{"sf1_id":733044,"sf2_id":"V1YXKxOn","title":"My night Before X-Mas","author":"Remo Blockade","words":326,"posted_at":"2014-07-20T10:55:00.000Z","tags":["Christmas","Lion","Other","Poem","X-mas"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/733044-my-night-before-x-mas","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/V1YXKxOn","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/43/19/431906f9-7068-44ae-95b7-e59926542aef","description":"Something I came up with years ago. Not a big deal and not very well written. Thought it might get a chuckle or two.","content":"Today of course is Christmas. But sadly, I am pagan. \\*wink.\\*\n\n'Twas the night before Christmas, and there was no food in\n\nmy house. My cigarettes were gone and ill blame that on my spouse.\n\nSo I picked up my keys and dashed out the door.\n\nHungry, Desperate I had to have more.\n\nI started my truck and put it in gear.\n\nputting pedal to metal for there was a Wal-Mart near.\n\nWith my windshield frosted over i made it there.\n\n\"oh no, They're closed!\" I said with despair.\n\nCursing a carpenter and driving like mad.\n\nI knew there was someplace with smokes and food to be had.\n\nStopping at Mc Donald's and Whataburger alike.\n\nI pulled up to their windows crying, for there was no light.\n\nPutting the hammer down once more i cursed and spat.\n\n\" Fuck you Santa, where the hell are my food smokes at!\"\n\nDriving once more, cold and pissed.\n\nI thought about going home and slitting my wrists.\n\nFrom suddenly around the corner I saw a wonderful sight.\n\n'Twas a Seven Eleven, with its sign burning bright.\n\nI yelled and hollered at the top of my lungs,\n\nSo happy with joy I could no longer hold my tongue.\n\nI walked in smiling and throwing the doors wide.\n\n\" Merry Christmas!\" I said, for I was actually so happy,I cried.\n\nI got my food and smokes, stuffing my arms with all I dared.\n\nI looked up and I could tell the cashier was scared.\n\nI grind and smiled spreading my crazy good cheer.\n\nBecause if I didn't I would have went and told him how much I hate this time of year.\n\nArms full of food and cigarettes, I payed the man.\n\nAs I walked out i couldn't help but wonder if they had this crappy holiday in Japan...\n\nI got home, booty in paws.\n\nI sat down and wrought a \" Fuck You!\" letter to Santa Claws.\n\n-Remo Blockade- 12-25-2009\n\n  \n  \n\n"}