# You Don't Need To Understand

Author: ShingetsuMoon
Tags: NaPoWriMo, Poem, Poetry

#1 of National Poetry Writing Month

This month is National Poetry Month! So as part of that I'm doing a 30 day poetry challenge for the month of April. One poem every day until the month is over. Of course I'm a bit late in getting this one up but it was written on the day specified. Others will be up shortly!

* * *

I don't understand.  
I don't get it.  
This doesn't make sense.  
What do you mean?  
Why not?  
Why can't you?  
What's the problem?

We've all heard these words and  
we've all spoken them at least  
once in our lives.

We found ourselves caught trying  
to understand something that our  
minds just couldn't comprehend or  
wrap our minds around.

Or we found ourselves trying to  
explain something to a person  
who just couldn't get it.  
Who didn't understand.  
Who could not grasp whatever concept  
we were trying to explain to them.

Everyday we hear so much about  
how important it is to understand  
each other. To free ourselves from  
ignorance and learn what others  
are dealing with and going through.

But what if you can't? What if you don't?  
What if despite your best efforts _you  
just don't get it?_

Well then here's a news flash for you.

You don't always have to get it.  
You don't always have to understand it.  
You don't always have to kill yourself  
trying to make sense of what others are  
going through.

But you _do_ have to respect them.  
Respect their lives, their choices,  
their feelings, their emotions, their identity.

You don't need a detailed lesson on  
the racism a person has experienced to know  
that they don't like this and they want to leave.

You don't need to understand their  
personal history to know that they don't  
want to do this. To know that they  
getting uncomfortable being here.

The fact that something is making someone  
you care about uncomfortable or upset  
should be all you need to understand.  
It should be all you need to see in order to stop.

You don't need to understand every aspect  
of a person's gender identity to know that  
they don't like being called a girl, a boy,  
or any variation thereof.

You don't need to have a person explain to  
you how many times they attempted suicide to  
understand that joking about it is not okay.

You don't need to know how long its been since  
they last cut themselves to see that they   
don't like you pointing out their scars.

We get so upset, so obsessed with  
getting people to understand us.

Well you know what?

Some people _aren't_ going to get it.  
No matter how many times you tell them.  
No matter how many monologues you give.  
No matter how many poems you write  
or songs you sing or analogies you give.

Some people are _never going to get it._

But that doesn't mean they don't love you.  
That doesn't mean they can't support you.  
That doesn't mean they can't stand up for you.  
That doesn't mean they won't spend their dying  
breaths telling others what a beautiful person you are.

Maybe they don't understand, but they still try.  
Maybe they don't get it and it doesn't make sense,  
but they still use whatever pronouns you prefer.

Maybe they've never experienced racism or  
homophobia and they just don't understand  
what your life has been is like but still they  
try to support you and avoid words they know  
you consider to be slurs and insults.

You don't need to understand every detail  
of a person's life to show them the respect  
that they deserve.

You don't need to understand their  
entire history of pain and suffering to know  
that they just need someone to listen to them  
while they vent.

We aren't always going to understand each other  
but we do owe it to people to try and if we still  
don't get it and we still can't fully grasp their  
point of view then we can still respect them.

I don't need to know why you are uncomfortable  
if you don't feel like explaining it to me. The fact  
that you asked me to stop is more than enough for me  
and it should be enough for anyone.

Source: https://sofurry.com/s/A1pMpqle
Part of the series National Poetry Writing Month
Next: https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/689530-have-you-ever-stopped-to-listen.md