{"sf1_id":597690,"sf2_id":"214gjq5n","title":"Black Swan (Re uploaded)","author":"librios","words":635,"posted_at":"2013-10-02T07:18:00.000Z","tags":["Black","Other","Poetry","Swan","life"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/597690-black-swan-re-uploaded","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/214gjq5n","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/b9/b5/b9b59d1b-2a8f-4926-a5db-1ae5f19a520c","description":"#1 of Poetry\n\nA lot has happened during my past life. And I'm glad i'm still alive today.","content":"It happened when I was three\n\nGoing to the doctor's office to get some tests\n\nI thought nothing of it at the time\n\nThey looked like ordinary tests at first\n\nAnd after what seemed like an eternity\n\nThey got the information they needed\n\nAfter an hour of waiting\n\nThey come back with the results\n\nThey tell my parents that im autistic\n\nIn otherwards, it was just a fancy way of them\n\nTelling me that i was broken\n\nI really wish that i never learned what that meant\n\nBecause that would follow me\n\nAnd transform my life into complete chaos\n\nIt was the first day of starting school\n\nI was put into a special education class\n\nsince i had difficulty learning things\n\nThings were alright\n\nAnd i was happy where i was at\n\nTwo weeks later the school needed to do some IQ tests on me\n\nI did the tests and a few minutes later\n\nThey tell me that i scored high enough to be placed in a regular class\n\nThe news spread quickly like a wildfire\n\nAnd soon every student knew about it\n\nWhile the teachers welcomed me with open arms\n\nThe students did not\n\nI became an immediate target\n\nand all the students had their sights on me\n\nThey loaded up their insults\n\nLike guns getting prepared to fire at will\n\nAnd they fired away at me\n\nThis would go on until I reached High School\n\nMany things happened during that time\n\nMy grades started to decline\n\nAnd the insults got worse\n\nMany students saw what was happening to me\n\nBut none bothered to come in and help me\n\nInstead they would laugh along with the others\n\nSo they could belong with everyone else\n\nIf you tried to stand up for a person that was a target\n\nYou would instantly become an outsider, an outcast\n\nI couldn't stand it\n\nEveryday was a battle\n\nSome mornings I would wake up and lie to myself\n\nThat everything would be alright\n\nBut there were days that when I woke up\n\nThat every breath that I took\n\nBecame painful and became harder to breathe\n\nLike if somebody had their hands around my neck\n\nand was choking the very life out of me\n\nIt was worse when I was in school\n\nEvery insult, every humiliating remark\n\nStupid, Dumbass, Freak\n\nThe list would go on and on\n\nIt went nonstop\n\nLike knifes stabbing away at a lifeless body\n\nI became so scared\n\nof showing my emotions to everyone\n\nIt started to turn me into a nervous wreck\n\nLike rabid dogs attacking a person\n\nThey chewed away at my sanity\n\nTearing it piece by piece\n\nBarely holding on by a thread\n\nMy soul bloody and wounded\n\nScreaming out in agonizing pain\n\nI started to get suicidal thoughts\n\nThat would occur every minute\n\nEvery second\n\nConstantly slamming me with disturbing ideas\n\nEither it be from trying to obtain a gun\n\nAnd pointing it at my head and firing away\n\nOr jumping in front of traffic\n\nAnd let oncoming vehicles run me over from top to bottom\n\nThere were days I wished I could go to the hospital\n\nAsking doctors to amputate my heart\n\nGive me a pill\n\nAnd replace it with a battery\n\nSo I would no longer feel emotion\n\nThere were also days that I wished i could take out my soul\n\nAnd replace it with with a copy of a perfect image of themselves\n\nI thought this would go on for an eternity\n\nBut after 4 years of high school\n\nAfter all that abuse and cruelty\n\nIt finally came to an end\n\nAnd as I look back\n\nI see the road that was taken\n\nSo rough and bumpy\n\nIt's a surprise that im still alive\n\nI see the sun rise up once more\n\nAnd walk towards the light moving forward.\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/597643-within-dreams.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/598115-dragonheart-spirits-re-uploaded.json"}}