...I don't know what you're talking about.\" The  \nmysterious character's meek voice stuttered out in fear, but I knew that it  \nwould get him nowhere. My ermine body hadn't only been beaten by my dad; I knew  \nTracy in a rather physical way, having crossed his path more often than I would  \nhave liked. It wouldn't take more than one guess to figure out what Tracy had  \nin store for the unlucky victim and I could feel a chilling shudder run over my  \nspine as the vision of what would come next ran through my mind.\n\n\"Sure you don't, but don't worry. I'll help remind you.  \nHold him still boys.\"\n\n\"No...\" That was all the poor guy got out before several  \nother furs grabbed hold of him and worked to pin him against my stall. He  \ntwisted around as much as he could, but it was minimal and there was no  \nstopping Tracy's fist when it slammed into his stomach. He doubled over, but  \nhis friends soon forced him up again, only for the goat to drill him in his gut  \nagain. This continued for several rounds until the victim, who I had figured  \nout was a fox, heaved and threw up on the floor.\n\n\"Stupid dog. Get him in that stall so he can throw up in  \nthere. I just bought these shoes yesterday.\"\n\nI froze in fear as I heard that line, knowing that in seconds, they'd find out it  \nwas locked. It was then that I realized I had forgotten about my hand, the  \nclean cut still bleeding as heavily as before. My eyes locked on to the large  \nstreams flowing down the side of the toilet and I went blank, my mind going too  \nfaint from the loss of blood.\n\n\"Yo, Trace, the door's locked man. Think someone's in  \nthere.\"\n\n\"Oh really. Lucky us, we have an audience. Don't worry  \nabout the door, I got this.\"\n\nA small metal hook, one that had been made from a paper clip, snuck in the little  \ngap between the door and side partition, twisting around to slip over the lock  \nhandle. With a simple flick of his wrist, the lock dislodged and the door  \nopened a second later. A collective gasp rushed through a few of them as they  \nsaw me, the blood now streaming over my arm, unabated, the knife still gripped  \nin my other paw. I stared at the goat and he stared right back at me, Tracy  \nmeasuring me up and down, deciding in his mind if it was worth attacking a  \nclearly unstable fur with a knife.\n\n\"Well, if it isn't the biggest failure in this school's  \nhistory. Let's say we drop this fox for now and take care of the ferret.\"\n\n\"I don't know man. We'd have to get past his knife first,  \nbecause I'm not getting stabbed.\"\n\n\"Use the fox. If he stabs him, it won't be on me or us,  \nit'll be on this loser.\"\n\nSeconds later, one of Tracy's cohorts came walking in, hidden directly behind the now  \npanicking canine, his eyes locked on mine in terror. I stared at him in slight  \nconfusion before I suddenly felt my paw yanked to the side as someone else  \ngrabbed the knife from my fingers before slamming my wrist into the floor with  \nhis fist. I yelped, but found myself stuck in the back, with no room to move  \naway. The fox was shoved forward before being viciously punched again in the  \nchest, spewing more vomit into the toilet he was forcibly pointed at.\n\nNot all of it landed in the toilet, a little bit splattering onto my face and  \nchest, causing me to flinch and try to pull away, but I couldn't go anywhere.  \nThe white dog threw up multiple times, with the lizard behind him encouraging  \nhim to continue with his fists. When all he could do was heave, the reptile  \nsimply lifted his head up and turned towards Tracy.\n\n\"Take whoever you want, Mike.\"\n\nMike's eyes turned back to the stall and locked with mine and I whimpered out a weak  \nchirp as fear mixed with the continuous loss of blood overwhelmed me.\n\n\"You can have the dog then. The damned ferret is mine.\"\n\nWith a shove, the fox was thrown out of the stall, collapsing on the ground in  \ntears, but I quickly lost focus on him as I felt the lizard's hand gripped my  \nthroat, lifting me up as I squirmed lamely. I grabbed at his hand, unable to  \nsee or prepare for when his knee smashed into my gut. A scream of agony would  \nhave ripped through my maw as I felt a rib crack, but his grip around my throat  \nkept me near completely silent.\n\nI felt myself turned around and had little time to even think before my face  \nplunged into the vomit filled toilet, my forepaws splayed out behind me, and  \nthen taken hold of and locked at the wrist behind my back by one of his hands.  \nI thrashed as best I could with my pained chest, but couldn't get away. My  \nlungs burned and soon I couldn't stop my instinctual gasp, sucking in a  \nmouthful of puke just as Mike lifted me from the pool.\n\nChoking and coughing, gagging on the puke, the toxic smell of it overwhelmed me and I  \nretched myself, pouring my own acidic fluids into the toilet while I heard the  \nlizard laugh behind me. As soon as I finally stopped, I felt myself slowly  \nlowered back into the slime, my maw and face slipping back into the murky,  \nstinging bile. Without any ability to control the situation, I went limp, just  \nletting the half-digested food disgustingly caress my face. It wasn't until I  \nfelt a scaled hand start fingering the button clasp to my shorts that I  \nreturned to reality, beginning to shake around again as the denim quickly was  \nforced down to my ankles, exposing my boxers and then, my bare ass and package  \nto the air and eyes.\n\nI would have yelled out in rage had I the air to do it with, but for now, all I  \ncould do was die inside as my brain registered his touch on my ferret sheath, a  \ngentle squeeze that could have been mistaken for affectionate if the  \ncircumstances had been different, but for now, they only served to increase my  \nhumiliation. Mike was going to rape me, with my face submerged in puke, and he  \nwas going to make it even worse by forcing me to physically react to it.\n\n\"Stay silent bitch, or else you aren't going to get  \nanother lungful of air for a long time.\"\n\nOnly a second or two of free air followed before I was underneath the pool of puke  \nagain. It took nearly half a minute of his teasing, but soon, my ferrethood was  \nout and rigid, pulsing in his grasp, reacting strongly as it had been weeks  \nsince I had paid it any attention. I knew my pleasure wasn't his ultimate focus  \nand so it didn't surprise me when I felt a warm rod press in against my rump,  \ndigging its way straight to my tailhole. A few dribbles of precum were all I  \nwas given as lubrication before Mike plunged into my formerly virgin ass.\n\nEverything turned into a blur after that. I only remembered a few select moments: my  \nclimax, a teacher's scream when she found me, and then a few blurred seconds of  \nawareness on a stretcher. Consciousness spun and zoned in and out of nightmares  \nof beatings and then complete silence; finally, I came back to the world, gasping  \nas if I was still in the toilet and hadn't breathed for hours. I looked around,  \nfinding myself on a bed, with monitors beeping and two strange furs in chairs  \nnearby, while one other lady cat busied herself taking notes of what the  \nmonitors said.\n\n\"Sable, are you there. Are you okay?\"\n\nI saw the raccoon's mouth move and heard words come out of it, but suddenly I  \nturned inside myself as my eyes locked on the sight of Tracy at the doorway,  \nMike right next to him.\n\n\"Did you enjoy yourself yesterday, ferret? There's more  \nwhere that came from.\"\n\nPure, unabated terror swept through me and I screamed, thrashing around on the bed as  \nI desperately tried to get away from them as they walked closer. Sweeping my  \neyes around what used to be a room, I now saw nothing more than my body  \nstrapped down over a table, naked as Mike pulled his pants down and approached  \nme. I wasn't going to let this happen again. NO, NOT AGAIN! Suddenly I felt a  \nsurge of calmness run through my body, my struggles ceasing, the nurse's  \nsedatives rushing through me, though it did nothing to stop the horror show  \nplaying in my mind as the lizard grabbed my waist and impaled me once more.\n\nI woke up yet again, even more exhausted than before, to the sensation of being  \nstroked. I felt a soft paw run over my tired arm and heard small sobs coming  \nfrom my side. Turning my head, I saw the raccoon from before and instinctively  \nI recoiled back, snarling at her as rage boiled inside me so fast I couldn't  \neven target where it was coming from. She was quick to pull back, giving  \nherself enough distance to avoid any injury, but she didn't break the soft  \nsmile on her face, though her eyes told of hours' worth of tears.\n\n\"Sable, it's going to be okay. We're he-\"\n\nI hissed as soon as I heard the masculine voice, the only image coming to my mind  \nwas that of my father and as soon as I saw the male's arm was within my reach,  \nI lunged forward and snapped my jaws shut around his arm. At least I would have  \nif I had been able to move my head far enough, but I felt myself restrained  \nfrom doing so. Looking down, I noticed in horror at the sight of leather cuffs  \naround my ankles and wrists and even then felt the soft bite of a firm leather  \ncollar around me. I then also noticed that the room looked different from the  \none I had been in earlier. This one had padded walls and dizzying images that  \nthreatened to drive me insane if I looked at them for too long.\n\n\"Who the fuck are you and where am I?!\"\n\nIt felt good to yell, so good to see the look of pain come over his face and I grinned  \nin satisfaction at the response, even if it was only a second-long victory.\n\n\"He's the man currently filing papers for guardianship of  \nyou, but until we see that you're mentally fit to be released, no such work can  \ncontinue. As for where you are, you're at the Rochester Mental Institute. We  \nmoved you here after your first outbreak and you've been in and out for the  \nlast few days. This is the first time you've actually been coherent in nearly a  \nweek.\"\n\n\"I've been out for a week.\"\n\nEven the shock of that knowledge was enough to change my focus for a bit. Though, as  \nI ran through the information, I also heard the next line.\n\n\"I've tried to contact your parents, but so far, they  \nhaven't picked up the phone. Do you happen to know of any reason why they wouldn't  \nbe answering?\"\n\nI took his tone as condescending and responded in kind.\n\n\"Fuck you.\"\n\nHe didn't even flinch, the buck shrugging before writing something in his notes  \nand then turning back towards me.\n\n\"Although I know part of you won't want to hear this, I  \ndo know there's part of you inside that needs some sort of closure to the  \nhorror you went through. The lizard, Mike as you know him, was arrested  \nyesterday after the DNA swab matched his. The courts are trying him for second  \ndegree rape and physical assault as an adult. He's facing up to twenty years in  \njail.\"\n\n\"Great deal of good that does me, huh?\"\n\n\"I know that having him in prison isn't going to erase  \nwhat happened to you, but we're all doing the best we can to help you.\"\n\n\"Help me? HELP ME?! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN MY DAD  \nBEAT ME EVERY DAY? WHERE WERE ANY OF YOU WHEN I CUT MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM  \nEVERY MORNING?!\"\n\nI gasped for breath, but I wasn't done and as soon as I saw the buck begin to  \ntake a breath to speak again, I continued on.\n\n\"Where were you when Mike's cock was stabbing me in the  \nass while forcing me to drink mine and someone else's vomit from a toilet? You  \nweren't there then and you aren't just going to show up now. I don't deserve  \nhelp.\"\n\n\"Sable, I know you're feeling a lot of pain rig-\"\n\n\"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! None of you do. I don't want  \nhelp from you now or any other time. Just get out, all of you.\"\n\nI could see the hesitance in the two raccoons' eyes and so I made myself even  \nclearer.\n\n\"GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!\"\n\nThey didn't take long to leave and soon I was alone inside my new prison. The rage  \nturned to sorrow and pain and it wasn't long before I was sobbing  \nuncontrollably. My paws clenched and I wished to be held in someone's arms, but  \nI didn't deserve that, so I just laid there, my arms and legs trapped to the  \nbed, crying until the sorrow turned to exhaustion and I fell into a dreamless  \nsleep.\n\n  \n  \n\n"}