{"sf1_id":667352,"sf2_id":"rnaPWgBm","title":"Thing","author":"techfistWolfguy","words":371,"posted_at":"2014-02-14T02:08:00.000Z","tags":["Abuse","Anger","Depression","Fear","Poetry","Rhyme","anxiety","sadness","worry"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/667352-thing","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/rnaPWgBm","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=667352\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#12 of Poetry\n\nEmotional practice piece for a character who's dealt with emotional and physical abuse. This is just practice and in no way reflective of my own condition/mood. Feedback is appreciated, as always.","content":"What is this sensation that I feel?\n\nIs it a figment of delusion or is it truly real?\n\nTo pretend that what I think isn't real\n\nLike a child covering his eyes and ears\n\nTo make it all go away\n\nTo forget about his fears\n\nSo go on\n\nTake a look inside my head\n\nHear what I see and dare to dance with the dread\n\nLike a pendulum swaying to and fro\n\nCounting the minutes and hours until I'd see you go\n\nDeparting, leaving me behind\n\nLike I was never special, never one of a kind\n\nBut soon, I will forget\n\nMy only wish being that we had never met\n\nTo be apart from the demon who fed on my worry\n\nWatching me atrophy and disappear in a flurry\n\nOf anxiety and depression\n\nLike none of it ever mattered to you\n\nLike I was just a possession\n\nShoving me to the ground and telling me to die\n\nLooking up and laughing at the sky as I'd cry your name\n\nBegging you to stop and listen to what sanity remained\n\nPleading that you just open your eyes\n\nTo see what you've done\n\nTo see all your lies\n\nBut that's all in the past\n\nA memory of a time I no longer grasp\n\nSlowly returning to retain its grip on me\n\nAll I ask is to be left be\n\nSo I may spend my days by myself\n\nUnloved and alone\n\nFor who could ever love a freak like me?\n\nSomeone so scarred and fucked up and broken beyond hope?\n\nStill looking for a way just to cope\n\nLooking for a way out of this hole\n\nDigging and digging\n\nAs I slowly lose my soul\n\nWhy can't I just find someone to hold me?\n\nTo tell me I'm their one and only\n\nTo once again have a taste\n\nOf what it's like to feel special\n\nTo feel his touch, so gentle\n\nFinally feeling the peace I so desire\n\nForgetting my own inward ire\u0026nbsp;\n\nWhat must I do\n\nTo no longer be one, but two?\n\nTo once again be part of a two man crew\n\nRun only by he and I\n\nWithout a worry in the world\n\nNot a single reason to ever say goodbye\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/629951-moonlight-lovers.json","next":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/669207-alone.json"}}