{"sf1_id":579592,"sf2_id":null,"title":"Letting Go","author":"Ahmar_Wolf","words":5769,"posted_at":"2013-08-21T20:59:00.000Z","tags":["Bear","Human","Wolf"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/579592-letting-go","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/579592","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=579592\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"I wrote this story to deal with the loss of my real life brother. It deals with no wanting to let go, holding on to whatever you can even if the idea is pure insanity. But it also deals with coming to terms, finding a happy middle ground which is sorta where my life is now.","content":"\nIt had been days after his brother's\npassing, that he began going through both of their belongings to see\nnot only what could be kept, but what had to be tossed, and what\ncould get donated. But when he discovers while going through a box, a\nsmall ceramic figure of a bear. A flood of memories now fill his\nevery waking moment as he recalls how his mother gave it to Dennis as\na birthday present long ago, back when they both were still little\nmore than kids. It was time also when they had little money for\nextras, but still she wanted them to have at least something. But\ndespite all the moves, and all that had happened to the pair of them\nsince their mother's own passing. The bear remained intact, while his\nglass marble mouse had long since disappeared. As he holds that bear\ntight to his chest he cries his heart out\"Dennis why did you\nhave to die?!!!\".\n\nHe lost not only his brother, his best\nfriend, someone he could always count on being there with no\nquestions asked. \"Dennis, why couldn't you tell me you had\ncancer\", but there is no answer for is is very much alone. The\nlonger the man holds that figure of a bear, the more questions he\nhas, than answers. He knew his brother had jaundice for more than a\nyear but really never thought twice about it. Oh sure his G.I. Doctor\nhinting at possible cancer, with more a wait and see\nattitude...terminal cancer was the last thing on his mind. But they\nhad been close all there lives, after all they had never separated\nuntil that final trip to the hospital.\n\n\nHis sleep was restless most nights,\ntossing and turning, awake for hours without end. Along with the\nbouts of tears, that occur both day and night. Sure his heart was\nbroken over his loss, but still he wished he had answers to the\nquestions that raced around in his own mind. Like when did his\nbrother 1st knew, he had cancer and why those 3 trips to the hospital\nthe last 2 months of his life. But then there the biggest question\nwhen did his brother knew his cancer was terminal. In fact the only\nreason he found out about it through a family friend who was now a\nPastor demanding answers from Dennis who finally let his doctors\nspeak the truth.\n\nOh he remembers that horrible, horrible\nday when his brothers doctors called him in for a meeting. Once they\ngave him the news, he felt as if his world caved in beneath him. He\nstill is uncertain how he got home.\n\nThen there was the worse days to come\nkeeping his brothers hopes alive as the cancer spread in those final\n2 weeks. He prays to God forgiveness for trying to block out part of\nthe very last day he ever spent. It was there in his room as they\nshared apple juice and orange creme bars...like they did when they\nwere kids. They talked about future plans, and life itself. But in\nhis hearts of hearts he knew this would never happen. For once he\nleft his brother and decided to go home. Tears rained down both\ncheeks for the remainder of the day.\n\nLess than 36 hours later his brother\ndied.\n\n\"Dr. Ed Delmar, you know you have\nclasses to teach. I know it is a tragic loss when a family member\ndies but it's been months and you haven't return to work\". That\nis what his college president said to him, his only answer was, \"I\nquit\".\n\nHe wanted answers, after all they had\nbeen so close nothing was ever a secret to them. But this cancer, was\nwas no logic behind why his brother keep it a secret right up near\nthe end. He had tried God, mediums, and psychics and all he found he\nwas just as lost and as devastated as he was the day of his brother's\nmemorial service.\n\n\"What good is all this education I\nhave if it leaves me empty inside!!!\" he screamed as he stood by\nan open window of his 19th floor apt as he pondered life itself. Then\nhe suddenly had this germ of an idea of building a device to\ncommunicate with the dead. He knew it had been tried before without\nsuccess. But he was sort of a genius with electronics and he knew the\nexperts who could possibly guide him in the right direction in to\nbuilding such a device. He then shut the window and logged in to his\nPC\nand did his research.\n\n\nDriven like a madman which he was\nslowly becoming, even after months after abandoning friends, and\n\nassociates he thought he had discover a\npreviously undiscovered wave. Every time he concentrated a unique\nsignal would appear on the computer screen. His mind reasoned that\nthis must be the wave that connects the living to the dead. That was\nwhen his real work began, building a device to use that signal to\nreach out to contact those who were no longer around.\n\n\nThe project took years and everything\nhe had just to reach out to his now long dead brother, save for that\nceramic bear which always sat right next to his work. Now living in\na shack on the edge of town, the device was now complete. He then\nturned it on, the screen appeared which was composed of pure energy\nas slowly a picture began to appear of that of fields of what. As he\ncame closer he could see it was of corn and tomatoes and all sorts of\nvegetables. He had to stop and think about it for a moment.\nWhere had he seen something like that\nbefore. Back at the old farmhouse they had as kids. But when he heard\nthe voice of his brother say, \"We need to plant the raspberries\nover there\". He knew it had to be him and began crying out,\n\"Dennis, Dennis it's me your brother Ed!!! For God's sake can't\nyou hear me!!!\". There was nothing for the longest time, then he\nheard the voice say, \"Ed?!\".\n\n\nThat was when Ed reached out towards\nthe screen, and shack was suddenly blown apart by a terrific\nexplosion which leveled everything. Leaving nothing more than rubble\nin it's wake.\n\nFor Ed did not die all he could\nremember is the feeling of falling for what seemed like forever until\nhe finally passed out.\n\n\nBefore finding himself in the modest\nfarmhouse, which the more he thought about reminded him of the one\nfrom his childhood. He almost felt like this had to be a dream as he\nsat up and began to look around. Everything was there from the quilt\nwith it's colorful design hanging on the walls. To the rough made\nfurniture built by his father and grandfather and then to discover he\nhad been covered this quilt, he found himself almost in tears because\nit was the very same one of his childhood which had been lost for\nyears. The same could be said for everything he saw. The furniture,\nthe lamps, the rugs, in fact everything he knew all too well. He even\nlooked through an open doorway to see if there was staircase to an\nupper floor. Sure enough it in deed was there, and so was the\nhandmade red rug that always lay at the bottom of the stairs. He\nsuddenly remembered running down those stairs as a kid and sliding on\nthe carpet as he hit literally bottom. He laughed at the thought of\nnearly breaking his tail bone more than once.\n\n\nEd was crying tears of joy when he\nsuddenly heard the voice of his brother say, \"Ahh, your awake\nWould you like something to drink\". Which was something he would\nalways say to his brother in the mornings. \"Sure anything would\nbe fine\". \"Good enough\". Ed could not believe any of\nthis was this real or did he finally go mad.\n\n\nBut then it hit him, his family lost\nthe house shortly after his father died of leukemia. Oh sure his\nmother made an effort to keep the house and the family possessions in\nthe end but for some reason or the other they lost everything in the\nend.\n\nHe was just checking out a table,\npacifically this one drawer to see if a particular pair of scissors\njust happened to be there when he finally heard someone coming. He\nwaited with excitement.\n\nThat is when he saw him, it wasn't the\nfigure of his brother. It was a bear dressed in overhauls and boots,\nall the while carrying 2 wooden cups. Ed freaked out the moment he\nsaw it, and made a run for the door...at least he did until the bear\nsaid in a voice that could of belonged to his brother, \"What is\nit with you wolves, someone offers you something and you go out of\nyour minds...like your all crazy or something\". That was when Ed\nstopped as it suddenly hit him, \"Did you say wolves?\" That\nbear looked at him like he was out of his head, \"Yes your a\nwolf, and a naked one at that\". That was when Ed finally looked\nat himself and saw he was covered in his own fur, in a pattern\nresembling that of a wolf. Then he felt his own face and head, which\nleft him asking, \"What the hell happened to me I was a human\nbeing?!!\". As the bear finally handed him the cup, \"I don't\nknow anything about these human beings your talking about. I just\nknow if you want to hang around here your going to have to wear some\nclothes, and work for your room and board. Know anything about\nfarming wolf?\".\n\n\nEd almost had no time to absorb it all,\nexpect to reply \"The name is Ed\". \"Funny that name\nseems strangely familiar, have you ever been around this way before\".\n\"No I guess not\". \"The name is Dennis, and this is my\nfarm. We grow fruit and vegetables for the people in and around this\nvalley...as long as no one steals them\". \"Sounds like you\ngot problems\". \"Mainly with wolves, they think because I get\nit from nature for free, they can just take it anytime they want.\nThey just don't know the hard work involved in keeping my crops\nhealthy. I hope you can keep your wolf buddies at bay\". By the\nway Dennis pointed his finger at him, he knew he meant that. The only\nreply Ed could give was \"Okay, I'll\ntry, and I do know something about\nfarming\".\n\nDennis then showed him a bunch of old\nwork clothes in a back room, \"They belonged to an old farm hand\nby the name of Hank\". \"Hand Drebble\", Ed wonders as he\nremembers that is the man who helped around the family farm when he\nwas just a kid. \"I don't know this Drebble, but I do know this\nHank and his love of fermented berry juice. That is why he no longer\nworks for me, work out well and you might get paid. Don't and you'll\nleave here as I found you\". That was when Ed turned to Dennis\nand asked, \"How did you find me?\". \"That was the\nfunniest thing I was over by the field where I plan on planting some\nraspberry vines, to see how much work has to be done. Then there you\nwere naked as I found you, as if someone threw you there...they\ndidn't did they\". Scratching his head, \"All I can remember\nis being in some sort of explosion\". \"Then your lucky to be\nalive, now once you get dressed I want you to place that cup in the\nsink then follow me outside and grab a pick we have a lot of work to\ndo before we plant them late this winter\".\n\nFinally Ed was left alone, frankly he\nhad a hard time making heads and tails of all of this...especially\nhis own. Which was definitely real...as it hurt when he tugged on it.\n'Dennis a bear?!'\n\nIt was good to be back on a farm again.\nThe memories from his childhood just kept on flooding in. But then\nthere was this Dennis who was so much like his own late brother...but\nsorta different as well. This one could cook, as he quickly learned,\n\"Like that juice I gave you, it's my own combination\". But\nthat wasn't all, when Ed asked about the farm, \"The farm, I got\nit from my parents. They are both retired now, they live in a home\nrun by our cousins for retired senior folk\". \"Then I guess\nyou have nobody to leave it to when your gone\". \"I know you\nwolves, your not going to get this place. I plan on getting married\nto Susan, this winter. She has her own place on the other side of the\nvalley. She is planning on turning her farm over to other relations\nand once they prove to her they can run her farm, she will be moving\nin with me...after were married of course\".\n\nNaturally he was left with more\nquestions than he had answers for, but he also quickly discover this\none\nhad the same concern for others like\nhis late brother. As they walked to where the raspberries was going\nto be planted. Carrying the tools they needed Dennis asked him, \"I\nknow you wolves take great pride in your families. I don't expect\nyou'll be seeing them soon\". Ed just sighed, \"I lost my\nfather due to cancer back when I was still just a kid, my mother a\nstroke when I was 17, and my brother all too recently also to\ncancer\". That was when this Dennis patted him on the back, \"I\nam truly sorry, cancer can be a bitch. So your all alone in this\nworld\". \"(sigh) I am not even a mate anywhere in sight\".\n\"I guess your left feeling empty inside\". \"I sure am,\nsometimes it hurts more than I can stand it. You see my brother hid\nthe fact he had cancer and when I found out it was already too late\".\n\"You know some people will hide the fact that something will be\ntaking there lives. But they don't want to pass along that torment to\nanyone, I guess your brother was like that\". \"Sure was, it\nwas like you were there\". \"..and when you found out it was\nterminal. It was only then he wanted help...right?!'. \"Right?!!!\"\n\"He just wanted to spare you his torment, maybe he had the kind\nof cancer at first that could not be easily treated, some cancers can\nbe like that\". Ed just looked at him wondering if there was some\nconnection between Dennis the bear and his brother. \"He most\nlikely wanted to ease your burden, little knowing that if you had\nmore time with him while he still was alive you could handle what you\neventually went through far better. Instead of feeling so empty that\nthe idea of suicide became acceptable and possibly a choice you\nalmost made. Just remember everyone has faults, and I guess your\nbrother was no exception. He might of dropped the ball in the way he\nhandled it, but your alive and here for a reason. I know they say\nthat in church all the time. But think about, how much have your life\nchanged already...not for the worse but for the better. Like finding\nme for one\". Dennis just patted him on the back once again, \"It\ngives you something to thank about\".\n\n\nEd may of heard those exact same words\nbefore but it was different this time around. He actually felt as\nif his late brother had explained his\nactions. For the first time in a very long time he could say he felt\nbetter.\n\n\nBut the more he thought about Dennis\nthe Bear, he knew this wasn't his brother. But he did like being\naround someone who simply cared about him again.\n\nHe may of felt better, but not so about\nthe work this Dennis wanted him to do. As Dennis laid out his plans,\n\"Conditions here are perfect for raspberries, except the soil\nyou see which is full of large rocks. I need to have you dig down\nabout 4 feet removing all the rocks you can and piling them up next\nto the cart I have over there. Once you get them all dug up then I\nwant you to haul the rocks to that large boulder you see next to the\npeas down there. You see later I plan on using some of those rocks\nfor a flower/herb garden for Susan. Don't worry about replacing the\nsoil a neighbor is coming later with soil he says is perfect\".\n\"So this Susan loves raspberries\". \"Yes, in a way. You\nsee I actually growing them for a neighbor. Her name is Millie she\nmakes the best raspberry jam you ever tasted..but she can't grow any\nof them on her land...too many rocks. Now you get on with it...this\nshould only take you a couple days\". \"And you'll be\",\nEd wonders. \"In another part of my farm doing what I have to do,\nnow get on with it\".\n\n\nAs Ed worked with more a pick than a\nshovel began removing rock, after rock, after rock. after rock To him\nit seemed this soil was more rocks than anything else.\n\nThen Dennis pulled a surprise on him a\nfew hours later when he came to help him out. \"I see you done very\nlittle\". \"Call it 2 things too damn many rocks and I am not use\nto all this hard work, I use to be a teacher\". \"Ahh no wonder\nso little work has been done, you want teach those stones right out\nof the soil\". I was a bad joke, but Ed kinda laughed at the way\nthis Dennis told it.\nBy the time night came and work was\nthrough for the day Dennis offered him, \"I don't how much I can\ntrust you, especially after all my dealings with you wolves. You\nsleep in the barn tonight after dinner. Once you show that I can\ntrust you, I'll offer you a room in the house if that's okay with\nyou\". \"Anything you want...Dennis\". That was when the\nbear turned to him, \"I still can't quite figure out why do I\nthink I know you, I know this sounds funny, but your like the brother\nI never had\". Then he started to leave only adding, \"There\nis a bucket over by the door...wash up and Dinner will be ready, when\nit's ready\".\n\nAs Ed washed up, taking all the dirt\nout of his fur. He just felt plain confused by all of this. His\nparents...Alive?!! and seemly happy?!! Ed knew his father was a\ndrunken beast when he got near the bottle, his cancer only ended the\npure torment of the family. While his mother died of a stroke when he\nwas 17, on that horrible horrible night. Dennis getting married?!!\nHis brother wasn't plan interested in anyone male or female. If it\nwas an alternate reality it was as alternate as you could get.\n\nBut Dennis as it turned out was an\nexcellent cook...the meal was vegetarian, but there was more than he\n\ncould ever eat. But like his late\nbrother this one loved to talk. He learned about his neighbors for\nthe most part, and a name straight from his childhood. Carol, the\nfirst girl he ever had a crush upon. He learned she was single and\nlooking. Ed wondered to himself did the magic he had with his Carol\nextended to the one in this world.\n\nBy the time dinner was over Dennis, Ed\noffered to lend a hand in cleaning up. But Dennis had an even bigger\nsurprise, \"You know since you did a lot more work than I\nexpected, you can have one of the spare bedrooms upstairs.\n\n\nPacifically the one he showed him was\nhis old bedroom when he was a kid. Ed was so overwhelmed he was\ncrying out of pure emotion gave Dennis a big hug. \"Well show\nsomeone a little kindness, now you have a good night Ed, we have a\nlot of work the next morning\". \"We sure do\", as he\nwiped away the tears from his eyes.\n\n\nFinally he was left alone to think\nabout all that had happened today, but the one thing he had to admit\n he felt good about himself, more than\nhe had in years. Maybe being with this Dennis..was dare he say God's\nway of letting him know it was finally time for him to let go. For he\ndid remember that explosion, for only God could of saved his\nlife...for what purpose only time would tell.\n\nSpeaking of time, he was very tired,\ndown right sleepy so off with the work clothes and in to bed where he\nquickly fell asleep.\n\nThere was in deed a lot of work on the\nfarm, Ed did his share in the days and weeks that were to come.\n\nThere was times he fully admitted he\nwasn't in shape for all the hard work. Then Dennis asked him \"What\nkind of teacher were you\".\"Before this I was just a teacher of\nelectronics\". \"Well teacher this is reality of life on a\nfarm. I would not advise heading to our local school for a job. The\nones who are already there have a job for life...and I intend to add\nto there problems if you know what I mean\".\n\nDennis having kids...this truly was a\ndifferent world.\n\nFinally weeks later he came face to\nface with Dennis' biggest problem the wolves.\n\nHe had been in the far end of the field\nchecking on a crop of asparagus when he ran in to 24 of them. 17\nadults and 7 kids of various ages ranging from just a baby to a kids\njust being sick they are still kids.\n\nSo there he stood in his work clothes\nand there was the pack of wolves naked just in their fur and the\n\nvery first thing any of them says to\nhim, \"He smells funny, I don't trust him\". \"Neither\ndoes the farmer about you\". Then one apparently their leader\ncomes right up to him, \"Why not shed those clothes and join are\npack and be free\". \"And be hungry no thanks...that's why I\ngot a job. I am sure the farmer here would hire any of you there is\nmore than enough work around here\". \"Work is hard\",\nanother whines. \"It's better than being hungry, and by the way I\nwould not advise even nibbling on the plants around here most of the\nleaves will make you sick if you eat them\". \"A trick of a\nman that perverts nature\". \"He call you thieves\", that\nwas when some started growling. \"Look all you want is food to\nfill your empty bellies..right. I assume none of you would object to\neating the pests around the farm. Namely incests and\nrodents...right\". \"So what are you saying\", their\nleader adds. \"Look I am sure the farmer would have no objection\nif you eat only the pests around the farm. Then later this year we\nshare the harvest with you...at least what you can carry. What do you\nsay to that?\" That was when they\nhuddled around and began talking among\nthemselves, until there leader, \"Okay but all we have is your\nword\". \"What if I get the farmer over here and we talk\nabout this\". \"Agreed\".\n\nA short time later Dennis turned to Ed,\n\"I can't believe this, my problems with the wolves are over\".\n\"Best of all they are going to keep the fields pest free, and\nall it's going to cost you is a little produce\". That was when\nDennis slapped him on the back, \"I always said it takes a wolf\nto talk to a wolf, and you proved my point. You definitely paid at\nharvest time...you earned it\".\n\nBut that was not all for just 2 days\nlater while working in the field he noticed 2 wolf kids were watching\nhim as slowly a 3rd one was coming his way. Getting down\non one knee he asks, \"How can I help you\". That when one of the\nkids shouts out, \"We never seen anything like you before in our\nlives\". \"I guess I am a little different, of course where I came\nfrom is really different\". Then the other kid shouts, \"He's\nlying\". Then the 3rd kid who seemed a bit older asks\nhim, \"Tell us what is so different\". \"If you don't mind me\nworking, I'll tell you\". \"Sure go ahead\".\n\nBy the time he told them about life in\nthe city with it's noise and traffic. He had the kids to some\nweeding, \"That is when it hit him, \"These kids no absolutely\nnothing, except beyond surviving and that's it.\n\nAt the end of the day, he said to them,\n\"Any of your friends want to come around and know something I'll be\nglad to talk to you about it\". Sure enough nearly every wolf kid\nthat was able to walk was there, just to listen and help out. When\none of the mothers wondered what was up, he told her and the\nfollowing, \"They are good kids\". She just smiled.\n\n\n\nAbout a week later, Ed was out in the\nfield to see if Dennis had a smaller shovel for one of the kids when\nhe saw him running, he soon followed and quickly discovered why. It\nwas a female bear and\nher companion a foxy she wolf.\n\n\nBy the time Ed had caught up to then\nDennis, he was kissing what had to be Susan, meanwhile that sexy she\nwolf in a red dress, \"The name is Carol, and you are...\"\n\"Ed\". \"Why is it I feel like I know you\", Carol\nwondered. That was when when Susan \"Look Carol you never met\nany male wolf named Ed in your life\". \"I think I better\nexplain things Susan is my sister and I was adopted by her family\nafter I was abandoned on her family's doorstep\", Carol\nexplained. \"Oooo I wish you were left on my doorstep you look so\nfine in that red dress\". \"How nice of you to say\",\nWhen Susan took Dennis by the hand and walked towards the house.\nCarol stopped Ed, \"They want to be alone...after all they will\nbe getting married soon\". \"Maybe that's a good thing, it\nwill give us time to talk\", Ed said.\n\nAs they too walked towards the house,\nCarol wonders, \"So what have you been up to, I know silly I\nguess\". \"Not really it's more a matter of me getting use to\nlife on a farm again. You see I grew up on one until my father died\".\n\"I am sorry\". \"No need to be that was a long time\nago\". \"Have any friends back then?\". \"Lots, but I\nknow this sounds a bit silly I had this grade school crush on this\ngirl\". \"You remember her name?\" \"Don't laugh, it\nwas Carol\", she did anyway. \"I would do anything to get her\nattention, flowers, candy, even my favorite toys. You name it, I\ntried it\". \"Even if she wanted to play doctor\", that\nwas when Ed nodded. \"You got to be joking\", Carol laughed.\n\"No we actually played doctor, you know I'll show you mine, if\nyou show me yours\". Carol just seemed delighted by this,\n\"So I guess you and her really hit\nit off later\". \"Sadly no, my family lost our home and we\nhad to move. But the real reason things never went further was her\nsister, she just plain wanted to be there. I just couldn't get in to\nthat\". \"Frankly, I don't blame you. If I was doing you show\nme yours with a guy I liked. I wouldn't want anyone else to be around\nthere either\".\n\nThen suddenly they kissed, it wasn't\none of those it was over before it began kind of kisses. This one\nturned in to one of those tongue sharing, kisses of pure passion.\n\nThat was when one of the wolf kids came\nup to him and asked, \"Aren't you going to finish your story\". \"I\nhave to take care of this first, but will be back later\".\n\n\nIn fact an hour later on the porch\nswing, Ed was saying, \"They are such good kids, and they know\nnothing\". \"One thing you learn around here that sometime people\nhave there own agenda when it comes to their own kids\". \"Sounds\nlike someone here has a little experience...\" That was when Carol\nturned to him, \"What is that suppose to mean?\" \"You want to\nargue or kiss\", that is when she kissed him, and later \"I\nnever kissed a woman like that before in my entire life\". \"I\ncould say almost the same thing, you know Ed I think we have fallen\nin love\". \"But we know nothing about each other, I don't\neven know your likes or dislikes\". \"We will learn them over\ntime\", Carol said before they kissed once again.\nIt was later at dinner that Dennis\nremarked, \"Ed, you don't know this but Carol is a teacher at our\nlocal school. By the way Ed claims he is a teacher as well\".\n\"You are?!\", Carol wonders. \"That explains so much, my\nfield is only electronics\". \"He sure is right, no one cares\nabout that stuff here\", Susan said. \"What my sister means\nis we only take students between the ages of 4 to 12\". \"I\ncan see what she means\", Ed adds. \"That's why I been\ntelling him he better stay a farm hand\", Dennis said.\n\nIt was after dinner that Carol and Ed\nonce again found themselves on the porch watching the setting sun. \"I\nwish I could say I wish Dennis didn't pound in the point that your\njust a farm hand these days. A teacher of electronics now there is\nsomething\". Ed just sighed, \"It isn't that what shook me,\nfrankly Carol I am making more of an impact as a farm hand than I\ndid as a teacher\". Carol couldn't believe that, \"You\ncouldn't of been that bad...were you?!\". Ed just sighed, \"I\nwas on academic probation when all of this happened. I don't know\nwhat it is with me, my teachers said I was a brilliant student and\nwith electronics I am a wizard. But when it came to passing that\nknowledge along to my students. I swear they got more out of one of\nthose sci fi comic books than they did from any of my lectures\".\n\"You are\njust being hard on yourself\". \"No\nI am not, I should of told you one of my own students laid that line\non me. After failing a test\". \"Maybe it was just one\nstudent that didn't quite get it\". Ed just looked in to her deep\nblue eyes, \"They all failed\", \"Ouch!!!\" \"Face\nI haven't the gift of teaching\".\n\nThat was when Carol just smiled at him,\nand he wondered, \"What are you smiling at me like that\". \"You\nforgot something important, what you been teaching those wolf kids\".\n\"But that just was...\", \"Teaching\".\n\nIt was early the next morning just as\nthe sun broke the horizon, Ed found himself on the field looking at\nwhat would be his future. When suddenly he spotted this male bear\nheading his way. For a moment he thought it was Dennis, before he\nnoticed this one was wearing a dark suit and carrying something. But\nas he watched some more this figure wasn't heading towards the house\nit was heading in his direction.\n\nSo he waited finally that bear\nintroduced himself as \"Pastor Robert, glad to finally meet you\nEd\". \"Pastor the only one who needs you is Dennis, he said\nhe can't wait to winter to get married\". \"We will see him\nlater after we talk\". Suddenly Ed wondered what was this about,\n\"Why talk to me I am in no need of you\". \"That was\nwhat you thought when you were still a human being, when you thought\nyou were failing at life, and failing to be a good brother. I know\nmore about you then you think I know Dr. Ed Delmar. God, and yes God\nbrought you to this place. Your meeting new people, and experiencing\nnew things, hey maybe I could get you to join my church we have\nservices at 10 AM every\nSunday at the local school. At least it\nwill get you to meet more new people and maybe I could get you to\njoin my Men's Real Talk group, they meet every other Friday at 6 PM.\nWe talk about everything, while we share something to eat. Oh sure\nyou could dwell on the past, wallowing in your own\nself pity. But look at yourself can you\nin all honesty tell me you feel as you did when your arrived here\".\n\"No, in fact I do feel better\", Ed finally admitted. \"Who\nknows what twists and turns life takes you, maybe someday you'll meet\na woman and will be asking me to marry you two, maybe even you have\nsomeone in mind already\". Ed just smiled as he thought about\nCarol.\n\nBut the Pastor had one last thing under\nhis jacket and that was a children s book for early readers. \"If\nyou still think you still have doubts your still not a teacher. Take\nthis book, there is a wolf child back in the fields by the cabbages\nwho feels like his life is a waste. That life is nothing more than\nsurvival, after a lecture by his father. Why not take this book and\nshow that young boy the written word\". Ed didn't quite know what\nto do, should he or shouldn't he.\n\nBut then after thinking about, \"No\nchild should ever feel life isn't worth living\", Ed said. \"That\nsame could be said about adults...now isn't that true\". Ed then\ntook the book, as Pastor Robert smiled as he patted him on the back.\nEd had no idea what his future made\nhold, but the one thing he was certain about was the problems he had\nwhen his brother died were over. He had faced them in combat and\nwon...a new life. To where this was going to take him. He hadn't a\nclue, but he knew it was going to be fun getting there."}