{"sf1_id":710707,"sf2_id":"ve3DyDAm","title":"F E E L","author":"techfistWolfguy","words":575,"posted_at":"2014-05-28T09:38:00.000Z","tags":["Depression","Poetry","Rhyme","Slam Poetry","anxiety","confidence"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/710707-f-e-e-l","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/ve3DyDAm","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=710707\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#16 of Poetry\n\nA slam poetry piece I did since I wasn't feeling too well.","content":"All around me\n\nAre these faces\n\nReminding me of places in my memory\n\nPlaces that I wish to be\n\nTo be free from these shackles I put on myself\n\nTellin' myself I'm doin' it for me\n\nWhile I just sit there, left to die and to atrophy\n\nWalkin' around like a contradiction\n\nLike a piece of fiction that makes no damn sense\n\nA lion without pride or livin' in this present tense\n\nBut I just can't asked to be helped\n\nCause I'm a waste of their time and a waste of their metaphorical wealth;\n\nGolden hearts and diamond minds\n\nSo precious, like a gift from the Divines\n\nWasted on a fool who's going deaf and blind\n\nScrambling to write out his useless thoughts on the walls of his prison\n\nLivin' out his days like a prisoner when he isn't\n\nBut what would you know of that?\n\nLiving your life so contently never worrying of that\n\nWhich you'll never have to feel\n\nForever thinking my Hell is fiction, but it's real!\n\nEvery day it just gets worse and worse and there's nothing I can do\n\nLeft to my own devices in this crisis that I'm livin' through\n\nAlways pissed off at who I am and what I do \u0026nbsp;\n\nNever able to understand\n\nWhy I can't fit the mold;\n\nTo be part of their fucked up conformity,\n\nQuietly slipping into this uniformity\n\nI just want to find peace!\n\nI want to quit feeling this burning anger and hate\n\nI want to put an end to this fucking jealously I feel\n\nWrithing inside me like an animal I've locked behind bars\n\nTelling it to go away and that it's not real\n\nTrying to deny that I feel what I feel\n\nPutting on a face to keep myself from losing my fragile grip on it all\n\nBut in the end, I just want to close my eyes and have a taste\n\nOf this joy that everyone else seems to feel\n\nTo look in the mirror and to be happy with what's real\n\nTo put an end to all this negativity and ire inside me\n\nTo look out and just find someone who wants to love me for me\n\nSo I can quit feeling like I'm a waste of space in this place\n\nWasting away like a book on a shelf that'll never be read\n\nConstantly filled with this dread of abandonment\n\nTrying to strike a balance between myself and my demons\n\nFighting day in and day out to keep it all together and to not freak out\n\nTo keep my mouth shut so I don't break down like an animal\n\nLosing all sense and curling up into a ball\n\nCrying tears I've kept bottled up for so long\n\nLetting it all out, feeling a momentary peace\n\nA release from this bondage of mine\n\nBut I assure you, they'll be back in time\n\nRavaging my mind and taking it all back again\n\nMaking me feel this anger all over again\n\nPoising me with this jealousy and this hate\n\nFilling me to the brim with this ungodly taint\n\nRepeating this cycle over and over again\n\nDooming me until the day that I die\n\nFollowing me around until I say my last goodbye\n\nDeparting from this place where I never belonged\n\nLeaving behind all the people I've wronged\n\nPutting an end to all this shit that I feel\n\nDashing my memories to the wind\n\nTelling myself that it was never real\u0026nbsp;\n\n  \n  \n\n","series":{"name":"Poetry","previous":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/704562-the-broken-man.json"}}