{"sf1_id":640464,"sf2_id":null,"title":"Hairy Potter's trip to Diagon Alley","author":"sgtklark","words":8532,"posted_at":"2013-12-30T23:16:00.000Z","tags":["M/F","Magic","Mouse","witch","wizard"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/640464-hairy-potter-s-trip-to-diagon-alley","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/640464","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=640464\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"My second installment in the Hairy Potter odyssey.\nI tired something different this time. I scanned this chapter from the real Potter book, and then re-edited it to fit my story. So, there are large parts that aren't porny, and parts that are porny. Tell me if this works, otherwise I'll just go back to how I did my first story, from the top of my head.\nMaybe I'll add an image to this later on, but I haven't felt like drawing anything in about a month.","content":"Hairy's trip to Diagon Alley The giant, who Hairy realized was\na mouse from the glimpses of his ears sticking from the ragged mop of his\nuncombed hair. That, and the dirty ratty\ntail. A mouse, like Hairy, but the largest mouse Hairy had ever seen.Outside the Dudley home the giant\nbided Hairy to sit in the side car of an ancient military motorcycle. \"Here's our ride, Hairy,\" the giant muttered,\nstruggling to kick-start the old machine.\"It's ta late ta be shoppin', so\nwe'll just kick back a' me pad, what?\nOh, here I am forgettin' me manners again--me name's Haggard. Please ta meetcha, Hairy.\"* *\n*Harrard's 'pad' looked much like\nthe giant himself. Garbage strewn,\nsmelly, and cold. It was an upstair's\nflat over what Hairy guessed must have been a whorehouse.\"I'm a what?\" gasped Hairy.\"A wizard, o' course,\" said\nHaggard, sitting down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, \"an' a\nthumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an'\ndad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read\nyer letter.\"Hairy stretched out his hand at\nlast to take the yellowish enve­lope, addressed in emerald green to Mr. H.\nPotter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, llie Sea. He pulled out the letter and\nread: HOGFARTS\nSCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRYHeadmaster:\nAlbus Dumplesnore(Order\nof Merlin, First Class, Grand Sore., Chf Warlock,Supreme\nMugwump, International Confed. of Wizards) Dear\nMr. Potter,We\nare pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogfarts School of\nWitchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and\nequipment.Term\nbegins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.Yours sincerely,Minerva McGonzonga,Deputy Headmistress Questions exploded inside Hairy's\nhead like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few\nminutes he stam­mered, \"What does it mean, they await my owl?\"\"Gallopin' gonads, that reminds\nme,\" said Haggard, reaching inside a pocket inside his frayed and soiled overcoat\nhe pulled an owl -- a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl -- a long quill, and\na roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that\nHairy could read upside down: Dear\nPofessor Dumplesnore,Given\nHairy his letter.Taking\nhim to buy his things tomorrow.Weather\nhorrible. Hope you're well.Haggard Haggard rolled up the note, gave\nit to the owl which promptly squired some white liquid on the giant's\nsleeve. The bird then clamped the\nmissive in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm.Haggard wiped his sleeve on the\ncouch.\"Hey, Hairy--y'know what that white\nstuff in owl shit is?\"Hairy realized his mouth was open\nand closed it quickly. \"no sir.\"\"It's owl shit too!\" The giant erupted into gales of\nlaughter which ended with a violent coughing spell.\"Jist some wizard humor there,\nboy,\" he said when he had caught his breath.Hairy paused a moment to compose\nhimself, then asked, \"Does my aunt Petunia know I am . . . a wizard?\"\"Sure she do. But her being a Muggle and all. . .\"\"A Muggle?\" \"A Muggle,\" said Haggard, \"it's what we call\nnonmagic folk like she and your uncle. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a\nfamily o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on, even though that aunt\nPetunia looked like a prime MILF--that's wizard-speak for a Muggle I'd Like t'\nFuck, if y' pardon my French.\"\"My parent were wizards too? Why'd they die in a car crash? Couldn't they just have done some sort of\nwizardy thing to make it not happen?\"\"CAR CRASH!\" roared Haggard,\njumping up so angrily that couch flipped over backwards. \"How could a car crash\nkill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Yeh not knowin' yer own\nstory when every kid in our world knows yer name!\" \"But why? What happened?\" Hairy asked\nurgently.The anger faded from Haggard's\nface. He looked suddenly anxious.\"I never expected this,\" he said,\nin a low, worried voice. \"I had no idea, when Dumplesnore told me there might\nbe trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Hairy, I don'\nknow if I'm the right person ter tell yeh -- but someone's gotta -- yeh can't go\noff ter Hogfarts not knowin'.\"He sat down, ran his sausage-like\nfingers through his greasy hair, and then said, \"It begins, I suppose, with --\nwith a person called -- but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in\nour world knows --\"\"Who?\"\"Well -- I don' like sayin' the\nname if I can help it. No one does.\"\"Why not?\"\"Gulpin' gargoyles, Hairy, people\nare still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who\nwent. . . bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was .\n. Haggard gulped, but no words came out.\"Could you write it down?\" Hairy\nsuggested.\"Nah -- can't spell it. All right --\nWaldomart.\" Haggard shud­dered. \"Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this -- this\nwizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Reckon Dumplesnore's\nthe only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not\njus' then, anyway.\"Now, yer mum an' dad were as good\na witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogfarts in their day!\nSuppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side\nbefore . . . probably knew they were too close ter Dumplesnore ter want\nanythin' ter do with the Dark Side.\"Maybe he thought he could\npersuade 'em . . . maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is,\nhe turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween eighteen\nyears ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' -- an' --- \"Haggard suddenly pulled out a very\ndirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn. He tucked the snot rag back up his sleeve,\nleaving a wad of snot on his mustache\"Sorry,\" he said. \"But it's that\nsad -- knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find -- anyway . . .\"You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then\n-- an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing -- he tried to kill you, too. Wanted\nter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then.\nBut he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer. . .er. . .\nmanhood? That lightnin' bolt scar? That\nwas no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches\nyeh -- took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even -- but it didn't work on\nyou, an' that's why yer famous, Hairy. No one ever lived after he decided ter\nkill 'em, no one except you.\"\"An a side effect o' that curse is\nyou got this,\" Haggard reached over and patted Hairy's sizable package. \"Y'see, the curse was meant t' make yer head\nexplode, I suspects. Instead it sorta\nexploded yer willy. And yer balls too,\nfrom what I heard.\"Haggard was watching him sadly.\"But what happened to Vol-, sorry\n-- I mean, You-Know- Who?\"\"Good question, Hairy.\nDisappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more\nfamous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see ... he was gettin' more an' more\npowerful -- why'd he go? Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if\nhe had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin'\nhis time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter\nours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if\nhe was cornin' back.\"Most of us reckon he's still out\nthere somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin'\nabout you finished him, Hairy. There was somethin' goin' on that night he\nhadn't counted on -- I dunno what it was, no one does -- but somethin' about you\nstumped him, all right.\"\"Y'see, whats-his-names ascared of\nyeh, Hairy. He knows yer power is a\nmatch fer his, and that yeh'll only get more powerful as time goes by.\"\"But I don't feel all that\npowerful, Haggard,\" Hairy sputtered.\"What yeh got is this wondrous\nability t' sap power from them what's around yeh, Hairy. You can draw magical powers from t' other\nwitches and wizards. I'm not sure how\nyeh does it, and I suspect yeh don't know either--- yet.\"Haggard looked at Hairy with\nwarmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Hairy, instead of feeling pleased\nand proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him?\nHow could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bul­lied\nand rogered by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why\nhadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in\nhis cupboard? If he'd once defeated the great­est sorcerer in the world, how\ncome Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?\"Haggard,\" he said quietly, \"I\nthink you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard.\"To his surprise, Haggard chuckled.\"Not a wizard, eh? Never made\nthings happen when you was scared or angry?\"Hairy looked into the fire. Now he\ncame to think about it. . . that strange power he had over aunt Petunia! She seemed enraptured every time Hairy sunk\nhis cock into her hungry cunt. And he\nalways felt oddly powerful every time he took her, even though he knew it was\nwrong to cuckold his uncle.Hairy looked back at Haggard,\nsmiling, and saw that Haggard was positively beaming at him.\"See?\" said Haggard. \"Hairy\nPotter, not a wizard -- you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogfarts.\"Haggard hung his head\nsheepishly. \"So. . . kin ah see it?\"Puzzled, Hairy said, \"See what?\"\"Yeh know, yer famouse tackle what\nyer got in yer trousers.\"Hairy gasped in surprise. \"I'm not bent or a flit or\nanything, y'understand. I'd just like t'\nsee it. Been curious about it fer\nyears,\" Haggard offered meekly.Hairy thought it was damned odd\nthat a full grown man would want to see his pecker--well, outside of his football\ncoach who always seemed to be around when Hairy had to shower at school. But the giant had been kind to him so far,\nand maybe things were just different with wizards and all.Hairy stood up, pulled the zipper\nof his corduroys down over the bulge at his crotch and, with some effort,\nfished out his cock from his boxers.\nHaggard gasped in sucked in his breath.\"My, ain't that a beauty! Got that famous scar an' all.\"\"I always just thought that was a\nbig zig-zag vein on top,\" Hairy offered, oddly proud of the respect his cock\nwas eliciting from the giant.\"Naw, that's the scar from\nwhat's-his-name's curse, young Hairy. That's about the fattest one I've ever\nseen, sort of a centaur's crank. How\nbig. . . how big does it get when ye's excited, boy?\"\"About this big,\" said, Hairy,\nlocking one fist on his dangling organ and working it back and forth. Hairy couldn't get his fingers around his\njunk even when it was limp, but now, as it rapidly expanded he did his best\njust to support it.\"Blimy! Look at that thang grow!\" Haggard said\nexcitedly. Hairy put a hand on either side of\nhis erection and pumped it furiously. \"Want\nto feel it, Haggard?\" Hairy said between gritted teeth.Mesmerized, the giant slowly\nreached out with one mighty paw and gently stroked the flair glans.\"Aw fuck!\" Hairy groaned and\nemptied the contents of his hard, swollen balls onto the hand and sleeve of his\nnew friend. Spurt after spurt of hot\njizz shot from his throbbing organ, landing on the giant's coat, couch, and\nbeard.Haggard recoiled, a look of fright\non his broad face. He tried to back away\nfrom the spasming organ, but the jets of jizz seemed to follow him as he slid\naway on the couch.Hairy felt his knees began to\nbuckle and he sat back down in his easy chair.\nAs his eyes began to refocus he saw Haggard wildly dabbing at the white\nclots of spooge on his coat and beard with his soiled handkerchief. \"Ah wish y'd given me some warning\nthere, Master Hairy. Don't much care for\nthe thought of some blokes seed all over me duds. It's a bit humiliatin'.\"Hairy felt an odd and sudden surge\nof power flowing into him. It was an\nexhilarating feeling that made his head swim.\nIt was almost as if the act of humiliating the giant had empowered him,\nsomehow. As Hairy looked at the fumbling\ngiant a sinister grin snaked across his face.\nHe had enjoyed debasing Haggard.\nIt wasn't as though he had anything against the huge mouse. It wasn't personal, but a feeling of\ndomination that enraptured the young wizard.\nAs Hairy smiled his sinister smile,\nmilking the last droplets from his slowly withering cock, he realized that he\nhad discovered the trick of his magic.\nBy humiliating others, like his aunt Petunia and now his new friend,\nHaggard, Hairy had drawn power from them.And he liked the feeling.  Hairy woke early the next morning.\nHe had his usual morning wood, and must have been dreaming about his aunt and\nwished he could remember the dream. If\nit was good enough it might be work a morning wank. Tap. Tap. Tap.\"All right,\" Hairy mumbled, \"I'm\ngetting up.\"He sat up and Haggard's heavy,\nspooge-encrusted coat fell off him. The hut was full of sunlight, the storm was\nover, Haggard himself was asleep on the collapsed sofa, and there was an owl\nrapping its claw on the win­dow, a newspaper held in its beak.Hairy scrambled to his feet, trying\nvainly to conceal the pulsing erection that was tinting his shorts. He felt as though a large balloon was\nswelling inside him and realized the increase in magic he had felt when\ndefiling Haggard where not temporary. He went straight to the window and\njerked it open. The owl swooped in and dropped the newspa­per on top of\nHaggard, who didn't wake up but merely wiggled a little and let out a stream of\nflatulence. The owl then fluttered onto the floor and began to attack the cum\nstains on Haggard's coat.\"Don't do that.\"Hairy tried to wave the owl out of\nthe way, but it snapped its beak fiercely at him and carried on savaging the\ncoat.\"Haggard!\" said Hairy loudly.\n\"There's an owl --\"\"Pay him,\" Haggard grunted into\nthe sofa.\"What?\"\"He wants payin' fer deliverin'\nthe paper. Look in the pockets.\" \"Give him five Knuts,\" said Haggard sleepily.\"Knuts?\"\"The little bronze ones.\"Hairy counted out five little\nbronze coins, and the owl held out his leg so Hairy could put the money into a\nsmall leather pouch tied to it. Then he flew off through the open window.Haggard yawned loudly, sat up, and\nstretched.\"Best be off, Hairy, lots ter do\ntoday, gotta get up ter London an' buy all yer stuff fer school.\"Haggard froze when he was Hairy's\njutting hard on distorting the teen's shorts.\nHe guiltily averted his eyes.Hairy saw Haggard's discomfort and\nmoved until he was standing in front of the giant, his hands on his hips, his\npelvis shoved forward. \"Don't you just hate it when you\nwake up with a huge, throbbing boner, Haggard?\nI must have one every morning!\"Haggard kept his gaze on the dirty\nfloorboards. \"I gotta take a whiz,\" he\nmumbled.Hairy was delighting in Haggard's\ndiscomfort. He followed the giant to the\nwash closet and saw that it's door was missing.\nHairy leaned against the wall, nonchalantly, and watched the giant empty\nhis bladder into the stained loo. \"For such a big guy you got a tiny\ndick, Haggard!\" Hairy said gleefully.\nHaggard hung his head in shame.\n\"Well, we can't all be cursed like yeh, Hairy.\"\"I understand, but yours in no\nbigger than my thumb!\" Again, Hairy felt\nthe odd sensation of power building in his body, and felt that Haggard's own\npower seemed to be diminishing. It\nwasn't something you could see so much as feel.\nIt was as if the giant's aura was shrinking slightly. * *\n* \"Um -- Haggard?\"\"Mm?\" said Haggard, who was\npulling on his huge boots.\"I haven't got any money -- and you\nheard Uncle Vernon last night... he won't pay for me to go and learn magic.\"\"Don't worry about that,\" said\nHaggard, standing up and scratch­ing his head. \"D'yeh think yer parents didn't\nleave yeh anything?\"\"But if their house was destroyed\n--\"\"They didn' keep their gold in the\nhouse, boy! Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank. Have a sausage,\nthey're not bad cold -- an' I wouldn' say no teh a bit o' yer birthday cake,\nneither.\"\"Wizards have banks?'\"Just the one. Gringotts. Run by\ngoblins.\"Hairy dropped the bit of sausage\nhe was holding.\"Goblins?\"\"Yeah -- so yeh'd be mad ter try\nan' rob it, I'll tell yeh that. Never mess with goblins, Hairy. Gringotts is\nthe safest place in the world fer anything yeh want ter keep safe --'cept maybe Hogfarts.\nAs a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumplesnore. Hogfarts\nbusiness.\" Haggard drew himself up proudly. \"He usually gets me ter do\nimportant stuff fer him. Fetchin' you -- gettin' things from Gringotts -- knows\nhe can trust me, see. Passersby stared a lot at Haggard and\nHairy as they walked through the little town to the station. Hairy couldn't\nblame them. Not only was Haggard twice as tall as anyone else, and Hairy's\nprominent package swaying as he walkedThey had reached the station.\nThere was a train to London in five minutes' time. Haggard, who didn't\nunderstand \"Muggle money,\" as he called it, gave the bills to Hairy so he could\nbuy their tickets. Hairy slipped the\nchange from the purchase into his pocket on the sly, and there was that surge\nof power again.People stared more than ever on\nthe train. Haggard took up two seats and sat knitting what looked like a\ncanary-yellow circus tent. Hairy sat with his legs spread, giving all and\nsundry a good look at the bulge in his trousers. The disapproving looks from the gents and the\nhungry looks from the girls both made him feel proud.\"Still got yer letter, Hairy?\" he\nasked as he counted stitches.Hairy took the\nparchment envelope out of his pocket.\"Good,\" said Haggard. \"There's a\nlist there of everything yeh need.\"Hairy unfolded a second piece of\npaper he hadn't noticed the night before, and read: HOGFARTS\nSCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRYUNIFORMFirst-year\nstudents will require:1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or\nsimilar)4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)Please note that\nall pupils' clothes should carry name tags. Female students are reminded that\nthey must wear undergarments at all time.\nMale students should wear suitably supportive undergarments, as\nrequired. COURSE BOOKSAll students\nshould have a copy of each of the following: The Standard Book of Spells (Grade\n1) by Miranda Goshawk A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot Magical Theory by\nAdalbert Waffling A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch One\nThousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore Magical Draughts and Potions\nby Arsenius JiggerFantastic Beasts and Where to\nFind Them by Newt Scamander The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin\nTrimble OTHER EQUIPMENT1 wand1 cauldron (pewter, standard size\n2)1 set glass or crystal phials 1\ntelescope 1 set brass scales Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad\nOR a snail PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST\nYEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS \"Can we buy all this crap in\nLondon?\" Hairy wondered aloud.\"If yeh know where to go,\" said\nHaggard with a sly smile.Haggard was so huge that he parted\nthe crowd easily; all Hairy had to do was keep close behind him. It wasn't so\nmuch as Haggard's size as his offensive odor that cleared the way for the two. They\npassed book shops and music stores, hamburger restaurants and cinemas, but\nnowhere that looked as if it could sell you a magic wand. This was just an\nordinary street full of ordinary people. Could there really be piles of wizard\ngold buried miles beneath them? Were there really shops that sold spell books\nand broomsticks? Might this not all be some huge joke that the Dursleys had\ncooked up? If Hairy hadn't known that the Dursleys had no sense of humor, he\nmight have thought so; yet somehow, even though everything Haggard had told him\nso far was unbelievable, Hairy couldn't help trusting him.\"This is it,\" said Haggard, coming\nto a halt, \"the Leaky Condom. It's a famous place.\"It was a tiny, grubby-looking pub.\nIf Haggard hadn't pointed it out, Hairy wouldn't have noticed it was there. The\npeople hurrying by didn't glance at it. Their eyes slid from the big book shop\non one side to the record shop on the other as if they couldn't see the Leaky Condom\nat all. In fact, Hairy had the most peculiar feeling that only he and Haggard\ncould see it. Before he could mention this, Haggard had steered him inside.Everyone in the tavern seemed to\nknow Haggard; they waved and smiled at him, and the bartender reached for a\nglass, saying, \"The usual, Haggard?\"\"Can't, Tom, I'm on Hogfarts\nbusiness,\" said Haggard, clap­ping his great hand on Hairy's shoulder and\nmaking Hairy's knees buckle.\"Good Lord,\" said the bartender,\npeering at Hairy, \"is this -- can this be -- ?\"The Leaky Condom had suddenly gone\ncompletely still and silent.\"Bless my soul,\" whispered the old\nbartender, \"Hairy Potter . . . what an honor.\"He hurried out from behind the\nbar, rushed toward Hairy and seized his hand, tears in his eyes.\"Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome\nback.\"Hairy didn't know what to say.\nEveryone was looking at him. An old woman with the pipe was puffing on it\nwithout realizing it had gone out. Haggard was beaming.Then there was a great scraping of\nchairs and the next moment, Hairy found himself shaking hands with everyone in\nthe Leaky Condom.\"Doris Cockford, Mr. Potter, can't\nbelieve I'm meeting you at last.\"\"So proud, Mr. Potter, I'm just so\nproud.\"\"Always wanted to shake your hand\n--- I'm all of a flutter.\" \"Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's\nthe name, Dedalus Diggle.\"Hairy shook hands again and again\n-- Doris Crockford kept coming back for more.Hairy was aware that each new\nperson he met in the tavern would greet his gaze, then, almost automatically, their\ngaze would drift below his belt, as if seeking proof that he was, in fact, the\nreal Hairy Potter. After seeing his\ncrotch they would nod approvingly. A pale young man made his way\nforward, very nervously. One of his eyes was twitching.\"Professor Quirrell!\" said\nHaggard. \"Hairy, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogfarts.\"\"P-P-Potter,\" stammered Professor\nQuirrell, grasping Hairy's hand, \"c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet\nyou.\"\"What sort of magic do you teach,\nProfessor Quirrell?\"\"D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark\nArts,\" muttered Professor Quirrell, as though he'd rather not think about it.\n\"N-not that you n-need it, eh, P-P-Potter?\" He laughed nervously. \"You'll be\ng-getting all your equipment, I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book\non vampires, m-myself.\" He looked terrified at the very thought.\"You've got quite a s-s-stutter,\nProfessor,\" Hairy laughed. Quirrell seem\nto visibly shrink from the mockery, much to Hairy's satisfaction. The entire tavern took up Hairy's laugh.Hairy noticed that everyone seemed\nto want to be his friend, but that there was a strange fear motivating them, as\nif they could not be his friend then they would be his target.Haggard came to Quirrell's rescue,\n\"Must get on -- lots ter buy. Come on, Hairy.\"Doris Cockford shook Hairy's hand\none last time, and Haggard led them through the bar and out into a small,\nwalled courtyard, where there was nothing but a trash can and a few weeds.Haggard grinned at Hairy.\"Told yeh, didn't I? Told yeh you\nwas famous. Even Professor Quirrell was tremblin' ter meet yeh -- mind you, he's\nusually tremblin'. But didja haf' to\nembarrass the Professor like that? Ah\nmean, he's a sensitive sort.\"\"Fuck 'em,\" Hairy said, feeling\nfresh power coursing through his body.Haggard shook his head sadly and\nbegan counting bricks in the wall above the trash can.\"Three up . . . two across . . .\"\nhe muttered. \"Right, stand back, Hairy.\"He tapped the wall three times\nwith one knuckle.The brick he had touched quivered\n-- it wriggled -- in the mid­dle, a small hole appeared -- it grew wider and wider\n-- a second later they were facing an archway large enough even for Haggard, an\narchway onto a cobbled street that twisted and turned out of sight.\"Welcome,\" said Haggard, \"to Diagon\nAlley.\"He grinned at Hairy's amazement.\nThey stepped through the archway. Hairy looked quickly over his shoulder and\nsaw the arch­way shrink instantly back into solid wall.The sun shone brightly on a stack\nof cauldrons outside the near­est shop. Cauldrons -- All Sizes -- Copper, Brass,\nPewter, Sil­ver -- Self-Stirring -- Collapsible, said a sign hanging over them.\"Yeah, you'll be needin' one,\"\nsaid Haggard, \"but we gotta get yer money first.\"Hairy wished he had about eight\nmore eyes. He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street,\ntrying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the\npeople doing their shopping. There was an Apothecary, clothiers, eateries, and\nevery manner of magic shop. There was a\nshop that apparently only sold brooms.\nAnd a store for owls. There was\neven a shop that sold magical sex aids and potions. \"Gringotts,\" announced Haggard.They had reached a snowy white\nbuilding that towered over the other little shops. Standing beside its burnished\nbronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was --\"Yeah, that's a goblin,\" said\nHaggard quietly as they walked up the white stone steps toward him. The goblin\nwas about a head shorter than Hairy. He had a swarthy, clever face, a pointed\nbeard and, Hairy noticed, very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they walked\ninside. A pair of goblins bowed them\nthrough the silver doors and they were in a vast marble hall. About a hundred\nmore goblins were sitting on high stools behind a long counter, scribbling in\nlarge ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales, examining precious stones\nthrough eyeglasses. There were too many doors to count leading off the hall,\nand yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these. Haggard and Hairy\nmade for the counter.\"Blimy, these goblin's are\nhorrid-looking fucks. They must have to\nsneak up on a pussy to get any,\" Hairy chuckled.Suddenly, every eye in the bank\nwas on Hairy. Instead of blushing, Hairy\njust gave them all a toothy smile and a slight wave of his hand.\"Hairy,\" Haggard hissed, \"don't\npiss off these goblins!\"\"Fuck 'em.\"The two approached a tellers\nwindow.\"Morning,\" said Haggard to goblin\nbehind the cage. \"We've come ter take some money outta Mr. Hairy Potter's\nsafe.\"\"You have his key, sir?\"\"Got it here somewhere,\" said\nHaggard, and he started emptying his pockets onto the counter, scattering a\nhandful of moldy dog biscuits, lint, and bits of string over the goblin's book\nof numbers. The goblin wrinkled his nose. Hairy watched the goblin on their\nright weighing a pile of ru­bies as big as glowing coals.\"Got it,\" said Haggard at last,\nholding up a tiny golden key.The goblin looked at it closely.\"That seems to be in order.\"\"An' I've also got a letter here\nfrom Professor Dumplesnore,\" said Haggard importantly, throwing out his chest.\n\"It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen.\"The goblin read the letter\ncarefully.\"Very well,\" he said, handing it\nback to Haggard, \"I will have someone take you down to both vaults. Griphook!\"Griphook was yet another goblin.\nOnce Haggard had crammed all the dog biscuits back inside his pockets, he and Hairy\nfollowed Griphook toward one of the doors leading off the hall.\"What's the You-Know-What in vault\nseven hundred and thir­teen?\" Hairy asked.\"Can't tell yeh that,\" said\nHaggard mysteriously. \"Very secret. Hogfarts business. Dumplesnore's trusted\nme. More'n my job's worth ter tell yeh that.\"Griphook led Hairy and Haggard\nthrough a darkened maze of tunnels until they came to a huge door in a cavern. Griphook\nunlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billow­ing out, and as it cleared,\nHairy gasped. Inside were mounds of gold coins. Columns of silver. Heaps of\nlittle bronze Knuts. Pearls, diamonds, a crate of illegal firearms and what\nappeared to be cellophane-wrapped packages of cocaine.\"All yours,\" smiled Haggard.Haggard helped Hairy pile some of\nit into a bag. They were going even deeper now into\nthe bowels of the bank.Vault seven hundred and thirteen\nhad no keyhole.\"Stand back,\" said Griphook\nimportantly. He stroked the door gently with one of his long fingers and it\nsimply melted away.\"If anyone but a Gringotts goblin\ntried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there,\" said\nGriphook.\"How often do you check to see if\nanyone's inside?\" Hairy asked.\"About once every ten years,\" said\nGriphook with a rather nasty grin.Something really extraordinary had\nto be inside this top security vault, Hairy was sure, and he leaned forward\neagerly, expecting to see fabulous jewels at the very least -- but at first he\nthought it was empty. Then he noticed a grubby little package wrapped up in\nbrown paper lying on the floor. Haggard picked it up and tucked it deep inside\nhis coat. Hairy longed to know what it was, but knew better than to ask.\"Come on, back in this infernal\ncart, and don't talk to me on the way back, it's best if I keep me mouth shut,\"\nsaid Haggard.After they left Gringotts, Hairy\ndidn't know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money. He didn't\nhave to know how many Galleons there were to a pound to know that he was\nholding more money than he'd had in his whole life -- more money than even\nDudley had ever had.\"Tell me, Haggard, do they have a\nwitches whorehouse on this street? I'd\nsure like to get some strange now that I got the cash.\"\"Nonsense, Hairy. Wit' yer reputation yeh'll be getting so much\nfresh fanny at Hogfarts yeh won't know what t' do wit' it all. Steer clear of the poxied whore here!\"\nHaggard offered with a wink.\"Might as well get yer uniform,\"\nsaid Haggard, nodding toward Madam Merkin's Robes for All Occasions. \"Listen, Hairy,\nwould yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Condom?\"\"Suit yourself, Haggard, but I\nsuspect that one of your main responsibilities on this trip is to see to me, so\ndon't wander far. I'd hate to have to\ntell Dumplesnore that I got lost because you needed a snootful.\"\"Ah' promise, Master Potter. I won't let you down,\" Haggard said\npleadingly.\"See that you don't,\" Hairy warned\nsternly.Hairy entered Madam Merkin's shop\nalone, feeling nervous.Madam Merkin was an attractive,\nthirty-ish, smiling bunny witch dressed all in mauve.\"Hogfarts, dear?\" she said, when Hairy\nstarted to speak. \"Got the lot here -- another young man being fitted up just\nnow, in fact.\"In the back of the shop, a boy\nwith a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch\npinned up his long black robes. Madam Merkin stood Hairy on a stool next to\nhim, slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right\nlength.\"Hello,\" said the boy, \"Hogfarts,\ntoo?\"\"Yes,\" said Hairy.\"My father's next door buying my\nbooks and Mother's up the street looking at wands,\" said the boy.\"That must make your father\njealous!\" Hairy laughed.The other boy just looked confused. He had a bored, drawling voice. \"Then I'm\ngoing to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don't see why first years\ncan't have their own. I think I'll bully Fa­ther into getting me one and I'll\nsmuggle it in somehow.\"Hairy was strongly reminded of Dudley.\"Have you got your own broom?\" the\nboy went on.\"No,\" said Hairy.\"Play Quidditch at all?\"\"No,\" Hairy said again, wondering\nwhat on earth Quidditch could be.\"I do -- Father says it's a crime\nif I'm not picked to play for my House, and I must say, I agree. Know what\nHouse you'll be in yet?\"\"No,\" said Hairy, feeling more\nstupid by the minute and resenting it more by the minute.\"Well, no one really knows until\nthey get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slipitin, all our family have\nbeen -- imagine be­ing in Huff'n'puff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?\"\"Mmm,\" said Hairy, wishing he\ncould say something a bit more interesting.\"I say, look at that man!\" said\nthe boy suddenly, nodding toward the front window. Haggard was standing there,\ngrinning at Hairy and pointing at two large ice creams to show he couldn't come\nin.\"That's Haggard,\" said Hairy,\npleased to know something the boy didn't. \"He works at Hogfarts.\"\"Oh,\" said the boy, \"I've heard of\nhim. He's a sort of servant, isn't he?\"\"He's the gamekeeper,\" said Hairy.\nHe was liking the boy less and less every second.\"Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort\nof savage -- lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets\ndrunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed.\"\"I think he's brilliant,\" said Hairy\ncoldly.\"Do you?\" said the boy, with a slight sneer. \"Why is he with you? Where\nare your parents?\"\"They're dead,\" said Hairy\nshortly. He didn't feel much like go­ing into the matter with this boy.\"Oh, sorry,\" said the other, not\nsounding sorry at all. \"But they were our kind, weren't they?\"\"They were a witch and wizard, if\nthat's what you mean.\"\"I really don't think they should\nlet the other sort in, do you? They're just not the same, they've never been\nbrought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogfarts\nuntil they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old\nwizarding families. What's your surname, anyway?\"But before Hairy could answer, Madam Merkin said, \"That's you done, my dear,\" and Hairy, not sorry\nfor an excuse to stop talk­ing to the boy, hopped down from the footstool.\"Well, I'll see you at Hogfarts, I\nsuppose,\" said the drawling boy.Madam Merkin stood back, and at\nher chin, and sized up Hairy. Her pupils widened when she saw the bulge in the\nlad's slacks. \"I think I will need to measure\nyou. . . for your uniform,\" she purred.\n\"Come along.\"Merkin led Hairy to a more private\nfitting room and kneeled before the young mouse. She unlooped a measuring tape from around her\nneck and asked, \"Do you dress right or left?\"Hairy had a blank look on his\nface.\"Um, how do I put this. . . do you\ndress with your organ down the left leg or the right leg of your trousers?\"\"I never really thought about it,\nma'am.\" Hairy could feel the color\nrising in his cheeks.\"No matter,\" Merkin smiled at\nHairy, then stretched the measuring tape from the cuff on one leg to Hairy's\ncrotch. Her warm hand nestled against\nhis dangling cock made it twitch and stir.\nMerkin kept her hand under the boy's junk while she spoke.\"Let's see, 30 inseam. . .\"The young wizard looked down at\nMerkin's up-turned face. She was really\nquite pretty, perhaps a bit too much makeup for his taste, but lovely eyes and\nfull, sensual lips. His cock had passed\nthe threshold stage and was now fully awake, widening and hardening\nrapidly. He could see his\nalways-prominent bulge growing visibly.\nThe growth was not lost on the seamstress.\"Oh my! Did I cause that?\" she winked up at the\nmouse.\"I'm frightfully sorry, ma'am!\" Hairy\nsputtered. \"Don't be. It's quite all right, seriously. You're the Potter boy, are you not? I've heard all about you and your, er,\ncurse.\" Merkin's eyes were ablaze with animal lust.\"Yes ma'am. I'm Hairy Potter.\"By now Merkin's palm was on the outside\nof Hairy's burgeoning erection, massaging it ever so slightly. He could feel the warmth of her hand on his\njagged sock scar.\"I will have to use all my skill\nto design trousers for this monster,\" she grinned. \"Let's just let this creature breathe a\nlittle, shall we?\"Merkin deftly unzipped the mouse's\npants, tugging the zipper over his ever-tightening crotch. She reached in a fished out his wanger. Freed from its prison his cock now rapidly\nfilled and expanded in the cool air of the tailor shop. Merkin's eyes went from his cock,\nto Hairy's eyes, then back again. She\nchuckled her approval.\"I don't get the occasion to see\nmany like this in my little establishment, Mister Potter. It's a rare treat for me, I confess. Mostly I deal with your other Hogfarts\nclassmates, and they are decidedly lacking your dimensions. May I?\"Hairy wasn't sure what it was\nMerkin was asking, but he was so fired up he would have agreed to any request\nat that point. \"Yes, of course,\" he stammered.Merkin slowly brought her full,\nripe lips to the flared, angry-looking head of the boy's cock. Her tongue snakes out and tickled his cock\nslit. Hairy sucked in his breath and his\neyes rolled up in his head. He didn't\nsee, but felt, as her warm, wet mouth enveloped about a quarter of his length.Hairy's body went ridged, then his\nhips began a slow, methodical movement to match those of the seamstress.Merkin pulled her lips off his\norgan with a loud SLURP. Her hand kept\nup a steady pace jerking his fat willy as she said, \"It's been so long since\nI've had a real man like this!\"\"Take. . .take your time, if it\npleases you, ma'am,\" Hairy whined.Outside the shop, an inpatient\nHaggard felt foolish, standing with two melted ice cream cones in his mitts.After what seemed like an hour to\nHairy (but was more like fifteen minutes) Merkin once again disengaged his cock\nfrom her yaw and asked, in a pleading voice, \"I want you to jizz in my mouth,\nMister Potter!\" But Hairy had other plans. At the moment of his release,\nHairy roughly grabbed the back on Merkin's hair and pulled her face off his\ntwitching organ. At precisely the same\ninstant he began dumping his hot load on the rabbit's upturned face. Hairy spewed as he had never\nspewed before, squirting a mighty deposit of sticky mouse seed on the woman's\nface, shoulders, hair and dress. His\nbatter quickly coated her glasses and ran down from her chin in thick rivulets\nthat drained onto the front of her chest, soaking the material of her fashionable\nworking attire. Hairy milked the\nremainder of his load with a free hand.\"Oh my!\" Merkin said, in a gasping\nbreath, her voice filled with wonderment and surprise. \"You've soiled my dress! I must look a total mess. Now, you just relax here while I tidy myself\nup a bit.\"\"No. You will return to the shop as-is, ma'am.\" Hairy was a surprised at his words as was\nMerkin.But the seamstress seemed\npowerless to resist his demand. She slowly stood up, turned, and went back into\nher shop. As Hairy reaffixed his\ntrousers he could hear one of her co-workers exclaiming, \"What happened to you,\nMadam Merkin?\"Hairy could feel Merkin's power\nflowing into his body, and he smiled at his accomplishment.    Hairy looked at the giant with the\ntwo wads of melted icecream in his paws.\n\"Sorry for the delay,\nHaggard. I must have been hard to fit.\" \"What's up?\" said Haggard.\"Nothing,\" Hairy lied. He could\nfeel his balls ache with the recent strain.They stopped to buy parchment and\nquills. Hairy cheered up a bit when he found a bottle of ink that changed color\nas you wrote. When they had left the shop, he said, \"Haggard, what's\nQuidditch?\"\"Blimey, Hairy, I keep forgettin'\nhow little yeh know -- not knowin' about Quidditch! It's our sport. Wizard\nsport. It's like -- like soccer in the Muggle world -- everyone follows Quidditch\n-- played up in the air on broomsticks and there's four balls -- sorta hard ter\nexplain the rules.\"\"But I've only got two balls,\nHaggard,\" Hairy said with a sly smile.\"No, no. Yeh plat with two. . . aw, yer funnin' me, ain't\ncha?\"\"And what are Slipitin and Huff'n'puff?\"\"School Houses. There's four.\nEveryone says Huff'n'puff are a lot o' duffers, but --\"\"I bet I'm in Huff'n'puff,\" said Hairy\ngloomily.\"Better Huff'n'puff than Slipitin,\"\nsaid Haggard darkly. \"There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who\nwasn't in Slipitin. You-Know-Who was one.\"\"Vol-, sorry -- You-Know-Who was at\nHogfarts?\"\"Years an' years ago,\" said\nHaggard.They bought Hairy's school books\nin a shop called Flourish and Blotts where the shelves were stacked to the\nceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather; books the size\nof postage stamps in covers of silk; books full of peculiar symbols and a few\nbooks with nothing in them at all. There was even some books on witch and\nwizard pornography, which surprised Hairy.\nEven Dudley, who never read anything, would have been wild to get his\nhands on some of these. Haggard almost had to drag Hairy away from Curses and\nCounter­curses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest\nRevenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and Much, Much More) by Professor\nVindictus Viridian.\"I was trying to find out how to\ncurse Dudley.\"\"I'm not sayin' that's not a good\nidea, but yer not ter use magic in the Muggle world except in very special\ncircumstances,\" said Haggard. \"An' anyway, yeh couldn' work any of them curses\nyet, yeh'll need a lot more study before yeh get ter that level.\"Outside of a Apothecary, Haggard\nchecked Hairy's list again.\"Just yer wand left -- oh yeah, an'\nI still haven't got yeh a birth­day present.\"Hairy felt himself go red.\"You don't have to --\"\"I know I don't have to. Tell yeh\nwhat, I'll get yer animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago,\nyeh'd be laughed at -- an' I don' like cats, they make me sneeze. I'll get yer\nan owl. All the kids want owls, they're dead useful, carry yer mail an'\neverythin'.\"Twenty minutes later, they left\nEeylops Owl Emporium, which had been dark and full of rustling and flickering,\njewel-bright eyes. Hairy now carried a large cage that held a beautiful snowy\nowl, fast asleep with her head under her wing. He couldn't stop stammering his\nthanks, sounding just like Professor Quirrell.\"Don' mention it,\" said Haggard\ngruffly. \"Don' expect you've had a lotta presents from them Dursleys. Just\nOllivanders left now -- only place fer wands, Ollivanders, and yeh gotta have\nthe best wand.\"A magic wand . . . this was what Hairy\nhad been really looking forward to.The last shop was narrow and\nshabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine\nWands since 382 B.C. A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty\nwindow.A tinkling bell rang somewhere in\nthe depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny place, empty\nexcept for a single, spindly chair that Haggard sat on to wait. Hairy felt\nstrangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of\nnew questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands\nof narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, the back\nof his neck prickled. The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with\nsome secret magic.\"Good afternoon,\" said a soft\nvoice. Hairy jumped. Haggard must have jumped, too, because there was a loud\ncrunching noise and he got quickly off the spindly chair.An old man was standing before\nthem, his wide, pale eyes shin­ing like moons through the gloom of the shop.\"Hello,\" said Hairy awkwardly.\"Ah yes,\" said the man. \"Yes, yes.\nI thought I'd be seeing you soon. Hairy Potter.\" It wasn't a question. \"You have\nyour mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her\nfirst wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand\nfor charm work.\"Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Hairy.\nHairy wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy.\"Your father, on the other hand,\nfavored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and\nexcellent for trans­figuration. Well, I say your father favored it -- it's\nreally the wand that chooses the wizard, of course.\"\"I'm sorry to say I sold the wand\nthat did that,\" he said softly, pointing a Hairy's distended crotch.\n\"Thirteen-and-a-half incher. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the\nwrong hands . . . well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the\nworld to do. . . .\"He shook his head and then, to Hairy's\nrelief, spotted Haggard.\"Rubeus! Rubeus Haggard! How nice\nto see you again. . . . Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it?\"\"It was, sir, yes,\" said Haggard.\"Good wand, that one. But I\nsuppose they snapped it in half when you got expelled?\" said Mr. Ollivander,\nsuddenly stern.\"Er -- yes, they did, yes,\" said\nHaggard, shuffling his feet. \"I've still got the pieces, though,\" he added\nbrightly.\"But you don't use them?\" said Mr.\nOllivander sharply.\"Oh, no, sir,\" said Haggard\nquickly. Hairy noticed he gripped his pink umbrella very tightly as he spoke.\"Hmmm,\" said Mr. Ollivander,\ngiving Haggard a piercing look. \"Well, now -- Mr. Potter. Let me see.\" He pulled\na long tape mea­sure with silver markings out of his pocket. \"Which is your\nwand arm?\"\"Er -- well, I'm right-handed,\"\nsaid Hairy.\"Hold out your arm. That's it.\" He\nmeasured Hairy from shoul­der to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to\nfloor, knee to armpit and round his head. As he measured, he said, \"Every\nOllivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use\nunicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two\nOllivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes\nare quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with\nanother wizard's wand.\" Hairy suddenly realized that the tape measure, which\nwas mea­suring between his nostrils, was doing this on its own. Mr. Olli­vander\nwas flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes.\"That will do,\" he said, and the\ntape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor. \"Right then, Mr. Potter. Try\nthis one. Beech- wood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible.\nJust take it and give it a wave.\"Hairy took the wand and (feeling\nfoolish) waved it around a bit, but Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of his hand\nalmost at once.\"Maple and phoenix feather. Seven\ninches. Quite whippy. Try--\"Hairy tried -- but he had hardly\nraised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Mr. Ollivander.\"No, no -- here, ebony and unicorn\nhair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, go on, try it out.\"Hairy tried. And tried. He had no\nidea what Mr. Ollivander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting\nhigher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Mr. Ollivander\npulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become.\"Tricky customer, eh? Not to\nworry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere -- I wonder, now -- yes, why\nnot -- a very rare material, thirteen-incher, nice and supple.\"Hairy took the wand. He felt a\nsudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wand above his head, brought it\nswishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot\nfrom the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls.\nHaggard whooped and clapped and Mr. Ollivander cried, \"Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed,\noh, very good. Well, well, well . . . how curious . . . how very curious . . .\"He put Hairy's wand back into its\nbox and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, \"Curious . . . curious . .\n.\"\"Sorry,\" said Hairy, \"but what's\ncurious?\"Mr. Ollivander fixed Hairy with\nhis pale stare.\"I remember every wand I've ever\nsold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that baculum in your wand came from the rare golden\nunicorn.\"Hairy swallowed. \"What sort of wood is baculum, sir?\"Mr. Ollivander chuckled softly,\nhis eyes aglow. \"Wood? Heavens no!\nBaculum is bone, young sir. Specifically\nthe bone found in the reproductive organ of certain species.\"\"You mean. . .\" Hairy gushed.\"Quite! Your wand is the cock bone of a unicorn!\"  The late afternoon sun hung low in\nthe sky as Hairy and Haggard made their way back down Diagon Alley, back\nthrough the wall, back through the Leaky Cauldron, now empty. Hairy didn't\nspeak at all as they walked down the road; he didn't even notice how much\npeople were gawking at them on the Underground, laden as they were with all\ntheir funny-shaped packages, with the snowy owl asleep in its cage on Hairy's\nlap. Up another escalator, out into Paddington station; Hairy only realized\nwhere they were when Haggard tapped him on the shoulder.\"Got time fer a bite to eat before\nyer train leaves,\" he said.He bought Hairy a hamburger and\nthey sat down on plastic seats to eat them. Hairy kept looking around.\nEverything looked so strange, somehow.\"You all right, Hairy? Yer very\nquiet,\" said Haggard.Hairy wasn't sure he could\nexplain. He'd just had the best birth­day of his life -- and yet -- he chewed his\nhamburger, trying to find the words.\"Everyone thinks I'm special,\" he\nsaid at last. \"All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr.\nOllivander . . . but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they\nexpect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for.\nI don't know what happened when Vol-, sorry -- I mean, the night my parents\ndied.\"Haggard leaned across the table.\nBehind the wild beard and eye­brows he wore a very kind smile.\"Don' you worry, Hairy. You'll\nlearn fast enough. Everyone starts at the beginning at Hogfarts, you'll be just\nfine. Just be yer-self. I know it's hard. Yeh've been singled out, an' that's\nalways hard. But yeh'll have a great time at Hogfarts -- I did -- still do, 'smatter\nof fact.\"Haggard helped Hairy on to the\ntrain that would take him back to the Dursleys, then handed him an envelope.\"Yer ticket fer Hogfarts,\" he\nsaid. \"First o' September -- King's Cross -- it's all on yer ticket. Any problems\nwith the Dursleys, send me a letter with yer owl, she'll know where to find me.\n. . . See yeh soon, Hairy.\"The train pulled out of the\nstation. Hairy wanted to watch Haggard until he was out of sight; he rose in\nhis seat and pressed his nose against the window, but he blinked and Haggard\nhad gone.  "}