{"sf1_id":651675,"sf2_id":"qmyJovKn","title":"Cats and Dogs","author":"FakeMan","words":535,"posted_at":"2014-01-19T03:14:00.000Z","tags":["Ambiguous Gender","Barbs","Canine","Cat","Dog","Feline","Knot","Male","One-upmanship","Rhyme","Suitors","choice"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/651675-cats-and-dogs","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/qmyJovKn","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/a8/b1/a8b1223a-b9f8-4344-80f5-a5170140a8b4","description":"#4 of Verse and Other Nonsense!\n\nLike cats and dogs, the saying goes,\nThey do not get along.\nAnd their methods of seduction\nAre the topic of this song.\nAs you scour through this piece\nAnd its oddly foppish voice,\nAll I ask is at the end\nThat you tell me of your choice.","content":"Disclaimer - T.E.V. Warning \u0026nbsp;(Contains Troubadourially Erotic Verse)\u0026nbsp;\n\nCats and Dogs\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nVying for your heart's affection\n\n(And some other organs too)\n\nA dashing dog, a clever cat\n\nBoth stand in front of you.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nTheir fur's on end, the tension's high\n\nIt's hard to misconstrue,\n\nThere is a thing that they both want\n\nWhich in this case is you.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"_Please don't bother even listening,_\"\n\nThe lynxish cat begins.\n\n\"_To that foul cur's tasteless whining_\n\n_as he drones on without end._\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\" **Now wait right there, you foul feline;**\n\n**You speak but senseless lies.**\n\n**Just ignore his foolish empty words,**\"\n\nThe noble hound decries.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\"_Well, you must choose one of us,_\n\n_And let's be honest here,_\n\n_I'm the only real option,_\n\n_So your choice is very clear ._\"\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\" **Stuff and nonsense,**\" booms the hound.\n\n\" **Please**  **don't bother with this cat.**\n\n**He just wants you as a trophy.**\n\n**I am doubly sure of that.**\n\n**If you'll have me as your lover**\n\n**Then I'll be your loyal hound.**\n\n**You'll be happy wrapped canine arms,**\n\n**True love finally found.\"**\n\n\"_Of course he does leave out the fact_\n\n_That you'll be bored to death,_\n\n_Stuck in his clutching grasp_\n\n_Choking on his fetid breath._\n\n_If you come with me instead_\n\n_I offer things you've never seen._\n\n_We felines are quite flexible_\n\n_If you're getting what I mean.\"_\n\nThey both stare daggers, pacing now.\n\nYou silently consider.\n\nThe hound is strong, the cat is quick,\n\nBut neither one seems fitter.\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\n\" **Once the bedroom talk is done**\n\n**You'll love what's coming last**\n\n**As I gently slip inside of you,**\n\n**Swelling tight and fast.**\n\n**I can make you moan for hours**\n\n**As we writhe in ecstasy,**\n\n**My knot pleasing from the inside**\n\n**As you soon shall see.\"**\n\n\"_You'll be groaning on for hours_\n\n_If you go with him, that's true._\n\n_You'll want to get away from him,_\n\n_Which he won't let you do._\n\n_Now if you go with me_\n\n_You will yowling out in bliss._\n\n_My spines will tickle your insides_\n\n_While we passionately kiss.\"_\n\n\" **Yowling is for certain**\n\n**If you join in with this one.**\n\n**A second in, the claws come out**\n\n**Two seconds in, he's done!**\n\n**I know you'd rather have a night**\n\n**With lapping ministrations.**\n\n**A canine tongue can offer you**\n\n**A world of new sensations.\"**\n\n\"_Of course, when it comes to pleasuring_\n\n_A cat's tongue is the best_\n\n_For scraping licks to drive you wild_\n\n_And just the right roughness._\n\n_Then as we sleep together,_\n\n_Your skin against my fur,_\n\n_Your mind will be at comfort_\n\n_As you listen to my purr.\"_\n\n\" **Don't expect much rest with him**\n\n**Until it's done and later.**\n\n**Sleeping with a cat's akin**\n\n**To with a carburetor.\"**\n\n\"_A dog is just a oafish lout_\n\n_Who's got more brawn than wit._\n\n_Not suitable for one like you,_\n\n_So fine and delicate.\"_\n\n\" **Lies and slander!**\" \"_Poisoned Words!_\"\n\nThey seem about to fight.\n\nAnd that would be a travesty,\n\nAnd so you think you might\n\n\u0026nbsp;\n\nHave a solution in your mind\n\nTo set this whole thing right . . .\n\nNow which of them will be the man\n\nThat you take home tonight? \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Verse and Other Nonsense!","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/574842-the-boars-at-the-ball.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/697919-thinking-sinking-thoughts.json"}}