{"sf1_id":794174,"sf2_id":null,"title":"The Case of the Lady's Lament","author":"StGeorgesHorse","words":5637,"posted_at":"2014-12-10T19:32:00.000Z","tags":["Fox","Hare","Hawk","Implied Sex","M/M","london","mystery","sherlock holmes"],"url":"https://fse.anthro.fr/stories/794174-the-case-of-the-lady-s-lament","original_url":"https://sofurry.com/view/794174","image_url":"https://www.sofurryfiles.com/std/thumb?page=794174\u0026ext=.jpg","description":"#1 of The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes\n\n.","content":"            The covers on the bed concealed\ntwo shapes. One of then turned and stretched, yawning widely. Sharp white teeth\ngleamed in the morning light.\"Good morning Watson.\"The other shape stirred. \"Morning\nHolmes,\" he said tiredly before he pulled himself down farther into the sheets.The fox, that is to say the one\ncalled Holmes, yanked back the covers, revealing that both of them were devoid of even the barest of clothing.\"Watson, you can be delightful when\nyou want to be, but for heaven's sake wake up. Mrs. Hudson will be around with morning\ntea, and if she finds us like this, there will be hell to pay!\"The hare thus exposed groaned.\n\"Holmes, I bloody well don't give a damn. It's not my fault you let everyone\nthink you're some sort of asexual being just because you prefer to keep it\ncanned up until you're ready to burst. I told you the cocaine was never going\nto help.\"\"So you did Watson, so you did. I'm\nglad that you're amiable to a little flip-sided sexual depravity once in a\nwhile. It means I can keep my secret that much longer.\"Watson yawned and climbed out of bed, grooming back his ears. \"Holmes, I was in the Afghan campaigns. In those heathen\nlands you learn there is a lot more to life than a stiff British upbringing\nwill give you.\"Holmes raised his eyebrows at the\nword stiff. \"Speaking of which, you\ndon't suppose there's time for one more round of...\"\"No! You said so yourself; Mrs.\nHudson will be along shortly with breakfast. And speaking of which, I think I\nhad better go muss up my bed covers or she'll know something is up. You know\nhow she's learned your deductive ways. If it doesn't look as though I have\nslept in it, then she'll be hounding me for a reason.\"                \"Yes,\nthe old bird is quite the student. It's too bad she is as aged as she is, or\nelse I might have made a concerted effort to teach her more.\"                The\nhare made for his room, and came back out in a dressing gown. A peek through\nhis open door showed his bed in disarray. Holmes frowned.                \"Watson,\nthat will never do. It looks more like you ransacked your room. Go back and\nstraighten it up, and then fold back the corner as you do every other time you\nexit it in the morning.\"                He\nlooked back and chuckled. \"Damn if you're not right. I did rather muck it up,\ndidn't I?\"                \"You\ndid. She might not notice, but why chance it?\"                Watson\nwas just coming back out when the landlord came in with a tray, complete with\ntea, jam, bread, smoked fish and a compliment of fresh greens and fruits for\nthem both, though they catered primarily to Watson's palate.                \"Mrs.\nHudson,\" cried Holmes, \"how ever does a fox live on such meager fixings as\nthis?\"                She learned\nlong ago to ignore his jests. \"If you don't like it Mr. Holmes, then by all\nmeans go to Hammerson's around the corner and have them fix you something. At\nleast I have Mr. Watson here as a grateful recipient of my cooking.\"                The\nhare nodded, his mouth presently stuffed full of greens. When he had hastily\nswallowed them, he spoke in a rush. \"Of course Mrs. Hudson. Any bachelor unable\nto cook is always wise to compliment the one preparing his food.\"                She\nbopped him on the back on the head. \"Now that is a backhanded compliment\ndoctor, and it leads me to suspect you have been spending too much time in\nintimate contact with Sherlock here.\"                He knew\nwhat she meant, but he nearly brought up his recently swallow mouthful. Holmes\nsmiled ingratiatingly and waved her off. \"I think we will eat better in peace\ngood woman. Go! I'll ring you when we are done!\"                The\ndoor to their quarters closed with a bang. \"God Holmes, I thought that maybe\nshe knew!\"                \"You\ndolt! She knows nothing. If she did, then we would already be out on the street.\nEat your breakfast while I sift through the agony columns and recent letters to\nsee if there is anything worthy of my talents.                Watson\nwas rather glad for that, because for all of his partner's brilliance, he was\npoorly lacking in the social graces. He could carry on a discussion of the\nvarious tobaccos and where they came from, and the construction and composition\nof the various cigars, cigarillos, cigarettes and pipe tobacco as could be\nfound about London.  He could distinguish\na criminal by his paw prints, and even knew the various shoemakers and the\nstyles of footwear each of the varying species in the city tended to wear. But\nnever ask him how he was or what his opinion was. You'd get more than you ever\nbargained for.                He\nlived for the hunt, a term he found amusing for some reason. He once said that\nin the curious fictional works of Jules Verne, one might imagine alternate\nrealities where dogs hunted foxes, instead of the other way around. It was pure\ninsanity of course. Watson looked at his friend with certain envy. He was often\ncompletely unaware of how his mannerisms and flights of fancy affected people.\nEither that or he simply didn't care.                Holmes\nheld up a letter. \"This one shows promise. It is from a certain Miss Abigail\nHawkins of Kent. She complains of; well, shall I have you read it?\"                \"If you\nwish. Aloud I assume, so that you may hang on my every word?\"                \"Don't\nflatter yourself Watson. I find I get a feel for the words better when they are\nspoken.\"                The\nhare adjusted his reading glasses. \"Addressed yesterday morning from The Elms\nin Kent. From the slight smell of lavender, I would say the addressee was a\nfemale, which coincides with the name.\"                Holmes\nsmiled. \"Not taking anything for granted is good Watson. Carry on.\"                \"Dear Mrs. Sherlock Holmes, You\nhave been recommended to me by a friend and confidante whom you helped some\ntime ago in regards to her missing husband. You may recall the case. Her name\nis Victoria Witham. I have a problem which I cannot take to the police for the\nlack of any real motive. I pray that you will find it in your heart to at least\nallow me a few minutes of your time to consult with you on the matter.\"                                                                                 \nSincerely, Miss Abigail Hawkins\"                Watson\nlooked up. \"Who was this Witham woman she mentions?\"                \"A\nfine, upstanding young woman Watson, and very lovely to look upon. Her husband...well\nI think it better to not discuss that matter. I did find him, but it served no\ngood purpose. She might have been happier thinking herself a widow.\"                \"That\nbad? I have seen enough to know that if you refrain from an explanation, it is\nsomething incredible indeed.\"                \"That's\nwhy I like you Watson. You know when to grant me silence. No nagging.  Now what do you think this Hawkins lady wants?\"                \"Well,\nI'd have to say that is difficult to say.\"                \"Quite\nright. I cannot make bricks without clay. I need data. So shall we invite her\nto London and see what it is she wants?\"                They\nsent a letter by post and received a reply in the evening mail that said she\nwould arrive tomorrow by noon, as long as the trains where running on schedule.\nHolmes remarked that they were one of the few things they did tend to run\nsmoothly in her majesty's kingdom. At the appointed hour she arrived.                The\nname should have been a dead giveaway. Abigail was one of the raptors, a\nPeregrine to be exact. She had her beak polished to a fine sheen, and her\nfeathers were preened and every one of them in place except for a few damaged\nones. She had on a unique dress made of lightweight material that allowed her\nfreedom of movement that many bustle-wearing mammals would have killed\nfor.  Overall, she was a fine specimen of\navian beauty.                 Holmes\nlooked her up and down. \"I see we decided to forego the train today.\"                She\nsmiled. \"Yes I did. I don't mind stretching my wings now and again. But how did\nyou know?\"                \"For\none, you have no odor of coal smoke about you. Secondly, your talons have bits\nof thin tan bark adhering to them. I can only assume that was from your landing\non the large branch of the cypress tree in the square one block over. From\nthere you walked the rest of the way to Baker Street. The fine mud soiling your\ntalons is quite familiar to me.                \"Very\ngood Mr. Holmes. That is it exactly. So do I even need to tell you my troubles\nor have you already determined what they are and have made the proper amends?\"                \"Other\nthan to say you come from a good family, which is in stark contrast to the\nlocation from whence you sent your message, and that you were attacked on the\nway here, and that you are still looking for a life mate despite your plethora of\nmale companions, I know nothing of your troubles.\"                 \"Mr. Holmes!\"                He sat\nthere unperturbed.                 She on\nthe other hand was sitting there panting slightly, her wings held to her sides.\nShe nearly tipped over one of his experiments in her alarm. \"How did you know I\nwas attacked?\"                \"Easily\nmadam. Your tail feathers are in disarray, and two of them have chunks removed.\nI can't imagine a lady of your stature leaving the house without having every\npinion in place.\"                She\ncraned her head and looked. \"Yes, it's true. But I was too fast for them. It\nwas an ambush.\"                \"So we\nhave a young lady of the avian kind attacked in her flight on the way to me for\ncounsel. Are you sure it was not something as simple as an attack against your\nperson, for say, sexual gratification?\"                \"Mr.\nHolmes! I'm sure I don't know what you mean!\"                \"I find\nthat hard to believe. I was referring to a rape. You are polished beyond the\nsimple measure of a young lady from a fine family. I think that you are quite\nfamiliar with what I mean, for you are hardly a virgin, if that's the impression\nyou're trying to exude.\"                Her\nwings went wide again, but he sat unperturbed. When she finally overcame her\napparent indignity, she was more relaxed. \"I am sorry Mr. Holmes. I guess I\nbelieved your skills were overstated. I won't ask you how you know so much,\nbecause I think that I'd prefer to remain ignorant.\"                \"Ignorant\nmadam, is what I still am in regards to your problem. If you'd be so kind as to\nstate it succinctly, it would make my assistance to you all the more likely. I\ncare not a whim for your bedtime antics nor for your daytime exploits unless\nthey have a bearing on this case.\"                \"It is\nmost mysterious Mr. Holmes, I assure you. \nI cannot say that my sexual, uhm, tendencies have anything to do with\nit, for if they do, it then makes this even more mysterious.\"                She sat\nin thought for a moment before resuming her speech. \"It started about six weeks\nago. As you have ascertained, I spend a certain amount of time supplementing my\ninherited income by entertaining various gentleman of high birth or rank.\"                Holmes\ncleared his throat. \"Madam, that in itself is a dangerous occupation. Common\nmen have little to lose, but powerful ones have much.\"                \"I know\nthis Mr. Holmes, all too well. Feathers are good at hiding bruises. I have been\nthreatened with keeping silent more than once despite it being in the verbal\ncontract.\"                Watson\nwas taking notes. \"Verbal contract?\"                His\npartner motioned for him to be silent. \"Watson, a written contract of this sort\nwould be ruinous. Therefore, everyone is expected to be men of their word, and\nthe same goes for the lady.\" He turned to her. \"I assume that this arrangement\nhas been both profitable and sufficient up to some point when it went sour?\"                \"Well\nMr. Holmes, I don't rightly know. There have been no real problems to speak of.\nSome of my clients can be a little rough, but I get paid extra for putting up\nwith it. No, it seems that whoever is after me has nothing to do with any of\nthese men. I mean, really, why would someone ransack my rooms if they wanted me\nor any of the sensitive information I might have? It could destroy a lot of\ngovernment officials, but who would even know about it?\"                \"Indeed.\nSo they are looking for something they believe to be in your possession. Had\nyou been given anything by any of your, how should I say this; by any of you\ngentleman callers?\"                She\nalmost blushed. \"No. All I accept is cash Mr. Holmes. I put it immediately into\nthe bank to safe keep it.\"                 \"Banks\nyou mean.\"                Her\neyes went wide. \"Why yes, but how could you know?\"                \"I\nassume the amount per night is high. A young lady making constant deposits into\nthe same bank on a routine basis would draw some sort of suspicion. With your\nability to fly, going to multiple institutions spread over a wide area is an\nelementary stratagem to avoid detection.\"                \"I\nbelieve Mr. Holmes, that if you were not on the side of the law that you would\nmake the most excellent criminal.\"                \"I have\ntold Watson much the same on many occasions.\"                Watson\nlooked up from his notebook. \"Indeed he has. And we have been in jail more than\nonce during his investigations. Sometimes Lady Justice needs a little help of\nthe kind that is less lawful than Inspector Lestrade has the ability to\nperform.\"               \"So\nthen you don't mind looking into this mystery for me?\"               \"I find\nthat it offers a peculiar mix of obfuscation and perplexity to keep my interest\nin it for a while, say two or three days.\"               She\nwould have frowned had her beak allowed for it. \"And after that?\" \"Why, after that I'll have to find\na new case. I think we can have the matter cleared up rather quickly. \" \"Then you have a guess at who the\nculprit is?\" \"Not in the least. You see, you\nstill have told us nothing pertinent. If you would be so kind, humor me by\nreciting to the good doctor your recent travels and purchases leading up to the\nonset of this business. Since I have to agree that it's not a matter of a client\nseeking revenge, then it must be something else.\"\"But what?\"He sighed. \"I would no more ask\nBertrand the baker to make a cake without flour than I would have someone ask\nme to make assumptions based on nothing. Give me something to go on, and I will\nbake for you a delightful solution to your problem.\"\"But there is nothing much to tell.\nAbout two months ago I went to Paris under a contract with a certain French\nambassador. I spent about week in France before I returned home. I assure\nnothing happened that was extraordinary.\"\"Allow me to be the judge of that.\nThe cases that appear to be ordinary on the surface are often the most rotten\nunderneath.\"\"Fine. I will bow to your judgment.\nOutside of my daily contact with the gentleman, I did some shopping. I don't spoil\nmyself too much mind you, but I do have a passion for collecting a certain art\nform.\"Watson's ears twisted at the term art. \"Really? I'm a bit of a connoisseur\nmyself. What do you collect?\"Holmes eyes lit with amusement, but\nhe said nothing. Miss Hawkins looked embarrassed.\"I collect..\"\"Yes?\"\"Dildos.\"\"Excuse me?\"She sighed. \"I am a very sexual\nfemale Dr. Watson. Why else do you think I do what I do? It's not just the\nmoney. I like variety. And when I don't have an appointment to keep, I like to\nkeep my libido in check. In the process, I found that there are a whole lot of\ntoys hailing from different cultures around the world. You don't find them just\nanywhere, as you can imagine. I have to search in the back alley antique and\ncuriosity shops to find them, and even then, my collection only numbers around\nthirty.\" \"And you bought one whilst visiting\nParis?\"She hung her head low. \"I found\nfive. I was overjoyed at such luck Mr. Holmes. I can go for months without\nfinding a single example, and in the matter of a few days I found a treasure\ntrove.\"Sherlock's eyes lit up. \"I see. And\nyou packed them up and managed to slip them through customs without them being\ndetected.\"\"Yes. You see, having powerful\nfriends does have its advantages.\"Watson started to say something,\nbut again his partner hushed him. \"Miss Hawkins, did you lose any of these art\npieces during the break in?\"She shook her head. \"No. I don't\ndare keep such things in the house, not with the maid going through things all\nthe time.\"\"I thought as much. It seems that\nthey are looking for something you have, and if they are still after you, then\nthey didn't find it. I'd therefore suggest, despite how outré it sounds, that\nthey are looking for one of your dildos.\"\"But why? And who is looking for\nit?\"\"Why? Because they want it. As for\nwho, I'd say the matter would be best served by examining your collection and\ngoing from there. I assume you have them all hidden in a very secret spot.\"\"Yes I do. But if I tell you, it\nwill no longer be secret, now will it?\"Holmes smiled. He stood and leaned\ndown to her ear. After whispering a few words, she jerked back and squawked.\n\"Mr. Holmes, how can you know this?\"\"Elementary deduction madam. What\nbetter place for secrecy for a flier than a place no one but someone with wings\ncould reach. I do keep track of things about London madam. The top floor of the\nBiltmore Hotel was recently cut off from the main building by the bricking up\nof the stairwells. I'm sure you read the speculation about it in the papers. I\ndeduced the reason at the time and promptly forgot the matter. I see that I was\nright.\"\"Mr. Holmes you are too much!\"Watson cleared his throat. \"Oh, you\nhave no idea!\"\"Shut up Watson. Now, madam, shall\nwe see this collection?\"\"But how ever shall you reach the\npenthouse? I am not so strong as to carry either of you there.\"\"No, but I assure you that we will\nstill be able to meet you there. Assuming no one has found out your secret\nhideout, then I think we can wrap this case up quickly. Shall we meet you there\naround midnight tonight?\"\"If you ask it, Mr. Holmes, then I\nmust acquiesce, if only to get some normality back into my life. I hate looking\nover my shoulder all the time. It is terribly distracting.\"She departed, and after Mr. Hudson\nhad brought a light lunch, the two set to talking. Holmes lit his pipe, and\nsucked down on his tobacco with relish. The bowl nearly glowed from his\ninhalations. \"You know Watson a touch of hashish mixed with the tobacco works\nwonders in calming agitation.\"\"I'm sure it does. I don't promote\nit as a constant habit, but when it spares my ass a good pounding, then I\nsupport all of its good work.\"Holmes actually chuckled.\"Oh\nWatson, don't be so dramatic. Now, what do you make of this matter?\"\"So the lady collects dildos. It's\nodd, but not the most outrageous things I've heard of. \"\"I agree. But the fact remains that\nshe stumbled onto something unexpected while on her shopping spree in Paris.\nDoes that ring a bell with you?\"\"No. Should it?\"\"I suppose not. I tend to read more\ninto things than you do, which is a shame. Do you recall the robbery of Admiral\nHarrison during his stay at the Hotel Regina in Paris?\"\"I can't say I do.\"\"Well, if you would pay more\nattention to what's going on around you, you might have noticed that he lost a\ncollection of Egyptian artifacts recently excavated from the sands of that\nancient country. He didn't have then cataloged yet, but there was a partial\nlist posted in the papers.\"\"And?\" the doctor said, blowing\nsmoke from his cigars towards the ceiling.\"Much of it was recovered, but not\nall of it.\"\"And therefore you think that some\nancient Egyptian dildo was part of the mix? That's rather absurd Holmes. How\nwould it have found its way into a curiosity shop?\"\"I didn't say I had all of the\nanswers Watson. But when one eliminates the probable, whatever is left, no\nmatter how improbable, must be the correct answer.\"\"So you have said before. I guess\nwe'll know tonight.\"\"Indeed we will. I will just have\nenough time to make it around to the admiral's house and see if he has an\ninterest in recovering this particular piece. I can't say if he has set\nruffians out against our client, but if he has for the sole purpose of\nrecovering the piece, then perhaps we may find an amiable solution to this\nproblem.\"Holmes left twenty minutes later,\nleaving Watson to sit quietly by himself. He amused himself by imagining this\npretty female playing with her toys. He desisted a little while later when he\nfound himself rather excited with no way of venting his lust. Mrs. Hudson was\ncorrect in stating the Holmes was a bad influence. The man that everyone\nthought was so stoically unemotional was actually simply repressing his\nfeelings until they were near the bursting point. And boy, when they burst\nforth, beware! He could give this ladyhawk a run for her money!Holmes returned a few hours later,\nand just in time for supper. He declined to eat.\"You eat Watson, for I would never\nwant to have you accusing me of forcing you on an expedition without your\npreferred victuals digesting comfortably inside your belly.\"It was a poke at the doctor's\npreference for a stable, daily routine. Holmes was known to wander off for days\non end, coming back dirty, disheveled and gaunt. He had the knack however, of\nbeing able to transform back into his proper appearance with a minimal of fuss.\nThat he could go without eating was nothing short of miracle. Still, Watson\ngave him a well practiced glare.\"Oh John knock it off. I ate at the\nadmiral's house. He is quite keen to get back what he considers to be the most\nimportant object stolen from him.\"If you say so. Did he say why he wants\nthis one piece in particular?\"\"Yes, but I am not at liberty to\nsay, because we still don't know if Miss Hawkins has it or not. We'll know\nafter we arrive at her penthouse.\"\"Yes, about that. How are we going\nto get into it if the stairwells leading to it are closed?\"\"I've got it covered. But saying\nthat, I'd suggest you wait until we return to eat your dessert.\"Holmes was correct. Among his other\ntravels, he had gone to the hotel and made the acquaintance of the head chef. A\nfew gold sovereigns sealed their friendship. Holmes had deduced that while the\ntypical bodily access to the suite was cut off, there was still likely a call\nsystem and a dumbwaiter for ordering and delivering food.  The doctor had never suffered claustrophobia\nbefore, but contorting himself into that cramped box just about did it. They\nwent up one at a time, and after a difficult time in getting the doors open,\nwhich were meant to be opening from the outside only, they made it into her apartment.\n It was dark inside, which wasn't\nterribly surprising. Watson made as if to head towards the balcony doors when\nHolmes grabbed his shoulder.\"I don't think we're alone. Did you\nbring your revolver?\"The fact of the matter was, he\nnever left without it. They had gotten into a number of scrapes that the old\narmy revolver had been instrumental in extricating them from. \"Yes, I have it.\"\"Good. I don't like bloodshed but\nthere are times when a weapon trumps even the most persistent criminal.\"Watson wasn't sure why his partner\nthought that there were others in here until he could smell the cheap gin and\nsecond rate tobacco. Holmes never smoked anything less than the best, and his\ndrinking habits where equally impeccable. He whispered n his ear. \"How many do\nyou suppose?\"\"Just two. Since I already talked\nwith the admiral and got his promise to not interfere, they must be under the\nhire of someone else who is interested in the item. I can only guess that would\nmean it's the person who orchestrated the original theft. From the smell of\nthem, I'd say they have no idea who they work for. They have probably been told\nto question the lady in any manner they like and for as long as they like until\nthey find out where her collection is.\"\"Any idea who might be behind it?\"\"Yes, but it matters not at the\nmoment. We need to disable them before the lady comes to harm.\"\"Yes, but how?\"\"Outside of simply shooting them,\nwhich is hardly sporting, I am at a loss.\"At that moment, the problem came to\na head when Miss Hawkins arrived. The doors to the balcony flew open and the gas\nlamp was struck. In the resulting amber light, two rats dressed in secondhand\nclothing pounced from their hiding places. The lady was surprised but hardly\nput off.\"Now see here you two. Leave now\nand nothing will happen to you. Otherwise, I cannot be held responsible for the\nresults of your persistence in staying here.\"\"Oi! Listen to miss snooty\nfeathers! Whatsya gonna do missy?\"In answer to his query, the speaker\ngot the butt of a pistol on the back of his head. He dropped like a rock. The\nother turned and was promptly sucker punched. Two rodents were in a heap on the\nfloor.\"Thank you so much Mr. Holmes and Dr.\nWatson. I must say, I was caught off guard by their presence. How did they get\nin?\" Then her eyes narrowed. \"For that matter, how did you get in? I was told\nthis was impregnable.\"\"Madam, there is no such thing.\nWhere one can get in, many can get in.\"Watson made a little bow. \"You are looking\nat the only two men to have gained entrance to the Bank of England and walked\nback out again without leaving a trace.\"She returned a little bow. \"I\nbelieve you. Now, what shall we do with these two? I'm all for dumping them off\nthe balcony.\"\"No madam, don't be hasty. When they\ncome to they may have some small information to impart. In the meantime, shall\nwe see this collection of yours?\"\"Of course Mr. Holmes.\" She led the\nway to a sumptuous bedroom that was obviously put into place before the suite\nwas walled off from the rest of the building. She hopped across the floor until\nshe came to a steamer trunk. She opened it, revealing a series of drawers. \"You may look them over. I'll tell\nyou which ones are the newest as you come across them.\"\"That's alright my dear. I know\nwhat I'm looking for.\" He flipped through the drawers until he found an\nalabaster statue. It wasn't originally intended to be used as a sex toy, but\ndue to the stylized construction, it served the purpose admirably. It was of a feline;\nabout eight inches long and polished smooth.\"Did this come with a box?\"\"Yes it did. The young man in this\nparticular shop drove a hard bargain for it. He told me his master had a buyer\nlined up for it, but I offered more. He seemed delighted to have driven such a\nhard bargain, but I thought it was worth every penny. Is this the thing that\nhas caused me so much trouble?\"\"As a matter of fact no. Where is\nthe box it came in?\"She pointed to the top of a bureau.\nSitting atop it was a wickedly old looking box, adorned with symbols and hieroglyphs.\nHolmes picked it up, sniffing the wood. \"This is the truly the original box, of\nthat there is no doubt. I can smell the pine tar and  myrrh.\" He opened it up. Inside was a raised\nindentation that was perfectly made for the statuette. Watson looked inside. \"There's\nnothing intrinsically valuable about this box. Even with the statue included,\nit can't be worth more than a fifty pounds. Why would anyone want to have it so\nbadly?\"Holmes pried up the inside\ncompartment to reveal a hidden area below it. Inside was a rolled scroll. He\npulled it out with a cry of satisfaction. \"What is it?\" cried their client.Holmes unrolled it. \"It is a naval\ntreaty between Great Britain and Egypt. The admiral knew that if it were discovered\nthat we had agreed to certain right-of-ways in the Mediterranean Sea, other\npowers would take it as an impending act of aggression. He hid it in this box assuming\nthat if anyone happened to have knowledge of it, they would be unable to\npinpoint its location. But someone did seem to know, hinting at a traitor in\nher Majesty's government. It seems that the thief may have sold this piece off\nto the shop where you purchased it to try to gain recompense for not recovering\nthe intended object, unbeknownst to him that the treaty was in his very hands.\nObviously, the interested party figured out its location, but not before your\nhappy chance upon it. If not for the fates intervening, there might very well\nbe international intrigue of the utmost severity befalling our country.\"Miss Hawkins shook her head. \"All\nthis time I had a government document of great importance hidden in a box and\nall I was concerned with was pleasuring myself with the statue that came inside\nit?\" \"There are worse things in life madam. In the\nend, there is no harm done. The admiral has assured me you are welcome to keep\nthe relics as mementos of your experience. As for this,\" he held up the paper, \"I\nneed to make sure that the other interested party is well informed that it has\nbeen recovered. Otherwise, you will be pestered to the point of death, and we simply\ncan't have that.\"Watson wrinkled his nose. \"Do you\nsuppose this is the work of Professor Moriarty?\"\"Yes John, I think that it is a\ngood possibility. But the line of evidence connecting him with the original\ncrime and the one that has perplexed our client likely has been cut far from\nthe source. I will certainly have to be content in knowing that in foiling\nanother of his plots, he is left to stew in his own frustration.\"They said their goodbyes to their\nclient. I took the dumbwaiter down first, and the still unconscious rats were\nsent down one at a time. Holmes followed afterwards. They dragged their prizes\nto the alley behind the hotel with a note pinned on one's jacket. All it said\nwas, \"Better luck next time. S.H.\"Back at the house on Baker Street, they\nwere too wound up to go to sleep. Watson lit up a cigar while Holmes stuffed a\nfew old dottles from his previous smokes and lit up.\"So Holmes, you had it figured out\nfrom the start?\"\"Heavens no Watson. I only surmised\nthat her clients had nothing to do with her problem. If one of them had lost\nsomething dear to them all they had to do was ask her if she had found it.\nTrue, some of the officials are a bit dim, but I think even they would know\nbetter than to make a problem worse than it was.\"\"I see that.\"\"So it had to be something else entirely.\nWhy ransack her rooms unless you were looking for something. It had to be\nsomething new. Since nothing was taken, it meant that they didn't find what\nthey were looking for. To that end I assumed she had another place to spend her\nprivate time. Since she obviously rakes in a lot of money serving the needs of\nour great leaders, the place could be expensive. That brought to mind the hotel.\nSo if what we were seeking was held there, it had to be something she did not\nwant others to see.\"\"I follow you.\"\"My discussion with the admiral\nshowed that he was missing more than just a few vintage baubles. He sent a\ntelegram to Mycroft, who vouched for my absolute impeccable trustworthiness. He\ntherefore told me about the treaty. It wasn't hard to deduce that the young\nlady had it in her possession, even if it was unknowingly.  I found the idea of someone wanting a tool for\nsexual pleasuring badly enough to steal it to be ridiculous. Even if it had\nsome small value, it would be far easier to have a craftsman make a new one.\"\"So who is the leak within his\noffice?\"\"That Watson is not my problem.\nUntil such time as the admiral asks for my help, they can deal with it on their\nown.\"\"I guess that wraps it up. When\nwill you hand over the document?\"\"In the morning. No one knows it is\nhere, and I will lock it in my desk with the rest of my mementos. I have\nalready left word through one of my Baker's Street Irregulars to inform the\noffice that it is here.\"\"So then I guess all that's left is\nto go to bed and get some sleep, eh Holmes?\"\"Sleep is always optional Watson.\nYou know that!\"The doctor rolled his eyes. \"Yes\nHolmes. With you, just about everything is optional!\""}