{"sf1_id":734359,"sf2_id":"deP33NY1","title":"Complex Nightmare","author":"Werefox Inari Sachi","words":278,"posted_at":"2014-07-23T08:14:00.000Z","tags":["Poetry","rambling"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/734359-complex-nightmare","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/s/deP33NY1","image_url":"https://cdn.sofurryfiles.com/submissions/thumbnails/25/25/25257807-866b-4837-a87e-a757ee6d0170","description":"Brain bleed, rargh, is it 4:12 AM already?\nDeer Lord help, this fox won't go away,\nShe keeps insisting I prattle on paper, even though there's none\nAnd just this screen burning into my poor manfolk eyes instead.","content":"Wake up fretting,\n\nDon't know where to go\n\nNothing but walls on every side.\n\nI do this, 'scorn and scandal',\n\nDo that, police inquire,\n\nDo one more thing I'm going to drive myself to crime.\n\nImprisoned, I could not find a future.\n\nI turned to breaking the rules at last.\n\n\"Interbreed with another species,\n\nAnd be sublimated.\"\n\nYeah. Here was my America; my pilgrimage.\n\nEscape an impossible reality,\n\nEnter an impossible fantasy.\n\nComplex nightmare; how does one\n\nBreathe and live free,\n\nWhen both things seem like impossibility?\n\nI was bruised from a very young age, and never healed.\n\nNow I pray a fox's brain to take the scars away.\n\nDoping up on dopamine from orgasm, still shut up in my cell.\n\nFirst day of breaking free, first chance never seized,\n\nI grasp for it day by day, un-waking;\n\nVixen body is so daunting, hands are shaking:\n\n\"Nine tails sprouting every morning,\n\nFawn and face her every evening,\n\nCan't decide whether she's my body or my lover;\n\nCaught up on an endless midnight's daydreaming.\"\n\nMaybe despicable, or pitiable;\n\nMaybe my story just hasn't started and I'm not so pliable;\n\nI keep waiting, never acting--like a paraplegic.\n\nI'm not crippled, at least not outside.\n\nInside's another matter, I'm afraid.\n\nIs the fox part of the answer, or the bleeding\n\nI must staunch?\n\nI laid, thinking of the answer,\n\nAnd realized I'd had no help to this point;\n\nNo friend to share the nightmare's weight.\n\nI want the fox to be my strength\n\nI want to face reality;\n\nIdentity crisis, time's left me biased--\n\nI'll pay for a guide, I want out of this place...\n\n\"A shilling for your aid, guvnor?\"\n\n  \n  \n\n"}